So I thought I was over diamond jealousy...

[pearcrazy]

Date: 10/26/2005 5:46:45 PM
Author: Odilia
pearcrazy, thanks for the answer on that thread. I am disappointed! I saw it once and didn''t have time to go thru it, but I loved seeing some of those beautiful fakes, but now I guess I''ll never get to go thru it. Oh well.....
.

I''m bummed too. I just got my two carat pear shaped fakey mc fakerton the other day and was dying to show it off in that thread.

 

[Mara]

thank god greg knew that i was a diamond nut before he married me because i don't know if he would indulge me as much as he does (which is not that often but just enough to keep me sane!) if i had come upon the obsession AFTER we were married. he gets that i love the sparkly colorless (near colorless!) carbon rocks, but isn't sure why. i just point to his thousands of $$'s he spends on his cars and instruments etc and he smiles weakly. we have our compromise.

 

[koko]

My husband also makes a very good salary (high $100,000''s) but saw fit to spend $5,000.00 on my 25th anniversary upgrade. My 1.15 carat EC is probably average for this area (Atlanta). I think my perfect size would be 1.50, but I could not see spending over $10,000.00 on a wedding set. I guess I''m also practical, but not as much as my husband! He also said he felt "comfortable" with spending around $5,000.00 and I don''t think he even believes in upgrades, also for sentimental reasons. He only did it because he knew what it meant to me.....I don''t think it''s love as much as thoughtfulness that makes them go out & buy something they think of as totally frivolous!! Anyway, I''d wear my original rings with pride if I were you. They were bought with love.....and what ever happened to the days when it was considered in poor taste to wear huge diamonds if you were under the age of 60?? I truly think they can get to a "tacky" size. I find a good quality diamond between 1 & 2 carats to be the most tasteful, unless you''re of a "certain age." I''m sure your rings are lovely.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Ursula,

I totally know how you feel about diamond jealousy and sentimental husbands! I know my .78ct is much more modest than yours and I live in DC, perhaps not home of the ice skating rink diamonds like NYC is, but I''ve seen some here that can definitely hold their own. My situation is a little different from yours in that my e-ring was already pushing the budget for my husband, so it''s not like he had a lot of money. I think he probably just doesn''t see the value in diamonds like we PS-obsessed people do, just as I''m sure there is something that he really likes that you don''t understand the affinity for. It''s not like a diamond can feed you or house you- it''s totally a luxury item.

As for the sentimentality, my husband has definitely said no upgrades. He feels the same about his 14kt single milgrain yellow gold wedding ring- he doesn''t ever want to change it, etc. While I don''t share the sentimentalism 100%, I do respect his feelings on that. He''s said that more diamonds will come in the future but the ering is staying the same. I know if begged him, he would give in. But deep down I know it would bother him and to me, an upgrade isn''t worth the hurt and resentful feelings it would certainly cause. I know I''m probably in the minority in my thinking that if your spouse is totally against an upgrade for sentimental reasons, then you should let it go. But again, that''s just my opinion and I know others will certainly disagree!

Can you indulge in a right hand ring or other pieces like others have suggested? We totally co-mingle our salaries and we each get to set aside a certain amount to do what we please with. Mine goes towards jewelry, and I''ve been able to get a custom ring from Whiteflash, studs, a pendant, and a Signed Pieces eternity ring, and he knows I''m saving for an asscher ring now.

Now I''ll admit that I''m totally jealous that you have a kick-ass apt in NY and take awesome vacations! If I had a choice between a $20,000 diamond or a $20,000 dream vacation to New Zealand, I''d choose the trip in a heartbeat!

 

[ursulawrite]

Date: 10/26/2005 8:15:55 PM
Author: koko
My husband also makes a very good salary (high $100,000''s) but saw fit to spend $5,000.00 on my 25th anniversary upgrade. My 1.15 carat EC is probably average for this area (Atlanta). I think my perfect size would be 1.50, but I could not see spending over $10,000.00 on a wedding set. I guess I''m also practical, but not as much as my husband! He also said he felt ''comfortable'' with spending around $5,000.00 and I don''t think he even believes in upgrades, also for sentimental reasons. He only did it because he knew what it meant to me.....I don''t think it''s love as much as thoughtfulness that makes them go out & buy something they think of as totally frivolous!! Anyway, I''d wear my original rings with pride if I were you. They were bought with love.....and what ever happened to the days when it was considered in poor taste to wear huge diamonds if you were under the age of 60?? I truly think they can get to a ''tacky'' size. I find a good quality diamond between 1 & 2 carats to be the most tasteful, unless you''re of a ''certain age.'' I''m sure your rings are lovely.

Your post made me smile.

