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SO and Wedding Band

Glitz

Glitz

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
292
I've noticed many of you have an SO that doesn't wear much or any jewellery. Only recently my SO started wearing a watch, and that's not even considered jewellery in my book. When we went to look at rings, he wondered over to the men's section and asked if he had to wear a ring! His family is very untraditional, his mom and dad both don't wear any rings, where as my mom and dad both wear their rings, my mom actually has 4 on her ring finger. The first one was from my dad as a promise ring, the next was an engagement ring, then her wedding band, and a few years ago on their anniversary he got her a very blingy ring to make up for the smaller ones he had to give her when they were first starting out.

For me I think the rings are a very important and sentimental part of the marriage, even if it's just a gold band ...it represents something so much greater. SO thinks I'm crazy for asking that he wear his wedding band everyday after the wedding. Am I carzy? :sick: Do you have an SO that thinks it's ok to not wear a wedding band ... is that ok to you?
 
My SO is going to wear a band when we're married and thats that! He also doesn't wear any jewelry, though I did get him a watch 2 years ago, and subsequently several others, since he LOVES them (thank god!). I don't know, I would just feel odd to wear mine (which I'm always going to do!) and not have him wear his.
 
I've never understood the "you have to wear your wedding band" mentality. I wear a wedding band maybe once a month? I'm just more comfortable going ringless. It doesn't make me any less married or committed. And I love my e-ring and wedding band, they are both sentimental to me, I just don't need to display them every day. If my husband insisted I wear my wedding band every day, I'd feel he was controlling.
 
I guess I'm lucky. SO can't wait to wear a wedding band. Like I seriously think he's more excited than I am, and that's pretty hard to top.

I have no intention of taking off my engagement ring nor my wedding band, with the exception of work necessity, but someone made a wonderful post that shows a necklace from Tiffany's & Co. that has a clippy thing that she puts her rings on while wearing gloves. : )

I wear an intricate filigree band now under gloves all the time and have never had a problem so my wedding band will probably always stay on.
 
My SO doesn't really like jewelry, either (he wears a watch sometimes, but that's it), but he and I have already talked about our wedding bands, and I know that he will wear his. Of course, I will always wear mine as well.

My parents actually don't wear their wedding bands. My mom's finger grew since they got married, so she now wears a silver ring on her ring finger. It has a design on it and does not look like a traditional band, though. My dad works with horses a lot, so it's probably not a good idea for him to wear one while doing that, and he's not a jewelry fan at all.
 
My SO is the same way! He never wears any jewelry, not even a watch. Though he has expressed interest in getting a watch, he is almost dreading wearing his wedding ring. He is super afraid that it is going to be uncomfortable or weird feeling. I told him he will probably only notice it being there sometimes and soon he will get very used to it and not even notice it anymore. He just wants a plain gold band and I will be pushing him toward a comfort fit band to make it more comfortable for him. But, trust me...he WILL wear it :Up_to_something:
 
My dad never wore a wedding band, so I didn't realize men did until I was in high school.

I just asked SO if he plans on wearing a wedding band. His response? "No clue, haven't thought about it." My guess is he will, because all his friends do, but I don't think it matters too much. He's definitely not a jewelry guy.
 
I like the transparency of having a wedding ring, everyone knows you're committed. That being said though, if SO tried wearing a ring and truly didn't like it for a comfort reason, I'd accept that. I would never want him to force me to do something I didn't like and I like to treat him the same way.
 
FI will wear a wedding ring after the wedding. He is NOT a jewelry person at all but thinks w-bands should be worn when possible. He's got an infection that is being treated so his hands swell. I got him a gold band to wear to get used to the idea -- it was comfortable to try on but then he found it "uncomfortable" as his hands swelled and shrunk during the day.

So...
I may have to buy every last ring out there but I WILL find a ring he is comfortable wearing and he WILL wear it.
 
