Smaller ring now, or bigger ring later?

[sunnyd]

Thanks Musey for the link! Seems like everyone is split. I should ask him what he feels. I think it stresses him out to think about it, because he wants to give me what makes me happy, but doesn''t feel comfortable about the amount of money. And I don''t want him to blow everything on it either! There are a lot of other things that money could be used for!

I also feel more attached to the setting, but in order to make the setting I need the stone, since the halo is sort of a custom fit.

Bah! Thanks for all the responses ladies, I appreciate them!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/2/2008 3:25:33 PM
Author: KCCutie
Is your SO against buying online? It could be that buying on-line you could get the best of both worlds. There would certainly be more selection and I''m sure the experts around here could help you find a cushion that you both just love that would fit both your budget and your time frame. Just a thought.

Oh we''re definitely buying online! Those prices for size are my point of reference.

 

[gwendolyn]

Could you get another type of stone, like a white sapphire or whatever, in the approximate size that you'd like your diamond to be eventually, and swap the stone out later on when you have more money? Then you have your dream setting and it's in the right size for the center stone?

 

[KCCutie]

Oh well just had to make sure.

Well personally I would split the difference. Maybe wait another 2-3 months for something a little close to what I wanted. Of course I would be hoping and praying that while I was waiting the perfect stone would surface.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/2/2008 4:54:41 PM
Author: gwendolyn
Could you get another type of stone, like a white sapphire or whatever, in the approximate size that you''d like your diamond to be eventually, and swap the stone out later on when you have more money? Then you have your dream setting and it''s in the right size for the center stone?

I thought about that too, but he wants the ring he presents to be THE ring that I wear forever. And I kinda do too. That''s why this is so frustrating!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/2/2008 5:35:13 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 5/2/2008 4:54:41 PM

Author: gwendolyn

Could you get another type of stone, like a white sapphire or whatever, in the approximate size that you''d like your diamond to be eventually, and swap the stone out later on when you have more money? Then you have your dream setting and it''s in the right size for the center stone?

I thought about that too, but he wants the ring he presents to be THE ring that I wear forever. And I kinda do too. That''s why this is so frustrating!!

I thought maybe since you said you weren''t that attached to the stone itself as part of "the ring," that maybe he felt the same, and would consider it the same ring even if the center stone was swapped. Figured it was worth a try!

 

[star sparkle]

How far down in color are you willing to go? Lots of PSers have amazing J-color stones that are TDF, and it''s a great way to go larger while still staying within budget.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/2/2008 5:46:21 PM
Author: star sparkle
How far down in color are you willing to go? Lots of PSers have amazing J-color stones that are TDF, and it''s a great way to go larger while still staying within budget.

Yeah, I''ve seen some great Js! That''s about what I will be looking for, down to J, down to SI or even I (if it''s not perfectly eye clean I might be able to live with it!) We haven''t started officially looking yet, so maybe it''s out there.

LOL maybe I can convince him to start looking without all the funds...

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/2/2008 5:43:38 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 5/2/2008 5:35:13 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 5/2/2008 4:54:41 PM

Author: gwendolyn

Could you get another type of stone, like a white sapphire or whatever, in the approximate size that you''d like your diamond to be eventually, and swap the stone out later on when you have more money? Then you have your dream setting and it''s in the right size for the center stone?

I thought about that too, but he wants the ring he presents to be THE ring that I wear forever. And I kinda do too. That''s why this is so frustrating!!

I thought maybe since you said you weren''t that attached to the stone itself as part of ''the ring,'' that maybe he felt the same, and would consider it the same ring even if the center stone was swapped. Figured it was worth a try!

I do love contradicting myself...hahaha. Whatever, we''ll make it work! Thanks for the suggestion!

 

[star sparkle]

Date: 5/2/2008 6:23:04 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 5/2/2008 5:46:21 PM

Author: star sparkle

How far down in color are you willing to go? Lots of PSers have amazing J-color stones that are TDF, and it's a great way to go larger while still staying within budget.

Yeah, I've seen some great Js! That's about what I will be looking for, down to J, down to SI or even I (if it's not perfectly eye clean I might be able to live with it!) We haven't started officially looking yet, so maybe it's out there.


LOL maybe I can convince him to start looking without all the funds...

