Stuff, or experience?

[ChargerGrrl]

Date: 11/15/2006 6:49:15 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/15/2006 6:05:30 PM
Author: phoenixgirl

I do worry that I have some sort of weird money hang-up . . . I can barely bring myself to buy things that I actually need, but I''ll happily spend thousands of dollars on a vacation or hundreds of dollars on a meal.

Don''t worry, I have the same hang up as you.

Charger, another one who has been there eh? Maybe for a one year anniversary I''ll take TGuy if this work paying for it thing doesn''t work out. I think it''d be worth it for us.

Honestly, I wish clothes were my weakness...it would keep me in better shape!

A one year anniversary dinner there would be wonderful! I''m thinking of taking DH there for his 30th Bday in January. I best get cracking on that. I think they take reservations 2 months in advance.

Keller has expanded his restaurant empire beyond Napa Valley. I know he has a place in NYC that overlooks Central Park and is tiiiny- I heard around 20 tables. And he also has a restaurant in the Venetian in Vegas. I''m sure both are delish!

I have to say that I''m not a huge fan of fine L.A dining. There''s a ton of great "hole in the wall" places to eat, which is great, but I save my fine dining for when I''m out of town. Seattle, SFO & New Orleans are my favorite dining cities.

OK, sorry to digress. I could talk about food forever!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/15/2006 7:05:47 PM
Author: ChargerGrrl

Date: 11/15/2006 6:49:15 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/15/2006 6:05:30 PM
Author: phoenixgirl

I do worry that I have some sort of weird money hang-up . . . I can barely bring myself to buy things that I actually need, but I''ll happily spend thousands of dollars on a vacation or hundreds of dollars on a meal.

Don''t worry, I have the same hang up as you.

Charger, another one who has been there eh? Maybe for a one year anniversary I''ll take TGuy if this work paying for it thing doesn''t work out. I think it''d be worth it for us.

Honestly, I wish clothes were my weakness...it would keep me in better shape!

A one year anniversary dinner there would be wonderful! I''m thinking of taking DH there for his 30th Bday in January. I best get cracking on that. I think they take reservations 2 months in advance.

Keller has expanded his restaurant empire beyond Napa Valley. I know he has a place in NYC that overlooks Central Park and is tiiiny- I heard around 20 tables. And he also has a restaurant in the Venetian in Vegas. I''m sure both are delish!

I have to say that I''m not a huge fan of fine L.A dining. There''s a ton of great ''hole in the wall'' places to eat, which is great, but I save my fine dining for when I''m out of town. Seattle, SFO & New Orleans are my favorite dining cities.

OK, sorry to digress. I could talk about food forever!

I''m with you on L.A. Even though I am sure there are good restaurants here, I don''t bother. But everywhere else I go, it''s the first thing I research. New Orleans is definitely a fantastic dining city. L.A. has great sushi, and that is what I stick with.

Well, if I am going bother fighting the masses to dine at a Thomas Keller restaurant, it''s going to be F.L.

 

[mia15]

LOL, I love how "experiences" has automatically turned into food! PS is home to a lot of foodies.

I have always been for experiences, but lately I''m beginning to realize I need to pay more attention to stuff. I hate shopping so much that I actually don''t have all the things I need and sometimes I look around and realize it lowers my quality of life. I used to do things like give myself a budget and have it accumulate in a savings account for months and get in a blind panic when I got invited to a party.
I''m frugal, but lately I''ve forced myself to buy something if I run across something I like even if it''s horrendously expensive. It saves time because it''ll literally be 6-8 months or longer before I find something to buy again, and by that time there will be $$ in the clothing budget again.

Food, I can spend on. and on...

TG, I also live in LA. Where do you go for sushi? I agree with you about the restaurant scene here. Something about it makes me incredibly lazy so even when it comes to sushi, I''m in a bit of a rut, going to the same places all the time. Anywhere new I should try?

 

[TravelingGal]

I think AllisonFaye hit it on the head with the idea that we need "new". There''s a quote somewhere that says "I like to travel because I don''t like my life disrupted my routine." Even though I love to visit old places, or love comfort food, there''s just something about a new experience. As we get older, those new experiences get few and far between because we have lived life a little more!

I think food comes up because dining out can be seen as a waste. When I spend money on travel, I may get "Wow...that''s great...I wouldn''t spend my money on that," but I never get "You are SO crazy for wanting to spend money to hang out in Italy!" Whereas when it comes to a fine dining experience, I do get "What? How could a $$$ meal really be worth that kind of money?" I bring what up Mara did...it''s the entire thing...who you eat with, where, and what you talk about. And then they wonder if I couldn''t have that kind of great conversation and eat with my hubby at home. Hey, clothes, etc are what I put ON my body. If I am putting it IN my body, wouldn''t I want it to be the best? Hehehe.

Emerald Lover, I eat at a little restaurant in Santa Monica called Aki. Totally unpretentious and one sushi chef (he''s my cousin in law''s friend). The have the best appetizer...these mussels. Even people who don''t like mussles love these. They are chopped up with some kind of secret recipe and put back in the shells. Soooo good. Where you go?

