The benefits (?!) of a long-distance relationship

[gwendolyn]

J is coming down to visit me tonight. Late, probably around 10pm. So, I''ve got 10 or 11 hours to go until he gets here. I haven''t seen him in almost two months, so I am VERY excited. Had a hard time sleeping last night even!

I still have about 1800 words to write for the chapter of my thesis that I''m working on, and it needs to get done before J gets here (because I''m not doing any work once he *is* here!

).

So what have I been doing this morning? Not working. Feeling giddy like it was our first or second date, more like!

Did the whole she-bang with the beauty routine this morning (face mask, exfoliate feet, shave almost everything, paint toenails, moisturize feet with special stuff, moisturize rest of self). Picked out a cute outfit after trying a few on. Chose a cute bra with matching panties. (TMI? haha too late!) Cleaned not only my rings (which I do almost every day) but also my diamond studs (which get neglected sometimes since I never take them out).

So! Although I am *very* excited at the prospect of J and I moving in together as opposed to doing this long-distance thang any longer (been over 3.5 years!), I have to admit that there are some perks to it. The reunions after the long breaks away from each other are just divine.

Thanks for letting me share in my high-school-girl excitement with y''all.

 

[icekid]

Date: 5/18/2008 7:01:33 AM
Author:gwendolyn

So! Although I am *very* excited at the prospect of J and I moving in together as opposed to doing this long-distance thang any longer (been over 3.5 years!), I have to admit that there are some perks to it. The reunions after the long breaks away from each other are just divine.

Thanks for letting me share in my high-school-girl excitement with y'all.

Long distance reunions certainly do make fun times!

The problem though is that it can make it the transition to all day, everyday somewhat difficult at first. You get so used to every time you're together being super exciting. Annnnd then you move in together... and think something is wrong. And something IS wrong, because your man is unhappy because he doesn't get to drink with his friends every night anymore. Okay, maybe that was just my ex and me

Enjoy your time with your man, Gwen! Oh.. and get your damn work done first!

 

[Ms.Dreamy]

Ha ha, gwendolyn, you remind me soooo much of myself

I''ve never had a long-distance relationship... so I''m no great help for that topic. But when it comes to finding a million other things to do instead of writing my thesis I am a real expert!

 

[gwendolyn]

Yeah, I am so bad with this work stuff...am just so excited that he will be here tonight!

Ugh, am only at 3519 words written and I need 5000 before he gets here...way to have made almost no progress, me!

 

[Ms.Dreamy]

I don''t now if it helps if I tell you that my thesis is around 15''000 words and has to be handed in in less than 24 hours?

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/18/2008 10:15:42 AM
Author: Ms.Dreamy
I don''t now if it helps if I tell you that my thesis is around 15''000 words and has to be handed in in less than 24 hours?

That''s both exciting and terrifying! Well done!!

Mine will be 20,000 and is due (in its preliminary state) on June 16th, but won''t be handed in (in its final incarnation) until July 14th. Which is good, since I only have *looks* 3653 words total and would fail if I was turning it in sooner.

 

[purrfectpear]

OK you two, back away from the forum

Have fun tonight Gwen !!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/18/2008 10:23:24 AM
Author: purrfectpear
OK you two, back away from the forum

Have fun tonight Gwen !!!

Hahah, yes Mom!

Oh, and I will.

 

[Ms.Dreamy]

Date: 5/18/2008 10:22:48 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 5/18/2008 10:15:42 AM

Author: Ms.Dreamy

I don''t now if it helps if I tell you that my thesis is around 15''000 words and has to be handed in in less than 24 hours?

That''s both exciting and terrifying! Well done!!

Mine will be 20,000 and is due (in its preliminary state) on June 16th, but won''t be handed in (in its final incarnation) until July 14th. Which is good, since I only have *looks* 3653 words total and would fail if I was turning it in sooner.

Thanks... have still a lot of work to do

Well, then it''s not a big deal if you take your time for other (more important

) things today! Have a great time with your BF

!!!

 

[that_someone_special]

How exciting!! I had one serious LTR and I couldn''t do it. We always had $500-$1000 phone bills and couldn''t see each other enough. We took a break, I started dating other people, and now he is engaged to this girl that used to STALK HIM while we were dating. Rawr. It takes a lot of someone to feel secure enough to maintain this kind of relationship for so long-- so I must say-- I admire you!! Have fun and don''t do anything I wouldn''t do. Which isn''t much. haha

 

[stryeyes102]

Oh, reunions are so the best arent they?!?!
Make sure you give him that first kiss that makes him go weak at the knees!

Have fun tonight!

p.s- I know exactly what your going through; I have yet to find my perfect outfit for when my J comes home.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Have fun Gwen and finish your work!!

