The infamous “THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME”

[FrekeChild]

Date: 3/24/2009 5:58:19 PM
Author: TheBigT
See, you say ''without sounding condescending,'' but you kind of do sound condescending, or at least a little naive. I think it''s a mistake to think that women ''base their entire life off of emotions,'' whatever that means. Obviously, not all women are the same, nor are all women emotional or ''addicted to their emotions.'' I think it''s almost a little offensive to suggest that all women are the same, overly emotional beings.

Since the rest of your post seems to stem from your own misguided conclusion, I won''t address it.

I have to agree here. Being that I took a class exclusively on "Psychology of Women", and this "addition to emotions" never was discussed.

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 3/25/2009 6:56:20 PM
Author: JasonFaber

Date: 3/25/2009 6:26:03 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 3/25/2009 3:54:53 PM
Author: purrfectpear
I think it''s sort of funny how many PS women have jumped Jason''s case and told him how offensive and off base his post is.


Seriously, do you read the same LIW forum that I read

While there are plenty of smart independent cookies here, there is also no shortage of addlebrained, focused on ''the ring'' and ''the engagement'' only, women who post here. I don''t have much respect for those women, but I''m not going to pretend they don''t exist. Maybe Jason''s future FI falls into that category

Sure, those women exist. And maybe his girlfriend is one of those women. But he didn''t start out his post talking about how his girlfriend was really emotional -- he started by talking about how women ''base their lives off emotions,'' which is a sweeping generalization. He then edited his post to tone it down a bit when he realized what a sweeping generalization he''d made, but perhaps a prudent approach would have been to ask the question about his specific situation, which is what happened a few posts later.

I really do not want to turn this into a flame thread

, but I did know that some would take my posting in a stern mannor. It does seem to me as well that some here make out the word ''emotions'' as something that is bad. It really isn''t, it is what separates us from animals or even the robots that we create. Without emotions, we really would not know the full potential of what GOD has given us, and it just so happens that (in general) women seemed to have tapped into this more then men. (haven''t you heard the roomers of what would happen to a guy if he felt the same ''pleasures'' as women?) I am actually a bit jealous.

No, emotions are not a bad thing. What people took offense to was the idea that women are controlled by emotions while men are logical.

You see men have just as many emotions as women and women are just as logical as men. Just because they don''t always see eye-to-eye or understand each other''s emotions/logic doesn''t mean the other one is lacking those aspects.

 

[JasonFaber]

Although I do not agree with everyone, I do respect and appreciate all of your responses. I also did not realize that "a while" has meant years for some, as I thought that a month or two (after I bought the ring) was a long time (sorry). My question, whether if the anticipation(emotions) that come from the "suspense" of waiting can add a fair amount of extra spunk, excitement, or drama to a woman's life, has been answered for the most part (thx to the bold responses

).......It's ok as long as it doesn't last TOO long.


Now to figure out a way to do it when she leasts expect it.........

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 3/25/2009 7:50:31 PM
Author: JasonFaber
Although I do not agree with everyone, I do respect and appreciate all of your responses. I also did not realize that ''a while'' has meant years for some, as I thought that a month or two (after I bought the ring) was a long time (sorry). My question, whether if the anticipation(emotions) that come from the ''suspense'' of waiting can add a fair amount of extra spunk, excitement, or drama to a woman''s life, has been answered for the most part (thx to the bold responses

).......It''s ok as long as it doesn''t last TOO long.



Now to figure out a way to do it when she leasts expect it.........

Any ideas on how you want to do it? You know we always love to hear that kind of stuff.

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 3/25/2009 6:56:20 PM
Author: JasonFaber

Date: 3/25/2009 6:26:03 PM

Author: TheBigT

Date: 3/25/2009 3:54:53 PM

Author: purrfectpear

I think it''s sort of funny how many PS women have jumped Jason''s case and told him how offensive and off base his post is.