 

[Stone Hunter]

Date: 11/15/2006 3:29:24 PM
Author: Mara

its funny you asked this because we were just having this convo today with my coworkers.

my boss and i are total foodies. aka we both go travel somewhere and come back talking not about sights or shopping but FOOD. what we ate, how great it was, etc. when people travel i always want to share the best places to eat with them. the most expensive meal we have ever had with greg and i was $750 at a restaurant in NYC. it wasn''t very good for me because i don''t like true french food but greg ADORED it and he thought it was definitely worth it. so we are more than willing to spend on food if it''s excellent and also you can create memories with the food experience that are priceless (aka remember when we..).

but i also will spend on certain material things as well. purses and diamonds are probably my two things. i drive an old ratty car that really needs replacing (spring 07 i swear!!) but i love me my diamonds and purses.

the funny thing is that my coworker was like i cannot believe that you could spend $300 or $500 or $700 on a MEAL. it just goes in and out in a few hours. i was like yeah but its not about that, it''s about the tasting experience, the conversation at the dinner table, who you were with etc. we were actually talking about this amazing meal we had in NYC. she was like that food was awesome but i would be just as happy at home eating mac and cheese, IT TASTES JUST AS GOOD. we were like OMG sacrilege!!!! ''just as good'' never!

so yeah some people could never fathom spending that on a meal, and others could never fathom it on a bag. i could never fathom spending $500 or $700 on a car monthly payment, yet i have friends who do just that. i could never fathom other expenditures that are considered more normal or acceptable in certain circles. but hey it''s whatever floats YOUR boat right?!?!

that''s what it''s all about...living life and doing what makes you happy in my opinion. and if something like a great meal or a great bag or a great car or a great house makes you happy then do it!!

Yes! It''s all about setting priorities. None of us have unlimited funds. OK a few of you do, but I don''t and neither do the other 98% of the PS posters.

A few months ago I would have said experiences. Now that my husband and I have spent so much money on my anniversary ring I''m not sure that first answer is true.

Off to think about priorities and what to do with my extra cash??!!!

 

[winternight]

Well if the Mac and Cheese is made with truffle oil I could deal with being home with that and some good wine!

Seriously I think its a balance for me. My fiance and I love to travel and always have at least one fancy dinner when we do - we also try and get something from our visit to keep in the home to decorate - a piece of art, or I like to also get jewelry or a handbag, something to keep as a memory. Its nice to have a physical object that ties you back to the experience.

Most people have to balance things, well even if not for money reasons for time reasons.

I have noticed that some travelers eat very cheaply when they travel and I think they miss out a bit. There is something exciting about getting dressed up for dinner in a different city or country and going to eat, sitting about people speaking a foreign language, trying out things that you might not at home. Also we like multiple course meals, so yes you definitely spend hours there.

Oh I also love the clothes and jewelry, all of it. Its a problem!

 

[divergrrl]

Both!!!


Now that I''m a mommy to a toddler, we''re more homebound. DH and I did make it to San Francisco for a weekend last December alone for his company Xmas party (all expenses paid at the Ritz...ahhhh). We used to travel all the time.

Now my son & I often accompany him on business trips (and baby and I bump around some cool towns alone), and we did do a family va-cay with toddler in tow to Mexico.

I am going on a cruise with my 3 best girlfriends from college in a few weeks. We''re opening a timecapsule we put together 10 years ago. How fun! I''ll be an eating, drinking, SLEEPING IN fool! (no kid? no husband? SLEEP!!! The sleep I tell you, the sleep!)

Ok...seriously, I like a little of both. But I have to be honest, the last 3 years have been about "stuff", specifically, my house. We renovated a 100 year old farmhouse on a huge piece of land in an amazing town. We gutted the kitchen and did a high end remodel, added on 1600 sq feet (we now have 3200), and poured a half court basketball court (my dh played in college) and built a 600 sq ft dance studio/gym in my basement. Our house is now awesome. But we wanted a funky house that no one else has, my DH did so much of the work himself (our travertine floors, all the tile) and we were the GC''s so we saved so much.

We wanted something big enough for our family, but not so big that we rattle around in it. (plus, I clean the house, so I think even what we have now is hard to keep up with) Another big thing was that we wanted a house we could live in forever. DH will not move for a job (there''s enough work in this city should he ever lose his job...nor will he do that "move to move up the ladder garbage" we are all about quality of life, vs. over working, being close to my family for my son) and our house is worth so much more than we bought it for 7 years ago---even with all the renovations. We could pay it off by the time Jake hits college & be set.
So while I''ve been putting all our time, energy, and $$ into our home, I feel like it''s a good investment. I''ve had to scrimp from time to time when we''ve run out of money during our 3 year remodel...saving for windows, furnace, roofers, etc. I am a cheapskate when it comes to shopping for our daily needs.

