The benefits (?!) of a long-distance relationship

[Delster]

All I''ll say is, unless you want to revise your opinion of Irish drivers, never attempt that route - or any route really! - in the middle of the day

 

[claireabelle]

Gwendolyn,

Sounds like the last few years have been both hectic and productive for you. I''m sure you''ll have no problems finding work... what industry are you in?

I''m also studying at the moment, hence Paddys shift work... we''re also struggling a bit with the financial ''reality check'' that comes with a mortgage. But I figure if you make sacrifices young and work hard... it will all pay off down the track.

So I guess J is a MIW, then? hehe how cute. It''s wonderful to have someone so committed and up front about it. Will you have the opportunity to live together properly in the UK... or will it have to wait til the US? I think living together first is a great idea. It''s another stage of the relationship that you get to enjoy before making that final leap.

 

[claireabelle]

Date: 5/22/2008 9:25:00 AM
Author: Delster

Date: 5/22/2008 8:09:39 AM

Author: gwendolyn


Thank you, sweetness!

He did make it back safely--texted me to let me know so I wouldn''t worry if anything happened to him. Normally I''m not a huge worrywart when it comes to people driving, but lots of drivers in England (especially around Cambridge) scare the crap out of me--they zip around so fast, cut people off all the time, nearly run down all the bikers (who are crazy also), don''t look when they change lanes, have no idea how to drive in roundabouts--insanity!!

So yeah, I''m glad he got back home safely.

Oh gosh. When I drive in England I''m always so impressed that everyone behaves themselves, particularly on roundabouts! Seriously over here about 60% of drivers go STRAIGHT over roundabouts with complete disregard for the lanes. I''m always muttering to myself ''it''s a ROUNDabout you idiot, you go AROUND it!''

People drive like they''re blinkered. If it''s not in front of them, they ignore it. They sometimes appear so shocked to discover a car in the lane next to them!


But I digress. So glad to hear he made it home safely. Hope he rests up now, must have been a long drive!

Even worse than English and Irish motorists are... Australian motorists trying to drive in England or Ireland.

We are USELESS (or at least I am). The streets are so winding and narrow... half the time I found myself on the footpath. And as for roundabouts... they''re basically non existent. Dots in the middle of the road... (We''re used to roundabouts the size of UFO''s)

I think your opinions could well be a result of the overwhelming population of Australians taking over the roads and leaving a trail of chaos and road rage wherever they go!!

 

[Delster]

Ah yes, those dots on the ground. We call them the flowerpot roundabouts. As in, until someone puts a flowerpot on top of it, it doesn't count as a roundabout!

In BF's home town he regularly sees old farmers in for the day on their tractors, driving the wrong way around the roundabouts. They just take the most direct route - makes perfect sense!

And my Mam once had the experience of being driven by a senior gentleman who mounted the kerb and drove the entire street that way until he reached a roundabout - which he went around in the wrong direction!

Oh and my Dad never did a driving test. He just had to prove he had a car and they issued him with a license. Miraculously though, Dad is aware of roundabouts. Sort of

ETA - Just had a thought... are my Dad and all those lovely old gentlemen... undercover Aussies???

 

[claireabelle]

Date: 5/22/2008 10:16:11 AM
Author: Delster
Ah yes, those dots on the ground. We call them the flowerpot roundabouts. As in, until someone puts a flowerpot on top of it, it doesn''t count as a roundabout

In BF''s home town he regularly sees old farmers in for the day on their tractors, driving the wrong way around the roundabouts. They just take the most direct route! And my Mam once had the experience of being driven by a senior gentleman who mounted the kerb and drove the entire street that way until he reached a roundabout - which he went around in the wrong direction!


Oh and my Dad never did a driving test. He just had to prove he had a car and they issued him with a license. Miraculously though, Dad is aware of roundabouts. Sort of

ETA - Just had a thought... are my Dad and all those lovely old gentlemen... undercover Aussies???

Well then, I think the Irish have it! haha

flowerpot roundabouts... I like it. Roundabout Gnomes could be cute, too.

