these days...2 ct is the norm ?

[Dancing Fire]

couple of my younger friends said ...their gf are expecting a 2ct Ering.

 

[slg47]

well, with my friends, etc, 2 carat is not the norm. maybe it is in some places though. a 2 carat diamond is a lot of $$$, and that was not in the cards for us! however i did read on a thread that 2 ct is the new 'standard'. I think it depends a lot on your financial situation but I would never 'expect' a 2 carat diamond!

 

[SapphireLover]

Totally depends on where you are from. For the majority of people in the UK, anything over 1 carat is considered HUGE. Even people with jobs like doctors consider 1 carat large.

 

[ksinger]

Snort. When a diamond costs more than a car, it will never be a "standard", as in common among all socioeconomic groups. So maybe in some tiny affluent sub-groups, yes, but that hardly makes it some standard. This board gives people a really skewed view of reality. NO ONE I know is as interested in diamonds as I am. Most women - past their engagement ring, don't give a rip about ever-bigger diamonds, and an even larger number of men don't care.

I do wonder though, if some women even give a rats patootie about the actual guy past the HUUUUUUGE diamond he supposedly can give her.

 

[rosetta]

In the uk: no way.

Most I see are 0.5 ct or under.

 

[crown1]

couple of my younger friends said ...their gf are expecting a 2ct engagement ring.

key word is expecting. i think there are more expecting it than are getting it in the current economy. plenty have and will get 2ct but many more are expecting it.

 

[yennyfire]

"Expecting"?? I'd be dropping those gf's asap. It's one thing to "hope" for a 2ct, but I would never want to put my bf in a situation where he knew I wanted something that he couldn't afford (comfortably) to give me.

 

[Circe]

I don't think two carats is the new norm ... but I do think it's the new aspirational size. As far as I can tell, a middle of the line two carat stone will set you back 20k or so: that's more than I earned per year when I was in graduate school! No way more than a fraction of a percent of the population (and most of them probably on here) can swing that. Buuuuuuuuut, I do think that two carats now carries all those "I made it! I'm a fancy lady!" connotations that one carat carried for years. I wonder when that changed over culturally, and what did it ....

If I was going to speculate, I'd say it's probably due to the tradition of upgrading, or getting a big anniversary ring: the ladies who wanted the one carats when they got married got two at, say, twenty years. And their kids saw them, and ... boom. We already know there's an interesting hopscotch effect where many people in my generation and the next want the interesting job now, the big house now ... so why not the bling, too? But that's just off the top of my head.

 

[rubybeth]

Yikes, I'm with yennyfire, 'expecting' a 2ct diamond? Maybe 'dreaming about' or 'hoping for'...

I also have to add: I was at a very big staff meeting yesterday with 40+ women and NOBODY had a stone that large. I'd actually wager a large amount of money that nobody even had a larger center stone than a 1/2 carat.

Now, that's in the midwest, in the middle of the state, not a large metro area, definitely not LA or NY, but I highly doubt that 2ct is the new 'normal' for a diamond engagement ring. It's allllllll relative. I love the huge diamonds I see on PS, but I know that I would feel uncomfortable with anything larger than 1.5ct (or, as wide as my 5.25 finger).

ETA: I don't think most of the general public even know what 2cts. looks like in a round, princess, other shapes you'd commonly see, and I also don't think people know exactly how much diamonds cost until they seriously consider buying. Maybe these women say 2cts. when they mean a certain mm round, which in a well-cut stone could be 1.5cts. or less?

 

[elrohwen]

I don't know anyone in my friend group with a 2ct stone - in fact, I haven't even seen many 2ct+ stones around and I don't live that far from NYC.

 

[E B]

No.

 

[Tanzigrrl]

$20,000 for 2 carats? Really? Are we talking about a round, cushion, princess, etc? If so, I'd agree. But, there are some shapes that do not cost that much. I've been looking for a 2 carat pear shaped diamond, approx, G/SI1, etc. and they're more in the $12-15K range. I would think the same is true for marquise and some of the other more "unpopular" shapes.

 

[Circe]

$20,000 for 2 carats? Really? Are we talking about a round, cushion, princess, etc? If so, I'd agree. But, there are some shapes that do not cost that much. I've been looking for a 2 carat pear shaped diamond, approx, G/SI1, etc. and they're more in the $12-15K range. I would think the same is true for marquise and some of the other more "unpopular" shapes.

True, and a good point. But, since the more affordable shapes are the "unpopular" ones, they probably don't work for considering the norm ....

That said, you've just inspired me to go and look at marquises! Hey, I'm as susceptible as the next girl!