Callisto said:
I like the transparency of having a wedding ring, everyone knows you're committed. That being said though, if SO tried wearing a ring and truly didn't like it for a comfort reason, I'd accept that. I would never want him to force me to do something I didn't like and I like to treat him the same way.
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Totally true. I wouldn't want to force him, and like you said, if he tried and truly didn't like it, it would be different. Wearing jewelry/rings/watches does take some getting used to, but now I feel so *weird* if I forget to put a ring or something on in the morning. When it gets to that point, I'm planning on getting him a comfort-fit band, possibly with a brushed metal finish, and I'm assuming he'd get used to it in a couple of months :)
 
Thanks for all the responses, I don't feel as crazy anymore. I know SO will wear his wedding band and give it a shot, and I'm hoping that it just becomes a part of him. I told him that my eternity RHR's have just become a part of my body since I never take them off for anything. He'll be picking out his own band to his own taste and comfort, although him and the jeweller think I should get him an antique Rolex they have at the store ... could you imagine "I now present you with this Rolex, as a sign of my love a fidelity" :lol: He also thinks a signet ring would be the coolest thing ever, he wants to feel like royalty and have his own crest made ... something I might do as a surprise wedding gift!
 
SO wants to wear his wedding band, and has gone so far as to say that he thinks it's odd that women wear their e-rings to show they are engaged, but men do not wear a ring until marriage. He doesn't think that is equal (meaning that there should be transparency in declaring the man just as 'taken' as the woman wearing a honking diamond). I found that very interesting, as my SO also does not wear jewelry.
 
I know BF will wear a wedding bands because I know he wants to. He really likes the symbolism of rings and he does wear a bit of jewellery on occasion.

It wouldn't matter much to me if he wore it or not, but I guess I do like that he wants to wear it.



The challange will be getting him to just choose somthing he likes and let me choose what I like, he wants our rings to match but I want a thin sparkly ring and ....he dosn't.
 
My FF will wear a ring, he will get used to it. I might get him a thinner one than usual (say 5mm) and it will have to fit him well, because he gets claustrophobic that rings will not come off his finger. I would like it to have some bling in it too. All of the men I work with are married and they *all* wear their rings and I think that’s awesome. It would honestly hurt my feelings alot if he didn’t want to wear one, I am not being controlling it really would hurt my feelings.

My dad didn’t wear a wedding ring. But he turned out to be gay, unable to admit it until the kids grew up. So there might have been a reason behind that. My mum always wore hers.
 
My FF wears his promise ring EVERY day..for the last 3+ years.
Which is funny, because it was my idea to wear promise rings to begin with. 8)

I begged him for the Cartier Love Ring as a promise ring and he gets upset that I don't even wear it. He got the knock off version and wears his every day. He said I better not be this way with my ER and my wedding band, he wants me to wear them both every single day :errrr:

I can see where your FI is coming from not wanting to wear his band everyday, because there are days where I just don't feel like wearing my promise ring and I believe I will be the same way with my ER and wedding band, even if my FF feels the need to wear his everyday.

IF comfort is the reason, as I'm sure you know, there are bands that have the comfort fit. I'm told you can barely feel you have the ring on. :bigsmile:
 
I just quickly re read your post and realized that you're saying that he may not want to wear a wedding band at all.

I can see taking a day off here and there, no biggie. But I'm not so sure about not wearing a wedding band at all. I personally would be a little annoyed if my husband decided that he would never wear a wedding band. :?
 
Furtunately my FF wants to wear his wedding band 24/7. He even wants to get it before the wedding, so as soon as I get my e-ring I'll give him his wedding band. I figured I would just get it polished before the wedding day. It would really bother me if my FF didn't want to wear his ring. I would understand if he couldn't wear it because of his type of work (for the time he was doing his job/at work) or doing dishes, etc. But other than that I would think something was going on if someone I knew told me their fiance/husband didn't want to wear his w-band. Just my opinion.

I guess since his parents didn't either he doesn't see it as a big deal to wear it. Express your feeling, tell him how important it is to you and see how that goes. Good luck.
 