 

[onedrop]

Gwen! Have a great time during the reunion!! Your thread made me a bit nostalgic for the goodold days I had. I know exactly how you feel in that I was in an Int''l LDR for 2.5 years. While I would never do it again...I think doing so at the time made me and our relationship a lot stronger. I really began to appreciate DH in a different way than I would have had we had the "typical" day-to-day-seeing-each-other type of relationship. I remember vividly getting prepared for our reunions by have a day of pampering.

Enjoy yourself!!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Thanks, chicas!

He got in safely last night around 9:15pm and is currently snoozing away. He is so good for stress relief! Anyway, I just wanted to pop in quickly to say a) thanks for your well-wishes! and b) I ended up with about 4400 words, which I figure is fine (even though it isn''t 5000) since it''s a rough draft.

We are going out to lunch with some of my friends today, and then going out for an afternoon cream tea either tomorrow or Wednesday! And I think we''re doing a picnic! Yay!

 

[claireabelle]

Gwen, I so know how you feel - my BF works away as an engineer at a mine in central Queensland, Australia. That''s about 3 days drive from where i am in Sydney.

His continuous roster is 3 weeks away and 6 days home. He has been doing this for nearly 2 years. It''s so hard being apart so much but the financial benefits are great - we purchased our first home last year and never would have been able to do so if we didn''t make the sacrifices that we''ve made.

I think the distance has made us stronger than ever - and actually gave us both a bit of independence (which we really needed as we got together so young!)

It also makes you appreciate them more when you get to see them again (you make me laugh with the bra and panties! hehe... just like me!)

Anyway I''ll stop crapping on....


I just wanted to say that I hope you guys enjoy your time together.... and I hope we won''t be seeing as much of you on PS for the next few days

 

[monarch64]

Dear Gwennie, DH and I did the LD thing (only 3 hours, but totally different cities--Indianpolis and Chicago) for four months. We hated it, but loved it at the same time...we firmly believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Dh (michael) is in sales and travels all the time, and I''m iin retail and have horrendous hours! We rarely see each other, and we had to learn how to make the most of our schedules and stop resenting that we weren''t spending enough time together but realize that we needed to make the most of the time we did get to spend together!! It all works out in the end, I promise. We don''t have children yet, but we have two dogs who take up a lot of our attention...we just have to work around dogs, our friends, our families, and take time for ourselves. When we do make sure to take that personal time it is wonderful!!! It will be the same for you, you just have to work it all out.

 

[dinkster]

I completely relate about a LDR. Though, I haven''t been with my BF for as long as you have been Gwen. I do completely relate. One of my LDR''s even brought me from IL to Northern CA, and now, I''m back in another LDR with a man from CA after I moved back to IL. (Figures right?

)

Anyways, it''s difficult, but rewarding. I told myself that after my first LDR, that I would never get back into another LDR, but as the friendship progressed into a relationship, I didn''t want to cut if off. We''ve both agreed though this is hard, that it''s worth it. Our relationship is built on knowing each other and being able to talk for hours on end. And when we see each other, it''s great, but not a "vacation" either, as we know that a relationship/marriage isn''t a 24/7 party going sight seeing, and such. It''s been about 6 weeks since we''ve seen each other, and I''m headed there for Memorial Weekend, and cannot wait.

To all the ladies, and Gwen who are in a LDR, keep it up!

 

[TravelingGal]

As you know, TGuy and I had a LDR from Los Angeles to Australia for 2 years.

Benefits? Hm...that I got to visit Oz a lot?

For me, the heart wrenching good byes outweighed the euphoric hellos. As soon as the first kiss was had, I heard the tick tick tick of the clock. 9 more days together. 4 more days together. 2 more days together. He leaves tomorrow. He leaves in 3 hours. I''m a relatively happy go lucky girl, but there was an air of sadness about me during our time together. Probably because after a 6 year on again off again LDR with someone in NJ, I couldn''t believe I was DUMB enough to sign up for this AGAIN...but this time in a LDR situation that was way worse!!

Yes, reunions were wonderful...on the eves of our reunions, I tingled from my head to my toes. But in my LDR, I remember far more acutely how my heart ached when I talked to him on the phone because he sounded so CLOSE...but yet I couldn''t meet him in 15 minutes for a cup of coffee.

I try to remember those feelings when I want to KILL him these days!

I am glad yours isn''t as far a LDR as mine was...hang in there and enjoy your time together!!

 

[Just_Me]

Ooh very exciting!
I have been in a couple of LDR so I know the feeling!

 

[Delster]

Date: 5/19/2008 2:49:24 PM
Author: TravelingGal
As you know, TGuy and I had a LDR from Los Angeles to Australia for 2 years.

Benefits? Hm...that I got to visit Oz a lot?

