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Sit-down or Buffet??

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jcrow

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 8, 2005
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Ok- so i am doing research and wedding planning. i''ve always wanted a sit-down dinner for my wedding reception, though no one really has them where i''m from. if you''ve had a sit down dinner for you reception- or went to one- and have any ideas/thoughts or even regrets, i''d love to hear about your experiences.

here is my thread on the location- if it helps.
 
I''ve been to both...I personally like sit down receptions better. I never liked getting up and walking with my food especially when you always need two plates (dinner and salad). Also I''ve been finding that the buffet style tend to be more expensive....at least where I''ve look.

Saying that, I''ll most likly have a buffet style luncheon.
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But that''s mainly because the few places I''ve look only offers a lunch buffet.
 
hum-

i''ve never been to a sit-down. everyone does the buffet or "food stations"

at first i wanted sit down. then once we met with the reception lady- i decided on food stations. now i am thinking sit down.
does it matter what time of day? the ceremony will be at 1:30. so the reception won''t really be meal time once guest get there.

oh- i don''t know what to do!!

help.
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I guess where i''m from, it''s just the opposite. I''ve never been to a buffet wedding. Usually, the cocktail hour is when you have stations as well as passed hors d''oeuvres. Then, there''s a 3-4 course sit-down dinner. Our wedding was the same.
 
I prefer sit-down when I''m a guest so that''s what I''m choosing for my wedding. I don''t like standing in line. But the pros of a buffet are that people can get more of what they really want, rather than having to choose between two choices on a plated menu. But where I''m from, a buffet was always easier on the budget and a seated dinner was more expensive so I think in my mind I carry some snobby baggage about "I want MY wedding seated" (even though I know that nowadays buffets and especially food stations, can be more pricey than seated).

I say if you and your fiance want seated, then do a seated dinner. Who cares what the reception lady says.
 
Jcrow- I''d always envisioned a sit-down wedding too (since I''d never been to anything but), but since I got married in the south, where apparently buffets are the norm, we compromised. We had 4 food stations, but we also had assigned tables too. That way people would definitely have a place to sit, but also could mingle more, etc. It worked out really well.
 
ah ha- so the buffet is a southern thing?? who knew.
 
I don''t know if the buffet thing is a southern thing because I''ve never been to a seated wedding, everything has been buffets up hear in the Northwest. But I have heard of sit downs around here though .....

I say you do what you want, but I think I''d prefer a sit down as a bride and as a guest. Too much stress trying to find a place to sit and heaven forbid, someone bump into you while carrying a plate of food!!!
 
do you think having a seated meal would cause less mingling?

and if there''s cocktail hour before and hor d''orves (sp?) - is that when guests are awaiting our arrival from picture taking at the church?
 
In my family, wedding dinners are generally done as a buffet. In my BF''s family, on the other hand, they always have sit-down dinners of about 10+ courses (traditional Vietnamese). Regardless of the format, I think most of the mingling takes place before and after the dinner. Even at a buffet, people generally get up to get food and then return right to their tables. As long as you are planning on a pre-dinner cocktail hour and after dinner dance (or something of the sort), I think you will get roughly the same amount of mingling with a buffet or a sit-down dinner. I say that you should pick whatever format you and your FI are comfortable with and which ever gives you the best options for food, pricing, etc. IMHO I think the mingling will take care of itself or at least that is my experience of it!
 
good point mimi
 
ok- if we have a seated dinner-

we''ll do table numbers with guests names on them. for example:

table no. 5
mr and mrs. smith
mr and mrs conrad
ms natalie jones
ms heather port



my question then is - is that all we need? or is there a chart or individual names? this is so confusing to me!
 
Date: 12/21/2005 4:04:41 PM
Author: jcrow
ok- if we have a seated dinner-

we''ll do table numbers with guests names on them. for example:

table no. 5
mr and mrs. smith
mr and mrs conrad
ms natalie jones
ms heather port



my question then is - is that all we need? or is there a chart or individual names? this is so confusing to me!
Click to expand...
You have individual place cards for each couple. The place card has the couple''s name on it and the table number. So for your example, it would be Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Table 5; Mr. and Mrs. Conrad, Table 5; etc. All the place cards are then set alphabetically on a lage table usually right outside the reception room. Usually on that table is where you would have your guest book for the people to sign. Each table then just has the table number on it. Having a chart is too confusing.

