Should I walk her dog? Help me decide (pretty silly, I know!)

[gwendolyn]

Date: 7/8/2008 4:59:58 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Wow, so much for neighbors

I don't have a problem with anyone saying no. It's entirely your choice to do whatever you are comfortable with, period.


That said, here in the midwest (less so in Los Angeles) neighbors do ask each other to watch their houses, pick up mail/newspapers, mow once or twice, water a few plants/garden, or walk an animal all the time. It's just the neighborly thing to do. No one thinks anything about it. Sooner or later we figure we'll take a vacation and the favor gets returned. Do unto others....etc.


I'm really surprised how many of you hesitate because you think it becomes expected or demanded. Maybe here we don't have a problem asking, but we also don't have a problem saying no when it's not convenient. No one makes you a slave or takes advantage unless you allow it.


Most dog and cat people I know trade watching duties all the time, even in my hi-rise in California. It's not about saving money on boarding, it's that we know our pets will be happier and petted with a neighbor. I don't socialize with any of my neighbors but we do trade doggies from time to time.

In my experience, it DID become demanded. I don't just think it, I know it. I lived it. I took care of dogs because it's not the poor *dog's* fault its owners were irresponsible and would leave sometimes literally an HOUR before leaving me a voicemail (which I'd get a few hours later) saying, "Going out of town with so-and-so for a week, be a doll and walk Mojo 3 times a day otherwise he'll poop all over the house, greatthanksbye!" Yes, I lived in the same building, but I had four jobs. So, no. Sorry to all you would-be-considerate-dog-people, I've been burned by the inconsiderate and irresponsible too many times. No more dog watching for me.

 

[NoID]

perfect, guess I wouldn''t fit in too well in the Midwest

haha

Hopefully - she won''t think I''m a bad neighbor - since she doesn''t know anything else about me. But if she does having a problem with me saying no...well...

 

[purrfectpear]

Once you get outside of the big (big is relative, think 300K people) cities, people still wave passing cars. It took months for me to get over the "do I know that person?" feeling.

It''s just how they are.

 

[NoID]

Date: 7/8/2008 5:06:20 PM
Author: Bliss
Yay! Good job. It''s never good to do something you really don''t feel comfortable doing. One, you''ll be stressed out about it and life''s too short for that. Two, you''ll resent her later and it''ll ruin any possibility of friendship you''d have because you let her pressure you into it. So yay for you! I''d do it for neighbors I''m friends with...but a stranger right off the bat? No way. You have no idea what her expectations are.

Besides, I know being neighborly is one thing...and we want to be good people. But there''s a liability for you in having a stranger''s key and going to and fro. What if something was missing or they were robbed? Who knows? You''d be blamed for it. And what if something happened (God forbid) to the dog? You aren''t familiar with the doggie or any health issues/medication/phobias... some dogs get aggressive... It''s a very big responsibility -- like watching someone else''s CHILDREN!

Also, closing your garage door behind you when you pull in is the safe thing to do, actually. So don''t let her make you feel badly about that! These days, with home invasions and the like -- that is how women are being advised by local officials when you pull into your garage. You close the door while you''re safe in your car and make sure no one slips inside.

You can have a heart of gold without being a doormat. You stood up for yourself, so good for you!

Yes, I definitely think I made the right decision...

As far as the garage door thing, I do it without even thinking about it, I mean there''s no reason to NOT close it right behind me. And you''re right, though, it''s a safety thing as well. The garage IS another entry point into your house - if we ever leave the garage door open (i.e., because we''re working in the garage, etc.) and we come inside for whatever reason, I lock the door in the laundry room that leads to the outside.

If she intended for me to feel bad about that...I didn''t...I don''t react well to guilt-inducing comments - I may fall for it in the moment, but it was her comments that eventually made me decide like Gwendolyn said ALARMALARM! HAHA

 

[Linda W]

NOID, I think you made the right decision. I am friendly with our neighbors, but that is it.

In the past when we lived in another city, I had a bad experience. They were constantly knocking on my door. It drove me crazy. I also drive in our garage and close the door.