Seriously, do you read the same LIW forum that I read

While there are plenty of smart independent cookies here, there is also no shortage of addlebrained, focused on ''the ring'' and ''the engagement'' only, women who post here. I don''t have much respect for those women, but I''m not going to pretend they don''t exist. Maybe Jason''s future FI falls into that category

Sure, those women exist. And maybe his girlfriend is one of those women. But he didn''t start out his post talking about how his girlfriend was really emotional -- he started by talking about how women ''base their lives off emotions,'' which is a sweeping generalization. He then edited his post to tone it down a bit when he realized what a sweeping generalization he''d made, but perhaps a prudent approach would have been to ask the question about his specific situation, which is what happened a few posts later.

I really do not want to turn this into a flame thread

, but I did know that some would take my posting in a stern mannor. It does seem to me as well that some here make out the word ''emotions'' as something that is bad. It really isn''t, it is what separates us from animals or even the robots that we create. Without emotions, we really would not know the full potential of what GOD has given us, and it just so happens that (in general) women seemed to have tapped into this more then men. (haven''t you heard the roomers of what would happen to a guy if he felt the same ''pleasures'' as women?) I am actually a bit jealous.

Unfortunately, we can''t control the manner in which people regard what we write.

I don''t know what "flame thread" is, but I certainly didn''t attack you personally, I simply informed you that the viewpoints you expressed were offensive to me, and no doubt to other women. I don''t see "emotions" as bad, but rather, I found it distasteful that you chose to use statements that were rife with (potentially offensive) gender stereotypes to preface a question about your specific situation. I''m all for emotions; I just think you mischaracterize women (and men), as a whole.

 

[JasonFaber]

Date: 3/26/2009 3:31:00 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 3/25/2009 7:50:31 PM
Author: JasonFaber
Although I do not agree with everyone, I do respect and appreciate all of your responses. I also did not realize that ''a while'' has meant years for some, as I thought that a month or two (after I bought the ring) was a long time (sorry). My question, whether if the anticipation(emotions) that come from the ''suspense'' of waiting can add a fair amount of extra spunk, excitement, or drama to a woman''s life, has been answered for the most part (thx to the bold responses

).......It''s ok as long as it doesn''t last TOO long.



Now to figure out a way to do it when she leasts expect it.........

Any ideas on how you want to do it? You know we always love to hear that kind of stuff.

Well, we both love walking outside. So, I was going to take her (hopefully this saturday, but it might rain) to Chicago''s Botanic Gardens where there are many beautiful and intimate places to propose. I also think it would be nice to meet up with family friends after, but this is of course ALL depending on the weather.

 

[Erin]

Date: 3/25/2009 12:44:05 PM
Author: JasonFaber

I would love to do it this Saturday actually, seeing as her mother is comming into town, but I still cannot think of a single ''perfect'' place to do it that would be good enough.

If she doesn''t see her mom often, then do it before Saturday so she can bask in the enjoyment and pride and happiness with her mother also. That would be very thoughtful timing.

 

[tlh]

Date: 3/26/2009 10:34:11 AM
Author: Starset Princess

Date: 3/25/2009 12:44:05 PM
Author: JasonFaber

I would love to do it this Saturday actually, seeing as her mother is comming into town, but I still cannot think of a single ''perfect'' place to do it that would be good enough.

If she doesn''t see her mom often, then do it before Saturday so she can bask in the enjoyment and pride and happiness with her mother also. That would be very thoughtful timing.

I agree.

Did you see the office where Jim and Pam were walking and he bends down to tie his shoe? Even if he had proposed then... it would have been perfect. They were alone, it was sweet, and sincere... of course for the show, it turned into a joke... but I think as long as your proposal is from the heart, and reflective of who you two are and what she wants... it will be perfect.

besides... I''ve known many a lady to be thrown off by a midweek proposal! Plus they then get to go into work the next day... and go... LOOOOOOOKIE!!! I AM ENGAGED, HE DID IT I AM SOOOO HAPPY! and then... she gets to do the same thing with her mother there!

 

[tlh]

I actually saw a proposal go down midweek... during my LIW period. I WAS SOO JEALOUS.