My FI is not into jewelery...he doesn't like the way rings look on guys...and his father never did and still doesn't wear his wedding band. I was upset when he said he would get one but hardly ever wear it, but it doenst really matter. It's the commitment and love that matters, wearing the ring doesn't take away from that. We have been together FOREVER and he is faithful and I completely trust him. No reason to force him to do something he doesn't particularly want/like to do.
 
My husband never wore jewelry. Nothing. Not even a watch. He was dreading wearing a ring.

Just the other day we were going to dinner, and he took off his ring to put lotion on. And left it in the bathroom. We got about 5 minutes from the house, and he freaked out. Wanted to go back home for it.

He has said that he would feel weird if I didn't wear a ring on my left ring finger. Doesn't matter what ring it is, just so long as I'm wearing a ring.

I really take off my rings only when I have to cook or do some kind of housework. And I'll forget to put them back on. Eh well. :tongue:
 
My husband only wears his ring when we're getting dressed up. He is in a profession where he can't wear it everyday, and when we're just going around the house or to a picnic he scared of it getting hurt. It was a very expensive custom ring that he designed, so he is protective of it.

It doesn't bother me and I love seeing him have it on when we're going out, so its not a big deal if he doesn't wear it in normal day to day.
 
My SO does not wear jewelery so he doesn't want to wear a WB. He thinks it will feel uncomfortable. He also tends to fidget with things and he thinks one day he might take it off to fidget with it and end up losing it anyway. I told him as a compromise that I'd like for him to wear it 30 days after the ceremony. If it stil feels uncomfortable by then, he can stop wearing it, but I honestly think by then he won't even notice it. As for losing it, he's on his own there!

As a joke I'm planning to inscribe, "Resistance is Futile: Put the Damn Ring Back On!" (He's a Star Trek fan.)
 
I went to a work-related event with my FF last night, and I was shocked to see how many of the married men were not wearing wedding rings. These were not men that he usually works with (his company is working with other people to launch something new), but it just shocked me in general. Maybe it is more common than I thought, and I know that my dad doesn't wear his, but I would be upset if my FF didn't want to.
 
DH wears a watch, but had never worn other jewelry. He was nervous about wearing a wedding band and asked if he "had to", but I said I really preferred if he did and asked him to at least try it. Like I knew he would, he's gotten used to it and feels strange without it. He really likes his band, which helps.

I also think once we were actually married he was so excited to show off his married status that he really wanted to wear his ring around. After wearing it for a few months he was so used to it that there was no point in taking it off again.
 
I think it's really common for guys (and girls actually) not to wear their rings, especially if they're just hanging out at home. My husband doesn't wear his band unless he's going out and I'm okay with it. If he chose not to wear it at all, I don't think I'd be really bothered by it.

I think some people just aren't into wearing jewelry and maybe they don't see it in the same sentimental way that others do.
 
My fiancee's parents do not wear their wedding rings and his mother stopped wearing her engagement ring 20+ years ago. He said he plans to wear his wedding band, I'm even getting him a second wedding ring for his wedding gift because when I showed him lots of them to pick from he was torn between two, liking one better (a titanium with hard wood inlay) but thinking it not really a good choice for his career (attorney) so he opted for the wire brush white gold ring. I figure getting him the one that made him say "holy sh*t that is awesome" to wear when he isn't at work will really up his chances of WANTING to wear his ring!

My parents on the other hand, have always worn their wedding bands, I have never seen either without except for a few days when my dad was having his re-sized maybe 10 yrs ago and I can't seem to remember to put my ering on! Half the days I'm halfway to work feeling like I forgot something when I realize it's my ring. I'm hopeful it will be different with my wedding band and I won't need to take it off at night. My ering has claw prongs and when I used to wear it to bed I would wake up with scratches all over me. :errrr:
 
BF is not comfortable at all with wearing a wedding ring. I agreed he didn't have to wear one if he didn't want to. We'll get a cheap-ish ceremonial ring for the ceremony. He'll never wear it again and I'm okay with that.

