SOO UPSET! NEED TO VENT!

[honey22]

Date: 5/15/2009 10:17:07 PM
Author: iloveprincesscuts
He just called and his on his way. Said he was talking to his boss about work stuff and the next round of layoffs and his phone was on vibrate.
Im still upset, am i wrong???
I just feel its SO RUDE. He could have easily left me a voicemail - im his FI not his roomate.
geeeeeeeez.

maybe the stress of the wedding and that my shower is sunday and everything else is making me more on edge, but im so upset right now.
I feel like he totally was so discurtious tonight. what the hell? i would never do that to him.

You are overreacting, he send you an email to say he may be late tonight, so really what''s the big deal if he stays out late occasionally? I don''t understand why woman fly off the handle when their men go out?

Seriously, will the earth stop spinning if your man comes home late once in a while? No. He told you he would be late, just let him have a night out without giving him the guilts or being mad at him. Just because you are engaged, doesn''t mean that he has to be home every night by a specific time to be with you.

It''s healthy to spend time apart from each other. Don''t keep him on too tight a leash, he might just want to break free!

 

[KimberlyH]

I''m so glad you came here, vented, calmed down, and realized you were overreacting. If he didn''t bother to tell you anything and showed up 5 hours later than expected that is one thing, but to go out with the boss and have you be mad that he didn''t come home when you thought he should is a whole different story. If it happens again, take a deep breath, and a walk, before responding so it doesn''t escalate like this did. Or come back here for some perspective. It''s really not a big deal.

 

[galvana]

Thank you all for your posts -

Im really greatful to all of you and to pricescope - having a place to get honest feedback, is very valuable to me.

Italiahaircolor - thanks but i did feel stupid. lol
TravelingGal - Im so glad i came here and got honest advice. wheww. wish i had before i sent the WTF text. oooops

luckystar112 - nope you are not alone, i would have "died" if his boss had answered! wholy crap! LOL

Sabine - yup everything you said is 100% right - tx
HollyS - tx for your post, you are right i was wrong for the wtf text, i guess i felt the need to overreact (didn''t know i was overreacting at the time, was because i dont want him to take me for granted, i thought he was being discurtious to me for not updating me or answering my call)
04diamond<3 you are right and thank you, its been very stressful and we are getting to a point where we just laugh at it now, some things we just can''t control and we have to accept it and smile - instead of letting it stress us (me) out. tx
Smurfyimproved - tx for your post, lucky for me, 1) I had PS ladies straighten me out before i made it worse and 2) my FI is a VERY patient man who loves me a lot.
DearBuddha - you are so right, i was being selfish, he was networking and needed to for our future and i was being a big baby. lol =- thanks for your honesty
Octavia - i was surprised too at first but i realized that maybe i was in the wrong, which is why i came here - to get a bunch of honest opinions to help me. I do understand that "in this situation with his boss" maybe picking up my call wasn''t optimal. I DO hope however that maybe next time, when he goes to the bathroom - that MAYBE he''ll text me he''s having more than 1 beer, BUT if he doesn''t and he''s with his boss, i wont freak out either

decodelighted - I actually thought he''d be home by 7p as 530 is his normal time - so when it got to 9-930 i got upset, tx for your post though, i KNOW i was in the wrong, especially with the WTF text.

MonkeyPie you are right, im not his keeper, i just felt he was taking me for granted, i was wrong. tx
honey22 - you''re right, you''re right, thank you. i needed to hear all this. tx
KimberlyH - I too and SO GLAD i came here to vent and calm down before he came home. I am so grateful to all of you for your honesty -
FI and i are fine, he iis sooo good and thanks to you all when he got home, i was no longer angry, he thought i was and he was just trying to explain to me why it was so important to not answer my call - they conversation was very intense regarding layoffs of his coworkers, etc. i told him it was fine and i should have not reacted that way, - and we moved on quickly.
THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!!!!! Sometimes i just need someone to slap me back into reality. I love PS!

 

[Patchee]

I don''t know what the big deal is of him going out with his Boss (no less) for a few drinks?

Was there something pertaining to your wedding that he and you had to get done?

I don''t get it. My FI (july 11th, 09'' same date as you) when I get home is not there at times and it''s ok. No need to call or write as he will be home soon.

