Smaller ring now, or bigger ring later?

[sunnyd]

Arg. I realllllly want to be engaged. Chris wants to be engaged. The only thing holding us back? MONEY. Stupid me and my stupid love for a stupid fancy setting!!

We still (hopefully) are going to buy the stone this summer. But the more time we wait, the more money we''ll have to spend on it. Or if we spend more money on the stone, it''ll take longer to save up for the setting. I pretty much figure we''ll be able to get a .5 - .7 stone that''s down in color and clarity. I know that''s not tiny, especially with a halo, but the 1.5 alexandrite on my middle finger looks awfully good!

There will be no upgrading, no proposing without the ring (I asked, haha), no proposing with a temp setting. It''s all or nothing people!

So what would you do? Go for a smaller ring now, or suffer until you could afford a bigger one?

 

[Just_Me]

For me, smaller ring. I wouldn''t want to wait. Plus, like you said, with the halo it won''t look small.

Good luck though, I''m sure it is tough to decide.

 

[Bliss]

For me, I would get engaged with the smaller ring.

But if you wouldn't have to wait too long, waiting isn't a bad idea either.

How much more time are we talking about here? If we're talking months, I'd say wait. If it was more than a year, I wouldn't wait!

Besides, I have friends with husbands who said "no upgrade" but after kids and a full life, they had noooo problem doing so later. And of course the original e-ring was always treasured.

 

[sunnyd]

I don''t know how much longer it would be. He''s being sneaky about his savings. I know he IS saving, but he never says how much. He''s also the type to spend beyond his means on gifts, and money burns holes in his pockets. Haha.

I guess the plan will continue...as planned.

 

[Rhea]

Oh dear. Some of this sounds like us for both our engagement and wedding. I had a limited budget for the e-ring and ended up getting a 1/2 carat that I''ve never been quite happy with. It''s smaller than what I wanted but he considers it to be large. Upgrading is not an option. I vote for a bigger ring later.

 

[CNOS128]

Could you use a substitute ring?
My BF is saving up what he can, but he''s talked about using an inexpensive symbolic ring or family ring as a stand-in until he can afford to purchase what he wants (which is, I guess, whatever I pick out, with his help). I think it''s a great compromise, especially given that BF wants to propose when he wants to (he''s already got the time & place picked), and doesn''t want to be constrained by money or other factors.

 

[Pushin40]

You want to be happy with it - I say wait if its only a little bit, and if its really do-able on his end money wise. Remember you have to look at that ring for the rest of your life!

 

[Bia]

Hmmm...I guess it depends on what means more to you--being engaged now w/out the dream ring OR getting engaged in 6 months (or however long it takes to save) and having the ring of your dreams. Oh why must we choose!!!

Personally, I would wait. If he wants to get me the ring I want, and he can''t right now, I wouldn''t mind waiting a little while longer. Just because thats the ring he proposed with. An upgrade is definitely doable but I would just as soon wait until the time was right.

However, I am saying this not being in your shoes (not to my knowledge anyway). If this was my scenario maybe I would think differently. I am completely in the dark as far as the engagement/ring/whole thing! So if I hear a *peep*, I''ll let you all know.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 5/2/2008 12:59:13 PM
Author:sunnyd
I pretty much figure we''ll be able to get a .5 - .7 stone that''s down in color and clarity. I know that''s not tiny

It''s not really that tiny. I personally would like somewhere over.50 up to 1.00, but that''s just me. I would be happy if my boyfriend got me an e-ring that size!!!! I know how you feel though, I don''t really have any advice for you. Plus the dreaded economy doesn''t help any either.

 

[sunnyd]

I think PS perpetuates DSS in a major way!! LoL. My diamond experiences in 'real life' have been few, so all I've seen are giant images on my computer screen. When we went shopping 2 weeks ago, the lady handed me a 1.7ct cushion in the tong thingies (technical term) and it looked so little! Which is stupid, because that is humongous.

Sounds like some more shopping is in order...

What's worse is that when I said we'd probably look in the .5ct range, BF was like, that's it?! That's all you want?!

Well, DEAR, that's all we can really afford!

ETA: I hope I'm not sounding like a selfish biotch...I know I'll be happy with anything he gets. My real life and fantasy life are getting in the way of each other at the moment.

 

[purrfectpear]

Don''t be silly. Get engaged now since you both really want to. Worry about a larger stone at your 5 year anniversary. Either he will have mellowed about the "no upgrade" rule by then, or you can just save up and buy yourself a larger RHR

It''s not like you have to be engaged to buy a diamond. Enjoy what you can afford now and worrry about later, later.

 

[LostSapphire]

Date: 5/2/2008 12:59:13 PM
Author:sunnyd
Arg. I realllllly want to be engaged. Chris wants to be engaged. The only thing holding us back? MONEY. Stupid me and my stupid love for a stupid fancy setting!!

We still (hopefully) are going to buy the stone this summer. But the more time we wait, the more money we'll have to spend on it. Or if we spend more money on the stone, it'll take longer to save up for the setting. I pretty much figure we'll be able to get a .5 - .7 stone that's down in color and clarity. I know that's not tiny, especially with a halo, but the 1.5 alexandrite on my middle finger looks awfully good!