He took her on a walk. it was during dusk. (This is where I saw things happen..) He had a friend line up luminaries.. to a park table... w/ choc strawberries, champagne, and rosepetals EVERYWHERE... pink and white ones.. it was sooo pretty... (the friend was out of sight and just watched in a car on the hill until he saw his friends walking up) and then he walked her there... and she had a cute little sundress on... he was dressed like he just got off of work... and she started crying and kissing. Yup I totally watched like a peeping tom... and punched my BF in the arm saying... WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WAITING FOR I HATE YOU! EVEN COMPLETE STRANGERS GET ENGAGED BEFORE US...

but my complaining aside... it was BEAUTIFUL... ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.. and me a mere spectator... was sooo jealous. (and it was a pretty isolated spot.. and no they couldn't see me... me and my now DH were walking our dogs... sooo cute!)

 

[chocolatefudge]

Haven''t read every single reply so sorry if I''m repeating anyone but as someone who has been waiting in excess of four years I would like to say that I am way past thrilled and now almost at the point of resentment and bitterness. I now worry that upon being proposed to I will be thinking "Finally!" Rather than the excitement I always thought I would feel. I can''t shake the feeling that I often feel ''past'' wanting it which is so strange as I love my boyfriend and want to be with him but after waiting for so long for it and being disappointed so many times I just seem to have been put off it!

I don''t know how long you are planning on dragging it out but to me the fact that my boyfriend isn''t as desperate to propose to me as I am for him to do it just makes me feel unloved (silly I know) and hurt.

It''s your life but I find it strange that you find such enjoyment from seeing your girlfriend so anxious. Surely the euphoria of being engaged is so much more appealing than worried, anxious etc?

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 3/26/2009 1:55:33 PM
Author: chocolatefudge
Haven''t read every single reply so sorry if I''m repeating anyone but as someone who has been waiting in excess of four years I would like to say that I am way past thrilled and now almost at the point of resentment and bitterness. I now worry that upon being proposed to I will be thinking ''Finally!'' Rather than the excitement I always thought I would feel. I can''t shake the feeling that I often feel ''past'' wanting it which is so strange as I love my boyfriend and want to be with him but after waiting for so long for it and being disappointed so many times I just seem to have been put off it!


I don''t know how long you are planning on dragging it out but to me the fact that my boyfriend isn''t as desperate to propose to me as I am for him to do it just makes me feel unloved (silly I know) and hurt.


It''s your life but I find it strange that you find such enjoyment from seeing your girlfriend so anxious. Surely the euphoria of being engaged is so much more appealing than worried, anxious etc?

He was only talking of a couple of months vs. this weekend, not years and years--although I did ask him to clarify what he meant by "a while" for the lovely ladies who HAVE been waiting for years and are, I trust Jason would agree, justifiably losing patience.

 

[JasonFaber]

Date: 3/26/2009 1:55:33 PM
Author: chocolatefudge
Haven''t read every single reply so sorry if I''m repeating anyone but as someone who has been waiting in excess of four years I would like to say that I am way past thrilled and now almost at the point of resentment and bitterness. I now worry that upon being proposed to I will be thinking ''Finally!'' Rather than the excitement I always thought I would feel. I can''t shake the feeling that I often feel ''past'' wanting it which is so strange as I love my boyfriend and want to be with him but after waiting for so long for it and being disappointed so many times I just seem to have been put off it!

I don''t know how long you are planning on dragging it out but to me the fact that my boyfriend isn''t as desperate to propose to me as I am for him to do it just makes me feel unloved (silly I know) and hurt.

It''s your life but I find it strange that you find such enjoyment from seeing your girlfriend so anxious. Surely the euphoria of being engaged is so much more appealing than worried, anxious etc?

Is that 4 years after you have talked about getting married, or 4 years of dating? I am only asking because dating for 4 years is not that uncommon now days, but if he said he wants to marry you and that was 4 years ago then it sounds like more serious issues (like he only said that to keep you happy, but his intentions are otherwise different), unless he just plain does not have money for a ring....