This Girl Needs a COOKIE!

[TooPatient]

I'm so sorry for all of you (and all others out there) who have had people make comments about your being too thin. I'm sure that it is no easier to deal with than the comments made towards people who aren't thin.

I knew girls in high school who ate healthy diets and were super thin (size 0 were loose). I also knew girls who ate healthy and were not thin. Both of these, in my mind, are okay. Bodies are different. Some of us are naturally sturdier than others. Some are naturally slender. Making yourself sick to fit into the "right" image is NOT okay -- be that starving yourself to lose weight or stuffing yourself to gain.

My issue with the ads and media (movies, magazines, etc) is that they focus on one "right" when what is healthy and normal for one body is NOT for another. I wish they would use models who are HEALTHY. All the way from the slender to the thick and everything in between. Same for taller/shorter, blonde/brunette/redhead/etc, white/black/Hispanic/Asian/etc, larger AND smaller breasts, etc forever.

Let girls of all ages see that finding what is healthy for THEM is the best!

 

[SB621]

iLander: I too know what you meant and appreciate the fact that you said something in the first place.

Agreed Minous! I like that Ilander posted this.

I take ED very seriously as one of my best friends suffered and still does, since high school. With all the social awarness that has been going on in the last 10 years about the dangers of ED/body issues you would think the media would lighten up alittle. Whoever approved that marketing picture should be fired. That would not make me buy that dress or anything else in their catalog if that was on the cover.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I have found this thread very enlightening....
1) first off, I now know of 2 different genetic disorders: Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Marfans syndrome that I was not famliar with, but I looked up each one because I have freakishly long arms! All my shirts are worn as 3/4 sleeves because few reach my wrist.
2) I actually spread my arms acorss my 6' desk to measure my wingspan, and found out I have a 5'9" wingspan, and I'm 5'7", validating my wingspan is greater than my height.
3) I have freakishly slim forearms compared to my upper arms because I'm at a healthy weight BMI 21.5, with forearms that look like they were photoshopped like the first picture!

 

[NOYFB]

Have you all seen this? It would be awesome if this bill was passed into law. Thoughts?

https://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-liv...s-airbrushing-eating-disorders-185523412.html

 

[AGBF]

Have you all seen this? It would be awesome if this bill was passed into law. Thoughts?

https://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-liv...s-airbrushing-eating-disorders-185523412.html

I had not known about this bill. Thank you for posting the information, Lil Misfit.

Deb/AGBF

 

[AGBF]

I have found this thread very enlightening....
1) first off, I now know of 2 different genetic disorders: Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Marfans syndrome that I was not famliar with, but I looked up each one because I have freakishly long arms! All my shirts are worn as 3/4 sleeves because few reach my wrist.
2) I actually spread my arms acorss my 6' desk to measure my wingspan, and found out I have a 5'9" wingspan, and I'm 5'7", validating my wingspan is greater than my height.
3) I have freakishly slim forearms compared to my upper arms because I'm at a healthy weight BMI 21.5, with forearms that look like they were photoshopped like the first picture!

I hope that nothing I wrote frightened you, jaysonsmom. Although the length of my daughter's arms, and a couple of other Marfan-like physical features she had made her orthopedist at the time decide to have her tested for Marfan's (by an ophthalmologist and a cardiologist), her arms were never her problem. After we had seen a number of doctors and decided not to do surgery on my daughter's hips for her femoral anteversion/femoral torsion, she was followed at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City for many years. Discoveries such as her mitral valve prolapse (MVP) and her loose connective tissue were all made as many specialists over many years probed the original mysteries of her femoral anteversion syndrome!

Deb/AGBF

 

[sonnyjane]

I have found this thread very enlightening....
1) first off, I now know of 2 different genetic disorders: Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Marfans syndrome that I was not famliar with, but I looked up each one because I have freakishly long arms! All my shirts are worn as 3/4 sleeves because few reach my wrist.
2) I actually spread my arms acorss my 6' desk to measure my wingspan, and found out I have a 5'9" wingspan, and I'm 5'7", validating my wingspan is greater than my height.
3) I have freakishly slim forearms compared to my upper arms because I'm at a healthy weight BMI 21.5, with forearms that look like they were photoshopped like the first picture!