For me, the heart wrenching good byes outweighed the euphoric hellos. As soon as the first kiss was had, I heard the tick tick tick of the clock. 9 more days together. 4 more days together. 2 more days together. He leaves tomorrow. He leaves in 3 hours. I''m a relatively happy go lucky girl, but there was an air of sadness about me during our time together. Probably because after a 6 year on again off again LDR with someone in NJ, I couldn''t believe I was DUMB enough to sign up for this AGAIN...but this time in a LDR situation that was way worse!!

Yes, reunions were wonderful...on the eves of our reunions, I tingled from my head to my toes. But in my LDR, I remember far more acutely how my heart ached when I talked to him on the phone because he sounded so CLOSE...but yet I couldn''t meet him in 15 minutes for a cup of coffee.

I try to remember those feelings when I want to KILL him these days!

I am glad yours isn''t as far a LDR as mine was...hang in there and enjoy your time together!!

Ouch. I can identify with this way too much

The sad parts always outweigh the good bits for me.

Gwen hope you''re having a wonderful time with J, enjoy every minute!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/19/2008 2:49:24 PM
Author: TravelingGal
As you know, TGuy and I had a LDR from Los Angeles to Australia for 2 years.


Benefits? Hm...that I got to visit Oz a lot?


For me, the heart wrenching good byes outweighed the euphoric hellos. As soon as the first kiss was had, I heard the tick tick tick of the clock. 9 more days together. 4 more days together. 2 more days together. He leaves tomorrow. He leaves in 3 hours. I''m a relatively happy go lucky girl, but there was an air of sadness about me during our time together. Probably because after a 6 year on again off again LDR with someone in NJ, I couldn''t believe I was DUMB enough to sign up for this AGAIN...but this time in a LDR situation that was way worse!!


Yes, reunions were wonderful...on the eves of our reunions, I tingled from my head to my toes. But in my LDR, I remember far more acutely how my heart ached when I talked to him on the phone because he sounded so CLOSE...but yet I couldn''t meet him in 15 minutes for a cup of coffee.


I try to remember those feelings when I want to KILL him these days!

I am glad yours isn''t as far a LDR as mine was...hang in there and enjoy your time together!!

Oh, I''ll be crying my head off when he leaves on Thursday morning; it gets harder every time to say goodbye. Breaks my heart every time. But that stuff is easy enough to remember without help--I''m trying to focus on the positives, since I think we are just about done with the LDR thing. After almost 3 years of being 3000+ miles apart and then being 200+ miles apart since September, I''m more than ready for the LRD part of this relationship to be over.

 

[gwendolyn]

...and he''s gone.

 

[claireabelle]

awww babe, so sorry. I know how you feel...

chin up!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/22/2008 4:05:42 AM
Author: claireabelle
awww babe, so sorry. I know how you feel...


chin up!

Thanks, sweetiepie.

I cried, as per usual, even though last night before bed I booked train tickets to go up and see him in 3 weeks, and it''s always easier to say goodbye when I know for sure when we''ll see each other next. We used to be in different countries (me in the US, him in the UK) and we''d have to say goodbye for who knows how long, and that was the WORST. There was nothing solid to look forward to, just a general feeling of "eventually." And I am not a fan of "eventually."

Anyway, I hope he is driving safely back as I type this. I, on the other hand, am feeling rather ill and am going to try to get a bit more sleep before starting my day!

Thanks again for your empathy, my darlin''. I know you know how I feel!

By the way, you are absolutely gorgeous! What a killer smile you''ve got there (and a very cute little doggy as well).

 

[Delster]

Gwen, thinking of you! Take care hon, big hugs. Hope he made it home safely.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/22/2008 7:39:51 AM
Author: Delster
Gwen, thinking of you! Take care hon, big hugs. Hope he made it home safely.

Thank you, sweetness!

He did make it back safely--texted me to let me know so I wouldn''t worry if anything happened to him. Normally I''m not a huge worrywart when it comes to people driving, but lots of drivers in England (especially around Cambridge) scare the crap out of me--they zip around so fast, cut people off all the time, nearly run down all the bikers (who are crazy also), don''t look when they change lanes, have no idea how to drive in roundabouts--insanity!!

So yeah, I''m glad he got back home safely.

 

[claireabelle]

Date: 5/22/2008 4:21:31 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 5/22/2008 4:05:42 AM

Author: claireabelle

awww babe, so sorry. I know how you feel...



chin up!

Thanks, sweetiepie.

I cried, as per usual, even though last night before bed I booked train tickets to go up and see him in 3 weeks, and it''s always easier to say goodbye when I know for sure when we''ll see each other next. We used to be in different countries (me in the US, him in the UK) and we''d have to say goodbye for who knows how long, and that was the WORST. There was nothing solid to look forward to, just a general feeling of ''eventually.'' And I am not a fan of ''eventually.''

