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How do you spend big $$ on jewelry?

Indylady

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,777
I’m a pretty practical person, and I think I have a solid and comfortable balance between ‘treat yourself’ and ‘frugal’. I’m in the market for a big ring, but I’m having hesitations. I can afford it. This is not an ‘investment’ of any sort - but it bothers me that it would be pretty unlikely that I’d be able to recover the amount I spent on the ring. Does anyone else feel that way?
 
:wavey: Me, me, I feel that way!

I sort of had to convince myself that the money you lose on the resale is the price you pay for enjoying it for however many years
you enjoyed it. I can live with that as long as I actually did enjoy wearing it.
 
tyty333 said:
:wavey: Me, me, I feel that way!

I sort of had to convince myself that the money you lose on the resale is the price you pay for enjoying it for however many years
you enjoyed it. I can live with that as long as I actually did enjoy wearing it.
Click to expand...

I completely agree with this.
 
Having sold some jewellery that I seldom worn in the past when I needed the money and did not get a very good return, I no longer consider jewellery as a form of investment, just purely for my own pleasure while I am alive.

DK :))
 
We're financially pretty secure and, once we have a comfortable emergency savings fund and I know we're contributing appropriately to retirement, eventually money is just sitting in the bank. I enjoy my rings every day, so to me, as long as it's money that doesn't have another necessary use, even big purchases can be quite a reasonable decision. I spent about two big vacations-worth on it, or half of a reasonably nice car. I have a terrible memory for vacations & our kids are young enough that they are kinda annoying to travel with, & I don't need a new car when my older one is adequately safe, comfortable, and efficient, so... Why not enjoy the money in a way that's visible to me basically at all times?

ETA: Cars immediately lose value - it just disappears. Vacations? Sure, you get photos & memories, but that money is also gone. We spend money on expensive consumables like that, we never count on somehow making it back, so that's "worst case scenario" for jewelry, too.
 
So far, the answer is : I don't spend big money on jewelry.... yet. I've never spent over $6k thus far on any single piece.

We have 12 years left on the mortgage, and retirement accounts to contribute to. I'd currently rather take my brother and his kids on a fun trip and build those memories than have something sparkly on my finger.

That isn't to say I don't adore my jewelry, or that I don't find it worthwhile, but it really is just something that I enjoy looking at that brings me joy. If that joy came at the mental cost of always wondering what else I could have spent the money on every time I looked at it though..... well, then that's no good to me.

Some day in the (hopefully) not too distant future, I'll feel comfortable/secure enough in our financial situation to be willing to drop major cash (which, to me, is about $20k) on some epic pieces of wearable art. Until then, here I am. =)
 
I have totally been in your shoes. Before I joined PS I would have never dreamed of spending "big money" on jewelry.

I bought my first OEC during the pandemic with money that I didn't spend on travel. I was a big ball of nerves during that first major purchase. Since then, I have kind of gone off the rails buying wise.

BUT I do try to buy strategically. I think that is key. So far my bigger buys have been decent stores of value. Also, my DH's car will depreciate faster than my HG ring!
 
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I buy preloved. That way I minimize the down side. In fact it’s the whole searching that I enjoy most. Snagging a good buy is the icing on the cake.
I have had a few things made / bought new but I know that their resale, should I choose or need to, will take a pretty big hit. Something brand new has taxes, shop margin, etc etc in it, so straightaway you drop value after purchase.
Jewellery isn’t an investment, you should buy for enjoyment value / heirloom to pass down / on. If you can find your thing pre loved, all the better.
 
Bron357 said:
I buy preloved. That way I minimize the down side. In fact it’s the whole searching that I enjoy most. Snagging a good buy is the icing on the cake.
I have had a few things made / bought new but I know that their resale, should I choose or need to, will take a pretty big hit. Something brand new has taxes, shop margin, etc etc in it, so straightaway you drop value after purchase.
Jewellery isn’t an investment, you should buy for enjoyment value / heirloom to pass down / on. If you can find your thing pre loved, all the better.
Click to expand...