Certain things have to be nice, but I''m the queen of a good sale. I never buy name brand OTC drugs, I buy batteries, vitamins, cleaning supplies, diapers, wipes, paper products, etc from Costco and save a bundle. DH and I don''t have car payments. I drive a nice car (2003 Isuzu Axiom--really sleek SUV) but I got it one year old for about 10k less than new with a full warranty & paid cash. All my friends are at the age (mid thirties) where they are buying luxury vehicles now, & my best friend is shopping for the new Mercedes SUV. I''m a little perplexed on that, because she whines that she wants to be a stay at home mom & can''t afford it. I''ll just drive my Isuzu until it dies and then buy another one. It''s a Japanese car, that''ll be awhile.

I''d love a luxury car (my other friend just bought an adorable 2002 BMW sedan with 20k miles on it for $22k from a broker & told me he had a nice X5 with 30k miles on it for $20k...I was tempted for about 5 minutes...that is such a deal--but I''d have to sell my car, I''d only get 15k or so & then I''d have to spend $5k and we still have to remodel our basement, add on a front porch, enclose the open area of our shop, pour a concrete driveway....you see where I''m going....I can''t afford to put $$ into something that will depreciate when we have house projects left & my house is where my heart is, I want a concret driveway dang it! I''m always messing up my heels!)

So I may buy expensive designer jeans (I''m pretty good though, about one pair a year--I''m holding out on a new pair until the last of the baby weight come off as an incentive), I have to drink decent wine, and I adore good food (both eating out and cooking) but I try not to waste $$ and I''m always looking for ways to save money.

I could never choose one (stuff) over the other (experience) because I think my life is a little more balanced with a little of both. Experiences are fun, but I like having my few nice things around me. They make me feel good. And especially since much of my day is home with my little bear, its awfully nice having such a great house to knock around and make memories (experiences) in.

Jeannine

 

[eleguin]

I go for experience a lot, but I think my fiance is a bit more practical and he likes to have something to show for having spent a lot of money. I keep reminding him that when we think back to the 5.5 years that we''ve been together, we are always like: "remember the time we did ________" and not "remember that _____ we bought." Over the years he''s gotten to value experiences too. We went to Alaska last year and spent $400 per person to take a helicopter up to the glaciers and hike with ice boots, which was so awesome and is one of the main things we remember about that trip. For our honeymoon, we debated for a while whether to splurge on those honeymoon suites on the greek islands, but in the end we took that plunge. The honeymoon is costing about $10k, but after much mulling, we decided that we want our honeymoon to be an amazing thing to remember and we can always make more money. $10k in the grand scheme of things won''t make or break anything.

On the other hand, I think that material things can become valuable experiences too, especially if the thing you buy can be shared by both people. My fiance has a huge obsession with TVs. I am perfectly fine with a modest size TV, as long as I can watch it. But we went ahead and bought a big screen plasma last month and just last week he bought a home theater system with surround sound and the works. Now we are watching movies almost every night and we are loving the feeling of being in a theater. After dinner, we''d get some ice cream or fruits and we''d get under a blanket on the couch and watch movies together and it is always so much fun! So I think material things can be of great value too.

Of course there are material things that we both like to splurge on that the other just wouldn''t understand. Like I don''t see why he needs to spend so much on "toys" for his car and he doesn''t see how a purse can cost $1k. He is always like: "you just use it to hold things, my backpack was $30..." But I think we now understand that there are certain things of value to the other person that may be different from one''s own.

 

[mia15]

Date: 11/15/2006 10:19:33 PM
Author: TravelingGal

I think food comes up because dining out can be seen as a waste. When I spend money on travel, I may get ''Wow...that''s great...I wouldn''t spend my money on that,'' but I never get ''You are SO crazy for wanting to spend money to hang out in Italy!'' Whereas when it comes to a fine dining experience, I do get ''What? How could a $$$ meal really be worth that kind of money?'' I bring what up Mara did...it''s the entire thing...who you eat with, where, and what you talk about. And then they wonder if I couldn''t have that kind of great conversation and eat with my hubby at home. Hey, clothes, etc are what I put ON my body. If I am putting it IN my body, wouldn''t I want it to be the best? Hehehe.

Emerald Lover, I eat at a little restaurant in Santa Monica called Aki. Totally unpretentious and one sushi chef (he''s my cousin in law''s friend). The have the best appetizer...these mussels. Even people who don''t like mussles love these. They are chopped up with some kind of secret recipe and put back in the shells. Soooo good. Where you go?

I hear you about people thinking it''s crazy to spend lots of money on a meal! The thing is, a meal is so purely an experience. It''s fun to plan, you get to spend time with friends and loved ones, and of course, it''s a total sensory experience. For me, that''s so much more appealing than a lot of material things which actually become experiences in a negative way--like clothes waiting to be returned, for example.
I do like the idea of things that can be shared, like Eleguin''s home theater system. That''s such a nice idea. So I guess in spite of my liking for nice things, I''m hopelessly an experiences person.

TravelingGal, I''m definitely going to try Aki. I''ve been going to Sushi Karen and Matsuhisa and I''m dying to find some new places to go. Somewhere low key with really great sushi would be nice.