 

[dinkster]

Date: 5/22/2008 4:21:31 AM
Author: gwendolyn
and it''s always easier to say goodbye when I know for sure when we''ll see each other next.

I know that''s what gets me through the goodbyes. Tomorrow I''m going to be able to see my bf, and I know that again, the moment I land, the clock will be ticking until I have to fly back. But, I know that I''ll get to see him 2 weeks after that. And well, after the first weekend in June, then the wait of wondering which weekend we''ll see each other next begins.

But you are right...knowing when you''ll see each other next helps a little (not much) with the goodbyes.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/22/2008 9:57:51 AM
Author: claireabelle
Gwendolyn,


Sounds like the last few years have been both hectic and productive for you. I''m sure you''ll have no problems finding work... what industry are you in?


I''m also studying at the moment, hence Paddys shift work... we''re also struggling a bit with the financial ''reality check'' that comes with a mortgage. But I figure if you make sacrifices young and work hard... it will all pay off down the track.


So I guess J is a MIW, then? hehe how cute. It''s wonderful to have someone so committed and up front about it. Will you have the opportunity to live together properly in the UK... or will it have to wait til the US? I think living together first is a great idea. It''s another stage of the relationship that you get to enjoy before making that final leap.

I''m in education--I''ve been teaching for 10 years in the US (music for 8 and recently teaching as an assistant in special education), and the education system is different here in the UK, so finding work has been challenging so far. But the plan is that I''ll get a job in one of the big cities here in the UK (even though I''m not really a city girl) and J will get a new job in that city (probably London but maybe Manchester) and we will get a place together and FINALLY live together like a normal couple!! Hooray!!!! (Most of my friends are all married and have been living together for years!) I am so excited to start a life with my MIW.

Delster: LOL, next time I''m in Ireland, I''ll have to venture out during the day to see what the roads are really like there!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/22/2008 10:32:00 AM
Author: dinkster

Date: 5/22/2008 4:21:31 AM

Author: gwendolyn

and it''s always easier to say goodbye when I know for sure when we''ll see each other next.

I know that''s what gets me through the goodbyes. Tomorrow I''m going to be able to see my bf, and I know that again, the moment I land, the clock will be ticking until I have to fly back. But, I know that I''ll get to see him 2 weeks after that. And well, after the first weekend in June, then the wait of wondering which weekend we''ll see each other next begins.


But you are right...knowing when you''ll see each other next helps a little (not much) with the goodbyes.

Dinkster, I hope you have a WONDERFUL visit with your boyfriend!

I know the clock is always there in the background for me too, but I think I prefer it when I forget (which almost never happens), even just for a little while, and relax like we have all the time in the world--like we''re not long-distance, not international. Of course, waking up to the realization that that isn''t the case yet is always a bit jarring, but still, it''s nice while it lasts.

Have a safe flight, and a lovely time.

 

[Bia]

Sorry your man had to leave...

I give it up to you both for being able to do LD for so long. BF and I were LD for 1 year, although we weren''t serious at the time. Finally, we had enough and so I moved! I hope that soon you two can do the same.

*Hugs* from me to you Gwennie.

 

[aliciagirl]

I stumbled on this thread way late, Gwen, but I''m glad the two of you had a nice time! I definitely know that sinking feeling when it''s time for one of us to leave. =( I''m almost out of this LD madness... September for me. One of the advantages for now, is that it allows me to really focus on my schoolwork, which I certainly wouldn''t be doing if he were around. I love the reunions after it''s been awhile. I wonder what the... uh, um... bedroom situation will be like once we see each other every day... I''m sure it will definitely be different.

It''s getting really tough for me because he moved into "our" place last week. We picked out and bought furniture, painted, decorated, everything. So, I feel like he''s living in "home" and I''m in limbo! It''s hard when I leave now because I''m leaving our place for my place... and I much prefer our place! Haha.

Only 3 weeks until the next visit! Keep thinking of all the advantages! I know it''s gets tough.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/22/2008 3:13:43 PM
Author: Bia
Sorry your man had to leave...