I hope that nothing I wrote frightened you, jaysonsmom. Although the length of my daughter's arms, and a couple of other Marfan-like physical features she had made her orthopedist at the time decide to have her tested for Marfan's (by an ophthalmologist and a cardiologist), her arms were never her problem. After we had seen a number of doctors and decided not to do surgery on my daughter's hips for her femoral anteversion/femoral torsion, she was followed at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City for many years. Discoveries such as her mitral valve prolapse (MVP) and her loose connective tissue were all made as many specialists over many years probed the original mysteries of her femoral anteversion syndrome!

Deb/AGBF

Interesting! I hadn't heard of Ehlers-Danlos prior to this, but my elbows do hyperextend like that, as do my thumbs! I don't have the loose skin or anything like that though. Hmmmmmm...

 

[NOYFB]

So...I've been thinking a lot about this thread and it's actually very timely for me because I've been very introspective lately regarding my own appearance

.....WARNING - THREADJACK AHEAD...

I feel like I've been judged by my appearance my whole life. During grade/middle/high school I was made fun of relentlessly due to my looks (my hair, my face, etc). However, I was very slim. So slim, in fact, that my mother had to buy my jeans from the boys section of the store because I didn't have curves.

After high school I rebelled a bit, and in order to prove to myself and others that I was attractive, I took modeling classed and later became an exotic dancer (aka stripper). Being surrounded by beautiful women and feeling as if I was "one of them" (because men were paying to see me sans clothes) satisfied my insecurities for awhile. I even had plastic surgery. However, that life is not easy to maintain, nor is it a desirable career, so after meeting DH I stopped dancing and focused on going back to school and my eventual career as a social worker.

During grad school I put on some weight. Not a huge amount, but at my highest weight I was 144 pounds. I'm 5'3 and very small boned (my thumb and pinky meet if I wrap them around my wrist). At the time, because I was so focused on my studies, I didn't even notice. However, after I saw the pictures from my grad school graduation party I was mortified. I tried several diets, none of them working because I never stuck with them long enough, and "diets" don't really work anyway. 2 years after graduation I got serious, because I was turning 40, and started working out 3-4x/week on a recumbent bike and lost 20 pounds. I was elated and celebrated by taking a cruise for my 40th birthday. I was happy with how I looked. For awhile.

Then life got in the way again and 4 years later I realized that I'd put back on 10 pounds. So, I started working out again (this was in 2012) and tracking my food religiously. I went to the gym 5-6x/week for 2 hours at a time. I was a member of My Fitness Pal, used a FitBit, and measured and weighed every bite of food I put in my mouth. It worked. I lost 34 pounds. Yes, you read that right. That means I weighed 100 pounds by the end of 2012.

But I still wasn't satisfied. I still looked in the mirror and saw myself as fat. I realized that I was probably in the beginning stages of an eating disorder, because I started to think "well, maybe if I only weighed 96 pounds the little pudge in my belly wouldn't show..." My body fat percentage went from 34% to 18%. My friends made comments. I blew them off.

Then EQ died. And I got depressed. Very depressed. I stopped going to the gym. I stopped weighing/measuring my food. I started drinking wine every night. By the end of 2013 I had gained 28 pounds.

At the beginning of this year DH and I decided to start taking care of ourselves again. It was slow at first, but I'd say that I go to the gym, on average, 3x/week now. I don't measure/weigh my food as much as I used to (maybe 20% of the time), and I don't always track every bite on My Fitness Pal. Since January, I've lost a whopping 6 pounds. Actually, I fluctuate between 122-125 on a daily basis. And it really started to get me down.

After reading this thread I realized that I am obsessed with my weight/appearance and it's not healthy. I focus on it 24/7. I think about going to the gym. I make excuses about why I should go to the gym. I make excuses about why I can't go to the gym. I obsess every day about what I'm going to wear and whether or not it will cover my fat belly. I spend hours in clothing stores searching for tunics that are long and loose enough that I can wear with leggings so that I can feel comfortable. And I know it's unhealthy. But, my past and the media have done nothing but reinforce to me that I must look a certain way to be desirable. I've spent my whole life feeling like if I'm not X number of pounds or size whatever, that I'm somehow flawed.

