Someone proposed on our wedding day, is that ok?

[bibis]

Date: 4/7/2008 9:31:14 PM
Author: Elmorton
They announced the next morning during brunch right as many of the guests were getting ready to leave, so it did take attention away from the newlyweds and their guests...still not right, but yes, it more tasteful than proposing during the reception in front of all the guests... I think the suggestion to remove pictures, etc, of the event and remember the other, fantastic moments of the day is a good one. I think my friend has had a hard time doing that, which is sad, because her wedding and the week of events that preceded were absolutely beautiful.

I don''t see Bibi''s original post (the first one is empty)...did this thread get moved/changed?

Hi there, no it didn''t. I hit the Send button by accident, which is why it''s empty. Sorry about that and many thanks for your opinion and advice!!

 

[bibis]

Date: 4/9/2008 9:15:02 AM
Author: Delster
Oh wow, bibi I''m sorry. I just want to let you know that this would not be acceptable in Ireland. At my cousin''s wedding one of the groom''s friends got the DJ to announce that another cousin (who wasn''t there) had gotten engaged, when she hadn''t. The supposedly-engaged cousin had, for the previous six months, been telling anyone who''d listen about how she was getting old, really wanted to be engaged, wished her BF would propose, she was on the shelf, this BF was her last chance at getting married etc etc etc. So it was a very mean prank. Our family were appalled at both the nastiness of it, and the inappropriateness of making that announcement in the middle of someone else''s reception. I just wanted to share that in case you wondered if it might be acceptable behaviour in Ireland. It''s not!!!

These people sound insufferable. Take the high road hon, shame them with your perfect manners and impeccable sweetness. The joke will be on them in the long run.

PS - still can''t believe she hurled abuse at you in the church over the style of your dress!!! She''s a piece of work!

Oh wow, Delster, thanks a million for telling me that. Please God, I wouldn''t think any bad of Irish people. I''ve been cultivating a great deal of fondness for the country and its people in the past 15 years of my life, to include the 4 yrs that I''ve been living in this piece of green haven. That also explains a bit why I married an Irish hunk.

Though, I was affraid of being unfair to them cos'' I thought it could possibly happen here and be ok. Besides, they were my family in Ireland, but surely I''m not theirs in Brazil. Also, I would put a lot of consideration/respect into what my MIL would ask/say. Yeah, well, if I have to go, I won''t feel comfortable revenging as it''s not in my nature, but I will not take any crap neither. Once again, thanks a million for your advice.

 

[Delster]

Ah, you married an Irish lad! I was thinking you had a lot of Irish idioms in your way of writing! I couldn''t put my finger on it, your posts just sounded so Irish. I know there are a lot of Irish in Argentina, but I didn''t think there were many in Brazil?

Out of curiosity, what does your MIL think of her new FDIL? And the rest of the family? That''ll be a good yardstick for how the wedding will go off. Although, of course, chances are her family may resemble her in terms of behaviour. I''m sure it won''t be a dull affair anyways!

I think the best way to deal with people like that is to call them on their behaviour right there in front of everyone, and always always always perserve the high moral ground for yourself by behaving impeccably towards them. When she acts up, ask her straight out why she said/did that. Do it immediately, in front of anyone who happens to be there. Obviously that''s not possible in the midst of her wedding (because you have more grace than her, of course!) but you can certainly adopt this tactic with her between here and then and have the ground rules laid beforehand.

(I''m STILL reeling from the image of someone shouting at the bride in the church about her dress!!!)

 

[ringshopper2008]

This happened at my cousin''s wedding. Sometime that weekend, his cousin (who was the best man) proposed to his girlfriend.
Then, during the reception, my cousin got up in front of everyone and said that they had an announcement to make. We all thought that he was going to say that his now wife was pregnant (and were excited to hear that), but instead, he announced that his cousin was now engaged, and wanted everyone to know.
I was definitely disgusted that someone would do this. Very tacky.

 

[alli_esq]

That is incredibly, incredibly tacky and selfish. Weddings are so expensive and require so much energy--it sucks that someone would try to upstage you that way. SO much.

funny story, though--at my FSIL''s wedding (she was SO the un-bride, even though it was a lovely wedding, she HATED being the center of attention and the whole thing made her super-nervous), one of her best friends got engaged. Apparently, some guy was dancing with her, and her BF was like, "I don''t want her dancing with any other guys anymore," and got his friend to bring the ring over. He proposed right after the reception, but at the after-party. FSIL was actually really thrilled for them (took the spotlight off of her!)...

and that guy who was dancing with her friend who got engaged? Yeah, that guy is now my FI. We actually got together at that same wedding.

heheh...now FSIL and her husband say that two weddings were borne of theirs...

