The Official TTC Thread!

[SMC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Huff, I think my first would have been just as smitten if we'd had a boy. Any baby would have been fine by her!

I just wrote a really long post about my mental transition from one to two (and how I can't seem to make the mental shift to number three), but it was very me-centric. So to sum it up, I found that because we'd always agreed to have 2 (and agreed that they would be 2-3 years apart), I was always in the mental state of wanting a second, even right after our first was born. And because all of my HUGE life adjustments happened with the first, I didn't have nearly as tough of a time with number 2. We already had all the stuff. We already had a really solid routine. We'd already changed our lives. And we are very lucky that we had a naturally sweet older sister coupled with a very easy baby, which is completely out of our control. Even as they've gotten older (and are involved in a lot more activities), it's still fairly easy for DH and I to split up for activities and reconvene for meals/naps.

I had a lot of fear before having our first. Remember the hundreds of hours you spent researching all the stuff you need? And thinking about how completely different your life would be once it revolved around meal times and nap times? And the CPR classes, the sleep-training books, the L&D courses at the hospital? That's all reserved for baby #1. When it comes to baby #2, your primary fear is how it's going to affect your first.

I can't tell you when you know if you're ready because I'm too much of a planner--it truly determines my mental state, which is...probably not healthy. I can't seem to do things by feel very well, if that makes any sense. It seems like if you're a little open to a second now, that feeling will probably grow with time. And I wish you tons of tons of luck!

NEL, thanks for your post! It was reassuring so read that it's not sooooo hard. Going into this procreation business, I knew that we were going to have 2 minimum, and I want them to be ~2 years apart as well. It's surprising how fast the first year has gone!

Huff, I understand how you feel about your son. My daughter R is an easy baby as well and my husband and I have taken to calling her our "trick" baby because she's tricking us into having another. Everyone tells me that if you have an easy baby, the second one is going to be a terror. I also can't fathom how I'd love another child as much as I love my first, but I've heard that love multiplies instead of divides. I also think a sibling would be really good for R, so we want to do it for her as well.

TBH, and this is going to sound super vain but I can be honest on the internet, I'm also worried about gaining weight and never losing it. I gained 45 lbs with my 1st and it took me 6 months of hard work to lose it and get back into my pre-preg clothes. I'll have even less time for myself with another child. Multiple people have told me that it's much harder to lose weight after your second child, and some people just never bounce back (I look at my mother as an example).

Regardless, we are going to start trying again in 2016!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Huff, I can't remember, but did you struggle to conceive your first or did it happen pretty quickly? If it happened pretty quickly, then you probably have a lot more flexibility and ability to plan. Your son is still quite young and your body is still likely recovering after the difficult pregnancy and complicated birth, so if you don't feel 100% sure just yet, then it wouldn't hurt to wait awhile to start trying again (unless you have fertility issues, then it's a different story obviously). We started trying for a second when my son was about 6 months because we knew it would likely be difficult to conceive. It was, and we didn't end up conceiving our twins until just after my son turned 2. I had no doubt I wanted more children, but even so, like others, as I got closer to having my twins, I worried about how it would affect my son. However, he handled it amazingly (even with one of our twins having special needs and spending a lot of time in the hospital), and I know without a doubt, giving him siblings is the best gift we could've given him. Not that there is anything wrong with having an only child if that is what someone chooses to do or if they only have one because they are unable to have another one. But I do think my son is learning valuable lessons about the world and sharing his things and time with mom and dad and that the world doesn't revolve around him, which he probably wouldn't have learned as easily without siblings. He was pretty much the center of the universe before. Plus,he will have his brother and sister throughout his life God-willing. I went straight from 1 to 3, so that was crazy town, but I do think that if we had just had one baby, it would have been a relatively easy transition. You definitley do not have the same experience as you did with your first baby. You just don't have the luxury of obsessing about every little thing and making every moment magical. Things are a bit crazier, but there is nothing like seeing your children interact with each other. I felt even more like we were a "family" after the twins were born.

We are currently contemplating whether our family is complete. I have a couple of frozen embryos remaining and feel pulled to give them a shot at life, but I also feel like we have our hands completely full with the three kids we have and am not sure I really want to go through the whole TTC thing again (or the pregnancy and baby phase if we were successful). I keep going back and forth. DH was all gung ho about having another, but recently, he is pulling back a bit. So who knows what will happen. Our plan is to make that decision by the end of 2016.

