So, I took myself to David''s Bridal today, and......

[blueroses]

Thanks VRBeauty!

I really, REALLY appreciate all of the advice. I am just scratching the surface here, but i know I don't want to spend too much time. (Or money--we are doing BUDG-ET!)

I may just love BOTH the dem dress and the DB v-neck dress. What struck me about the v-neck was that it reminded me of my e-ring-to-be.....sleek and elegant, slightly vintage-y but simple?

To his credit, my wonderful BF has not asked me not to wear the dem dress, trusts what i love and feel pretty/stylish in, and is cool either way. But does admit that a "very small" part of him would be pleased if I wore something else. He would never have brought it up.

So the issues are:
1) Looks! (both fab)
2) Shoes (more limited with dem, but could still be a hot solid color like blue, red, silver)
3) Baggage (the fact that I pictured him with me today in the dress, thought about how he'll love the back of it, etc....and NEVER thought that about the ex with the dress. But it was still bought, ostensibly, to marry him.
4) LACE: I have a) sister's belgian lace floor length veil OR b) Mom's lace mantilla which matches c) Mom's lace bertha collar which could become shrug/cardi, etc...(as long as it were fitted and super cute. I love its buttons in the back.)
5) COST. I don't want to lose money here, and the Demetrios dress is 05/06. Dunno what I could make from it.

Front/Back, etc comparison soon.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YO

to all of you! (and ilovesparkles, I'm psyched we will be doing this together too!!)

Have to dash: it's date night and I'm taking him mini-golfing. Aw yeah.

(p.s. are those shoes remotely freke-worthy?)

 

[blueroses]

Kinda blue-roses. Blue hibiscus?

 

[Allison D.]

Ok......

#1: You HAVE to get those shoes. I''m serious.....they''re PERFECT. Your something blue AND they scream you.

#2: Sorry to muddy the waters more, but I think the DB cap sleeve dress is the perfect shape for you. Love it; VERY flattering on you, and I think it flatters you even more than the orig dress. Is there a way to resolve the beading thing? i.e. find a similar shape without the beading?

#3: My dear, you''re only gonna get married once, and you waited forever for the *right* guy. You deserve the right dress.....picked with your sweetie in mind. Leave the bad juju dress behind. There are going to be things throughout your life that it makes sense to be ''sensible and frugal'' on. This isn''t one of them, so I''d vote not to recycle the former dress.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Okay, well, I have to say that I adore the Demetrio''s dress on you! It is elegant, fits beautifully, and I think the color is great on you (and will be even better when you have on make-up for the wedding)! Only you and your FF can say whether using that dress is a problem. But it is paid for and ready to be worn, so that is a huge plus. But I wouldn''t like it at all with blue floral shoes!

I love the first DB dress, too! My daughter''s college roommate is getting married in August and that is her dress, except she got it in ivory. I think it would be beautiful. I wish she''d just sell it to my daughter after the wedding because I think it would look great on her, too!

The problem with using your mom''s lace is going to mean you''re going to have to get a rather plain dress. I personally would rather have a grogeous dress, and I just didn''t think any of the others really were..if you want an honest opinion.

 

[E B]

Date: 6/5/2009 10:13:22 PM
Author: Allison D.

#3: My dear, you're only gonna get married once, and you waited forever for the *right* guy. You deserve the right dress.....picked with your sweetie in mind. Leave the bad juju dress behind. There are going to be things throughout your life that it makes sense to be 'sensible and frugal' on. This isn't one of them, so I'd vote not to recycle the former dress.

I absolutely agree with this. As beautiful as the Demetrios dress is, I'd put it on eBay and start fresh.

As for the DB gowns, I can't make a call either way without full length photos, but I do like the neckline of the cap sleeved gown on you.

ETA: If you're trying to stick to a budget, don't forget about full-length bridesmaid gowns! Even the nicest ones won't run you more than say, $300-$400 and many come in ivory.