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

My best friend was proposed to an hour before my graduation party from college. I was very happy for her, but I did have to go upstairs at my graduation party to her room and inform all our friends that MY PARTY had started downstairs and would like for them to join my other friends and family downstairs. I think she was trying to be polite and not go on and on about the engagement at my party, but that just meant everyone was hanging out in her room at first. I was annoyed by the situation, but it was her dumb bf''s fault for not being considerate toward me, not hers. Unfortunately, that engagement did not last. Fortuantely, her husband is the most perfect man for her - way better than that college bf - and would never consider doing that to me!!



I cannot believe what I am hearing about these proposals during other people''s weddings! As hurt as I was that my friends were turning my graduation party into an engagement party, I can''t imagine that happening at my wedding!!

 

[Elmorton]

Bibi... after reading your description of your FSIL and the events that happened...

...is it bad that I hope she gets hit by a truck before the wedding? She sounds like an absolute beast. Luckily, people like that usually don''t stay married for long, so hopefully, your family will continue without her in a few years. DEFINITELY wear a fabulous white dress to her wedding - shoot, wear your wedding dress. Call it cultural confusion.

 

[claireabelle]

How disrespectful!

I would NEVER marry a man if he proposed to me at SOMEONE ELSE''S WEDDING!

T.A.C.K.Y!

 

[waterlilly]

NO! NOT cool.

 

[DiamondSeeker7]

Date: 5/21/2008 7:14:31 PM
Author: Elmorton
Bibi... after reading your description of your FSIL and the events that happened...

...is it bad that I hope she gets hit by a truck before the wedding? She sounds like an absolute beast. Luckily, people like that usually don''t stay married for long, so hopefully, your family will continue without her in a few years. DEFINITELY wear a fabulous white dress to her wedding - shoot, wear your wedding dress. Call it cultural confusion.

I think this is a great idea! I can''t believe that someone prosed at your wedding- how thoughtless. I got engaged last April and went to my fiance''s cousins destination wedding in June. I remember that my fiance didnt want to propose to close to their wedding, so that we wouldn''t take away from their special day in anyway.

 

[valleygirl]

Oh my word!!! What a horrible thing to have happen on your wedding day! I couldn''t even imagine... I would have thrown them out. My BF''s family has some characters who would do this sort of thing and I would have no problem kicking them out

(he''s the black sheep of his family. BF is super classy, hard-working and wants to make something of himself... we can''t really say that about his siblings though... he is the only one to finish and continue with school, has a job and so on..)

It is YOUR day and NO one should take that away from you. Hopefully they are just a sour spot in the family. I don''t know if I would go to the wedding and make a scene... I think I would want to show more class than that... but it''s oh so tempting...

My BF and I are planning to get engaged this summer (the family doesn''t know though.

) I don''t know how he plans to propose or when, but I think he is going to ask me on my birthday (July 4th! yay!) My only concern is that we have to go to his cousins wedding on July 12th.

I''m hoping that news of our engagement will have died down by then (if he does ask me on my b-day.) It is a part of his family I have never met before and I want to make a good impression and I would be absolutely mortified if I detracted from their day in any way. Hopefully our engagement news stays minimal.... we''re getting a really simple band as a placeholder ring, so hopefully it won''t be noticed... if anything BF''s 9 month old niece will steal the show....

best of luck with the upcoming "celebration" looming ahead...

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/21/2008 7:14:31 PM
Author: Elmorton
Bibi... after reading your description of your FSIL and the events that happened...

...is it bad that I hope she gets hit by a truck before the wedding? She sounds like an absolute beast. Luckily, people like that usually don''t stay married for long, so hopefully, your family will continue without her in a few years. DEFINITELY wear a fabulous white dress to her wedding - shoot, wear your wedding dress. Call it cultural confusion.

Going along with everyone else, the FSIL sounds like a total B****. I don''t wish bad things on people, but I''m pretty sure she will screw this up all on her own.

Elmorton: This post just made my day!! "Cultural confusion"... I love it!!!