Linda

 

[NoID]

Linda...yeah...I''ve never been great with unexpected visitors...would drive me crazy too...my first reaction to a knock on the door is "who the F IS THAT" - I''ve actually gotten a little better/nicer over the years and I''m able to come to the door (when I decide to answer it) not looking COMPLETELY annoyed...so I''ve calmed down a bit...but if someone was always knocking on my door...yeah, I''d have to put a stop to it somehow...

 

[Linda W]

Yes, they started knocking at 8:30 in the morning to have coffee. They were the coffee clutch. No thank you.


Linda

 

[bee*]

It does sound like you made the right decision as it really didn''t sound like you wanted to do it. Personally, I probably would have but then I''d be chatty with most of my neighbours and know them.

 

[Sabine]

It''s probably good that you said no.

I had a really similar experience recently. I''m staying at my dad''s up until the wedding (not where I currently live), and one day, one of his neighbors who I had seen but never met came over and asked if I would pet-sit his dog for a couple days. I was so shocked and stunned that I said yes before really thinking about it.

In the process of dog-sitting, I had to learn to bribe the dog to go out since it was afraid of rain after a major accident it had in the house that I had to clean up, I had to change my own 4th of July plans to accommodate the dog''s schedule, and I had to give it medicine because it was sick! Plus, I learned that the people don''t take great care of the dog, which makes me sad now every time I see him.

They did end up paying me well because at first they thought I was a visiting college student and when they learned I was in town for my wedding they wanted to help out, so in a way it was worth it. But I hate to admit, if they were my own neighbors and not people that I will only have to see/make polite small talk with a few times a year, I would have said no!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/8/2008 4:59:58 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Wow, so much for neighbors

I don't have a problem with anyone saying no. It's entirely your choice to do whatever you are comfortable with, period.

That said, here in the midwest (less so in Los Angeles) neighbors do ask each other to watch their houses, pick up mail/newspapers, mow once or twice, water a few plants/garden, or walk an animal all the time. It's just the neighborly thing to do. No one thinks anything about it. Sooner or later we figure we'll take a vacation and the favor gets returned. Do unto others....etc.

I'm really surprised how many of you hesitate because you think it becomes expected or demanded. Maybe here we don't have a problem asking, but we also don't have a problem saying no when it's not convenient. No one makes you a slave or takes advantage unless you allow it.

Most dog and cat people I know trade watching duties all the time, even in my hi-rise in California. It's not about saving money on boarding, it's that we know our pets will be happier and petted with a neighbor. I don't socialize with any of my neighbors but we do trade doggies from time to time.

Ditto to that is how my neighborhood is too. I haven't been asked to watch a dog though; it would all depend on the doggie.

 

[NoID]

I''m friendly when I see people outside, which isn''t that often...but if they started knocking on my door all the time, I would not like it...some people are OK with that, others aren''t...

People do say hi to each other, and we chat when we see each other...so I would consider this neighborhood friendly also - and I am sure people trade dog and cat watching all the time, which is great. Me, I''ll continue paying the cat sitter and every once in a while, if it''s a very short trip, I''ll ask the guy next door. And definitely, if the guy next door asked me for anything, I would surely do it, including walking his dog, if he had one.

I definitely made the right decision, for me, based on my own personality and perception of the whole thing.

 

[NoID]

She just responded to my e-mail...

That''s ok. Don''t worry about it. We are still deciding what to do. We can bring him to our groomers for boarding for $20 per day but John is worried that PJ will be extremely sad and lonely.
I still have to contact your girl to see if she is available.

Don''t forget, the next time you are not going to be home, I would be happy to take care of your babies for you.

Curious what you guys think of that e-mail? Maybe it''s my own guilt, but couldn''t she/shouldn''t she have left out that she would do it for me?

And, she better get on it...pet sitters don''t just show up the next day just like that...arrggghhh! Now I''m going to be worried about the dog! aarrggghhh!

 

[surfgirl]

Let it go! And dont get sucked into that "I do it for you so you should do it for me" cycle because it sounds like that will drive you bonkers! NO guilt!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 7/8/2008 8:15:53 PM
Author: surfgirl
Let it go! And dont get sucked into that ''I do it for you so you should do it for me'' cycle because it sounds like that will drive you bonkers! NO guilt!

