WTNLVR
Brilliant_Rock
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Size envy
- Thread starter firebirdgold
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Logan Sapphire
Ideal_Rock
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Wren, I confess that sometimes I feel envious when I see other people''s large rings. Luckily, although my mother has her own 1.25ct. solitaire, eternity ring, AND my grandmother''s over 2 carat ring, she doesn''t really care about jewelry, so at least there''s no competition there. In my circle of friends, I''m pretty sure I have the smallest ring too. Unfortunately, my husband came into our marriage with a lot of debt, and if he had bought me what he realistically could''ve afforded at the time, I wouldn''t have gotten a ring at all. Even now, after we''ve paid off his debt, as much as I would love to have a big honker of a ring (
), I truly would be upset if he got me one, since we are now saving all we can to buy a house in an expensive DC market. I noticed that you said your boyfriend has mortgage payments, which must mean he owns his residence. Lucky duck! I honestly would forego a ring if it meant we owned.
I know I personally can get caught up in size and always wanting more diamonds, but it helps me to look at my co-worker''s wedding ring at times. He''s young (like 32 or 33) and has a wife and 4 kids, whom he totally adores. He wears a completely plain, yellow gold wedding band, and for some reason, I get chills just looking at it ( it''s inexplicably really shiny too!). That simple ring, combined with the love and excitement he radiates when he talks about his family, says more to me than any diamond. Although, I definitely still love diamonds!
I know I personally can get caught up in size and always wanting more diamonds, but it helps me to look at my co-worker''s wedding ring at times. He''s young (like 32 or 33) and has a wife and 4 kids, whom he totally adores. He wears a completely plain, yellow gold wedding band, and for some reason, I get chills just looking at it ( it''s inexplicably really shiny too!). That simple ring, combined with the love and excitement he radiates when he talks about his family, says more to me than any diamond. Although, I definitely still love diamonds!
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Hi! I''ve written this in posts before, and here it is again: Unless you''re Liz Taylor or the Queen of England, someone will always have bigger diamonds. Feeling badly about the size of your diamonds is a waste of time and energy. Also, some of the people with large stones will be in debt for years.
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Awww, thanks Blod! Well for what it's worth here are my thoughts.....It is human nature as we know to be competitive, it is a part of the " hunter/gatherer" instinct in us all to one degree or another which thousands of years ago helped us survive. In modern days where we have enough to eat, clothing, water and warmth, possibly this instinct needs an outlet in other ways. Being competitive is a good thing in moderation as we need this to win jobs, bid for houses, pass exams, all kinds of things to help us get ahead in life.
This can apply to many things, be it cars, diamond rings, designer clothes, all the things that can indicate a level of status and / or self worth, or can be important to us for other reasons. I think what the OP is feeling is understandable with the D IF being drummed into her, I have experienced this from a member of my Husband's family, years ago a member not admiring my ring but gushing on about a SIl's ring and avoiding the subject of mine at all costs. This seems to be happening more and more frequently, sadly. I think it is a situation where you can't win, even if you had a huge F VS, you might get the D IF scenario again and nit picking, so I think the best thing is to get a ring that you can afford and pleases YOU and no one else! Remember what is motivating the remarks and if these people can't admire your ring and be happy for you, try not to let their opinions worry you. I know it is so hard with all us diamond addicts here, but an e-ring is just a symbol of your intention to marry and wonderful as they are, not that important in the scheme of things when you are just starting out.
If the longing for a bigger rock stays with you , as it might
Wren, I think what you''re feeling is normal. Especially in this society, wanting something a bit more, a bit bigger than what others have is the way. I have looked at others rings, especially on PS and thought WOW! But I know I don''t need that for me. Don''t get me wrong, I do want something very sparkly and pretty, but I know I can get something in our price range. It helps a little that I can''t figure out what all the terms and #''s mean in regards to diamond specs, so that I probably wouldn''t be as disappointed as others on PS might be.
Granted, I am guessing at what his price range is but i''m trying hard to pick/ look at things that I think he could afford. I''m not exactly sure how to ask what his budget is. Seems like an odd question, but I would feel worse having him go in major debt or buying something that will affect our cost of living, than having a huge ring. I also wouldn''t want him to feel that the ring is who we are, because we are so much more than that.