Yes. I always buy preloved too. Never pay retail!!! And I love the search too.
 
Big is very different for everyone. With that said, I find that I would struggle to buy above the size stones I have because for me, I'd prefer to do something else with the money. It's all about what you want to spend and where you are at in the phase of your life. If I was given, say, $50k for example, which would be a BIG jewelry budget for me, I would not spend a cent on jewelry. If you think you'd enjoy it, use it and be happy with it, go ahead. I am at a point where I have figured out that for at least this time in my life, that jewelry purchases really don't make me happy. They used to, but no longer do- and the things I own really don't make me happy either, jewelry-wise. But there are a lot of factors happening that have caused this.

If you do decide to do it, just make sure you are happy with it and don't compromise on what you want, because you'd probably regret it! I'd try to figure out what your hesitation is- and if you still really want the item and it's within budget, you only live once!
 
My ering is the only piece that qualifies as expensive—although I have prob spent two times as much on my collection since I became a collector—but that amount is distributed among 100 other pieces that I bought preloved and could recover the cost of.
For the one big piece? Luckily we had a jeweler who let us trade up, a little at a time. And the years that we traded up, I sold off some of my smaller pieces to fund the upgrade. I will say that no way in heck would I be comfortable purchasing my 2.9 GIA E si1 natural mrb outright. I enjoyed the trade-up’s—it was fun to have something to look forward to.
I advised my dear sis to begin the same way—so she could appreciate the process more. But since she was turning 50 at the time, she said she didn’t have time to wait. So they got a 1.94 aca and are done. She will never upgrade bc she is not the type—very sentimental. Having been responsible her whole life, and married for 29 years—she said she had earned it!
 
There are multiple generations of people - women especially - who have been programmed into believing that “experiences good, materialism bad”. And that spending on themselves when that money could instead go toward something for the family is #Selfish.

And even for those of us who don’t consciously subscribe to those philosophies, the sheer pervasiveness of those sentiments is inescapable - they bury themselves into our mores and our habits and our problem-solving patterns.

Me, I’m fine spending however much on whatever, as long as I’ve got a pretty good idea of what I’ll get out of it later on. Like, I’m happy to have a pricey meal knowing I’ll literally flush that money. I’m happy to buy a bigger piece of jewellery knowing that I’d realistically probably get X on resale. But I get really, really unhappy when I buy something thinking I understood its future value and being wrong… Which makes me very conservative about what I’ll spend on, even though that flavour of conservativeness isn’t really visible to outsiders.

Chef Nyesha Arrington always talks about “cooking with intention”. I want to feel like I “buy with intention”.
 
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yssie said:
I get really, really unhappy when I buy something thinking I understood its future value and being wrong…
Click to expand...

Oooooh, I 100% agree with that. Forget it, I'm nether psychic nor a jewelry expert, so I never buy with intent to preserve/increase value. There are literally people whose job it is to do this well...I have other strengths but not that.
 
Years and years ago I bought several pieces of gold jewelry through my job (I worked for a department store in their “fine jewelry” dept—I learned so much!) at a major discount. My dad gave me a few pieces he’d purchased from his doctor when I graduated college. Also during those years, my late teens and early twenties, my parents and relatives and a couple boyfriends gave me gifts here and there. I had a pretty nice collection by the time I was married the first time in 2003. I sold a fair amount of those pieces in 2018 and came out quite a bit ahead, but I had never looked at anything I owned as an investment.

When I buy things now, I think about 2 things: is it fun and do I enjoy wearing it? And, is it something my daughter might like to have someday when I’m gone or borrow while I’m still around? I don’t really care about anything else; I think jewelry is meant to be worn and admired.

I am struggling with one purchase right now and that is a piano. You wanna talk about depreciation, omg. I don’t want to put out $ for a major brand name like Steinway (@kenny has taught me well) but it’s hard to find a grand or baby grand with the tone and action I want within my budget. All the thought and research for an instrument that’s cumbersome, hard to move, and tough to sell pre-owned that loses most of its value in the first few years. I’d be better off buying a diamond!
 