But...after a few days of introspection (and reading this thread) I've decided that it's time for a change. I've come to the realization that being 100 pounds is not only unhealthy, but maintaining that weight for the rest of my life is impossible. It's unrealistic and not sustainable. I've come to the realization that I'm now 45 years old and that my body is probably quite happy in the 120 pound range, and if that means that my stomach isn't washboard flat that's OK! I've realized that I have a healthy/normal BMI - 21.8. I've come to the realization that the only person that I care who finds me desirable is my DH and he does. I've come to the realization that it doesn't matter what the number on the scale is, or the size of my clothes because nobody sees those numbers but me.

So, that being said, I went to the store today and bought 3 pairs of shorts in a size bigger than I would have liked. But it's ok because now I won't stress out this spring/summer about what to wear. I have a whole closet/dresser full of shorts and dresses from 2012 that I'll probably never fit into again but that's ok, too. I'm going to continue going to the gym, because I know it's good for me. But I'm not going to weigh myself every day. Don't get me wrong, though - I'm not giving myself carte blanche to get lazy and eat 5000 calories a day! LOL I've decided that it's time to love myself for who I am and just be happy being me. I know that I'm not "fat" and I know that I'm not "perfect". But I am happy with who I am and that's all that matters.

So....sorry for the threadjack, but thank you for helping me come to these realizations this week. I hope my story will help others that may be suffering from the same negative self-talk that I was. This was very cathartic.

 

[missy]

Hugs to you lil misfit and anyone else who has ever struggled with or is struggling with some aspect of their appearance. It is tragic how our culture puts such an importance on something so superficial. How little girls (and even boys) are trained from an early age how critical one's physical attributes are and how thin (for girls/women) is "in". I thought we were improving as a nation with how respect for diversity was more appreciated these days but I see it is a long road ahead.

Personally I too have struggled with appearance during my younger years. I remember when I lost too much weight during one stressful period of my life and a surgeon I worked with (a highly educated man) was so complimentary about how wonderful I looked. I wasn't overweight to begin with and now I was looking (but I wasn't) anorexic and here he was complimenting my new too thin self. It made me ill truthfully because thankfully at that time (I was in my early twenties) I had the wherewithal to know that I was too thin and anyway, no matter my weight I was still me and I liked who I was. Didn't matter my weight or looks etc. It was/is who I am on the inside. Took a long journey to get there and many missteps along the way but I got there and that's what matters.

For anyone going through this journey don't beat yourself up for feeling whatever way you do. Be kind and good to yourself and look at yourself for the beautiful person you are on the inside because that is what matters and also love yourself for all your physical traits because they are beautiful too. There are a lot of unhealthy thin people and many healthy overweight people and vice versa too. I never judge someone on what they look like including weight and there is no "right" weight anyway. It's what works best for you. Don't buy into society's view of what is beautiful because it's full of cr*p. Thin can be beautiful, heavy can be beautiful as long as you are a beautiful person (who you are and not what you look like).

 

[NOYFB]

Thanks Missy. I agree with you 100%.

 

[sonnyjane]

So...I've been thinking a lot about this thread and it's actually very timely for me because I've been very introspective lately regarding my own appearance

.....WARNING - THREADJACK AHEAD...

I feel like I've been judged by my appearance my whole life. During grade/middle/high school I was made fun of relentlessly due to my looks (my hair, my face, etc). However, I was very slim. So slim, in fact, that my mother had to buy my jeans from the boys section of the store because I didn't have curves.

After high school I rebelled a bit, and in order to prove to myself and others that I was attractive, I took modeling classed and later became an exotic dancer (aka stripper). Being surrounded by beautiful women and feeling as if I was "one of them" (because men were paying to see me sans clothes) satisfied my insecurities for awhile. I even had plastic surgery. However, that life is not easy to maintain, nor is it a desirable career, so after meeting DH I stopped dancing and focused on going back to school and my eventual career as a social worker.