I really agree w/Stermag and others that happiness is the key. I think that when people make negative comments about ring size or what they have vs. what you have, it generally shows *their* insecurities. Nice, normal people don''t feel the need to make nasty comments about someone else. Many make comments that are only directed to the person making them, not really directed to the person they are being made to. I don''t like it when people don''t think before they speak. But that also is part of our society. If you focus on your happiness w/your bf, the comments will float away. Don''t give those people that importance by letting what they say affect you and what is important to you. Of course, it''s normal to want people to say nice things and appreciate you, but not everyone is going to be like that. Honestly, (although vey cheesy), I am so happy w/my bf that nothing that anyone says could take that away. He makes me smile, and I feel so many feelings that i''ve never felt before. A ring won''t give me that.
Like others have said, it''s different if *you* are not satisfied w/what you''re getting. If that''s the case, you should talk to your bf. See what the two of you can figure out together. And remember that the diamond doesn''t make or break your relationship. If you have a wonderful relationship, you have that regardless. The diamond is a symbol but it is not your marriage.
But no matter what you feel, you are not wrong/bad for feeling it. Everyone is entitled to their feelings.
Granted, I am guessing at what his price range is but i''m trying hard to pick/ look at things that I think he could afford. I''m not exactly sure how to ask what his budget is. Seems like an odd question, but I would feel worse having him go in major debt or buying something that will affect our cost of living, than having a huge ring. I also wouldn''t want him to feel that the ring is who we are, because we are so much more than that.
I really agree w/Stermag and others that happiness is the key. I think that when people make negative comments about ring size or what they have vs. what you have, it generally shows *their* insecurities. Nice, normal people don''t feel the need to make nasty comments about someone else. Many make comments that are only directed to the person making them, not really directed to the person they are being made to. I don''t like it when people don''t think before they speak. But that also is part of our society. If you focus on your happiness w/your bf, the comments will float away. Don''t give those people that importance by letting what they say affect you and what is important to you. Of course, it''s normal to want people to say nice things and appreciate you, but not everyone is going to be like that. Honestly, (although vey cheesy), I am so happy w/my bf that nothing that anyone says could take that away. He makes me smile, and I feel so many feelings that i''ve never felt before. A ring won''t give me that.
Like others have said, it''s different if *you* are not satisfied w/what you''re getting. If that''s the case, you should talk to your bf. See what the two of you can figure out together. And remember that the diamond doesn''t make or break your relationship. If you have a wonderful relationship, you have that regardless. The diamond is a symbol but it is not your marriage.
But no matter what you feel, you are not wrong/bad for feeling it. Everyone is entitled to their feelings.
Blenheim
Ideal_Rock
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I don''t think that Stermag was trying to say that she feels that others are inferior to her because of her house and ring, but that their actions show that they''re insecure and might think themselves inferior. There''s a big difference.
I''m a college student who drives a BMW Z3. I get a lot of comments very similar to the ones that Stermag was describing people making about her house, and I''ve found myself making excuses for it before. The thing is, most of the people who are making these comments to me could afford my car. Its Kelly Blue Book value is $9800, making it worth less than their new SUVs. (And I bought it only a couple of years ago, so I never paid much more than that to begin with.) I don''t think I''m superior for driving a BMW, but I sometimes feel self conscious when people make disparaging comments about their own cars or finances.
I''m a college student who drives a BMW Z3. I get a lot of comments very similar to the ones that Stermag was describing people making about her house, and I''ve found myself making excuses for it before. The thing is, most of the people who are making these comments to me could afford my car. Its Kelly Blue Book value is $9800, making it worth less than their new SUVs. (And I bought it only a couple of years ago, so I never paid much more than that to begin with.) I don''t think I''m superior for driving a BMW, but I sometimes feel self conscious when people make disparaging comments about their own cars or finances.
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Bottom line IMO and this I have learned - you will never be able to please everyone and even close friends and relatives might occasionally rain on your parade as much as acquaintances, so do what pleases YOU - negative comments are not your problem and only are if you let them get to you! What right has anyone else got to steal your joy???? Never let them diminish your joy just to make themselves feel better - and as Stermag says, you will be a much happier person as a result. My 2 cents.
