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Silly/bad//cheesy jokes?

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The Heaviest Element Known to Science

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.z

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.


Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium''s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.


When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
 
Good one Karl!
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Why was Six afraid of Seven?

Because Seven ate Nine!


I hope this one doesn''t get removed by administration:

A woman wakes up one day and can''t see a thing. She visits doctor after doctor and no one can find out what''s the matter with her. Frightened out of her mind, she gets an appointment with the most well-known opthamologist in NYC. At the appointment, she says "You are my last hope. I hope you can find out what''s wrong with me". The doctor performs test after test, with no avail. The woman is getting exceedingly upset. After the final test, the doctor sadly tells her, "I''m sorry. I have now answers for you." The woman, by now, is in tears. "Oh, how can this be? I will never be able to see again, you''re telling me?". The doctor suddenly has an idea. He takes off his belt, pulls his pants and underwear down and waggles his thingie in front of her. "Can you see this?" he says. The woman''s eyes, having seen nothing for weeks, suddenly light up with excitement and recognition. "Yes!! I can see!!! Oh, good doctor, I can see!!!". "I know what''s wrong with you", says the doctor.............






............"You''re Cockeyed!"

Haha, that joke was told to me by my FI''s 90 year old grandfather. Cracks me up!!
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Two that will get me laughing any day:

What do you call cheese that isn''t yours?


Nacho cheese.

***

When their numbers had dwindled from 50 to 8, the Dwarves began to suspect Hungry.


***

I have to add that the "armies in his sleevies" joke gets me every time. Hilarious.
 

Did you hear that China will no longer publish a phone directory due to chaos.



There are so many Wing''s and Wong''s in THE DIRECTORY, people were always wingin wong numbers!
 
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