During grad school I put on some weight. Not a huge amount, but at my highest weight I was 144 pounds. I'm 5'3 and very small boned (my thumb and pinky meet if I wrap them around my wrist). At the time, because I was so focused on my studies, I didn't even notice. However, after I saw the pictures from my grad school graduation party I was mortified. I tried several diets, none of them working because I never stuck with them long enough, and "diets" don't really work anyway. 2 years after graduation I got serious, because I was turning 40, and started working out 3-4x/week on a recumbent bike and lost 20 pounds. I was elated and celebrated by taking a cruise for my 40th birthday. I was happy with how I looked. For awhile.

Then life got in the way again and 4 years later I realized that I'd put back on 10 pounds. So, I started working out again (this was in 2012) and tracking my food religiously. I went to the gym 5-6x/week for 2 hours at a time. I was a member of My Fitness Pal, used a FitBit, and measured and weighed every bite of food I put in my mouth. It worked. I lost 34 pounds. Yes, you read that right. That means I weighed 100 pounds by the end of 2012.

But I still wasn't satisfied. I still looked in the mirror and saw myself as fat. I realized that I was probably in the beginning stages of an eating disorder, because I started to think "well, maybe if I only weighed 96 pounds the little pudge in my belly wouldn't show..." My body fat percentage went from 34% to 18%. My friends made comments. I blew them off.

Then EQ died. And I got depressed. Very depressed. I stopped going to the gym. I stopped weighing/measuring my food. I started drinking wine every night. By the end of 2013 I had gained 28 pounds.

At the beginning of this year DH and I decided to start taking care of ourselves again. It was slow at first, but I'd say that I go to the gym, on average, 3x/week now. I don't measure/weigh my food as much as I used to (maybe 20% of the time), and I don't always track every bite on My Fitness Pal. Since January, I've lost a whopping 6 pounds. Actually, I fluctuate between 122-125 on a daily basis. And it really started to get me down.

After reading this thread I realized that I am obsessed with my weight/appearance and it's not healthy. I focus on it 24/7. I think about going to the gym. I make excuses about why I should go to the gym. I make excuses about why I can't go to the gym. I obsess every day about what I'm going to wear and whether or not it will cover my fat belly. I spend hours in clothing stores searching for tunics that are long and loose enough that I can wear with leggings so that I can feel comfortable. And I know it's unhealthy. But, my past and the media have done nothing but reinforce to me that I must look a certain way to be desirable. I've spent my whole life feeling like if I'm not X number of pounds or size whatever, that I'm somehow flawed.

But...after a few days of introspection (and reading this thread) I've decided that it's time for a change. I've come to the realization that being 100 pounds is not only unhealthy, but maintaining that weight for the rest of my life is impossible. It's unrealistic and not sustainable. I've come to the realization that I'm now 45 years old and that my body is probably quite happy in the 120 pound range, and if that means that my stomach isn't washboard flat that's OK! I've realized that I have a healthy/normal BMI - 21.8. I've come to the realization that the only person that I care who finds me desirable is my DH and he does. I've come to the realization that it doesn't matter what the number on the scale is, or the size of my clothes because nobody sees those numbers but me.

So, that being said, I went to the store today and bought 3 pairs of shorts in a size bigger than I would have liked. But it's ok because now I won't stress out this spring/summer about what to wear. I have a whole closet/dresser full of shorts and dresses from 2012 that I'll probably never fit into again but that's ok, too. I'm going to continue going to the gym, because I know it's good for me. But I'm not going to weigh myself every day. Don't get me wrong, though - I'm not giving myself carte blanche to get lazy and eat 5000 calories a day! LOL I've decided that it's time to love myself for who I am and just be happy being me. I know that I'm not "fat" and I know that I'm not "perfect". But I am happy with who I am and that's all that matters.

So....sorry for the threadjack, but thank you for helping me come to these realizations this week. I hope my story will help others that may be suffering from the same negative self-talk that I was. This was very cathartic.