Knowing that there's no investment value there and then having had to resell/buyback most of my rings due to divorce and thus losing my ass entirely on those processes...I am unlikely to ever do any of that again. I barely wore what I had anyway, but the sunk cost really turned me off of the whole thing. I have my studs and my necklace, but I can't see myself ever going through the whole eng ring process again even if that guy is a keeper. Just a band, thanks.
 
I'm at the longer end of life and have acquired quite a fine few jewelry items over the years. I already sold many gold items, did not garner a profit and I'm getting ready to dispose of more of them. I have found I trend toward certain pieces for my taste and don't like clutter in my life at this point.

For most of my life I avoided silver jewelry as I didn't want to polish pieces prior to wearing them. That all changed about 7 years ago and I now have many lovely pieces and I wear them often. What's prettier than a beautiful sterling silver piece with a casual T- shirt or white linen jacket or little black dress? I'm really enjoying them.

My current jewelry choices now are a simple but sizeable, high grade engagement/wedding set, 3 gold necklaces plain or with simple but statement-making embellishments, 3 sets of gold earrings, silver jewelry and some selective costume jewelry. I accumulated way too much over those pieces and I am considering selling the diamond engagement ring and moving into a lab diamond for that purpose. We have no daughters and I couldn't choose between daughter-in-laws for estate planning, love them all!

Long story, short.... I found less is more for me and it only took years to figure that out. I do like quality, though.
 
I have two pieces that would probably be considered big $$ (that term differs for people depending on the person) but to me they were still a really good deal. My soli is 3.98 (just below the price bump that a 4 would be) and I got it from IG and I know that it would have been so much more expensive at a retail shop or even a different IG seller. It was still expensive, but feeling a got a deal or a bargain really goes a long way for me. I buy almost everything preloved now. There is a piece I am eyeing but I am so frustrated by the fact that it's in a brick and mortar store, and at this point they aren't willing to come down on the price lol. Even though I've spent more on other things, it bothers me that I can't get a "deal" on this one so I haven't bought it (yet). I realize that this isn't rational but that is how my mind works! :lol:
 
yssie said:
There are multiple generations of people - women especially - who have been programmed into believing that “experiences good, materialism bad”. And that spending on themselves when that money could instead go toward something for the family is #Selfish.

And even for those of us who don’t consciously subscribe to those philosophies, the sheer pervasiveness of those sentiments is inescapable - they bury themselves into our mores and our habits and our problem-solving patterns.

Me, I’m fine spending however much on whatever, as long as I’ve got a pretty good idea of what I’ll get out of it later on. Like, I’m happy to have a pricey meal knowing I’ll literally flush that money. I’m happy to buy a bigger piece of jewellery knowing that I’d realistically probably get X on resale. But I get really, really unhappy when I buy something thinking I understood its future value and being wrong… Which makes me very conservative about what I’ll spend on, even though that flavour of conservativeness isn’t really visible to outsiders.

Chef Nyesha Arrington always talks about “cooking with intention”. I want to feel like I “buy with intention”.
Click to expand...

100% "THIS" in regards to the pervasive "experiences good, materialism bad" mentality and societal expectations being thrust upon people, women especially. It has absolutely invaded my mind and thought processes. I have been made to feel like a bad or inconsiderate person based on my buying habits, and guarantee this is a massive contributing factor in my mental roadblock to purchasing larger ticket items.

For example: I was working TWO full time jobs to save up for college (I did this for a year), and at one point purchased a $250 pearl and sapphire necklace I fell in love with as a treat to myself for working so hard. When my parents found out, I was informed that if I didn't return the pendant, then they would not continue their contributions to my college education.

At another point, I was criticized for "buying so much stuff" and "do you know how hard you are making this on your parents by being so frivolous?!". That "frivolous" stuff? Oh, the crock pot, cookware, cutting boards, bed sheets, etc., that I was going to need for my own apartment in a few months? That I purchased when everything was on mega sale AND I was able to combine it with my employee discount? THE HORROR.