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 6/5/2009 8:30:22 PM
Author: brightlight
I have to say that I much prefer the David''s Bridal dress. I think the white would really pop against your skin while the champagne color of your old dress sort of blends into your skin.

Ditto this. While your original dress is beautiful, I just don''t think it looks right with your skin color. But my opinion could be changed if I saw it with the make-up and everything else.


I like the capped-sleeve dress and the one that you like the best. Very beautiful dresses!

 

[allycat0303]

New man. New dress. New shoes.

 

[jstarfireb]

The cap-sleeved dress and the halter are both pretty, but I''m not a fan of lace, so I wouldn''t choose those. I also agree that it would be lace overkill with what you''re trying to do. I LOVE the V-neck from David''s and might have chosen it for myself if it had come out earlier! Between that and the Demetrios, it''s a tough call. Personally, I''d stick with the old one to save the money...but I''m much more of a practical type than a sentimental one, so I wouldn''t feel any weirdness about wearing the old one.

 

[katamari]

Date: 6/6/2009 6:28:03 AM
Author: allycat0303
New man. New dress. New shoes.

Couldn''t have said it better!

 

[indypitty]

This was my dress, but in ivory. It was perfect for my destination wedding in Mexico and was only $400!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 6/6/2009 5:36:04 PM
Author: indypitty
This was my dress, but in ivory. It was perfect for my destination wedding in Mexico and was only $400!

Which one?

 

[indypitty]

Date: 6/5/2009 8:31:12 PM
Author: blueroses
Then tried on a poofy dress that I thought was way not me, but actually quite nice. Still not me, but pretty. I look egrigious in white.

Oops... Sorry, this one. I tried on the lacy beaded one, too. It was very pretty but soooo heavy.

I love your Demetrios dress, but I agree you should go with a new one!

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 6/5/2009 9:52:34 PM
Author: blueroses
Kinda blue-roses. Blue hibiscus?

BR, PLEASE BUY THOSE!!!!!!!! You can totally rock them, and they''re super appropriate for you! Surely you can find them for less?

I love the V Neck dress on you - it makes your figure look uber hot!

 

[LollyBear]

BR - The Demetrios is beautiful and you look gorgeous in it; however, I''m ALL for getting something new. Even though you don''t associate the old dress with you ex, I think there is a real risk that you or FI will regret using it and that''s definitely enough to warrant a new one. Besides searching for a dress is such a great wedding memory and you don''t want to miss out on.
As for your DB pic, you look FABULOUS in it! I would just caution you to take you Mom''s dress back to the store to make sure the lace looks good with the embroidery.

btw, Is selling the Dem requisite to buying a new dress? I''d totally do a TTD session in it if not.

 

[blueroses]

THANK YOU so much to Alj, Diamondseeker, EBree, luckystar, ally, jstarfire, katamari, indypitty, lauren and stephensbride!!!


Even though I''m getting such a wide variety of opinions, this is just what I wanted: it''s really great to have the feedback.

I had dinner with a good friend tonight and showed her the pics in the catalogue (they''re much more detailed/closer up than online.) She also liked the same two: the Vneck with small bead/embroidery, and the lace capsleeve. She leaned towards the former after seeing the cell-phone pics.

Here''s the thing with those two:
1) The lace dress is twice the price of the vneck, but actually "looks" a little cheaper--something about the lace/beading up close. The shape and style is just dreamy, though. It *is* heavy too--I think indypitty said that?
2) The Vneck is half the price of the lace, but IRL "looks" expensive--the satin looks richer.

That said, I want to see if I can get a sympathetic DB clerk to let me bring my Dem dress in to see all three dresses together. (They let me try on my mom''s dress at the Dem outlet way back when, but I know that''s not very normal...is it? I need to get pictures too, and not just surreptitiously with the phone.)

I also want to look around to see if there is a comparable lace dress that DOESN''T have the beading--just to see. If I went with the lace DB dress, I imagine I''d do the ivory/champagne vs. the solid ivory?