 

[blackpolkadot]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Huff It was definitely a hard decision for us to go from 1 to 2, especially since my pregnancy was hard and complicated and ended early. We initially wanted kids ~2 years apart, but we just couldn't make the decision to try to get pregnant for that age gap to work. I had all the fears you mentioned, plus I was scared of having a toddler and another NICU baby. Finally this summer, we decided that we would 'try (we had no trouble getting pregnant with DS), but not try'.. meaning we just had fun and BD'd a lot. well, now I'm 21w with #2. I am getting to the point where I am getting more anxious about the transition to two and carrying to term. DS will be almost 3 when the new baby is born, which now I think is a great age gap. He can communicate what he wants to say (often and repeatedly, ha!) and loves to help. I'm not fooling myself into thinking he won't be jealous, but I do think he understands better what is going on. So if you just really can't decide... then I think that is a decision. I think it takes time to decide to add to your family, especially after a hard pregnancy and NICU baby.

 

[Huff26]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

NEL: We are actually very alike in that we are planners, but I am also emotional. I always planned on having 3-but what I didn't plan on was having cervical cancer at a young age. It through everything out of whack when they told me my best chances of conceiving and having baby were before 30 because the chances of relapse are somewhat high.
That being said, when we had G, we were so insanely lucky. He had a hyper twisted umbilical cord, I had a placental abruption… it was a mess. But at the same time I always wanted more- every baby commercial I see makes me ache for another. Ugh!
Thank you for the reassurance. You had me nodding my head along while I was reading and thinking that if I do get pregnant, it will be easier this time.

SMC: I still don't have my body back. There is a slight layer of what I like to call flubber on my stomach that won't quit. And honestly, I felt like crap when I was pregnant. The trick baby thing is too cute. We say all the time that G is just such a good baby- he is always so sweet and seems patient with us.


Monkeyprincess: Hi! I hope your little girl is doing well- I have followed your story and have been rooting for you. We actually went back and forth a few times on the TTC for 6 months or more thread because we had been NTNP for awhile and I had the cancer background.
To answer your question, it didn't take long for us to conceive. 2 cycles. BUT, we were using Clomid, preseed, I was on Keto and Metformin. With my history I don't have a long time to decide- so it mass it more stressful.

This may be an odd and horrible question, please don't hold it against me. If you aren't ready to have more, could you possibly donate to a family who can't make their own? I don't know if that's done or if it's morally wrong- it was just a thought I had.

blackpolkadot: I agree with you that it takes time to make the decision and I wish we had a year or two to decide. I guess my fear is that I don't want outside factors to decide it for me. That because I waited so long we can't anymore.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Huff, that's right, I remember your situation now. I don't know how old you are now, but I guess if there is a real concern that you are running out of time, then that is something to consider. At least you were able to get pregnant quickly last time (albeit with help). And there's certainly no perfect time. I was upset my kids wouldn't be closer in age when I was trying for my twins, but in the end, I'm really happy with the 2 year 9 month age gap.

As for your question, it would probably be possible to donate the embryos, although they certainly aren't stellar quality and haven't been tested, so I'm not sure if they would be accepted or not. I haven't really looked into whether my clinic does any donating. I have to say though, that after having my three children, I really don't think I could handle the idea of one of DH's and my children out there being raised by a different family. It gives me a whole new level of respect for those who choose to give their children up for adoption. It's a tough call, and I think I'll have a much clearer head about in a few months when the babies are less needy and my daughter is more stable.

Okay, back to lurking!

 

[kama_s]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Those well-verses in OPKs, would you consider this a positive?

 

[evergreen]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Looks good to me!! (though, full disclosure, I'm (1) definitely not an expert and (2) have never had an OPK darker than the control line, so I made up my own definition of "positive" which is...like... darkish. That dark, for me, I'd definitely consider +!) That reminds me... I should be OPKing too. Not sure how much good the info will do me, though, with DH out of town this weekend...

 

[kama_s]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Looks good to me!! (though, full disclosure, I'm (1) definitely not an expert and (2) have never had an OPK darker than the control line, so I made up my own definition of "positive" which is...like... darkish. That dark, for me, I'd definitely consider +!) That reminds me... I should be OPKing too. Not sure how much good the info will do me, though, with DH out of town this weekend...