There will be no upgrading, no proposing without the ring (I asked, haha), no proposing with a temp setting. It's all or nothing people!

So what would you do? Go for a smaller ring now, or suffer until you could afford a bigger one?

My husband said to me 20+ years ago: "Get it right because that's it, forever, no upgrade". Which was great because I got exactly what I wanted (or, thought I wanted.....)

Fast forward to a couple of years ago and what do I do, I go and LOSE the ring. So, we're in the process of getting Jeff White to cut me a new sapphire and WhiteFlash is doing a setting...hmmm, I do believe, however

that I've snuck in an upgrade without him noticing, at least not yet...

 

[star sparkle]

I think anywhere in the .5-.7 range would be really lovely! Especially with a halo! The first rings I tried on were around .75 and I thought they looked huge.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/2/2008 2:11:02 PM
Author: LostSapphire

Date: 5/2/2008 12:59:13 PM
Author:sunnyd
Arg. I realllllly want to be engaged. Chris wants to be engaged. The only thing holding us back? MONEY. Stupid me and my stupid love for a stupid fancy setting!!

We still (hopefully) are going to buy the stone this summer. But the more time we wait, the more money we''ll have to spend on it. Or if we spend more money on the stone, it''ll take longer to save up for the setting. I pretty much figure we''ll be able to get a .5 - .7 stone that''s down in color and clarity. I know that''s not tiny, especially with a halo, but the 1.5 alexandrite on my middle finger looks awfully good!

There will be no upgrading, no proposing without the ring (I asked, haha), no proposing with a temp setting. It''s all or nothing people!

So what would you do? Go for a smaller ring now, or suffer until you could afford a bigger one?

My husband said to me 20+ years ago: ''Get it right because that''s it, forever, no upgrade''. Which was great because I got exactly what I wanted (or, thought I wanted.....)

Fast forward to a couple of years ago and what do I do, I go and LOSE the ring. So, we''re in the process of getting Jeff White to cut me a new sapphire and WhiteFlash is doing a setting...hmmm, I do believe, however

that I''ve snuck in an upgrade without him noticing, at least not yet...

LOL, very sneaky!

 

[redfaerythinker]

I didn''t wait, we went with what we could afford NOW, so that I could get my hot little hands on it as fast as possible.... still waiting though... grrr

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/2/2008 2:11:26 PM
Author: star sparkle
I think anywhere in the .5-.7 range would be really lovely! Especially with a halo! The first rings I tried on were around .75 and I thought they looked huge.

Then what is wrong with me?!?! Haha...

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/2/2008 2:14:33 PM
Author: redfaerythinker
I didn''t wait, we went with what we could afford NOW, so that I could get my hot little hands on it as fast as possible.... still waiting though... grrr

Are you upgrading later RTF?

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/2/2008 2:15:42 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 5/2/2008 2:11:26 PM

Author: star sparkle

I think anywhere in the .5-.7 range would be really lovely! Especially with a halo! The first rings I tried on were around .75 and I thought they looked huge.

Then what is wrong with me?!?! Haha...

Remember it''s all relative! If one of you has a size 3 finger and the other has a size 9, they''re going to look very different (says the forlorn size 9

).

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Sunnyd, is he unwilling to propose with a temporary stone or setting because he wants this to be IT. No switching, no upgrades, etc.? If that is the case, it might affect your decision.

In my opinin, the best thing to do is figure out what would be ideal. Is .75 exactly what you want? or a carat? I think figuring that out is most important. Then talk to him about how long you''d have to wait to get to your ideal size. If it''s 6 additional months, it''s probably worth it. If it''s something like 2 years, however, then you probably want to scale back.

No matter what, it''s going to be gorgeous!

 

[star sparkle]

Date: 5/2/2008 2:15:42 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 5/2/2008 2:11:26 PM

Author: star sparkle

I think anywhere in the .5-.7 range would be really lovely! Especially with a halo! The first rings I tried on were around .75 and I thought they looked huge.

Then what is wrong with me?!?! Haha...

Aww, nothing is wrong with you! I think you just have to put it into perspective. For example, on PS, my .82ct is on the smaller side of the scale. However, in real life, my .82ct looks much larger than what women out on the street have. In the real world, people probably see my ring and think that it''s really large!

 

[star sparkle]

Date: 5/2/2008 2:20:56 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 5/2/2008 2:15:42 PM

Author: sunnyd

Date: 5/2/2008 2:11:26 PM


Author: star sparkle


I think anywhere in the .5-.7 range would be really lovely! Especially with a halo! The first rings I tried on were around .75 and I thought they looked huge.

Then what is wrong with me?!?! Haha...

Remember it''s all relative! If one of you has a size 3 finger and the other has a size 9, they''re going to look very different (says the forlorn size 9

).