HUGS! I was anorexic/bulimic (came in cycles) for close to 10 years. I have only been COMPLETELY episode-free for the last two years. I'm the heaviest I've ever been (not awful, but BMI of 25%), but I am at least not making myself sick anymore. One book I LOVED was this: http://www.amazon.com/Do-I-Look-Fat-This/dp/1416525920

It's a light-hearted, easy read but I do read it anytime the thoughts still creep in. The thoughts NEVER really leave you, I don't think. I think people with ED always have nagging thoughts, it's just how fast you can change the subject in your brain that matters. It also helped tremendously to talk to my husband about it. When I told him I had ED, then I started having to be accountable. I couldn't just sneak up to "shower" after meals, etc. People don't understand why I don't work out at the gym or things like that - the truth is it's a trigger, so I'll go for hikes or try to be active in a different way but the gym sets me back years, so I avoid it. The other thing that helps is sharing it as you just did. I am very open about it with people. It only has control over you if you let it, and by not keeping the secret anymore, it loses its strength. There's nothing to be ashamed of in having dealt with those thoughts. I wish everyone was as honest and open about their issues as you have just been!

 

[NOYFB]

So...I've been thinking a lot about this thread and it's actually very timely for me because I've been very introspective lately regarding my own appearance

.....WARNING - THREADJACK AHEAD...

I feel like I've been judged by my appearance my whole life. During grade/middle/high school I was made fun of relentlessly due to my looks (my hair, my face, etc). However, I was very slim. So slim, in fact, that my mother had to buy my jeans from the boys section of the store because I didn't have curves.

After high school I rebelled a bit, and in order to prove to myself and others that I was attractive, I took modeling classed and later became an exotic dancer (aka stripper). Being surrounded by beautiful women and feeling as if I was "one of them" (because men were paying to see me sans clothes) satisfied my insecurities for awhile. I even had plastic surgery. However, that life is not easy to maintain, nor is it a desirable career, so after meeting DH I stopped dancing and focused on going back to school and my eventual career as a social worker.

During grad school I put on some weight. Not a huge amount, but at my highest weight I was 144 pounds. I'm 5'3 and very small boned (my thumb and pinky meet if I wrap them around my wrist). At the time, because I was so focused on my studies, I didn't even notice. However, after I saw the pictures from my grad school graduation party I was mortified. I tried several diets, none of them working because I never stuck with them long enough, and "diets" don't really work anyway. 2 years after graduation I got serious, because I was turning 40, and started working out 3-4x/week on a recumbent bike and lost 20 pounds. I was elated and celebrated by taking a cruise for my 40th birthday. I was happy with how I looked. For awhile.

Then life got in the way again and 4 years later I realized that I'd put back on 10 pounds. So, I started working out again (this was in 2012) and tracking my food religiously. I went to the gym 5-6x/week for 2 hours at a time. I was a member of My Fitness Pal, used a FitBit, and measured and weighed every bite of food I put in my mouth. It worked. I lost 34 pounds. Yes, you read that right. That means I weighed 100 pounds by the end of 2012.

But I still wasn't satisfied. I still looked in the mirror and saw myself as fat. I realized that I was probably in the beginning stages of an eating disorder, because I started to think "well, maybe if I only weighed 96 pounds the little pudge in my belly wouldn't show..." My body fat percentage went from 34% to 18%. My friends made comments. I blew them off.

Then EQ died. And I got depressed. Very depressed. I stopped going to the gym. I stopped weighing/measuring my food. I started drinking wine every night. By the end of 2013 I had gained 28 pounds.

At the beginning of this year DH and I decided to start taking care of ourselves again. It was slow at first, but I'd say that I go to the gym, on average, 3x/week now. I don't measure/weigh my food as much as I used to (maybe 20% of the time), and I don't always track every bite on My Fitness Pal. Since January, I've lost a whopping 6 pounds. Actually, I fluctuate between 122-125 on a daily basis. And it really started to get me down.