 

[atroop711]

I think it depends on where you live. I'm in NYC and you see a huge range of sizes here in the city esp. depending on where you live. Moms at our school have what looks like 1ct up to 4-5ct. My sister lives on Long Island in a very affluent area and the rings there are what I consider huge..minimum 3ct

 

[gemgirl]

I don't think two carat engagement rings are the norm anywhere. Of course we're going to see two carats and more on the fingers of women who live in more affluent areas, but the norm? No, I definitely don't think so. I think the average size for engagement rings these days is still around a carat.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I've started to feel a little like 2 carats is the norm, but then again all of my friends/co-workers are getting engaged in their late 20's/early 30's.

 

[chemgirl]

I think it really depends on where you are and your social group. In my group (Ontario) it seems like 0.75 is around average. Some of my friends have 1 carat, but most are smaller. These are professionals (doctors, lawyers, engineers) who just don't consider jewelry to be a priority. When the topic has come up, most of my guy friends say they'd seriously rethink marrying their girlfriend if she demanded a specific size of ring, let alone anything over 10k. It would demonstrate that their priorities are really not in sync.

On the other hand, I went to visit friends near NY and their social group had a totally different attitude. Poor DH was stuck at a table full of girls talking about their future rings. They were all quoting prices and what they would be willing to "settle for" in order to marry the right guy. They were willing to settle for 1.5 carats and they all seemed to know the prices. Its just sad because their boyfriends don't make all that much and a 1.5 carat ring would be a significant portion of their annual salary. Its not up to me to say what they can afford, but 5+ months salary would be hard for anyone to save for a luxury item. DH looked horrified during the entire conversation.

 

[ksinger]

I think it really depends on where you are and your social group. In my group (Ontario) it seems like 0.75 is around average. Some of my friends have 1 carat, but most are smaller. These are professionals (doctors, lawyers, engineers) who just don't consider jewelry to be a priority. When the topic has come up, most of my guy friends say they'd seriously rethink marrying their girlfriend if she demanded a specific size of ring, let alone anything over 10k. It would demonstrate that their priorities are really not in sync.

On the other hand, I went to visit friends near NY and their social group had a totally different attitude. Poor DH was stuck at a table full of girls talking about their future rings. They were all quoting prices and what they would be willing to "settle for" in order to marry the right guy. They were willing to settle for 1.5 carats and they all seemed to know the prices. Its just sad because their boyfriends don't make all that much and a 1.5 carat ring would be a significant portion of their annual salary. Its not up to me to say what they can afford, but 5+ months salary would be hard for anyone to save for a luxury item. DH looked horrified during the entire conversation.

Pretty pathetic indeed.

 

[suchende]

Maybe they mean two carats total weight. Lots of girls I went to high school with have "two carat rings" which includes all the pave on their engagement ring and wedding ring. Maul jewelers pitch them this way, so there's some confusion.

 

[Natylad]

 

[tyty333]

2 carats isnt norm in my neighborhood. I have one of the bigger stones and its only 1.08 carat. That being said, my SIL just
got a 2 carat emerald*. They have bills to pay off and my brother has been working in afganistan so he could make enough
money to pay off the bills. After 4 years over there he says in a couple of months he will have them paid off and will be headed
home. However, they have NOT changed thier spending habits (i.e 2 carat rock). I give them 6 months and they will be
back in the same debt that made him need to take the job over there in the first place.

* I'm sure it is not all that great of a rock and they probably didnt pay anywhere near what a well cut 2 carat emerald would
have cost (well, lets hope not).

 

[NovemberBride]

When I was working in NYC as an attorney, yes I would say that 2 carats was a norm amongst my peers. But, since these were all people in their late 20's-early 30's earning well over six figures, it is not outrageous for them to spend $20,000 on a ring, and most of them did. Amongst that group, I would say the men felt as much competitive desire to buy their fiancees a 2 carat ring as the women did to receive them. I received a round solitaire just over 2 carats from my now-DH.

I now live outside Philadelphia and my ring is much larger than any of my friends or co-workers, even though many of them are also attorneys. It is just not as common for women to receive large rings here. That is not to say that there aren't huge diamonds here, because there are. I routinely see 3 and 4 carat or larger rings on older women when shopping on the Main Line or at King of Prussia mall. But in my experience most women in this area do not receive 2 carat rings as engagement rings, I would say 1.25 is probably the average size. If I had lived here when I got engaged I would have still liked a 2 carat ring because I love my ring and it is the perfect size for me, but would probably have been felt less like I was expected to receive one.