I think I'll do another one in a few hours and see if it gets any darker. I would tend to agree with you that it's pretty darn dark, but I am fairly new to this.

P.S.: That's been more or less my life for the past few months. I think we only got the timing right 2 out of the last 6 months as I have been travelling for work a lot recently. Same thing again next month, but hubby will be flying out (5 hour flight!) to join me. I will be staying at an amazing hotel and he intends on sightseeing whilst I am at meetings so we can get it on at night

 

[kama_s]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I tested again (exactly 4 hours since the last one) and it's definitely positive, woohoo.

 

[amc80]

Second one looks positive. Have fun!

 

[kama_s]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Second one looks positive. Have fun!

This forum needs a BD emotie

 

[random_thought]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hey everyone!

I'm not sure if this allowed but here goes lol.

A lot of you know that my main issue has been endometriosis in ttc. What some of you may not know is that I help to lead a very large non-profit organization that I helped to found after my diagnosis called the Endo Challenge.

There is a film called ENDO WHAT? coming out soon and they interviewed every possible endometriosis expert they could find and it's a huge wealth of knowledge. The end goal is to have a copy of the video in every middle school in the USA so that young girls can be diagnosed sooner and hopefully get a plan of action in place so the disease does not progress as severely as it could.

A film like this could have saved my hopes and dreams of becoming a mother if I had seen it in 1998 and gotten the correct diagnosis. Recently, I found out my right tube is blocked with endometriosis. 8 months ago I had a completely clear HSG. It can progress that fast.

If you want to make a difference and help, please vote for this film at http://www.indiewire.com/article/vote-for-indiewires-project-of-the-year-20160111 Voting ends tomorrow so get your vote in soon!

Thanks for reading and please return to your regularly scheduled baby dancing

 

[blingbunny10]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

This may be TMI, forgive me.... but is anyone else TTC and dealing w/ sizable fibroids and side effects? I had some tests done due to abdominal pain/pressure and was told I probably have fibroids, which are causing pain and some other issues. I know they're extremely common and usually harmless, but does anyone else have experience with them? I can feel myself starting to freak myself out about how they could interfere with TTC and pregnancy, and it's just adding to my anxiety!

I'd be particularly interested in hearing about non-surgical treatments that have actually worked. It's frustrating that there seems to be no treatment options unless you are done having kids.

 

[ladyciel]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

This may be TMI, forgive me.... but is anyone else TTC and dealing w/ sizable fibroids and side effects? I had some tests done due to abdominal pain/pressure and was told I probably have fibroids, which are causing pain and some other issues. I know they're extremely common and usually harmless, but does anyone else have experience with them? I can feel myself starting to freak myself out about how they could interfere with TTC and pregnancy, and it's just adding to my anxiety!

I'd be particularly interested in hearing about non-surgical treatments that have actually worked. It's frustrating that there seems to be no treatment options unless you are done having kids.

I am, blingbunny. I found out about mine in the fall, and I've since posted about them a few times, mostly over in 6 months TTC. Unfortunately, I have not found any scientifically supported information to suggest non-surgical methods to reduce fibroids that don't also interfere with TTC. If you are willing/able to forego TTC for a while, sometimes birth control pills can reduce them. For MOST women, fibroids on the inside of the uterus, or large fibroids within the uterine wall that are big enough to distort the shape of the cavity, are the only type that are thought to (sometimes, maybe) interfere with fertility. That said, I strongly suspect my subserosal (outside the uterus) fibroids have caused us problems TTC. HOWEVER, the particular conditions of my case are, well, a perfect storm. My large (5-6cm each) fibroids were diagnosed during efforts to determine why I was having significant spotting, both before AF and after intercourse. It turns out my uterus is tipped, and one of the fibroids (now removed) was hanging on a stalk off the back of it. It was buried down low in my pelvis, acting like an anchor and immobilizing my uterus. Post surgery, it seems it has significantly helped my spotting, especially post-BD spotting. I had surgery because my doctor was very concerned that if I got pregnant, the random combination of my tipped uterus + that fibroid could result in uterine incarceration. Because it was on a stalk, she was able to remove it laparoscopically through my belly button back in November. We had to wait 6 weeks for me to heal, and we just got back to TTC. Sadly, I got the news this week that our first month back was a bust. I still have a second (6cm) fibroid she left in place, as it is draped over the front of my uterus and would require a c-section type surgery to remove. That recovery would be 6-8weeks before I could return to work, and possibly longer before we could TTC, so I am hoping to avoid its removal for the time being. My doctor isn't concerned about its being there during pregnancy. If we do manage to get pregnant it will require monitoring, but the increased risks are not worth stressing about (nor the risk of surgery just for peace of mind). I'm discovering that fibroid by itself is still enough to give me bulk symptoms, but I can live with them for the time being.