Caribou
Brilliant_Rock
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firebirdgold
Ideal_Rock
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My mother''s told that story about her diamond ad nausum for my entire life. I wonder if it has anything to do with my sister''s violent opposition to an engagement ring? But then again we''re talking about a woman who''s getting married in a lavender indian outfit that shows off her midriff.
But now that my mother thinks my bf and I are close to getting engaged she just keeps bringing it up! Oh and I forgot part of the story... slaved in college cafeteria...bought perfect diamond for a perfect love... and freaking designed the setting himself! (my father is a very impressive man, thank G he didn''t have sons). And everytime she tells the story she talks about how small the .5 carat diamond is but it didn''t matter because it is perfect. Small?!? And then she goes on to imply that if my father could buy her that as a starving college student, why can''t my bf who makes very good money? (research level programmer whose ph.d is a gruesome formality since he hires post-docs and has his own pet grad student in the summer)
After hearing everyone talk about envy, I realize that I''m not envious of their diamonds. It''s the implied criticism of my beloved that makes me dreadfuly upset. And that''s combining with lingering disappointment that two rings I liked are out of reach. (there was an antique ring I loved that''s been sold, and there''s a setting I love that would wipe out 90% of the budget.)
Amy''s comment about insecurity was really right on, it''s gotta be why my mother keeps bringing it up. She''s very insecure.. and well let''s just say I think my marriage will be a lot better than hers.
G knows we actually communicate (very well)... except about the ring. (And if he switches between ''money''s really tight'' and ''don''t worry about money/cost'' one more time I may throttle him instead!)
Thank you everyone!
You''ve really helped me see that I''ve been letting my mother''s insecurities get to me and make me feel horrible. And I can seperate that out from perfectly reasonable ring cravings. I''ve also thought more about my fsil who I really like, but have been harboring some resentment for scooping us and then taking all the relatives. (I should be thanking her!)
I also don''t feel quite so horrible that I want a ring that will make my mother shut her mouth. And impossibility anyway!
But now that my mother thinks my bf and I are close to getting engaged she just keeps bringing it up! Oh and I forgot part of the story... slaved in college cafeteria...bought perfect diamond for a perfect love... and freaking designed the setting himself! (my father is a very impressive man, thank G he didn''t have sons). And everytime she tells the story she talks about how small the .5 carat diamond is but it didn''t matter because it is perfect. Small?!? And then she goes on to imply that if my father could buy her that as a starving college student, why can''t my bf who makes very good money? (research level programmer whose ph.d is a gruesome formality since he hires post-docs and has his own pet grad student in the summer)
After hearing everyone talk about envy, I realize that I''m not envious of their diamonds. It''s the implied criticism of my beloved that makes me dreadfuly upset. And that''s combining with lingering disappointment that two rings I liked are out of reach. (there was an antique ring I loved that''s been sold, and there''s a setting I love that would wipe out 90% of the budget.)
Amy''s comment about insecurity was really right on, it''s gotta be why my mother keeps bringing it up. She''s very insecure.. and well let''s just say I think my marriage will be a lot better than hers.
Thank you everyone!
I also don''t feel quite so horrible that I want a ring that will make my mother shut her mouth. And impossibility anyway!
stermag
Shiny_Rock
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Blenheim, precisely my point. I''m sorry if anybody misunderstood.
The only other thing I wanted to add is that having a big diamond does NOT mean that you necessarily bought it for the sole purpose of impressing others or winning their envy. The desire to be envied is strong amongst many people, yes, but many more buy the rings they buy because 1) they can afford it and 2) they simply like surrounding themselves with beautiful objects - be it art, flowers or jewelery.
The message I''m extracting from this thread is that the key to happiness lies in being content with what we have and learning to set aside what others might think or say. If any of you figures out how to accomplish this, tell me how.
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Wren, if you wanted to wait a couple weeks, for the last couple years Wink (winkjones.com) has done a half carat diamond sale in April. They are beautiful diamonds most of them ideal, hearts and arrows. I totally recommend him and his diamonds. A couple of years ago that''s where we purchased the center stone for my anniversary ring, and I am very pleased with it.
Mara
Super_Ideal_Rock
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PS definitely messes with your mind, this is a microcosm of the real world, in reality though I live in a really expensive area of the US, I don't see 2c rings on a daily basis. Almost everyone I know has a smaller or less blingy ring than me. Typically they have nicer cars though.