I also want to see Mom''s lace next to the V-neck.

Oh, and stephensbride..... what is TTD?

Selling the first dress isn''t a pre-rec for getting a new one, but it makes sense to do it, I think....

And the Dem. dress isn''t ruled out! I just....want to know all my options. And I know it would make DBF happy. He trusts whatever choice I make, but....I know he''d be pleased.
I adore my FMIL, so I''m going to send her some pics to get her in on the game. It feels so weird to make this big choice without my sweetie''s input!

I REALLY appreciate all the help....you ladies are fabulous! I love all the different perspectives.

(And the shoes...they ARE fierce. Would have to be a solid blue with the old dress, but....yeah. They''re pretty rad.)

 

[ilovesparkles]

BR - Did they tell you that you couldn''t take pics there? I took a ton and there was nothing with it!

 

[blueroses]

ilovesparkles, that''s awesome!! No, they didn''t. I just remember dress-shopping in the past with friends and getting the ix-nay on it. BUT....that was really before cameraphones, so I wonder if they''ve given up.

COOL. I will totally photo it up.

Did you go with a DB dress? Can''t wait for your thread, lady!!

 

[allycat0303]

Hey Blueroses,

There was no mention of those gorgeous shoes? I hope you end up getting them. Reading your posts, it really sounds like you want the v-neck. You''ve written only good things about that while you''ve mentioned both cheap beading and expensive for the other one. I think the v-neck one is beautiful on you. Although somethiing about the cap sleeve picture made me go WOW. Although it could have been the color of the dress which looks a bit champagne on my screen display.
I really, really hope you end up getting a new dress. I think mostly because you deserve it (and my freaking asian superstitious side) but ALSO because it would make your guy happy. And I''m not saying we should cater to our fiance''s whims or anything, but if a guy rarely shows interest/expresses an opinon about what you want you wear, and you can make him happy (reletively painlessly) then I think you could.

ALSO. And I know this might seem a little weird to caucasian brides, but uhmm....if you don''t want to let the original dress go, could you wear both? Make the illusions one your reception dress? Asian''s change dresses a zillion times...I don''t know would that be weird? And when you have your ceremony, fiance could see you in a dress you got for him. You could have your cake and eat it too (so funny, never got that expression. What''s the use of looking at cake??) I digress. Anyways. I can''t wait for you to get engaged.

 

[idreamofcushions]

First of all, blueroses, I am IN LOVE with those shoes! They definitely suit you.

As to the dresses, I love the first one from DB. Using the original dress seems a little funky to me, but if it truly wouldn''t bother you, go for it. That said, I''m not sure if the color flatters you as much as the DB dress. Either way, you are gorgeous and will look beautiful!

Oh and I love that you are going to use a part of your mother''s dress! I can''t believe it''s 40+ years old! She kept it in great condition!

 

[packrat]

Took me forever to read to the bottom of the page-my daughter saw the picture of the shoes so she needed me to scroll back up every few seconds to look at them again..she''s 5!

I think your original dress is really pretty, but it''s fun to look around. (I''d like to leave the kids w/husband and pretend to be newly engaged just so I could go try wedding dresses on again!) But..I love the lace dress w/the cap sleeves! Maybe there''s one w/out the heavy beading?

 

[LadyBlue]

Both dresses look great on you. I would get a new dress anyways, a dress you will chose for your future hubby.

 

[LollyBear]

BR - sorry, TTD = Trash The Dress. I don''t know if you''ve seen any TTD photo shoots, but they are AWESOME!! I actually bought a dress shortly after my wedding (wouldn''t dream of doing it in my real wedding dress) to do one of my own and never got around to it (couldn''t get off my lazy arse). A few PSers have done it and they are some of the most beautiful pictures I''ve seen. sigh

 

[LollyBear]

the thread that put the idea in my head https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/trash-the-dress.67906/
Now I''m thinking I might dig that dress out of storage and see if it still fits.