Sit-downs are the norm where I live too, so that''s what we had. Instead of just a plate of food served, we did ours "family style" where large platters of food were brought out. That way you could take as much of something as you wanted, and in our package, we allowed unlimited refills of the food. We had these broiled vessuvio potatoes that were out of this world and everyone kept asking for more. We also had 2 meats - roast beef and broiled chicken; mostacholli, the potatoes, and 2 vegetables. We also had bread, soup and salad.

I have been to buffet weddings too, but the problem with those is if you are having a large wedding, make sure you have more than 1 station set up. The wedding we went to only had the food in one location, and even with people serving themselves from both sides of the station, we had to wait quite a while. Then it was kind of a balancing act trying to carry the plates back to your seats. I much prefer sit downs.
 
it seems like i would prefer seated dinners as well. i just assumed there was some catch because no one we knew ever had one.

thanks for the seating clarification.
 
i am hoping they are less complicated than they seem!
 
Hi Jcrow!

This is what we did. We got married in Ohio and there it was probably 50/50 on doing seated versus buffet. The cost per person for seated versus buffet for us really depended on the venue. Some places were cheaper for sit down because they said they had to prepare less food, whereas other places said buffet was cheaper because they didnt need to pay as much waitstaff. The venue we chose offered both but was more on the buffet side of things. Since we were paying for it ourselves, we wanted the cheapest per plate we could find, but lucky for us our hall was the cheapest and had the best food in town.

Buffets may seem to some "less elegant" but truly ours was not. Our wedding was smaller (aboout 110) and semi formal. I wanted it to be that way so I wasnt looking for a super fancy place with filet mignon and lobster anyway, but they can be just as fancy (carving stations, etc). We wanted some good hearty food that went with our theme and that people would enjoy! I remember going to a sit down wedding that served a 7 course meal with really fancy but funky food and we left hungry because it wasnt good and the portions were so small! My other friend had a buffet with breaded chicken, salad, potatoes etc and it was the best food we ever ate. I guess it really depends on where you go. Ive been to terrible buffets and awesome sit downs too.

One thing we liked about the buffet was we had so many options for food selections. What I liked too is that people STILL talk about our pot roast and baked ziti and how good it was and how they had never had pot roast at a wedding before (im telling you this stuff was awesome). So it made me feel our wedding was "unique" in a way versus the standard baked chicken sit down meal I encountered at some of the other venues I toured.

If you go buffet, there is no reason for people to wander around with food looking for a place to sit! You can do assigned seating and it ups the formality factor and makes it easy on the guests.

Our table cards used city names instead of numbers (but of course you can use numbers!) and we made a tent card or each guest with each guests name and the city name of the table they were seated at on it. We placed these in the foyer of our hall so people would pick them up on their way in, put down their stuff, mingle during cocktail hour, and then get up and get their food and return back to their seats. It worked out very well, but I did have the stress of trying to figure out who would sit where! but it was fufn)

good luck!
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thanks punch.

another concern of mine is that since most people don''t do sit-downs, will people be confused? i don''t want to think that they can''t handle - but i am sure some will be confused...i don''t want it to turn into a mess.
 
i guess though- that if we do cocktail hour before our arrival, then they'll have time to figure out their seats.
 
I think either sit-downs or buffets both have pros and cons. I had a sit-down dinner, mainly because that''s how it''s done in my area (Chicago), or that was the case of every wedding I''ve been to since moving here 4 years ago. I went to the wedding of my husband''s friend in Louisiana this past spring and she did a buffet...no one from up here knew quite what to do. There were a few small tables where you could sit, or chairs around the perimeter of the room, but a lot of us were left holding plates and drinks (and evening bags) while standing. I have to say I was a bit upset about that, and so were others who weren''t expecting that situation. I''m originally from southern Indiana, and most of the weddings I went to there were buffets in the basements of churches, but there was always enough seating! LOL.