BUT I did want to chime in to say that the reason that I want a big friggin rock is NOT to impress others, I can honestly say I don't care about that. My car is 15 years old for goodness sake. I want a big rock because I JUST LOVE EM...I love the look of a big rock hanging off the finger because it can't even stand up straight. Insane? Sure! But it's what I like to see and what is important to me and that's the reason I still have the 15 year old car and may for another year.
I get lots of comments in my real life on my diamond obsession. Stuff from good friends like 'You don't NEED a bigger ring' or 'Why don't you get a new car instead of another diamond?' or 'Poor Greg, he married a high-maintenance girl'.
When we told my parents a few weeks ago about my upcoming upgrade (which was an accident as I don't really want to tell anyone because I know what they will all say!!), they were shocked and my Mom said 'DadsName you better talk to your daughter!'...I was pretty irritated, I am after all 31 and a responsible adult with a house and a husband and we can spend our money as we see fit. If my husband is on board with it then why should anyone else matter. BUT IT DOES inside...you want your friends, family etc to be happy for you when you get something you love regardless of how they feel about it...
I was kind of bummed after the discussion with my family (we are all super close so criticism still hurts even though I know that they were in the wrong to rib me so much about it) and was questioning our decision and Greg kind of slapped some sense into me saying that it was what *I* wanted and it didn't matter about anyone else etc. Then he said and this is the funniest thing ever and I may just do it...that I should come up with a notecard that says 'Appropriate responses to Mara's new upgrade' with a list like 'Wow it's just beautiful!' or 'I love it, you really deserve it' or 'It easily looks like 3 carats!'...and that I should pass it out to all friends and family so that they won't say anything other than what is on the card. Kind of presumptuous sure but DAMN it made me laugh. Can just imagine the look on people's faces.
Anyway this post is kind of a rambler but the point behind it all is that you and your boyfriend are the ones making the decisions. Everyone else is superfluous even though their opinions may sting a bit at times, but don't let it affect you. Water off a duck's back. I know it's hard when it's family or close friends but typically that is just envy or jealousy speaking and it gets ahold of even the best people in our lives sometimes. Just let it roll off you and maybe think about doing the notecard.
BUT I did want to chime in to say that the reason that I want a big friggin rock is NOT to impress others, I can honestly say I don't care about that. My car is 15 years old for goodness sake. I want a big rock because I JUST LOVE EM...I love the look of a big rock hanging off the finger because it can't even stand up straight. Insane? Sure! But it's what I like to see and what is important to me and that's the reason I still have the 15 year old car and may for another year.
I get lots of comments in my real life on my diamond obsession. Stuff from good friends like 'You don't NEED a bigger ring' or 'Why don't you get a new car instead of another diamond?' or 'Poor Greg, he married a high-maintenance girl'.
I was kind of bummed after the discussion with my family (we are all super close so criticism still hurts even though I know that they were in the wrong to rib me so much about it) and was questioning our decision and Greg kind of slapped some sense into me saying that it was what *I* wanted and it didn't matter about anyone else etc. Then he said and this is the funniest thing ever and I may just do it...that I should come up with a notecard that says 'Appropriate responses to Mara's new upgrade' with a list like 'Wow it's just beautiful!' or 'I love it, you really deserve it' or 'It easily looks like 3 carats!'...and that I should pass it out to all friends and family so that they won't say anything other than what is on the card. Kind of presumptuous sure but DAMN it made me laugh. Can just imagine the look on people's faces.
Anyway this post is kind of a rambler but the point behind it all is that you and your boyfriend are the ones making the decisions. Everyone else is superfluous even though their opinions may sting a bit at times, but don't let it affect you. Water off a duck's back. I know it's hard when it's family or close friends but typically that is just envy or jealousy speaking and it gets ahold of even the best people in our lives sometimes. Just let it roll off you and maybe think about doing the notecard.
argh&stuff
Shiny_Rock
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- Feb 24, 2006
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Wren,
Funny I should find this thread today; last night, my girl who is VERY into small diamonds, calls me and asks if I think a 1/2 carat is "really" what I want to do, "like, for life and everything," I believe is how she put it.
Now, I was really not sure how to respond to that, since all along her ideal has been a small diamond, since her fingers are small and she''s not into bling or being fancy or noticed, or anything like that. It''s all about sparkle for her, not size.