Yes, this is true! My finger is size 4.75, so my .82 appears to be about the same (or a hair larger) as a 1ct would on a size 6 finger.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/2/2008 2:26:34 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
Sunnyd, is he unwilling to propose with a temporary stone or setting because he wants this to be IT. No switching, no upgrades, etc.? If that is the case, it might affect your decision.

In my opinin, the best thing to do is figure out what would be ideal. Is .75 exactly what you want? or a carat? I think figuring that out is most important. Then talk to him about how long you''d have to wait to get to your ideal size. If it''s 6 additional months, it''s probably worth it. If it''s something like 2 years, however, then you probably want to scale back.

No matter what, it''s going to be gorgeous!

NEL, this would be IT. I don''t really know what my ideal is. And it makes it even harder that it''s a cushion, of which no jewelers have much stock. Maybe you can relate with the ever elusive asscher!

There just aren''t that many around! And in different sizes!!!

As far as timing, 6 months extra is 6 months too long for me.

I was hoping to get this thing going by September? Maybe?

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/2/2008 2:27:59 PM
Author: star sparkle

Date: 5/2/2008 2:15:42 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 5/2/2008 2:11:26 PM

Author: star sparkle

I think anywhere in the .5-.7 range would be really lovely! Especially with a halo! The first rings I tried on were around .75 and I thought they looked huge.

Then what is wrong with me?!?! Haha...

Aww, nothing is wrong with you! I think you just have to put it into perspective. For example, on PS, my .82ct is on the smaller side of the scale. However, in real life, my .82ct looks much larger than what women out on the street have. In the real world, people probably see my ring and think that it's really large!

Very true. I think I'll just have to go shopping without my glasses on and try on princesses in the size I want. Maybe the blurriness will make it look cushiony?

 

[cutiegirl84]

SunnyD,

I would wait. especially since "no upgrade". I don''t plan on upgrading my stone either, and I want to be happy with the first one I get, so I would rather wait a little longer than have something I''m not happy with forever.

 

[gwendolyn]

I think I would probably wait too. I wouldn''t want to look down at my ring and have mixed feelings about it, you know? I''m a no-upgrade kind of chick, so the ring I get I want to be THE ring.

 

[KCCutie]

Is your SO against buying online? It could be that buying on-line you could get the best of both worlds. There would certainly be more selection and I''m sure the experts around here could help you find a cushion that you both just love that would fit both your budget and your time frame. Just a thought.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Hmm, if you can''t upgrade, then wait. We looked at a few different sizes and I ended up going with the .70 over the .98. Believe it or not I actually liked the .70 more. HOWEVER! I insist on upgrading on an anniversary 5th or something like that. So if I had not been able to upgrade, then I would have went with something bigger (would have kept looking). In other words, if you can''t upgrade make sure you get what you want. But make sure it''s what you really want. I fell in

with the smaller stone because the clarity and color were better.

 

[musey]

I had a similar thread about this back in 2006, if you're interested in reading

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/modest-ring-now-or-the-ring-later.52205/

My feeling is that I wanted a forever setting, but wasn't attached to the center stone itself. I would've been happy getting the setting of my dreams with a 'placeholder' stone (gemstone, synthetic, etc.) in order to have it earlier, though we didn't end up needing to do that because we got lucky with my stone.

I knew that I really liked 1.5ct-ish stones when we were looking, but (don't tell the PS gods) now that I've been wearing a 2ct for a little over a year, I don't think I'd mind at all having a smaller--MUCH smaller, like significantly under a carat--stone.

--I know. Stems from trying on antique illusion (not the kind with the princess stones sitting flush to make it look like one big one, the kind where there's scalloped metal around the stone) settings with .3-.5ct stones lately, and having my breath taken away.

I had DSS before even getting my ring (in anticipation of it looking 'smaller' than I expected or wanted), and after, and then I took a PS break, and haven't had DSS since. Somewhere along the line it shifted from being about the STONE and then the setting, to being about the entire ring as a design piece.

Hmm. That sounded more helpful and relevant in my head. I think I lost my train of thought...

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

From experience, I wanted a larger stone (between .7-.9) as my center stone, but we got a .51 for the center stone - and I look at it and realize that I would be just as happy with that as a solitare if I didn't have the unique setting and three stone ring. Seriously, sometimes I have to look at it and remind myself what size it is, because it does look larger than it "should" on my size 7 fingers.

I kept thinking I'd have DSS, but mine is opposite. It looks larger to me - but that's not a bad thing, right? And, if you've got a halo around it, I think that size would be great.

And, you could always get a big ol' honker on a special anniversary....

 

[Lauren8211]

I say wait it out. For me personally, the engagement ring I get on the day I get proposed to is the one I want on my finger forever. I don''t want to "upgrade" -- its a symbol representating that one day in time. I don''t want to ever have it leave my hand.

Also, you (hopefully!) only get engaged once. I''d want it to be perfect -- perfect person, perfect ring. Combine that with my desire to never upgrade -- I would definitely wait. You don''t want to stare at that ring thinking "Man I should have waited!"

The surprise of getting that perfect ring on your perfect day will stay with you for the rest of your life!