I trust any hussy who approaches my married man will be met with as much resistance as if he had a ring on. BF is obviously not ashamed to be married to me, and ring or no ring, he is not less commited to me.... If it makes him that uncomfortable to put it on, I'd rather he'd be comfortable than have a constant reminder on his finger of how his wife forced him to wear this itchy thing. haha.
 
TooPatient said:
FI will wear a wedding ring after the wedding. He is NOT a jewelry person at all but thinks w-bands should be worn when possible. He's got an infection that is being treated so his hands swell. I got him a gold band to wear to get used to the idea -- it was comfortable to try on but then he found it "uncomfortable" as his hands swelled and shrunk during the day.

So...
I may have to buy every last ring out there but I WILL find a ring he is comfortable wearing and he WILL wear it.
Click to expand...

TooPatient - ok, I am brain storming here. Perhaps if you sized the ring a bit larger than the maximum size his finger swells to and add sizing balls (I was thinking of 4 balls equally spaced would be both attractive and confortable, as well as maximizing the size difference possible) to hold it on his finger when it isn't swollen? I don't think the balls would be uncomfortable, as they would give the finger room to swell without squeezing it so much.

Back to the topic - I agree with Iota! If someone were to approach my (hypothetical) husband because he isn't wearing a ring, she will be told he isn't available (nicely, since it was just a mistake). If she insists, then the ring would probably have made no difference in the first place.
 
My husbo has never worn jewellery ever but loves his wedding ring - plays with it all the time and when he first got it on his finger, he was all excited about it :lol: That said, his brother (my BIL) doesn't wear one. His excuse is that he couldn't find one he liked, although I don't know how hard he looked...my SIL wears rings and in the ceremony, they just did a one-way ring exchange (ie. he put hers on her, she didn't put one on him). I think it's a little unusual - makes you think, "WHY doesn't he want to wear one?" but I guess as with everything else, it's horses for courses and as long as both parties are content I think it's fine.

My FIL doesn't wear one either - his fell off in the surf years ago and he's never replaced it. Maybe ringlessness runs in my husband's family!
 
My husband wears one. When we were engaged (16 years ago) he was worried that it would feel funny--all he's ever worn is a watch. But we got him a comfort fit one 6mm wide (he has long fingers and big hands) and after a few weeks he "feels naked without it". He doesn't wear it to sleep though. I think having SO try comfort fit bands that are not too wide may convince him. Otherwise I wouldn't worry about it.

When my wedding set fell apart, I went for months without a ring until we got a platinum band, and no one questioned that we were married!
 
First off, let me say that forcing a man to wear a wedding ring to "show" he is married to others doesnt make sense to me, because there are PLENTY of married men that just take their rings off when they are trying to be shady. So a scumbag with do scumbag things whether he wears a wedding ring or not. Or as my one sleazy boss once told me, it actually "helps" pick up ladies who want no strings attached casual sex, and a married man is the perfect scenario. I agree with IOTA, that whether my husband has a ring on or not, anyone hitting on him will be turned down, just as they were when we were dating, before he hand a ring on.

Anyways, sorry didnt mean to be a downer. lol. I personally HATE jewelery on men. I need my men to be super masculine, and stuff like necklaces, bracelets, rings, etc on men turn me off. Like when men get diamonds in their bands, not into it. A man in a wedding ring is even a stretch for me. HAHA So I may be the wrong person to comment. Anyways, our scenario is.....my husband hates the feeling of jewelry, even watches. Its uncomfortable to him. If he wanted to wear it, I would be ok with it, because I do like the sentiment behind it, but if he doesnt its ok. It doesn't make us less married. Plus he owns an electrical contracting company and could actually die wearing his wedding ring while working (metal=shock). So basically our scenario iss don't wear it to work, or around the house, but situations where we dress up, or are at family functions, etc, he wears it.
 
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