So, I delicately asked her why she was reconsidering things now, when I''m really getting serious about picking out something she''ll love (I mean, I''ve been doing some "real" planning here!). She beat around the bush a bit, but eventually came out with it: her cousin recently got engaged and her ring is 1 carat, but let me tell you this, the diamond is NOT sparkly. And we talked about it afterwards, too. (not in front of her cousin of course; she is ecstatic and loves her ring. Because she loves her man, no doubt.) Anyway, we had both said that we''d rather save up for a home and get a nice diamond that she''ll feel comfortable with that has a nice amount of the "sparkly" she loves so much.
It blew me away that she had this turn around last night. What it also involved, I found out upon prodding a little more, is that she''s been looking around at rings, without me. And she''s been convinced by some desperate for commission salespeople that "everyone wants bigger than 1/2 carat."
We talked about it, and she knows that what makes her smile and feels the best on her finger is the smaller diamonds, but still, I think a bit of envy makes everyone think of something bigger, even if it''s not their particular style, or even their desire.
Funny how the mind works...
At any rate, Wren, don''t feel bad about wanting better... you''ll be breath-taken by whatever you man gets you. That''s what happens when you love someone, and when they take your tastes (however particular they may be) into account.
Funny I should find this thread today; last night, my girl who is VERY into small diamonds, calls me and asks if I think a 1/2 carat is "really" what I want to do, "like, for life and everything," I believe is how she put it.
Now, I was really not sure how to respond to that, since all along her ideal has been a small diamond, since her fingers are small and she''s not into bling or being fancy or noticed, or anything like that. It''s all about sparkle for her, not size.
So, I delicately asked her why she was reconsidering things now, when I''m really getting serious about picking out something she''ll love (I mean, I''ve been doing some "real" planning here!). She beat around the bush a bit, but eventually came out with it: her cousin recently got engaged and her ring is 1 carat, but let me tell you this, the diamond is NOT sparkly. And we talked about it afterwards, too. (not in front of her cousin of course; she is ecstatic and loves her ring. Because she loves her man, no doubt.) Anyway, we had both said that we''d rather save up for a home and get a nice diamond that she''ll feel comfortable with that has a nice amount of the "sparkly" she loves so much.
It blew me away that she had this turn around last night. What it also involved, I found out upon prodding a little more, is that she''s been looking around at rings, without me. And she''s been convinced by some desperate for commission salespeople that "everyone wants bigger than 1/2 carat."
We talked about it, and she knows that what makes her smile and feels the best on her finger is the smaller diamonds, but still, I think a bit of envy makes everyone think of something bigger, even if it''s not their particular style, or even their desire.
Funny how the mind works...
At any rate, Wren, don''t feel bad about wanting better... you''ll be breath-taken by whatever you man gets you. That''s what happens when you love someone, and when they take your tastes (however particular they may be) into account.
LAJennifer
Ideal_Rock
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- Mar 2, 2005
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The impression that I am getting isn''t that you are upset or second guessing your choice in the size of the diamond. I think you really know what you want and are happy with your choice. It seems like you are bothered by the fact that your future fiance isn''t making that HUGE of a sacrifice by not "scrimping, saving and washing dishes, etc" like your Dad did for your Mother. Maybe you feel a little jipped that he is spending the equivalent of only one months mortgage (regardless of what that dollar amount actually is) and isn''t really "giving up" or "sacrificing" anything major to get something for YOU. Most people who don''t seriously live above their means can usually come up with one month''s mortgage or rent fairly easily. Again, I don''t think this has anything to do with the $ amount, but the sacrifice. I could be completely wrong - and if I am, just ignore me. If I''m right, then I think you should express to him how you feel. I''m sure he wants you to be happy.
LAJennifer
Ideal_Rock
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tulip928
Brilliant_Rock
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rainbowtrout
Ideal_Rock
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wow, tulip, that's...meh. He must have some other great qualities I'm assuming..
I don't get size envy as much as wanting my mother to hush as well. Having once had money, her comment about flyfisher's original idea of a .5 ct diamond was....
"You aren't going to be able to SEE the diamond!"
Same woman who would take me to Tiffany's and try to insist that the saleswoman have me try on 2 ct rings and such when she heard we were looking...oi. For a former European, she's very Americanized in her love of diamonds--even though she knows nothing about them!