Anyway, I hope he is driving safely back as I type this. I, on the other hand, am feeling rather ill and am going to try to get a bit more sleep before starting my day!


Thanks again for your empathy, my darlin''. I know you know how I feel!


By the way, you are absolutely gorgeous! What a killer smile you''ve got there (and a very cute little doggy as well).

I can''t begin to imagine an International LDR... the time difference must have been a killer. You may as well be on different planets. Are you both based in England now? ... you''re getting there!

Do you struggle with finding routine in your life? I feel constantly unsettled and ''temporary'' because my life is swapping and changing with my BF''s ''roster''. It''s so hard... like a double life.

oh... and thanks for the compliment - you made my day. I do look deliriously happy there - I was laughing at my pup! She''s a cutie... hehe

Anyway, hope these next three weeks fly for you, hon!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/22/2008 8:57:17 AM
Author: claireabelle
I can''t begin to imagine an International LDR... the time difference must have been a killer. You may as well be on different planets. Are you both based in England now? ... you''re getting there!

Haha, sometime it really did feel like we were on different planets--such completely different worlds and lives we were living. The time different wasn''t as bad as it could''ve been (I was on the East Coast of the US, so only 5 hours difference), but it was still problematic trying to find a good time to talk when one of us shouldn''t have been in bed, what with work schedules and whatnot. I''m currently getting my master''s degree in England, so yeah, we''re in the same country now! And the plan is that we''ll live here this coming year (since I can get a work visa, since I''ll be graduating from uni here), and then move to the US together. He''s a sweetie--he says he''d happily be married to me now so if I wanted to go back home in a couple of months, we could do it, but I want us to live together first before we get married. But I think it''s so so cute that he is ready.

Do you struggle with finding routine in your life? I feel constantly unsettled and ''temporary'' because my life is swapping and changing with my BF''s ''roster''. It''s so hard... like a double life.

I have that feeling because of grad school more than because of J''s and my relationship. I had to work to put myself through college, so I''ve had at least one job since I was about 18 (I''m now 30). It''s *so* unsettling to not have work lined up for me yet, and getting work in another country is difficult! So that''s the cause of my worry about feeling unsettled and temporary. But I can understand how living around his roster makes you feel unsettled. Maybe when you guys are in a good place financially, he can stop this type of shift?

oh... and thanks for the compliment - you made my day. I do look deliriously happy there - I was laughing at my pup! She''s a cutie... hehe

Anyway, hope these next three weeks fly for you, hon!

Well, that compliment was nothing but the truth--you are just beautiful! It isn''t just that you look happy because of your sweet pup.

I hope these next 3 weeks fly by for me too--not just to see J, but because, in 3 weeks, I should be mostly done with the first draft of my dissertation! Woohoo!!

 

[Delster]

Date: 5/22/2008 8:09:39 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Thank you, sweetness!

He did make it back safely--texted me to let me know so I wouldn't worry if anything happened to him. Normally I'm not a huge worrywart when it comes to people driving, but lots of drivers in England (especially around Cambridge) scare the crap out of me--they zip around so fast, cut people off all the time, nearly run down all the bikers (who are crazy also), don't look when they change lanes, have no idea how to drive in roundabouts--insanity!!

So yeah, I'm glad he got back home safely.

Oh gosh. When I drive in England I'm always so impressed that everyone behaves themselves, particularly on roundabouts! Seriously over here about 60% of drivers go STRAIGHT over roundabouts with complete disregard for the lanes. I'm always muttering to myself 'it's a ROUNDabout you idiot, you go AROUND it!"

People drive like they're blinkered. If it's not in front of them, they ignore it. They sometimes appear so shocked to discover a car in the lane next to them!

But I digress. So glad to hear he made it home safely. Hope he rests up now, must have been a long drive!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/22/2008 9:25:00 AM
Author: Delster
Oh gosh. When I drive in England I'm always so impressed that everyone behaves themselves, particularly on roundabouts! Seriously over here about 60% of drivers go STRAIGHT over roundabouts with complete disregard for the lanes. I'm always muttering to myself 'it's a ROUNDabout you idiot, you go AROUND it!'

People drive like they're blinkered. If it's not in front of them, they ignore it. They sometimes appear so shocked to discover a car in the lane next to them!


But I digress. So glad to hear he made it home safely. Hope he rests up now, must have been a long drive!

Haha, that's funny, since my opinion is the opposite (probably because I'm used to stop signs and traffic lights and no bikes on the road). I always think in my mind that Ireland has better drivers--I drove from Dublin to Shannon and it was the easiest, loveliest drive ever! Of course, it was the middle of the night so there were hardly any people around...so maybe I shouldn't be so generous in my opinions of Irish drivers?