I give it up to you both for being able to do LD for so long. BF and I were LD for 1 year, although we weren''t serious at the time. Finally, we had enough and so I moved! I hope that soon you two can do the same.



*Hugs* from me to you Gwennie.

Thanks, honey! Yeah, it''s harder to up and move when you live in different countries, so it took us some time to figure out that it was worth the effort of staying together across the distance and then figuring out where we could move and how. But now we''re on that track! In July or August, we should be getting our first apartment together here in England!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/22/2008 5:32:29 PM
Author: aliciagirl
I stumbled on this thread way late, Gwen, but I''m glad the two of you had a nice time! I definitely know that sinking feeling when it''s time for one of us to leave. =( I''m almost out of this LD madness... September for me. One of the advantages for now, is that it allows me to really focus on my schoolwork, which I certainly wouldn''t be doing if he were around. I love the reunions after it''s been awhile. I wonder what the... uh, um... bedroom situation will be like once we see each other every day... I''m sure it will definitely be different.


It''s getting really tough for me because he moved into ''our'' place last week. We picked out and bought furniture, painted, decorated, everything. So, I feel like he''s living in ''home'' and I''m in limbo! It''s hard when I leave now because I''m leaving our place for my place... and I much prefer our place! Haha.


Only 3 weeks until the next visit! Keep thinking of all the advantages! I know it''s gets tough.

Hey, aliciagirl! I know exactly what you mean about focusing on schoolwork--I get *nothing* done when J is here. Which is ok for visits, since he''ll only be around a few days and I can get my stuff done (or nearly done

) before he arrives. But if we were living together, it would be more difficult to focus, at least until we fell into the routine of living together and it was a given the other would always be around. I can imagine that it will take a bit of time for us to feel that way, after having 3.5 years of "OMGOMGOMG I get to see J!!!!!!!!"

September is close! And I am *SO* envious that you have a little nest waiting for you--I would actually be mucho less stressed overall if there was a secure, stable environment waiting for me at the end of all this. Right now life feels like it''s in a state of suspended chaos because I have no job lined up, no place to live, no way to pay my bills--nothing! So even though I am sure it''s hard to leave it, it''s great that you have that lined up for you.

 

[Bia]

Love the new pic! You and honey look adorable together. Gotta love those Brits! I especially love me a british accent, that's for sure!

Speaking of British...Last night my BF surprised me with Front Row (well actually I think its like ROW S, but in the front!) tickets at Madison Square Garden to see one of my all-time favorite bands--THE CURE! Yay! I am so excited...June 20th!

Can't wait!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/23/2008 2:04:54 PM
Author: Bia
Love the new pic! You and honey look adorable together. Gotta love those Brits! I especially love me a british accent, that''s for sure!

Speaking of British...Last night my BF surprised me with Front Row (well actually I think its like ROW S, but in the front!) tickets at Madison Square Garden to see one of my all-time favorite bands--THE CURE! Yay! I am so excited...June 20th!

Can''t wait!

Hehe, that''s awesome, Bia! I love The Cure too!!! ''Lullaby'' is one of my most favourite songs ever, and I have to say, before I came over here for grad school, I would smirk to myself every time ''London Calling'' came on the radio within earshot.

 

[Bia]

Date: 5/23/2008 5:06:57 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 5/23/2008 2:04:54 PM

Author: Bia

Love the new pic! You and honey look adorable together. Gotta love those Brits! I especially love me a british accent, that''s for sure!

Speaking of British...Last night my BF surprised me with Front Row (well actually I think its like ROW S, but in the front!) tickets at Madison Square Garden to see one of my all-time favorite bands--THE CURE! Yay! I am so excited...June 20th!

Can''t wait!

Hehe, that''s awesome, Bia! I love The Cure too!!! ''Lullaby'' is one of my most favourite songs ever, and I have to say, before I came over here for grad school, I would smirk to myself every time ''London Calling'' came on the radio within earshot.

Ha! Yup...good one! Disintegration is my favorite album BY FAR but "Wish Impossible Things" is my favorite song. If that one doesn''t make you want to slit your throat after a break up...I don''t know what will!!! Such a downer I am!