Even my spouse has told me in the past that I'm "materialistic" for wanting certain things (in that particular case, I'd been coveting a classic Chanel purse for years and was dreaming of when I could own one. Turns out, I don't care about purses, what I really wanted was the ability to freely spend money on something "frivolous", just for me, because I could, and Not. Feel. Guilty. About. It!)

PHEW, sorry for the thread jack! The worst part, for me, is that even wanting to spend my money on experiences, like taking my brother and his kids to Disneyland (which, I've been dreaming about doing ever since I held my oldest nephew in my arms at 5 days old, and he'll be 10 this year), I am inundated with unsolicited opinions from family about how I shouldn't do that because oh, it's too expensive, or oh, they are too young so what if they don't remember, and it goes on and on.

But, back to a part of Indylady's question I didn't directly answer the first time: would it bother me that I'd never recover most of what I spent on a large price tag piece of jewelry? Not in the slightest. I've only ever been bothered by spending money on a piece of jewelry it turns out I don't enjoy as much as I'd hoped, regardless of the cost.
 
Indylady said:
I’m a pretty practical person, and I think I have a solid and comfortable balance between ‘treat yourself’ and ‘frugal’. I’m in the market for a big ring, but I’m having hesitations. I can afford it. This is not an ‘investment’ of any sort - but it bothers me that it would be pretty unlikely that I’d be able to recover the amount I spent on the ring. Does anyone else feel that way?
Click to expand...

No, not at all!! But I do understand your need for balance. Here's how I feel about it... if you have the discretionary funds, and you're good to your family, friends, and the community, then by all means spend that nice chunk of change on yourself. And don't worry about "working it off." Presumably, you've already worked hard in order to live a comfortable life. So if you're looking for "permission" to get crazy, here it is! :dance:
 
I divide it into cost per wear.

If you wear it looooooots pretty soon it'll be like $5 per wear and then down to $2, $1 etc

I wouldn't bat an eyelid dropping $1 to wear something fabulous for a few hours!

I get very good wear out of my jewelry though. The gems are babied and I only wear them for a few hours each time but I feel glorious doing so!
 
Indylady said:
I’m a pretty practical person, and I think I have a solid and comfortable balance between ‘treat yourself’ and ‘frugal’. I’m in the market for a big ring, but I’m having hesitations. I can afford it. This is not an ‘investment’ of any sort - but it bothers me that it would be pretty unlikely that I’d be able to recover the amount I spent on the ring. Does anyone else feel that way?
Click to expand...

I changed my strategy and went to lab for a few reasons:

1) I lost the two rings and it left a hole in my heart and though they were insured and are in the process of getting replaced, I‘m doing lab side stones because it’s less expensive. The sapphire is still real and was quite a bit more than I paid for the first one. If I lose this one, I’m going all lab because I can’t be trusted. Lol

2) my daughter doesn’t like diamonds. It breaks my heart, but we also hear that Gen X supposedly isn’t into things and they want a house and experiences. With my kids, this is very true. So this causes me to not go as large as I want because I’m not sure who would want my jewelry and I think there are better assets to leave them when I‘m gone that would be easier for them to sell if that is what they are going to do.

I guess I went off into a different direction than what you posted about. I can afford to go larger with no guilt, but I don’t see the point if no one else in my family is going to want it after I‘m gone. It makes me sad.

ETA: my 1.52 ct asscher in a CVB ID setting is my most expensive piece I own, which was about a grand total of around 15k +/- . It kills me to see how large of a lab asscher I could now get for the same price.
 
mellowyellowgirl said:
I divide it into cost per wear.

If you wear it looooooots pretty soon it'll be like $5 per wear and then down to $2, $1 etc

I wouldn't bat an eyelid dropping $1 to wear something fabulous for a few hours!

I get very good wear out of my jewelry though. The gems are babied and I only wear them for a few hours each time but I feel glorious doing so!
Click to expand...