Ditto! You''re not going to ask her to "watch your babies" so she''ll have no reason to ask you to watch hers next time. She sounds like the manipulative type to me.

I also do not dog sit, ever. I am not a dog person at all and I just can''t deal with one more thing in my schedule. I would do it for my best friend and no one else.

My old roommate used to dogsit for our former boss and he usually paid her fairly well, but once she dogsat for him an entire week, stayed at his house, etc., and he gave her FORTY DOLLARS. Wow. He should have been giving her $40 a day if you ask me. The guy had a huge breed of dog that was still a puppy and was so time consuming. And he also had a really old pug so you had to watch the two dogs constantly because the big puppy would basically stomp the old pug when she was trying to play with him. AND the guy''s brother in law brought over HIS dog, too, so she watched THREE dogs for ONE week for FORTY DOLLARS. And he was her boss so she felt like she really couldn''t say anything about the ridiculously low $. She never dogsat for him again, though.

I don''t really talk to my neighbors because I never see them and don''t know them, and so I would be very weirded out about them coming in my house or vice versa. I live in the same building as my twin sister and her roommate watches my kitties when I go away on short trips, and we do the same for him, so it works out well.

 

[phoenixgirl]

Take Nancy Reagan''s advice and just say no!

I fed a neighbor''s cat for a week one time, a neighbor who despised me and my husband because he would go outside and then all the other neighbors would appear on the back porch and hang out for hours, all except her (she was too busy what with her mysteriously losing her job and never working again). I ran into her in the grocery store a few months after moving away and all she said was, "Oh, it''s you. It''s so much quieter now that YOUR HUSBAND has moved away."

So anyway, why did I feed this woman''s stupid cat? She had somebody coming morning and night, but she wanted someone to check in on it during the day too. Well, it threw up everywhere, and the guy coming morning and night didn''t clean it up, so I sure as you know what wasn''t going to. It was the worst thing ever.

Alternately, we just got back from vacation, and some neighbors we dearly love killed all the koi in our pond AGAIN (daughter turned on the hose and forgot about it for four hours). They killed about 20 fish. And even though they had to fish out (no pun intended) and bury all the fish, and even though they then helped us (well, ok, DH, I sat out) remove and replace the pond liner, which was a laborious and gunky job, it still pisses me off that they killed our fish TWICE while we were away.

I think you''re right. It''s better just to pay people you don''t know to do these things.

Plus you''d never even met this woman before! And the first time you met her she criticized a decision you had made! Yeesh. She sounds like she should be avoided.

 

[Linda W]

phoenixgirl,

OMG, I am so sorry that happened to you. I hope these neighbors bought you all new fish?????


Linda

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 7/8/2008 7:56:21 PM
Author: NoID
She just responded to my e-mail...

That''s ok. Don''t worry about it. We are still deciding what to do. We can bring him to our groomers for boarding for $20 per day but John is worried that PJ will be extremely sad and lonely.
I still have to contact your girl to see if she is available.

Don''t forget, the next time you are not going to be home, I would be happy to take care of your babies for you.

Curious what you guys think of that e-mail? Maybe it''s my own guilt, but couldn''t she/shouldn''t she have left out that she would do it for me?

And, she better get on it...pet sitters don''t just show up the next day just like that...arrggghhh! Now I''m going to be worried about the dog! aarrggghhh!

You''re reading wayyyy too much into what you "assume" are her motivations.

Sounds to me like she''s just a pet lover who doesn''t mind watching other peoples pets. Neighborly, ya know? Funny how she sounds exactly like the sort of pet owner I described in my above post...worried about the happiness of their pet in boarding. Friendly to you even though you were not available. Offering her help in spite of that.

I think you ARE letting YOUR issues color your interpretation of what you think her email should have said. Would you have been happier if she had been rude and snippy? Is there anything this poor neighbor could do right???

I''d let it go. Perhaps actually smile at her the next time you meet. Stop making mountains out of molehills?