I like the idea of having a buffet but still having "assigned seating." I have seen a lot of fun ideas for "themed" tables at weddings...one couple had seated people together by how they knew each other, with a printed sentiment from the bride and groom on the placecard in the middle of the table...ours had to do with a bar we used to all meet at before we all got married, and they had written some special memories of that place and us on it. It was just nice because they put a little more thought and effort into their seating chart than your basic number system. It made for more interesting conversation, too, as in "hey where are you sitting?" "Oh, we''re at the Cordial Inn table," instead of "we''re at table 11."
 
i was thinking of naming the tables with french words for love, friendship and such. my family is french & cajun french. i think they''d like the touch. and the words would be easily identifiable so his family would get it too.

we could tie in the french theme with using the fleur dis les on the invites.
 
so do you all think it''ll be ok to have a meal at 2:30 in the afternoon??? or is that just wrong?
 
Date: 12/21/2005 4:53:58 PM
Author: jcrow
i guess though- that if we do cocktail hour before our arrival, then they''ll have time to figure out their seats.
Click to expand...

You should have assigned tables regardless of whether you choose a sit-down meal or a buffet. People shouldn''t be confused b/c they''ll see the table assignments before they even walk into the room (or immediately inside the doorway if it''s big enough).
 
Date: 12/21/2005 5:33:08 PM
Author: selflove
Date: 12/21/2005 4:53:58 PM
Author: jcrow
i guess though- that if we do cocktail hour before our arrival, then they''ll have time to figure out their seats.
Click to expand...

You should have assigned tables regardless of whether you choose a sit-down meal or a buffet. People shouldn''t be confused b/c they''ll see the table assignments before they even walk into the room (or immediately inside the doorway if it''s big enough).
Click to expand...


i know it sounds simple to everyone who''s done this before-but to be honest, i''ve never been to a wedding where there were assigned tables...
 
Don''t worry--there are so many details to weddings that I never paid attention to until it was my wedding! Thank god there are people to help us!! Even my DJ was able to totally enlighten me about when/how to do certain stuff.
 
i am hoping it all falls into place too!
 
I''ve been to buffet, sit-down and cocktail/hors d''oeuvre receptions and think they each have their charm. I personally chose to have a plated dinner and it worked out very well, no regrets. I think it''s a matter of personal choice/style.

For placecards, I found so many fun & creative ideas that I would''ve use them even if I''d had a buffet dinner. There is no one way to do them.
I used mini silverplated picture frames for ours. They had the guests name and table number (each table had a stanchion holding the number). I made a placecard for everyone individually so they could serve as an additional favor. Here is close-up of them.

frame placecards.JPG
 
P.S. I do suggest doing table assignments so you don''t end up with couples/families not finding a table to fit them all together.
 
I prefer sit-downs as well. We are going to have one. I just think they are more formal and elegant. The last wedding I went to was a buffet but it was horrible. They never released the tables so it was a free for all. There were two buffets on the opposite side of the rooms with DIFFERENT kinds of food and they didn''t tell us what they were so we had to snake around all the tables (the room was WAY too small and no assigned seating a BIG NO NO in my book) so it was really bad. I just felt like it wasn''t thought out clearly.
 
Tough question, I always thought I was going to have a plated dinner but we are going to have a very nice buffet. We have a cocktail hour with butler passed appetizers then our buffet which will include a carving station with beef tenderloin. We will have assigned seating and 2 buffet lines which will make it easier. The last few weddings I have been too the food in the plated dinner was terrible and cold. Our buffet is actually costing way more a person than a sit down dinner at our reception site. I really think it is all individual choice...
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Hi Jcrow,

First of all I would be absolutely delighted that you had invited me to share your day!

So with that in mind, the food isn''t all that important. I have found that when there is a buffet people tend to mix more and socialize. If you''re sat down, you stuck with the person next to you.

I''d go for a buffet. Lots of choice of things to eat, and the chance to mingle more with the other guests.

Plus....it''s usually more cost effective !

It is your special day, and the food shouldn''t be a major issue.

JMPO

love Blod
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