After reading this thread I realized that I am obsessed with my weight/appearance and it's not healthy. I focus on it 24/7. I think about going to the gym. I make excuses about why I should go to the gym. I make excuses about why I can't go to the gym. I obsess every day about what I'm going to wear and whether or not it will cover my fat belly. I spend hours in clothing stores searching for tunics that are long and loose enough that I can wear with leggings so that I can feel comfortable. And I know it's unhealthy. But, my past and the media have done nothing but reinforce to me that I must look a certain way to be desirable. I've spent my whole life feeling like if I'm not X number of pounds or size whatever, that I'm somehow flawed.

But...after a few days of introspection (and reading this thread) I've decided that it's time for a change. I've come to the realization that being 100 pounds is not only unhealthy, but maintaining that weight for the rest of my life is impossible. It's unrealistic and not sustainable. I've come to the realization that I'm now 45 years old and that my body is probably quite happy in the 120 pound range, and if that means that my stomach isn't washboard flat that's OK! I've realized that I have a healthy/normal BMI - 21.8. I've come to the realization that the only person that I care who finds me desirable is my DH and he does. I've come to the realization that it doesn't matter what the number on the scale is, or the size of my clothes because nobody sees those numbers but me.

So, that being said, I went to the store today and bought 3 pairs of shorts in a size bigger than I would have liked. But it's ok because now I won't stress out this spring/summer about what to wear. I have a whole closet/dresser full of shorts and dresses from 2012 that I'll probably never fit into again but that's ok, too. I'm going to continue going to the gym, because I know it's good for me. But I'm not going to weigh myself every day. Don't get me wrong, though - I'm not giving myself carte blanche to get lazy and eat 5000 calories a day! LOL I've decided that it's time to love myself for who I am and just be happy being me. I know that I'm not "fat" and I know that I'm not "perfect". But I am happy with who I am and that's all that matters.

So....sorry for the threadjack, but thank you for helping me come to these realizations this week. I hope my story will help others that may be suffering from the same negative self-talk that I was. This was very cathartic.

HUGS! I was anorexic/bulimic (came in cycles) for close to 10 years. I have only been COMPLETELY episode-free for the last two years. I'm the heaviest I've ever been (not awful, but BMI of 25%), but I am at least not making myself sick anymore. One book I LOVED was this: http://www.amazon.com/Do-I-Look-Fat-This/dp/1416525920

It's a light-hearted, easy read but I do read it anytime the thoughts still creep in. The thoughts NEVER really leave you, I don't think. I think people with ED always have nagging thoughts, it's just how fast you can change the subject in your brain that matters. It also helped tremendously to talk to my husband about it. When I told him I had ED, then I started having to be accountable. I couldn't just sneak up to "shower" after meals, etc. People don't understand why I don't work out at the gym or things like that - the truth is it's a trigger, so I'll go for hikes or try to be active in a different way but the gym sets me back years, so I avoid it. The other thing that helps is sharing it as you just did. I am very open about it with people. It only has control over you if you let it, and by not keeping the secret anymore, it loses its strength. There's nothing to be ashamed of in having dealt with those thoughts. I wish everyone was as honest and open about their issues as you have just been!

I'll definitely check out that book. Thanks.

Again, sorry to threadjack

 

[iLander]

Lil Misfit: I am so glad you got something out of this thread! And there's no such thing as a thread jack in my threads, conversations should flow naturally, I welcome it, thank you for adding your stories.

Lil Misfit and sonnyjane: I can assure you that you are beautiful just the way you are. Or any way that you end up being. If it's natural and normal to you, and not the result of excessive dieting or obsessive exercise, then it's perfect. You're perfect. Thank you both for sharing, and if you ever need some encouragement, start a thread with my name in the title and I'll help if I can.

And a good life rule; Don't worry what people think of you, they don't do it very much. Trust me, no one is paying that much attention to you, they're thinking about themselves and their own problems. They don't really care if you have an extra 5 lbs or 10 lbs, they are worried about their mortgage, their boss, the kids, etc. And if they do notice you that much, are you really living your lives for them? Are they the boss of you? No! Relax. Enjoy your life, your food, etc.