If you know what the budget is, you can start looking now just to see what's out there! Also remember that if you order through GOG, James Allen, or WF you'll get a PS discount, so that'll help too! My WF stone ended up costing about $200 less than the list price.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/2/2008 6:30:05 PM
Author: star sparkle

Date: 5/2/2008 6:23:04 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 5/2/2008 5:46:21 PM

Author: star sparkle

How far down in color are you willing to go? Lots of PSers have amazing J-color stones that are TDF, and it''s a great way to go larger while still staying within budget.

Yeah, I''ve seen some great Js! That''s about what I will be looking for, down to J, down to SI or even I (if it''s not perfectly eye clean I might be able to live with it!) We haven''t started officially looking yet, so maybe it''s out there.


LOL maybe I can convince him to start looking without all the funds...

If you know what the budget is, you can start looking now just to see what''s out there! Also remember that if you order through GOG, James Allen, or WF you''ll get a PS discount, so that''ll help too! My WF stone ended up costing about $200 less than the list price.

GOG might be my place then, does ERD not do a discount? Bummer.

 

[Rhea]

It''s not just about the discount though. Not saying this is true, but for what you want EDR may have a lower price than GOG to begin with so the discount may not actually matter.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/2/2008 7:06:58 PM
Author: Addy
It''s not just about the discount though. Not saying this is true, but for what you want EDR may have a lower price than GOG to begin with so the discount may not actually matter.

Really....hmmmm... good to know, since I think I would be equally comfortable having Jon pick me a stone as Mark.

 

[Octavia]

Okay, so I''m going to be completely un-PS. I think that if you''re both ready to be engaged, you should be engaged, and that a piece of jewelry shouldn''t hold you back. Maybe it''s because I did get a smaller stone -- about half the carat weight I had in my mind -- and the world didn''t end. Do I think my ring is the greatest thing since the wheel was invented? No. But do I look at it every day and think, my FI loves me enough that he wants to spend his life with me, and couldn''t hold it back a second longer? Yes. And would I have accepted if he proposed with the plastic ring from a soda bottle top? Yes.

I completely understand wanting to have a ring that you love, but in the end it''s a piece of jewelry. Ideally, we could all have the best of both worlds, but it doesn''t always work that way. So if it''s more important to you to take this next step ASAP, then a couple tenths of a carat shouldn''t keep you from doing that. And if it''s more important to have that perfect symbol to represent your relationship, then you''ll have to wait.

If you were to flip a coin -- heads an engagement in the very near future, tails your perfect ring -- which side would you secretly be hoping to see?

 

[sunnyd]

Perfect ring. LOL, just kidding. Thanks Octavia, I think that just put me over the edge. Time to get crackin!!!

 

[LaraOnline]

go for the smaller ring now...
...and talk him into the larger ring for your fifth or tenth (yes, I said tenth...okay, if you''re flying, maybe fifth) anniversary
marriage isn''t really about the ring
but rings make it fun!!!
FYI I''m warming my man up .. for my fifth

hahaha
he''s kinda interested, but I sometimes think it would be less embarrassing all round if I waited for my tenth anniversary for the upgrade
Unfortunately, I''m a bit over my original engagement ring now. It''s a .02 (I think) , basically the only one I liked which we could afford at the time! An believe me, I shopped for months, our budget was so small.
If I don''t get it for my fifth (don''t think it''s likely) I''m hoping it comes for my 40th birthday. (which is my eighth anniversary year...)

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 5/2/2008 1:06:33 PM
Author: Bliss
For me, I would get engaged with the smaller ring.

But if you wouldn''t have to wait too long, waiting isn''t a bad idea either.


How much more time are we talking about here? If we''re talking months, I''d say wait. If it was more than a year, I wouldn''t wait!


Besides, I have friends with husbands who said ''no upgrade'' but after kids and a full life, they had noooo problem doing so later. And of course the original e-ring was always treasured.

Actually, what Bliss said. If it only postpones the wedding for a few months, hold out for the larger ring, it adds a lot of enjoyment to your everyday life!

 

[LaraOnline]

don''t worry about what he says about upgrades or none
five or ten years is a long, long way away...
all the best on your impending nuptials!!!

 

[star sparkle]

Upgrades are nice to think about but in sunnyd''s case, I don''t think it''ll work. It''s extremely difficult or near-impossible to put a larger center stone in a halo setting that was made for a smaller stone. Not to make it sound like a bad thing, but halo owners are pretty much "stuck" with whatever size stone they had put in in the first place.

