Someone proposed on our wedding day, is that ok?
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diamondfan
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Me, I think it is tacky. Surely the person could wait, or do it the day prior. Very little would compel me to think that it must be done that same day. Very attention seeking to me.
Also, they could do it when they are alone and keep it under wraps for your day, if for some reason it had to be that day and that day only.
Also, they could do it when they are alone and keep it under wraps for your day, if for some reason it had to be that day and that day only.
ahappygirl
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swingirl
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Kaleigh
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heather318
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I know a girl that was proposed to at someone else's wedding.. My first response was TACKY!!
If it was someone really close to you and they had talked to you about it, I think it MIGHT have been different.. But using a day that someone else paid a ton of money for to propose, yuck!
ETA: are we talking about someone proposing AT your wedding, or elsewhere on your wedding day? If it was just on your wedding day, I'm not sure I feel the same way as I had stated above.. I agree that they should have picked a different day, but honestly, I don't think most people think that proposing on some random day out of the year that happens to be someone else's wedding day is that big of a deal..
If it was someone really close to you and they had talked to you about it, I think it MIGHT have been different.. But using a day that someone else paid a ton of money for to propose, yuck!
ETA: are we talking about someone proposing AT your wedding, or elsewhere on your wedding day? If it was just on your wedding day, I'm not sure I feel the same way as I had stated above.. I agree that they should have picked a different day, but honestly, I don't think most people think that proposing on some random day out of the year that happens to be someone else's wedding day is that big of a deal..
chizzy1982
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If it were my wedding day, that''s fine, I don''t own the day, just don''t make a big announcement at the event that I spent a lot of money on.
If they proposed at my wedding, I''d be LIVID. I agree that it''s attention seeking and inappropriate. If the mood strikes you, fair enough, but keep it to yourself. Don''t draw the attention away from the important event happening in my relationship to focus on the important event in your relationship at an event *I* planned and executed.
I''d feel the same way for any big milestone. If you find out that you''re pregnant 2 hours before arriving at my wedding, great! I''m happy for you! But please don''t announce it to the general public at an event I spent months planning and put a fair amount of money into.
If they proposed at my wedding, I''d be LIVID. I agree that it''s attention seeking and inappropriate. If the mood strikes you, fair enough, but keep it to yourself. Don''t draw the attention away from the important event happening in my relationship to focus on the important event in your relationship at an event *I* planned and executed.
I''d feel the same way for any big milestone. If you find out that you''re pregnant 2 hours before arriving at my wedding, great! I''m happy for you! But please don''t announce it to the general public at an event I spent months planning and put a fair amount of money into.
Sorry there, I forgot to say that it was DURING the party, after she''d caught the bouquet for the third time in a row. I mean, I''d be fine if that happened before the actual ceremony and party or after that altogether - on their way back to their hotel. It was a very rosemantic setting on a Brazilian beach and everything was fantastic, the music, the scenary, the food... I wouldn''t blame him if he got inspired. Now, how can someone do this to his own brother on his big day? The girl didn''t try to be considerate neither. She shouted in the church twice that my dress was too simple while I was greeting the guests on their way out. I was numbed with her rudeness!! At the Reception dinner, they got his father to sit with them (where, obviously, the father should sit with us). I had to get him at their table, in front of everyone... She then had the nerve to ask for our wedding pictures ''cause they''d lost theirs and this was after them being hostile to us ''cause we didn''t want to guide them in Rio during our honey-moon. Can this get any worse? Oh, yes, it can. I''m dreading the fact that I have to go to their wedding in the next few months and get more abuse. I didn''t know what to do then and I still don''t know what to do now. So, any help/advice is very much appreciated. Thank you all!!
Date: 4/6/2008 5:12:29 AM
Author: chizzy1982
OMG that is beyond rude
Who thinks its appropriate to do that??? Did the girlfreind seem happy/surprised or was she more mortified/embarressed? i know which one I would be if that happened to me
No, she wasn''t mortified at all! She was sort of expecting it and milked it as much as she could. Her sister''s BF and one of my BIL''s (totally drunk - according to him), lifted her up and for a good while we all had it clear that she was the bride. I felt that was so rude of them, too. Everytime she meets me now, she keeps saying that she''s praying that the same happens to a friend of hers on their big day - that her friend gets her bouquet and then is proposed at their wedding. Yeah, righ!! Who is she kidding?!! If I could, I''d show you the pictures, but for privacy reasons, I''d better not.
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Announce that you're pregnant (preferably with twins) at her wedding. Especially if they would be the first grandchildren in the family. Announce that you're using the baby names that she told you that she wanted to use. Then tell her her dress makes her look like she's pregnant with triples and congratulate her. Insist on being there for the bouquet toss even though you're already married. If the mood inspires you dance during her first dance saying "this song reminds me so much about why I love my husband and how we're the prefect couple" really loudly.