It's a complete status thing...
ETA: I DO get size envy on things other than rings. I just am not a fan of big rings on me...but boy oh boy would I love a big fat oval or pear teardrop necklace.
I don't get size envy as much as wanting my mother to hush as well. Having once had money, her comment about flyfisher's original idea of a .5 ct diamond was....
"You aren't going to be able to SEE the diamond!"
Same woman who would take me to Tiffany's and try to insist that the saleswoman have me try on 2 ct rings and such when she heard we were looking...oi. For a former European, she's very Americanized in her love of diamonds--even though she knows nothing about them!
It's a complete status thing...
ETA: I DO get size envy on things other than rings. I just am not a fan of big rings on me...but boy oh boy would I love a big fat oval or pear teardrop necklace.
anchor31
Ideal_Rock
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- Oct 18, 2005
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Hey, that''s what I''m hoping to get and you definitely can see it (but I''m sure you know that rainbow
I get ring envy too, and I know it''s not easy. I just try to remind myself that in the end it''s the relationship that matters, not the ring.
rainbowtrout
Ideal_Rock
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I felt the urge to chime in again and tell you that my mom has never had an engagement ring, or owned a diamond, period! My dad proposed with a cigar band (trite, I know) and they got married two weeks later. She wasn''t pregnant, they just did it on kind of a whim, I guess. Anyway, she picked out her wedding ring on the trip they took to Ft. Lauderdale to get married...it''s beautiful, a solid YG 12mm comfort band looking ring.
When I got engaged, and came home with my now husband for the first time as an engaged couple, neither of my parents even asked to see my ring. I literally had to stick my hand in my dad''s face while we were all out at dinner, and his comment was "wow!" in a fake shocked voice. I felt so bad for my husband, he''d done all his research and given me a fabulous 1.5c RB, and my parents didn''t even compliment us on it. It was one of the most awkward moments of my life. I''ll never fully understand why their reaction was what it was, they both like my husband so I know it wasn''t about him... I think they are just not diamond people. Sometimes I think I was switched at birth, lol!
When I got engaged, and came home with my now husband for the first time as an engaged couple, neither of my parents even asked to see my ring. I literally had to stick my hand in my dad''s face while we were all out at dinner, and his comment was "wow!" in a fake shocked voice. I felt so bad for my husband, he''d done all his research and given me a fabulous 1.5c RB, and my parents didn''t even compliment us on it. It was one of the most awkward moments of my life. I''ll never fully understand why their reaction was what it was, they both like my husband so I know it wasn''t about him... I think they are just not diamond people. Sometimes I think I was switched at birth, lol!
firebirdgold
Ideal_Rock
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- Nov 30, 2005
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Well, I just got back from another hand doctor visit to Los Angeles. Had some free time and of course had to stop in at tiffany''s and try on the etoile.
It made me feel so much better.
I looked at a .39 classic tiffany as well as a .34 platinum etoile, and they both looked terrific on my hand. The knife edge feels a little odd, doesn''t it? Anyway, I just loved how the etoile looked and felt. I figure the etoile is the closest approximation to the general look of the niwaka styles I''m thinking about. After today I''m convinced that a 1/3 carat integral with a wide-ish ring combined with a w-band set with scattered diamonds is the most perfect look and feel for me.
The very best part is my mother was with me, and she loved how they looked too! No comments about the size at all, or anything negative. So hopefully that will shut her up on the subject from now on.
I also confirmed that I''m very color insensitive with diamonds. Could not really tell the difference between and E and a G... except that I liked the G a bit more, I think.
btw, I found it incredibly annoying that Tiffany''s only has rings that are a size 6 in their store. Nothing else. I think it''s a mistake. It''s so much easier to fall in love with a ring you can get past your knuckle!
Oh and in case you''re curious, the platinum etoile in a .34 E VVS2 was over $3500!!!
And they wonder why we look there, but buy elsewhere.
Thanks everyone! I feel better about the size and about feeling the bite of competition/envy.
I looked at a .39 classic tiffany as well as a .34 platinum etoile, and they both looked terrific on my hand. The knife edge feels a little odd, doesn''t it? Anyway, I just loved how the etoile looked and felt. I figure the etoile is the closest approximation to the general look of the niwaka styles I''m thinking about. After today I''m convinced that a 1/3 carat integral with a wide-ish ring combined with a w-band set with scattered diamonds is the most perfect look and feel for me.