 

[diamondfan]

Who says no upgrades? Well, I say, get the ring now and maybe later on he will be open to an upgrade or a new rhr ring. I would not worry too much. I am fairly certain if I asked my hubby 18 years ago about an upgrade he would have looked at me like I had sprouted two extra heads. Frankly, it never even occurred to ME then. I would not be worrying too much about it now, get the ring you can get now so you can get engaged and let the rest happen naturally. Men do have a funny way of changing their minds and women are good persuaders too!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/3/2008 11:52:09 AM
Author: star sparkle
Upgrades are nice to think about but in sunnyd''s case, I don''t think it''ll work. It''s extremely difficult or near-impossible to put a larger center stone in a halo setting that was made for a smaller stone. Not to make it sound like a bad thing, but halo owners are pretty much ''stuck'' with whatever size stone they had put in in the first place.

Exactly! I''d have to get a whole new setting made, and then what do I do with the old one? My current plan is to go see half carats in whatever shape, then go from there. Oh, and talk to SO too.

 

[star sparkle]

You can also just shoot John at GOG or Mark at ERD an email and tell them what your budget is and see what they can find for you. They''ve been known to produce some steals on amazing cushions for other PSers, and you might end up with something larger than what you anticipated.

 

[dogmama]

Date: 5/2/2008 4:52:05 PM
Author: sunnyd
Thanks Musey for the link! Seems like everyone is split. I should ask him what he feels. I think it stresses him out to think about it, because he wants to give me what makes me happy, but doesn''t feel comfortable about the amount of money. And I don''t want him to blow everything on it either! There are a lot of other things that money could be used for!

I also feel more attached to the setting, but in order to make the setting I need the stone, since the halo is sort of a custom fit.

Bah! Thanks for all the responses ladies, I appreciate them!

Hey sunnyd,
I was in the same position. If I had waited till August I would have be able to get ring that was what I had originally wanted, a larger carat and a 3 stone. But I found a stone I was very happy with despite the smaller size and bought a solitaire instead because I was more interested in being engaged. It was a tough decision. Like you, my fiance was adamant about no upgrades, so I knew I had to make sure I''d be happy with what I helped to pick out!

We picked out the perfect setting and three weeks later found out something was wrong with it. SO I had to pick out a new one that is similar but not the same. I was very emotionally attached to it. Yet, I''m rolling with the punches. While you may be very sure about your setting you don''t know what could happen that you might have to change it.

My advice would be to pick something out you like right now if you truly want to be engaged. Be honest with yourself and make sure you''ll love it a gazillion years from now. I really looked at my ring and loved it despite what I had originally wanted. I didn''t feel like I was sacrificing or giving anything up. I did exactly that and am very happy with my decision. The extra money we saved by bypassing the 3 stone ring will be put towards the wedding. Our new setting is less expensive and we''re putting the balance from the old one towards bands.

However, this doesn''t mean I haven''t tried to wear my fiance down about upgrades! ^_^ LOL! He told me he won''t mind getting me an upgrade for our 20 year anniversary.

So there you have it! They say they won''t but now he says he will...I''ll just have to wait awhile. Fine by me! Until then, I have a ring I already love, so just make sure that you''re happy with it. If you find you really can''t settle on something now, just wait.

 

[LaraOnline]

Hey Sunnyd! I''m kinda feeling for you, and I''m really wonderng what your final outcome is.
I''m kind of hoping you get exactly what you want. Going with a company with an upgrade policy might make good sense for you. Of course, you do pay a premium for an upgradeable diamond, but you might be glad of the policy further down the road...
I am absolutely desperate for my upgrade now

but our business is not going as well as it should, so it might not be happening.
For AGES - if ever...
although I *know* (from reading pricescope posts!

) that girls with really glamourous rings also get bored and hanker for a change...

 

[sunnyd]

Okay, so here's a small update: I showed him this thread and told him about the predicament I was feeling, and he gave me a number he thought he would be comfortable with. And it's about what I expected it to be, so no surprise there. But we're going shopping on Wednesday with the intent of trying a lot more things on than we did the last time. Oh, and nothing over 1ct if we can help it!

So, yay!