 

[Circe]

I think it really depends on where you are and your social group. In my group (Ontario) it seems like 0.75 is around average. Some of my friends have 1 carat, but most are smaller. These are professionals (doctors, lawyers, engineers) who just don't consider jewelry to be a priority. When the topic has come up, most of my guy friends say they'd seriously rethink marrying their girlfriend if she demanded a specific size of ring, let alone anything over 10k. It would demonstrate that their priorities are really not in sync.

On the other hand, I went to visit friends near NY and their social group had a totally different attitude. Poor DH was stuck at a table full of girls talking about their future rings. They were all quoting prices and what they would be willing to "settle for" in order to marry the right guy. They were willing to settle for 1.5 carats and they all seemed to know the prices. Its just sad because their boyfriends don't make all that much and a 1.5 carat ring would be a significant portion of their annual salary. Its not up to me to say what they can afford, but 5+ months salary would be hard for anyone to save for a luxury item. DH looked horrified during the entire conversation.

Pretty pathetic indeed.

Really? Wow.

Now, I might be out of the loop or something, but I have never in my life heard anybody say something like this. I always figured that the free-floating stereotype of women saying things like that was grounded in the image of women as shallow, superficial, gold-diggers, etc. I don't doubt that those women exist (I mean, furries exist - infinite diversity in infinite combinations, and all that). I just ... didn't figure there were enough of them in any given social group to fill a table. But like attracts like, so ... anyway, now I'm just rambling.

What I'm wondering, I guess, is how does that mindset work? Is it in any way, shape, or form related to who they're actually dating? Because, okay, fine, if you're dating somebody who pulls in half a mil a year, given the popular notion that guys spend X months salary, I guess you're not insane or entitled if you're anticipating a honker. Or is it a nice way of saying (watch as Circe attempts to do math!) that if a 2 carat ring costs 20K (ish), and you want a 20K ring, you refuse to date anybody who earns less than 100K a year?

 

[Tanzigrrl]

Circe - my mom's former e-ring is a 1.01 carat I color, VS2 marquise diamond. It faces up so large. Marquise isn't my favorite shape, but it sure does give a lot of bang for the buck. A 2 carat would look huge, I'm sure

 

[gemgirl]

I think it really depends on where you are and your social group. In my group (Ontario) it seems like 0.75 is around average. Some of my friends have 1 carat, but most are smaller. These are professionals (doctors, lawyers, engineers) who just don't consider jewelry to be a priority. When the topic has come up, most of my guy friends say they'd seriously rethink marrying their girlfriend if she demanded a specific size of ring, let alone anything over 10k. It would demonstrate that their priorities are really not in sync.

On the other hand, I went to visit friends near NY and their social group had a totally different attitude. Poor DH was stuck at a table full of girls talking about their future rings. They were all quoting prices and what they would be willing to "settle for" in order to marry the right guy. They were willing to settle for 1.5 carats and they all seemed to know the prices. Its just sad because their boyfriends don't make all that much and a 1.5 carat ring would be a significant portion of their annual salary. Its not up to me to say what they can afford, but 5+ months salary would be hard for anyone to save for a luxury item. DH looked horrified during the entire conversation.

Pretty pathetic indeed.

Really? Wow.

Now, I might be out of the loop or something, but I have never in my life heard anybody say something like this. I always figured that the free-floating stereotype of women saying things like that was grounded in the image of women as shallow, superficial, gold-diggers, etc. I don't doubt that those women exist (I mean, furries exist - infinite diversity in infinite combinations, and all that). I just ... didn't figure there were enough of them in any given social group to fill a table. But like attracts like, so ... anyway, now I'm just rambling.

What I'm wondering, I guess, is how does that mindset work? Is it in any way, shape, or form related to who they're actually dating? Because, okay, fine, if you're dating somebody who pulls in half a mil a year, given the popular notion that guys spend X months salary, I guess you're not insane or entitled if you're anticipating a honker. Or is it a nice way of saying (watch as Circe attempts to do math!) that if a 2 carat ring costs 20K (ish), and you want a 20K ring, you refuse to date anybody who earns less than 100K a year?

I know this sounds bazaar but there are some women who *do* demand a certain size. While we're not talking about two carats here, my husband's SIL received a .70 pt e-ring from her intended (my husband's half brother). Her sister who was getting engaged a few months later, said she wouldn't accept anything less than a carat. Yep, there are pretty demanding women out there. All of the talk at his SIL's bridal shower was all about the sister and her newer, bigger e-ring. I was grateful to only have to be there for half of that shower.

 

[ForteKitty]

I was at a NYE party where several girls said they'd settle for 2ct diamonds. Center stone only. They said the "norm" is now 3 months salary, gross... not net!

so yea.. it was pretty disgusting.