You''re lucky, I have always secretly fantasized about living in the UK, but NY will just have to do.

 

[NickiDrea]

Well I can only speak for me, but my long-distance relationship was VERY beneficial to me.

Long story short: I was in Boston, going to law school and feeling extremely sad and depressed because I was single (it''s a hard dating world out there for women in general, but try dating as a young black female law student- it''s about 10x worse!) and missing Philly. My big sister was worried about me being so lonely, so she gave me the phone number of one of her co-workers, Abe, who lived in Philly. I didn''t call him for like 4 months (dummy!) because I am not too keen on the blind set-up thing. Anyway, there was a blizzard in Boston one weekend, and I was stuck at home. I was bored, so I figured why not call Abe? I called him... and we talked for 8 hours that day... and the next day... and the next day... and the next day. We also e-mailed each other ALL day long (I had a laptop, wireless internet at school and free time in class because I was a senior at this point). We talked every single day for 6-8 hours for MONTHS. He told me EVERYTHING about himself, and I did the same with him. We first became best friends, and we eventually fell head over heels in love- without ever seeing each other in person.

I moved back to Philly in 2006 and we have been inseparable since then. We got engaged earlier this year and we are getting married next September.

The long-distance thing worked for us and we credit it for making our relationship the paradise that it is. We didn''t reject each other for superficial "looks" reasons (although we are VERY attracted to each other and it''s basically a fact that he''s very handsome) and we got to know EVERYTHING about each other BEFORE meeting in person. When we finally met in person it was like we''d known each other for years. I know everything about him, he knows everything about me, and we know each other better than we know ourselves. In some ways we''re like the same person, in others, we''re totally different. And I never would have known it if we hadn''t met each other long-distance!

It also weirdly turns out that his best friend was my RA in college (he was also a friend of mine) and that we probably crossed paths a million times on campus without realizing it.

Of course I should point out that long-distance worked well for us because I knew that I was moving back to Philly in the not too distant future... it was easy to stick with it because we knew we''d be together in person in a few months.

 

[Bia]

Date: 5/27/2008 2:20:55 PM
Author: NickiDrea
Well I can only speak for me, but my long-distance relationship was VERY beneficial to me.

Long story short: I was in Boston, going to law school and feeling extremely sad and depressed because I was single (it''s a hard dating world out there for women in general, but try dating as a young black female law student- it''s about 10x worse!) and missing Philly. My big sister was worried about me being so lonely, so she gave me the phone number of one of her co-workers, Abe, who lived in Philly. I didn''t call him for like 4 months (dummy!) because I am not too keen on the blind set-up thing. Anyway, there was a blizzard in Boston one weekend, and I was stuck at home. I was bored, so I figured why not call Abe? I called him... and we talked for 8 hours that day... and the next day... and the next day... and the next day. We also e-mailed each other ALL day long (I had a laptop, wireless internet at school and free time in class because I was a senior at this point). We talked every single day for 6-8 hours for MONTHS. He told me EVERYTHING about himself, and I did the same with him. We first became best friends, and we eventually fell head over heels in love- without ever seeing each other in person.

I moved back to Philly in 2006 and we have been inseparable since then. We got engaged earlier this year and we are getting married next September.

The long-distance thing worked for us and we credit it for making our relationship the paradise that it is. We didn''t reject each other for superficial ''looks'' reasons (although we are VERY attracted to each other and it''s basically a fact that he''s very handsome) and we got to know EVERYTHING about each other BEFORE meeting in person. When we finally met in person it was like we''d known each other for years. I know everything about him, he knows everything about me, and we know each other better than we know ourselves. In some ways we''re like the same person, in others, we''re totally different. And I never would have known it if we hadn''t met each other long-distance!

It also weirdly turns out that his best friend was my RA in college (he was also a friend of mine) and that we probably crossed paths a million times on campus without realizing it.

Of course I should point out that long-distance worked well for us because I knew that I was moving back to Philly in the not too distant future... it was easy to stick with it because we knew we''d be together in person in a few months.

Very cool story...Congrats on your upcoming wedding!