My husband comes from a certain CT town where the lawns are extra lush and the corduroys extra red/purple/yellow -- you know the type. Anyway, his friends who don''t live in NYC -- the ones who grew up in this CT town -- bought very modest e-rings, say, .75 carats. These are people with trust funds and such who abhor obvious shows of new wealth, and everything is about modesty and understatement. Guess my husband is similar in many respects.

And then there are his "other" friends -- the ones raking in half a million and like to shout it from the rooftops. They''re great people, don''t get me wrong, but a billion miles from the understatement of said CT town.

But back to diamonds...

 

[larussel03]

I know what you mean about the jealousy thing.

Except I have "I have no diamond" jealousy.

What kills me is that I know of this couple who the guy proposed to the girl, neither of them had money, BUT his grandmother left him 3 BEAUTIFUL diamonds to set someday as an engagement ring. I just get sad b/c my bf and I were and have been together soooo much longer and can''t afford one.

 

[Dancing Fire]

my wife is the weird one.

she wears her 1.15 ct everyday instead of a 3.34ct.

waste my money.

 

[MissAva]

Date: 10/26/2005 11:07:00 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
my wife is the weird one.

she wears her 1.15 ct everyday instead of a 3.34ct.

waste my money.

Send it my way.

Actually I see where you wife is coming from. Sometimes here on PS I get the whole bigger is better fever. But when I go out and see things I am not really drawn to larger stones. They are fun for a minute but they just dont suit my lifestyle. I am in a good place in my life but sometimes things can be a bit much and not everyone likes to draw attention to themselves. She is wearing a ring from you daily, that is enough.

 

[portoar]

I think you should be happy with what you have . . . there are always others (like me) who have less. We make a good income, and aren''t hurting. For my wedding, I got a gold band -- my husband believes that diamonds -- even the maul diamonds -- are worthless rip-offs and they have no real value. So he is never, ever, going to buy me a diamond. Finally, I inherited some money, which is all my own, and spending it is the only way I''m ever going to get my diamonds -- and even then, I won''t have even a $5,000 budget. So I''m hanging out here learning about diamonds and shopping, just to buy some diamond earrings that will total less than 1 carat . . . and that''s all I''m ever likely to get. But they are going to be so fabulous that I won''t mind . . .

 

[lmurden]

I hear you. My situation was a little different but still similar. When my fiancé bought my ring he ordered it the day he was leaving for Iraq so there was no way I could tell him that 3/4 carat wouldn't do. However; when he came back, I explained to him that I wanted a matching diamond wedding set at the very least and to maximize my center stone with a halo. Once he saw what I wanted and we got a reasonable quote from Quest Jewelers he was very happy to reset my diamond. In the end, I am very lucky to have Marty. Also, I still have the original diamond that is very sentimental to us both plus many new tiny diamonds that not only complete my ring but also gives me a substantial setting that looks like a million bucks for much less.

Don't worry! You have ever right to feel the way you do. I think you should have a heart to heart with your husband and tell him that you want to upgrade and reset your original diamond ring in a pendant that way you'll have a new diamond ring and be able to hang onto your original diamond and everyone should be happy. If he won't go for that, then follow Mara's suggestion. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Good luck!

 

[allycat0303]

I''m a bit confused about 19/20 year old''s that have finace''s that can buy then 2-3 carat rings??? I mean WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE DO FOR A LIVING????

ursulawrite: I''m sorry that you feel that you then fiance scrimped on your ring. (They''re beautiful by the way). I look at my ring and sometimes think it''s a *tad small* but for me I think about all the years he saved up for it (while we were very young and still in school) and that gives me a good feeling. I suppose that is the feeling that you are missing, that he made a real effort to please you. I think talkng about it to your man is the only way to deal with it, explain the sentiment behind it. If he understands how you feel now, then he can make it up to you on an anniversary

 

[elepri]

Ursula,
I really can relate to the diamond envy. I hardly ever get it as I live in Brooklyn, work downtown, and my stone is decent size around here and anything bigger would be considered very uncool anyway. Still, hanging out uptown, really makes my stone shrink and gives me that occasional pang of jealousy. My husband too makes a very decent salary. He''ll be the first one to acknowledge that most women he works with spot much bigger rocks. Like your husband, he''s happy to spend money on other things, such as travel, designer furniture, and even clothes. Yet when it comes to diamonds, he just thinks that big stones are tacky. To him, it''s a very showy thing, something that from a completely different culture that he just cannot relate to. He''d never buy me a huge rock just as he would never get himself a diamond encrusted rolex or anything else really with diamonds because it''s just not thim. Ultimately, I agree it''s not his money or your money, and it''s a decision that you guys have to make together and if a big stone is what''s going to make you happy, perhaps that''s something you can simply get for yourself at some point (or get a stimulant for now). But I think the fact that he doesn''t see buying a big stone as a romantic gesture doesn''t in any way reflect on his feelings about you, only on his feelings about big stones.