Really, when it comes to fibroids (and polyps), size, location, number, and your anatomy are really what will determine your symptoms and whether they cause you issues (in general and/or with having a baby). Because it really is so individual, I would definitely talk with your doc about where they are located, their size/number, and how they're likely to impact things (now and in the future). Also, their location and size will dictate how much surgery would be required to remove them (and if surgery is likely to be of any help, at least for TTC). My lap wasn't any fun, but it's 2 months later and I feel completely normal again (minus the bulk symptoms from the bugger still in there).

Hope I haven't scared you!

 

[blingbunny10]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

ladyciel - Thanks so much for taking the time to respond and share your story. I'm glad you were able to successfully remove what sounds like the more problematic fibroid and that recovery went smoothly. It is a bit scary, but also good to hear from others who are worrying about these things. I don't really have any close friends who have reached the TTC stage yet, and come from a background where we don't really go the gyno/doctor regularly, so it's all kind of new and scary.

I do have another gyno appointment next week and plan to discuss the fibroids and my own retroverted uterus as well (I just found out about that last week). Surgery does seem unnecessary in my case unless the fibroids interfere with TTC, but ughh the ongoing pain and other symptoms are no fun, as you know!

 

[amc80]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hey everyone!

I'm not sure if this allowed but here goes lol.

A lot of you know that my main issue has been endometriosis in ttc. What some of you may not know is that I help to lead a very large non-profit organization that I helped to found after my diagnosis called the Endo Challenge.

There is a film called ENDO WHAT? coming out soon and they interviewed every possible endometriosis expert they could find and it's a huge wealth of knowledge. The end goal is to have a copy of the video in every middle school in the USA so that young girls can be diagnosed sooner and hopefully get a plan of action in place so the disease does not progress as severely as it could.

A film like this could have saved my hopes and dreams of becoming a mother if I had seen it in 1998 and gotten the correct diagnosis. Recently, I found out my right tube is blocked with endometriosis. 8 months ago I had a completely clear HSG. It can progress that fast.

If you want to make a difference and help, please vote for this film at http://www.indiewire.com/article/vote-for-indiewires-project-of-the-year-20160111 Voting ends tomorrow so get your vote in soon!

Thanks for reading and please return to your regularly scheduled baby dancing

Thanks for sharing, I'll be on the lookout!

 

[SMC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Ok, I'm getting ready to start TTC. However, I'm still breastfeeding and my period hasn't returned yet. My daughter turns 1 on in less than 2 weeks so I plan to stop pumping and will gradually stop nursing too. Any advice on how to go about TTC'ing without a relevant LMP? Just BD every other day?

 

[amc80]

Ok, I'm getting ready to start TTC. However, I'm still breastfeeding and my period hasn't returned yet. My daughter turns 1 on in less than 2 weeks so I plan to stop pumping and will gradually stop nursing too. Any advice on how to go about TTC'ing without a relevant LMP? Just BD every other day?

After I weaned, I knew I was ovulating based on EWCM. So either BD every other day (or every 3 days), or keep track of your CM.

 

[random_thought]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Since nobody ever goes in TTCA6M anymore, I'll post my update here lol.

This was my original post after the consultation with the new RE-
"Alright gang, got my bloodwork back. The good news is that every test for pcos came back as negative. I likely do not have it. So that's fun. But at least it is all sorted out now. The GREAT news is that my FSH score came back as excellent! Super news if we go forward with IVF for sure and really just in general.

So, just waiting to find out where we go from here from the doctor."

This was the next update-
"Just got the best email EVER!!

I emailed Dr. B, Your left tube is open therefore we can still do an IUI cycle as long as you ovulate on the left side. Dr. Bush also recommends that you have a SHG procedure done to evaluate possible polyps prior to seeing him. This procedure like the HSG will need to be done cycle day 6-12. Please let me know if you have any questions."

And that's kind of where I'm at. I did the glucose test to completely rule out pcos and am waiting for DH to schedule a SA in February. I have to do the sonohystogram in February as well to double check for polyps before we start prepping for IUI in March. I'm so excited I can barely contain it!