I really have no advice or words. I'm clearly bitter for you!
I really have no advice or words. I'm clearly bitter for you!
CrookedRock
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golden
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I think it depends...
If it is AT someone''s wedding, during someone''s wedding, definitely not, I wouldn''t even call it tacky, it''s just rude and selfish.
But if it is a couples anniversary or a special date for them already, then AFTER THE WEDDING, on their own time, away from the wedding.
If it is their anniversary the couple could have been thinking beforehand, "I can''t believe so and so is getting married on our anniversary"...
If it is AT someone''s wedding, during someone''s wedding, definitely not, I wouldn''t even call it tacky, it''s just rude and selfish.
But if it is a couples anniversary or a special date for them already, then AFTER THE WEDDING, on their own time, away from the wedding.
If it is their anniversary the couple could have been thinking beforehand, "I can''t believe so and so is getting married on our anniversary"...
golden
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I just read the rest of your post----so he actually proposed when she caught the bouquet? Either way, if my boyfriend proposed to me during someone elses wedding, and everyone was able to see it, I would be mortified; my boyfriend is classy and would never do this, so I don't have to worry. Did your husband have any problems with this? How did this all happen-- I want more details hahaha I learn everyday that people just don't have morals anymore
absolut_blonde
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Elmorton
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This actually happened to a friend of mine - she had a destination wedding, and the BM proposed to his girlfriend on the beach during the reception (slightly off the reception site). They kept it under the radar until the next morning, but my friend was LIVID. It''s almost been a year, and she still avoids the couple. I don''t really blame her for that, though. It''s tacky supreme. The only consolation I could offer was who would you rather be, the bride at the beautiful wedding with a short tacky moment or the girl who got proposed to during someone else''s wedding? I''d take the first any day (but yes, I''d be still be pretty ticked for years to come). Maybe we should ask PS admin to put an announcement on the proposal board that reception proposals are NOT COOL. Apparently, word needs to get around to some men out there.
heather318
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Keepingthefaith21
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That is incredibly rude. I do know of one couple that got engaged at a wedding BUT it was actually the bride and groom''s idea and they were 100% supportive of it. Almost all of the guests were told about what was going to happen. So, in that one particular case, I suppose it was not considered rude.
However, I''d be MORTIFIED if my SO did this. I''m not sure I could even say yes if he was to do something that rude. And you bet I''d be peeved if someone proposed at my wedding.
However, I''d be MORTIFIED if my SO did this. I''m not sure I could even say yes if he was to do something that rude. And you bet I''d be peeved if someone proposed at my wedding.
LegacyGirl
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neatfreak
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I wouldn't be pissed if for some reason my wedding day was the perfect day/location/time whatever and the proposal happened somewhere not in front of the wedding guests, and it was kept off the radar until the next day. OR if they cleared it with me first. So like in the scenario Elmorton mentioned...it wouldn't bother me that much because it was kept under wraps during MY wedding. But geez, proposing in front of everyone at YOUR wedding is just ridiculous!
Otherwise, I think it is really rude!
Otherwise, I think it is really rude!
Alleyoop
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You know, this happened at my wedding reception also. It was a destination wedding, 32 people total and my husband''s brother stopped the party to propose to his girlfriend. At the time I was floored that they would do this (my new hubby was livid), but generally happy for them. I mean, it wasn''t often that his family was together in one place. However, what REALLY got my goat was that they DIDN''T INVITE US TO THE WEDDING. Can you believe it? They had a destination wedding also, about the same size as ours. Yes, this is my BIL. He didn''t invite his own brother to his wedding!
I say, don''t put yourself through it. Either take the low road, RSVP yes and get "sick" the day of, or take the high road and RSVP no, you have "prior committments". Life is too short to spend your time and money on people who care so little about you.
Either way, I am so sorry for you. Throw away those pictures, delete them from your computer and try to just remember the happy parts of the day. You deserve all the best!
I say, don''t put yourself through it. Either take the low road, RSVP yes and get "sick" the day of, or take the high road and RSVP no, you have "prior committments". Life is too short to spend your time and money on people who care so little about you.
Either way, I am so sorry for you. Throw away those pictures, delete them from your computer and try to just remember the happy parts of the day. You deserve all the best!
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eaglesgal
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choro72
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Elmorton
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They announced the next morning during brunch right as many of the guests were getting ready to leave, so it did take attention away from the newlyweds and their guests...still not right, but yes, it more tasteful than proposing during the reception in front of all the guests... I think the suggestion to remove pictures, etc, of the event and remember the other, fantastic moments of the day is a good one. I think my friend has had a hard time doing that, which is sad, because her wedding and the week of events that preceded were absolutely beautiful.