 

[Linda W]

Oh good grief, I answered on the wrong thread. Sorry all. I am blushing here.

 

[CJ2008]

oops

 

[bee*]

Date: 7/8/2008 10:52:24 PM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 7/8/2008 7:56:21 PM

Author: NoID

She just responded to my e-mail...


That''s ok. Don''t worry about it. We are still deciding what to do. We can bring him to our groomers for boarding for $20 per day but John is worried that PJ will be extremely sad and lonely.

I still have to contact your girl to see if she is available.


Don''t forget, the next time you are not going to be home, I would be happy to take care of your babies for you.



Curious what you guys think of that e-mail? Maybe it''s my own guilt, but couldn''t she/shouldn''t she have left out that she would do it for me?


And, she better get on it...pet sitters don''t just show up the next day just like that...arrggghhh! Now I''m going to be worried about the dog! aarrggghhh!

You''re reading wayyyy too much into what you ''assume'' are her motivations.


Sounds to me like she''s just a pet lover who doesn''t mind watching other peoples pets. Neighborly, ya know? Funny how she sounds exactly like the sort of pet owner I described in my above post...worried about the happiness of their pet in boarding. Friendly to you even though you were not available. Offering her help in spite of that.


I think you ARE letting YOUR issues color your interpretation of what you think her email should have said. Would you have been happier if she had been rude and snippy? Is there anything this poor neighbor could do right???


I''d let it go. Perhaps actually smile at her the next time you meet. Stop making mountains out of molehills?

I agree. I think that you''re reading too much into it.

 

[NoID]

OK OK I may be reading too much into it! For now, I''m threading with caution.

I''ll find out eventually what she''s all about...and purrfect, what would make you think I wouldn''t smile at her?

 

[gailrmv]

I too think you may be reading too much into the email; no offense - I am like that too. You went with what you were comfortable with and I don''t think anybody has acted out of line. Maybe in time as you develop more relationships with neighbors you will be happy to trade favors, and if not, that is OK too. I would not give any more worry to the situation - you were fine and I think her response was fine too.

 

[NoID]

tandogmom, no offense taken! Every scenario that has been brought up is possible, including me reading too much into her e-mail.

I really am not worried about it at all anymore (except for the few minutes after her e-mail where I really felt worried aobut the dog and felt some guilt having said no) but surfgirl talked me out that quite quickly. I think everything is fine!

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Date: 7/8/2008 5:07:29 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 7/8/2008 4:59:58 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Wow, so much for neighbors

I don''t have a problem with anyone saying no. It''s entirely your choice to do whatever you are comfortable with, period.


That said, here in the midwest (less so in Los Angeles) neighbors do ask each other to watch their houses, pick up mail/newspapers, mow once or twice, water a few plants/garden, or walk an animal all the time. It''s just the neighborly thing to do. No one thinks anything about it. Sooner or later we figure we''ll take a vacation and the favor gets returned. Do unto others....etc.


I''m really surprised how many of you hesitate because you think it becomes expected or demanded. Maybe here we don''t have a problem asking, but we also don''t have a problem saying no when it''s not convenient. No one makes you a slave or takes advantage unless you allow it.


Most dog and cat people I know trade watching duties all the time, even in my hi-rise in California. It''s not about saving money on boarding, it''s that we know our pets will be happier and petted with a neighbor. I don''t socialize with any of my neighbors but we do trade doggies from time to time.

In my experience, it DID become demanded. I don''t just think it, I know it. I lived it. I took care of dogs because it''s not the poor *dog''s* fault its owners were irresponsible and would leave sometimes literally an HOUR before leaving me a voicemail (which I''d get a few hours later) saying, ''Going out of town with so-and-so for a week, be a doll and walk Mojo 3 times a day otherwise he''ll poop all over the house, greatthanksbye!'' Yes, I lived in the same building, but I had four jobs. So, no. Sorry to all you would-be-considerate-dog-people, I''ve been burned by the inconsiderate and irresponsible too many times. No more dog watching for me.

IMO people like that shouldn''t have pets. How irresponsible!!! What if YOU were out of town, they have no way of knowing!