The green eyed monster

[ckrickett]

I know what your feeling.
Friends of ours got engaged and I''m super happy for them, but I want it so bad that sometimes I''m like GAAH!
Then again they have been going out for like 7 years and we have only been going out for 2 so, I can''t REAALLLLY justify being jealous, but I still am!

Welcome, and I hope your stay is short and sweet.

 

[KatM]

Date: 1/27/2009 12:03:16 PM
Author: janinegirly
These are good points (not to be jealous since other''s situation may not be as ideal is it seems) but I also think it''s important to validate your feelings--meaning if you''re feeling really upset, sad, losing confidence because of an extended waiting period, it''s to be expected! I''m not talking about situations where you''ve only been dating 1 year and wanted to be married 2 years ago--I mean if you have a healthy relationship that has hit all the milestones including talks about futures/wanting marriage/kids/finances...and are just waiting and waiting. Well then your feelings are valid and you don''t have to always try to bury them or feel like they are wrong. If you resort to nagging and pressure--yes it''s going to possibly make things worse, but on the other hand you also need to feel comfortalbe expressing how you are feeling. That for me was the toughest piece to balance!

Sorry for the slight tangent, but just a different view since in some cases (NOT this one, just in general), the guy IS waiting too long and hurting the relationship because too much stalling can lead to resentment which is not a healthy way to start things out. It''ll creep up in other areas (jealousy, short temperdness, inability to enjoy the little moments/anniversaries,etc.), but it''s often the same thing.

oh, i definitely agree and i hope i didn''t minimize the op''s feelings at all. i''m not feeling the pressure so much right now, and i forget sometimes that other people are.

 

[Toreo]

Date: 1/26/2009 3:22:51 PM
Author: tlh
Oh it hit me, HARD. before i got engaged, I would hear about all these people''s happy stories and I''d be happy for them (heck, I wanted the same happieness!) but then I''d come home and pout. Seriously throw little girl temper tantrums... and roll around on the floor and what not.

My poor (nowDH) probably thought I was possessed by the devil.

I did it half in jest, but partly to show EXTERNALLY the EXTREME levels at which I was upset that it hadn''t happened yet. I dont think anyone thinks it really is that hard until they see you stomping your feet and what not. I would sing songs in the shower so loud that my (nowDH) could hear me... ''He doesn''t love me, I am all alone. We share a place, but I''ve got no stone.'' Over and Over... I''d mix it up... add stories about other people... and it drove me nuts. It eventually drove him nuts, beacuse 3 months of that he had enough, and proposed. I had silently suffered for over TWO YEARS, and occassionaly asked, the polite questions... where do you see us? do you want to go look at rings? I''d like to be engaged within a year, blah blah blah, before I just resorted to full blown temper tantrums. I figured with that behavior I''d get a response, either a breakup, or a ring. I guess it worked in my favor... because it is pretty funny to see a grown woman wailing and rolling on the floor.

AHAHAHA... I love this. I am such a lurker but had to log in just to comment on this. Did you make that song up or is that a real song?? LOL Soooo funny!!