I don''t see Bibi''s original post (the first one is empty)...did this thread get moved/changed?
I don''t see Bibi''s original post (the first one is empty)...did this thread get moved/changed?
Dani511
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If it occured at some point on the actual day, as in prior to all of the festivities, or even if it occured at the reception but in a place where no one could notice, AND they did NOT announce it at all at the weddng, I could be fairly OK with that. However, proposing at the wedding recpetion and making it a huge announcement is very rude, esp. in light of how much money these events cost, not to mention what they represent for the couple. In that case, they get to spoil and take away from another''s big day AND then have thier own special day as well? Not fair. It seems that what happened to you is quite tacky and unacceptable, and I am very sorry! I have to admit, I might feel a bit revenge-driven if that had happened to me.
Yes, indeed. He proposed right after she caught the bouquet - he went on his knees and everything. The DJ even changed the lighting, put on some music, and the photographer registered the moment. Her sister''s boyfriend (another example of a self-absorved individual) and one of my BIL''s lifted her up (as if she was the actual bride, no jealoussy, just amazement) and kept on partying. There''s a say in Portuguese (I''m Brazilian and they''re Irish) which is: "If you can''t bit them, then join them." I was confused, tipsy and didn''t know how to react as I was also quite of a happy camper. So, I congratulated them, anyway. My husband didn''t even get up and pretended it wasn''t happening, so upset he was. In fact, they were misbehaving from even before the wedding. They made me organise as much as possible their trip to the wedding venue and thereabouts (Brazil-South America). Your man even wanted us to guide them through the city where we were to have our honeymoon (Rio). I said no and he got annoyed over it. We went together to the place, but when we got there I said goodbye and good luck. I wanted to tell them off but my MIL (who didn''t attend our wedding but will attend theirs) insisted not to as it would sour things up (her exact words). Another thing that upset me is that while I greeted the guests, as they were leaving the church, the girl shouted twice my dress was TOO SIMPLE and one of my BIL''s had to subtly tell her off. All this made me so angry and upset that I spent most of our honeymoon sick (digestive disfunction) and it wasn''t anything I ate, but nervousness. On our return, she then asked for the pics of our wedding cos'' they''d lost theirs. I sent some bad quality ones through e-mail and in return had to hear her saying her clients felt like her BF was the groom. That really made me sick. What a stuppid cow! Finally, the pen dropped for them and they started a guilt/vindictive trip, they would pretend they didn''t know us in social events, if someone reminded us that the song playing was played at our wedding, she would say the next song played at their engagement DURING our wedding. Months later, during Xmas, we had to go to their house (as the family has alsways done). I didn''t go as I felt as sick as I was in our honeymoon. My husband went and he was disgusted with them showing the very few pics they got as if it was the party of their engagement and not our wedding at all. Yeah, I know, I''m an ass and have been quite responsible for my own misery, too. Sorry dumping all that on you, but letting it out has helped me quite a lot, as for a long time I thought I was wrong to be upset or even angry about it. Now their wedding will happen in a few months and I don''t wanna be vindictive, but if I could choose, I''d go to the place but to the wedding. Thanks a lot for patiently reading my posts and giving me your opinion!
Delster
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Oh wow, bibi I'm sorry. I just want to let you know that this would not be acceptable in Ireland. At my cousin's wedding one of the groom's friends got the DJ to announce that another cousin (who wasn't there) had gotten engaged, when she hadn't. The supposedly-engaged cousin had, for the previous six months, been telling anyone who'd listen about how she was getting old, really wanted to be engaged, wished her BF would propose, she was on the shelf, this BF was her last chance at getting married etc etc etc. So it was a very mean prank. Our family were appalled at both the nastiness of it, and the inappropriateness of making that announcement in the middle of someone else's reception. I just wanted to share that in case you wondered if it might be acceptable behaviour in Ireland. It's not!!!
These people sound insufferable. Take the high road hon, shame them with your perfect manners and impeccable sweetness. The joke will be on them in the long run.
PS - still can't believe she hurled abuse at you in the church over the style of your dress!!! She's a piece of work!
These people sound insufferable. Take the high road hon, shame them with your perfect manners and impeccable sweetness. The joke will be on them in the long run.
PS - still can't believe she hurled abuse at you in the church over the style of your dress!!! She's a piece of work!
Wow! That''s really shocking! What an envious jerk! On top of spoiling your big day, he''s also a prick for having done that to you both - do this to his own family? How disgusting!! I''m shocked, but glad to have shared it with someone who has been through a similar situation. I guess you''re right. Though, we have a problem: his company''s one of my hubby''s main clients. We have also booked accommodation and car, but we won''t stay long. Now, after what you said, I think I won''t go... I may go to the venue, but not to the wedding.
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