The very best part is my mother was with me, and she loved how they looked too! No comments about the size at all, or anything negative. So hopefully that will shut her up on the subject from now on.
I also confirmed that I''m very color insensitive with diamonds. Could not really tell the difference between and E and a G... except that I liked the G a bit more, I think.
btw, I found it incredibly annoying that Tiffany''s only has rings that are a size 6 in their store. Nothing else. I think it''s a mistake. It''s so much easier to fall in love with a ring you can get past your knuckle!
Oh and in case you''re curious, the platinum etoile in a .34 E VVS2 was over $3500!!!
Thanks everyone! I feel better about the size and about feeling the bite of competition/envy.
anchor31
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2005
- Messages
- 7,074
just_looking!
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2004
- Messages
- 505
What did you think of the quality of the diamonds you tried on? I''m guessing that the ideal cut diamond you''re hoping for will look larger as the sparkle will go all the way to the edges of the diamond. Having your ring custom made will be exciting too?!!
Looking forward to hearing more about this in show me the ring!
Looking forward to hearing more about this in show me the ring!
squeaksluv
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2005
- Messages
- 203
It''s funny how we feel this need to compete, even with our own family. As if somehow a larger diamond will make us worthier.
In my circle of friends the smallest diamond is a 1.8 radiant with the the largest being a 2+ pear (I''ve never asked how large it was exactly but I''m sure it''s over 2.5 carats). My friends have often asked what size diamond would I love and more often than not I say "I don''t know, nothing too large". Would I want a big diamond? Sure, who wouldn''t? But would I feel comfortable with one? I don''t think so, and mainly because of my family. My mom''s is only a .25 carat and my sisters is a one carat with .50 pointers on either side (or .25, I''m not sure). I know if I had a large diamond I''d never want to wear it around my family because I know their comments wouldn''t be WOW, more like, just think of the money you could of saved and spent on your first home, or something to that effect. But at the same time I''d want something ''worthy'' to show my friends, sad isn''t it?
I have no idea what size diamond my bf will get me. My bf has never asked me and it''s kind of hard to just mention something like that casually! So instead I wait and wonder. I know my bf could afford a very nice sized ring if he wanted but would he buy something huge? Sometimes I think yes because he can be pretty competitive when it comes to his friends. Almost as if they''re all trying to outdo each other. I remember when my friends now husband bought her a beautiful Elsa Peretti necklace from Tiffany''s and not a week later every other guy had a something special in a blue box for their girlfriends/fiances'', my bf included. All the girls laughed about it but in all honestly we were caught up in the whole competitiveness of it all in our interest to see what everyone else got.
So who knows but I do know that whatever my bf gets me will be fine with me.
In my circle of friends the smallest diamond is a 1.8 radiant with the the largest being a 2+ pear (I''ve never asked how large it was exactly but I''m sure it''s over 2.5 carats). My friends have often asked what size diamond would I love and more often than not I say "I don''t know, nothing too large". Would I want a big diamond? Sure, who wouldn''t? But would I feel comfortable with one? I don''t think so, and mainly because of my family. My mom''s is only a .25 carat and my sisters is a one carat with .50 pointers on either side (or .25, I''m not sure). I know if I had a large diamond I''d never want to wear it around my family because I know their comments wouldn''t be WOW, more like, just think of the money you could of saved and spent on your first home, or something to that effect. But at the same time I''d want something ''worthy'' to show my friends, sad isn''t it?
I have no idea what size diamond my bf will get me. My bf has never asked me and it''s kind of hard to just mention something like that casually! So instead I wait and wonder. I know my bf could afford a very nice sized ring if he wanted but would he buy something huge? Sometimes I think yes because he can be pretty competitive when it comes to his friends. Almost as if they''re all trying to outdo each other. I remember when my friends now husband bought her a beautiful Elsa Peretti necklace from Tiffany''s and not a week later every other guy had a something special in a blue box for their girlfriends/fiances'', my bf included. All the girls laughed about it but in all honestly we were caught up in the whole competitiveness of it all in our interest to see what everyone else got.
So who knows but I do know that whatever my bf gets me will be fine with me.
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