Sorry I also responded mentioning ”cost per wear” as I didn’t read all the way through the thread.
Many of us make emotional purchasing decisions. I see something and fall in love with it. My second thought to myself is how often will I wear it. This strategy has saved me $$$$ and purchase remorse over the years.
 
I only spend on what I am going to wear every day. Anything else will sit in my jewelry box.
 
vintageinjune said:
100% "THIS" in regards to the pervasive "experiences good, materialism bad" mentality and societal expectations being thrust upon people, women especially. It has absolutely invaded my mind and thought processes. I have been made to feel like a bad or inconsiderate person based on my buying habits, and guarantee this is a massive contributing factor in my mental roadblock to purchasing larger ticket items.

For example: I was working TWO full time jobs to save up for college (I did this for a year), and at one point purchased a $250 pearl and sapphire necklace I fell in love with as a treat to myself for working so hard. When my parents found out, I was informed that if I didn't return the pendant, then they would not continue their contributions to my college education.

At another point, I was criticized for "buying so much stuff" and "do you know how hard you are making this on your parents by being so frivolous?!". That "frivolous" stuff? Oh, the crock pot, cookware, cutting boards, bed sheets, etc., that I was going to need for my own apartment in a few months? That I purchased when everything was on mega sale AND I was able to combine it with my employee discount? THE HORROR.

Even my spouse has told me in the past that I'm "materialistic" for wanting certain things (in that particular case, I'd been coveting a classic Chanel purse for years and was dreaming of when I could own one. Turns out, I don't care about purses, what I really wanted was the ability to freely spend money on something "frivolous", just for me, because I could, and Not. Feel. Guilty. About. It!)

PHEW, sorry for the thread jack! The worst part, for me, is that even wanting to spend my money on experiences, like taking my brother and his kids to Disneyland (which, I've been dreaming about doing ever since I held my oldest nephew in my arms at 5 days old, and he'll be 10 this year), I am inundated with unsolicited opinions from family about how I shouldn't do that because oh, it's too expensive, or oh, they are too young so what if they don't remember, and it goes on and on.

But, back to a part of Indylady's question I didn't directly answer the first time: would it bother me that I'd never recover most of what I spent on a large price tag piece of jewelry? Not in the slightest. I've only ever been bothered by spending money on a piece of jewelry it turns out I don't enjoy as much as I'd hoped, regardless of the cost.
Click to expand...

Some family members, friends, neighborhood gossips…love counting other people’s money. No matter how broke or flush with cash you are, you’ll be doing it wrong. And some will go so far as to feeling entitled to your money if they have less than you. All of this ugliness infuriates me.

If I’m not depending on anyone else to make a purchase, I can’t see why they’d have anything else to say about.

And if people close to me ever remark about how I’m spending my own money, unless it’s my husband (and only because we share assets), I shut down the conversation immediately. I’ve found it’s saved me a lot of grief! I used to feel so guilty and judged about how I spent money on jewelry, but I’m not accountable to anyone else but me.

Don’t let them get you down…that sounds like some toxic B.S. Oh, and start exercising your hanging-up-the-phone muscles :lol:
 
Cerulean said:
Some family members, friends, neighborhood gossips…love counting other people’s money. No matter how broke or flush with cash you are, you’ll be doing it wrong. And some will go so far as to feeling entitled to your money if they have less than you. All of this ugliness infuriates me.

If I’m not depending on anyone else to make a purchase, I can’t see why they’d have anything else to say about.

And if people close to me ever remark about how I’m spending my own money, unless it’s my husband (and only because we share assets), I shut down the conversation immediately. I’ve found it’s saved me a lot of grief! I used to feel so guilty and judged about how I spent money on jewelry, but I’m not accountable to anyone else but me.

Don’t let them get you down…that sounds like some toxic B.S. Oh, and start exercising your hanging-up-the-phone muscles :lol:
Click to expand...

This is where the adage: "It's none of my business what you think of me" is apropos. I just don't worry about what others think of how I live my life.
 
So for me, I have noticed that I am most comfortable spending in a certain range of proportion to my income. It’s not about what I can afford, it’s about the proportion.

I wonder if you are similar?
 
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