 

[amc80]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Congrats, RT! That's great news!

 

[SMC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Good luck RT!

 

[random_thought]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Thanks gals

 

[blingbunny10]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Had to add a little rant:

Went in for another appt and the waiting room was FULL of lovely pregnant ladies. I was just in for a checkup and preconception visit, which the receptionist couldn't seem to understand. She finally said, loudly enough for all to hear, "So this isn't your first prenatal then? YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT RIGHT NOW, right?"

Sheesh. I'm not dealing with major TTC issues yet (knock on wood), but you'd think a receptionist at an OBGYN office would be more sensitive about the possibility. I already felt out of place as the only patient in the room who was not visibly pregnant.

 

[amc80]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

People are so rude.

I was getting my beta checked for this last pregnancy. The receptionist at the lab asked if I had gotten a positive pee test. I said yes, like 5 of them. "THEN WHY ARE YOU GETTING A BLOOD TEST? THAT DOESN'T SEEM NECESSARY."

Um, because I've had THREE early losses and I'd like to make sure my beta is rising. WTF, lady.

 

[blingbunny10]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

amc80 - Ugh I'm sorry! I'm not a fan of our hyper PC, sensitive society these days, but in this case, I would definitely sign these ladies up for sensitivity training.

 

[random_thought]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I just wanted to pop in to share my good news! I had a SHG to check for any polyps. I had this done last year and they found a bunch of polyps and removed them during a laparoscopy. I'm super excited that they didn't come back! At least one thing going our way amirite

 

[amc80]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Great news, RT!

 

[ladyciel]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

RT, that's awesome!

Blingbunny and AMC, it amazes me how people can work in an OB office and be so thoughtless sometimes. Obviously not every patient passing through their doors has a history made of sunshine and rainbows, and when it's not those, it's often sadness of the rawest, most emotional kind. During my visit during which I found out about my fibroids and that I definitely needed surgery (discovered while trying to diagnose my bleeding and trouble TTC, things I was already a wreck about), I had to sit in the waiting room after my HSG until the doc was ready to sit down and talk with me about what they found. I knew something was up, my doc's face looked serious...but nothing else. I was surrounded by pregnant ladies, new moms with their newborns in tow, all of them cooing over each others' babies and bellies, and my troubles were invisible to the room unless they could read the sadness and worry on my face. Thankfully the staff in the office has never been anything but professional, but if somebody had said something so thoughtless to me in that moment, I'm sure it would have broken the floodgates and they would have gotten an earful.

I've been scarce around here, trying not to focus too much on TTC to keep my sanity. Today, my sanity is shot. I'm 9dpo, BFN wondo this morning, but yesterday I felt a few weird twinges, I went to bed early because I suddenly felt drugged I was so tried, my temp jumped this morning up to 99.3 (it typically maxes at 99 or 99.1 during my LP, was 99 yesterday and 99.1 the day before), and I'm feeling a bit crampy this morning. No spotting, not even a rosy tint. Last month my LP was only 11 days and I spotted that last day, so I'm trying to remind myself this could just be early AF cramping. But....cramps usually don't hit me until the day of AF. Please please please let this be something good!

 

[ladyciel]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Add hot/flushed-feeling hands to my other symptoms. It's a feeling I've only ever had in the past when I was on progesterone supplements, and it has struck on and off since around 4pm. I don't feel feverish or sick at all, just strangely aware of how warm my hands are. Tired + temp + this familiar reaction all seem to suggest my progesterone has spiked past normal. I'm both terrified and can't wait to temp and pee on a stick in the morning. If I implanted yesterday, is there any hope of seeing a bfp tomorrow, or is it too soon?

 

[amc80]

Add hot/flushed-feeling hands to my other symptoms. It's a feeling I've only ever had in the past when I was on progesterone supplements, and it has struck on and off since around 4pm. I don't feel feverish or sick at all, just strangely aware of how warm my hands are. Tired + temp + this familiar reaction all seem to suggest my progesterone has spiked past normal. I'm both terrified and can't wait to temp and pee on a stick in the morning. If I implanted yesterday, is there any hope of seeing a bfp tomorrow, or is it too soon?

I had some spotting and got a BFP the next day. Assuming it was implantation spot, next day worked for me. Good luck, I'll be checking in!