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 5/18/2009 3:17:04 PM
Author: Patchee
I don't know what the big deal is of him going out with his Boss (no less) for a few drinks?

Was there something pertaining to your wedding that he and you had to get done?

I don't get it. My FI (july 11th, 09' same date as you) when I get home is not there at times and it's ok. No need to call or write as he will be home soon.

I think she got that???

ILPC: just consider it one of those "transition" things.... and figure that your FI now gets a pass on his next transition slip-up!

 

[tyty333]

I have learned with my husband that if he says that he is going to be home a little late or going out for a few beers etc...
I just count him gone for the night. He gets home when he gets home. In the mean time I get to relax, NOT cook
dinner and read a good book if I want to. That way no one has any expectations that might not be met. I do like
him to be home before I go to bed (but thats so I can sleep better - purely selfish). If he''s not home, I sleep with
one eye open!

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 5/18/2009 3:49:07 PM
Author: tyty333
I have learned with my husband that if he says that he is going to be home a little late or going out for a few beers etc...
I just count him gone for the night. He gets home when he gets home. In the mean time I get to relax, NOT cook
dinner and read a good book if I want to. That way no one has any expectations that might not be met. I do like
him to be home before I go to bed (but thats so I can sleep better - purely selfish). If he''s not home, I sleep with
one eye open!

Ditto!

I just like to know when he won''t be around so I can plan my ME time. If he says he is doing A,B or C I presume he will be out the better part of the evening or day and leave him to it. I can''t tell you how many times I''ve had plans to do something that morphed into me doing 10 other things and not coming home until the wee hours of the morning. I never mean any disrespect to my FI and never take offense when he plans evenings without me. It''s important for him to have his social life - and it''s important that I get time to hunker down and watch movies he would never want to to watch in a million years while eating a "dinner" of ice cream

Secretly, I like when he has business trips. They are few and far between and they remind me that I am perfectly fine on my own - I like being reminded that I can take care of/entertain myself.

 

[LadyBlue]

Date: 5/18/2009 3:49:07 PM
Author: tyty333
I have learned with my husband that if he says that he is going to be home a little late or going out for a few beers etc...

I just count him gone for the night. He gets home when he gets home. In the mean time I get to relax, NOT cook

dinner and read a good book if I want to. That way no one has any expectations that might not be met. I do like

him to be home before I go to bed (but thats so I can sleep better - purely selfish). If he''s not home, I sleep with

one eye open!

I will follow your advice, the worst thing that can happen is to make the wrong expectations. Happened with me one time and will not happen again

 

[tyty333]

Date: 5/18/2009 6:46:07 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21

Date: 5/18/2009 3:49:07 PM
Author: tyty333
I have learned with my husband that if he says that he is going to be home a little late or going out for a few beers etc...
I just count him gone for the night. He gets home when he gets home. In the mean time I get to relax, NOT cook
dinner and read a good book if I want to. That way no one has any expectations that might not be met. I do like
him to be home before I go to bed (but thats so I can sleep better - purely selfish). If he''s not home, I sleep with
one eye open!

Ditto!

I just like to know when he won''t be around so I can plan my ME time. If he says he is doing A,B or C I presume he will be out the better part of the evening or day and leave him to it. I can''t tell you how many times I''ve had plans to do something that morphed into me doing 10 other things and not coming home until the wee hours of the morning. I never mean any disrespect to my FI and never take offense when he plans evenings without me. It''s important for him to have his social life - and it''s important that I get time to hunker down and watch movies he would never want to to watch in a million years while eating a ''dinner'' of ice cream

Secretly, I like when he has business trips. They are few and far between and they remind me that I am perfectly fine on my own - I like being reminded that I can take care of/entertain myself.

I can so relate!

 

[galvana]

Date: 5/18/2009 3:49:07 PM
Author: tyty333
I have learned with my husband that if he says that he is going to be home a little late or going out for a few beers etc...
I just count him gone for the night. He gets home when he gets home. In the mean time I get to relax, NOT cook
dinner and read a good book if I want to. That way no one has any expectations that might not be met. I do like
him to be home before I go to bed (but thats so I can sleep better - purely selfish). If he''s not home, I sleep with
one eye open!

This is great advice, just plan on him being gone for the night and then you are never disappointed or upset when he''s not home by a certain time.
I love it. thank you -