 

[Circe]

I know this sounds bazaar but there are some women who *do* demand a certain size. While we're not talking about two carats here, my husband's SIL received a .70 pt e-ring from her intended (my husband's half brother). Her sister who was getting engaged a few months later, said she wouldn't accept anything less than a carat. Yep, there are pretty demanding women out there. All of the talk at his SIL's bridal shower was all about the sister and her newer, bigger e-ring. I was grateful to only have to be there for half of that shower.

I guess it's the "wouldn't accept" part that has me scratching my head.

Is that like, "I will say no, we will not get married, we will, in point of fact, break up, and I will find a dude with more money for bling," or is it more like "I have strong preferences about jewelry, so I'd like it if you could go lower on clarity for more carat weight, and, oh, I'll chip in if necessary." If it's the former, it's abhorrent. If it's the latter ... well, if I criticized, it would so be the pot calling the kettle black. I'm picky about jewelry, and I get that - it's the implication of a budget demand more than a specific-jewelry-thing demand that is giving me the creeps.

This may be the one and only time I've felt like a babe in the woods on here. I am sheltered! Sheltered, I tell you!

 

[Amethyste]

2 CT in NH is DEFINATELY NOT THE NORM!!!!

Who would "expect" to rcd a 2CT for an engagement ring? Is that kind of "expectation" a little worrisome? Wow... I am shocked!

 

[chemgirl]

I think it really depends on where you are and your social group. In my group (Ontario) it seems like 0.75 is around average. Some of my friends have 1 carat, but most are smaller. These are professionals (doctors, lawyers, engineers) who just don't consider jewelry to be a priority. When the topic has come up, most of my guy friends say they'd seriously rethink marrying their girlfriend if she demanded a specific size of ring, let alone anything over 10k. It would demonstrate that their priorities are really not in sync.

On the other hand, I went to visit friends near NY and their social group had a totally different attitude. Poor DH was stuck at a table full of girls talking about their future rings. They were all quoting prices and what they would be willing to "settle for" in order to marry the right guy. They were willing to settle for 1.5 carats and they all seemed to know the prices. Its just sad because their boyfriends don't make all that much and a 1.5 carat ring would be a significant portion of their annual salary. Its not up to me to say what they can afford, but 5+ months salary would be hard for anyone to save for a luxury item. DH looked horrified during the entire conversation.

Pretty pathetic indeed.

Really? Wow.

Now, I might be out of the loop or something, but I have never in my life heard anybody say something like this. I always figured that the free-floating stereotype of women saying things like that was grounded in the image of women as shallow, superficial, gold-diggers, etc. I don't doubt that those women exist (I mean, furries exist - infinite diversity in infinite combinations, and all that). I just ... didn't figure there were enough of them in any given social group to fill a table. But like attracts like, so ... anyway, now I'm just rambling.

What I'm wondering, I guess, is how does that mindset work? Is it in any way, shape, or form related to who they're actually dating? Because, okay, fine, if you're dating somebody who pulls in half a mil a year, given the popular notion that guys spend X months salary, I guess you're not insane or entitled if you're anticipating a honker. Or is it a nice way of saying (watch as Circe attempts to do math!) that if a 2 carat ring costs 20K (ish), and you want a 20K ring, you refuse to date anybody who earns less than 100K a year?

These particular girls were friends of a friend so I don't know a lot about the situation. It was just a really odd conversation to be a part of, especially since my ring is nowhere near their standards! In my mind, it would be one thing if they were dating people who made enough that they wouldn't really feel the impact of a 2 carat ring. Still though, regardless of what their boyfriend makes, they shouldn't require him to spend a certain amount. These girls were not dating guys who earn more than 100k a year (judging by their job titles). The sense of entitlement along with the unrealistic expectations made for really disturbing dinner conversation.

I think its fine for a girl to contribute towards her own ring. I think its fine for a girl to have input and choose her own ring. I think its fine for a guy to buy a 2+ carat ring if he's comfortable with it. I just don't think its fair to expect a certain budget.

 

[partgypsy]

I live in the southeast, no definitely not the norm. I like looking at jewelry and many people around my age or younger 30's-40's with professional careers (lawyers, doctors, psychologists etc) looks like 1 carat is the norm along with inherited stones. I have 1 friend who is married to someone with big career, trust fund and I didn't ask, but it looks like around a 2 carater. But besides that and older ladies having tea at the Washington Duke, don't see many big stones.
Culturally, it seems people show their wealth through their houses and what neighborhood you live in, not in jewelry. I'm trying to buck the trend but I can't do it on my own !