 

[Kelli]

You look great in everything! I really like the one you already had, but I''d want to new dress too. Tough choice! I''m liking the shoes a lot though!

 

[parrot tulips]

You asked about a comprable lace dress without the beading, so I''m just going to throw mine out there, even though it''s a little different from the DB dresses. It''s the Watters & Watters 1048b with no beading at all. I paid $843 through Pearl''s Place (last December). It''s very light and comfortable and easy to wear. The scallopped edge at the hem is removable, so shortening the dress wasn''t an issue.

 

[princessplease]

BR LOVE the shoes!!!! They''re dreamy!!! The Demetrios dress looks amazing on you, but you I''d def rock a new dress. I''m in complete agreement with allycat. The dress with the beading on the abdomen area is divine!!!!

 

[ms.halo]

Great shoes!

As far as the dresses...I''m torn. I think the 2006 dress looks the most stunning on you of all the dresses you posted. But personally I''d need a new dress for a new man. Perhaps you''re just not yet done looking? I think the dress with JUMP out at you when you find it.

 

[blueroses]

Hi ladies,

I will come back and respond to all the great new comments individually--thank you.

I am now TOTALLY TOTALLY confused.

I was feeling really good about the v-neck the more I thought about it. I had dinner with my friend and she was like, swoon-y over the pic of me in that one, etc.

So...maybe this was a bad idea, I don''t know: I want his input. He can''t know which are in contention, but I wanted his general input, so I tagged several pages of the DB catalogue--like, a lot of them, not just the ones I liked, but quite a few "decoys" to get his feedback about stylistic things in general (A-line vs. slinky, strapless vs. halter, beaded vs. plain, etc.)

I''d thought this would be a good thing.

So: the dresses he responded to were all VERY much like the Demetrios dress I already have.

He had nothing at all to say about the lace dress.

He STRONGLY disliked the V-neck. Like, it was the most negative reaction to anything tagged in there. So interesting: He thought the beading detail (which IMO is so subtle b/c the dress is so simple otherwise) was too "designed" whereas other dresses with a lot more going on he thought were more organically detailed. Or something.

So--I totally asked for this, but I''m kind of bummed! And of course I can''t communicate this to him, which also sucks.

The dresses he responded to the most positively were 1)a halter dress I didn''t try on (but looks not unlike my Dem dress with a halter and 2)a strapless dress like my Dem dress.

Which brings me back to another thought I hadn''t even mentioned here: Add a halter to the demetrios dress. If you''ve seen photos from Danica McKellar''s wedding, she had a halter for the ceremony and was strapless at the reception. It could make my dress different even thought it''s still the original dress. And I WILL have extra material b/c I''m short and it''s going to have to be hemmed.

I think I was thrown by his disliking the v-neck one--in person I really thought, "OH, M will LOVE this"....the back, the detail, the shape....and he literally was like "I don''t like that one at ALL." If he''d been lukewarm I think I''d have been fine, but.....

I guess I really do need to keep looking.

It''s just weird: His general aesthetic is pretty simple, and he doesn''t like strapless usually. (So of course, what does he like? The asymmetrical ones with side gathers and strapless: like the one I already have.)


He did EXACTLY what I asked of him, and he still has no idea which dresses were even in contention, so why am I taking it personally? I totally set myself up for disappointment here, so it''s my own fault.

Poop.

But thank you, thank you for all the great comments, which I will reply to I promise.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, I think it was a pretty good idea to get some general feedback from him, actually. Those dresses were of VERY diverse styles, so I can see why he''d like some a lot more than others. I still think the Dem. dress is really gorgeous as it is.

 

[AmberGretchen]

OK, so I didn''t look at the other responses so that I wouldn''t be biased, but here''s what I think (and what I remember thinking when you first posted that dress on PS years ago): I think that you have an amazing figure, and you look beautiful in all of the dresses that you posted pics in, and will be a gorgeous bride in whatever you choose.

That said, I think that the original dress is truly a standout. It just has so much more personality than the others, and it really suits you in a very special way.