And to quote Missy, who said it in a genius way: There is no "right" weigh.

 

[sonnyjane]

And a good life rule; Don't worry what people think of you, they don't do it very much. Trust me, no one is paying that much attention to you, they're thinking about themselves and their own problems. They don't really care if you have an extra 5 lbs or 10 lbs, they are worried about their mortgage, their boss, the kids, etc. And if they do notice you that much, are you really living your lives for them? Are they the boss of you? No! Relax. Enjoy your life, your food, etc.

Wow wow wow. So true and yet I never think about that.

 

[packrat]

LM, I love you and I send you hugs and love.

Your "I'm not perfect" sentence made me think of a tattoo I want to get-- "It's not perfect, but it's mine". My body is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it's the body I have, and I need to learn to love it and treat it w/respect.

 

[NOYFB]

I'm the heaviest I've ever been (not awful, but BMI of 25%) One book I LOVED was this: http://www.amazon.com/Do-I-Look-Fat-This/dp/1416525920

It's a light-hearted, easy read but I do read it anytime the thoughts still creep in. The thoughts NEVER really leave you, I don't think. I think people with ED always have nagging thoughts, it's just how fast you can change the subject in your brain that matters.

I downloaded this and started reading it tonight and can already recognize the benefit it will have on me. Thank you. Thank you also to everyone else who has posted in response to my soul-bearing post. Like I said, it was very therapeutic.

And thanks iLander for letting me threadjack.

 

[NOYFB]

LM, I love you and I send you hugs and love.

Your "I'm not perfect" sentence made me think of a tattoo I want to get-- "It's not perfect, but it's mine". My body is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it's the body I have, and I need to learn to love it and treat it w/respect.

I love you too, sweetie! And I think that would be an amazing idea!

 

[NOYFB]

Uh Oh....I think I broke the internet with my crazy.

 

[sonnyjane]

Uh Oh....I think I broke the internet with my crazy.

??

 

[NOYFB]

Uh Oh....I think I broke the internet with my crazy.

??

No replies in 3 days, despite numerous views. Oops!

 

[yennyfire]

I could have written your post LM! I've had an eating disorder since college and while I haven't had any binging/purging episodes in years, the thoughts certainly creep in from time to time. It's hard because sizing is so out of whack these days I can be a 2 in one brand and a 6 in another or even different sizes in the SAME brand. I've had to learn not to stress about the size on the label. I have also benefitted from the reminder that most people don't look at someone who is 5'3-5'4 and 123 lbs. and think "oh, she could stand to lose 10 lbs.". They are too self absorbed and I'm far from "fat" from a medically healthy point of view.

I'm so glad that you've had some positive realizations as a result of this thread! I'm proud of your courage to share your experience here. I know it wasn't easy. I hope that you continue to think positive thoughts about your body and being healthy. Hugs to you sweetie!

 

[TooPatient]

Uh Oh....I think I broke the internet with my crazy.

??

No replies in 3 days, despite numerous views. Oops!

I prefer to think of it as making a statement so GREAT that no one can add any more

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us!

 

[partgypsy]

Thank you Misfit for sharing your story.
I DO think this society is unhealthily obsessed with female looks. Whether it is being cute as a little girl, or sexy as a woman, or thin for clothes, or super toned. Even the catalogs for exercise clothes I feel have unreasonable expectations of what it "looks like" to be fit. I'm sorry, most women are not going to have six packs and cut arms even if they ARE in good physical shape! And it is hard not to internalize all those messages.

I feel I am noticing my body more than usual, because I started a crossfit class (kind of funny because I've always been the 99 pound weakling/nerd type) and pleasantly surprised that I could keep up. And while I don't have some of the same reasons that some take the class (i.e. losing weight) I have already experienced it lowering my stress, and hoping it increases my endurance, (and the vain part of me) tone my midsection.

How much I weigh now (125-12 is other than being pregnant or postpartum the heaviest I've ever been. But I also feel healthy at this weight and to tell you the truth if anything get more attention from males at this weight than I did when I was skinny.