This is creepy, right?

[rockzilla]

Not offensive to me (but I don''t know if there was another post you replaced with the "...") Of course its a very personal decision...and there is no way it will be an easy one...

But you''re right, it does seem to be the woman more often than not...

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 4/18/2008 9:57:53 PM
Author: Independent Gal
The ''objective'' way we found to hash it out was: I have transferable skills, experience in different industries and organizations, and more adaptability. So, I''m more likely to succeed in another job than he is. Therefore it should be me who leaves.


I still think that makes sense. Doesn''t make it suck any less though.


And anyway, we all come up with these ''objective'' things, and yet somehow it still ends up being the woman 75% of the time. Know what I mean? Almost like we''re trying to rationalize it.


I hope my venting isn''t offensive to anyone.

Not offensive at all-and your 75% thing is completely right on. I''m in a Marriage & Family sociology class and this is exactly what we talked about last week. In dual career marriages, most of the time the woman makes the sacrifices when it comes to career. Unless she''s making considerably more money than her husband, that is.

Bummer. Maybe he should also look into something else just in case you can''t find anything else. I don''t know...I guess I still don''t see why you should give up your hard work when he could retrain also.

Tough situation...blah.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Aww IG I am sorry!

((Hug)) I hope the career situation works out for you.

 

[justjulia]

Ok, gotcha now--sorry I wasn''t up on your background. You have worked SO hard!
At risk of sounding kind of old fashioned, I''m going to stick my neck out and say that when you do have babies, you might like the idea that you can take off for a while, or cut back, or be really flexible. So I can understand the concept of dh''s job being priority. That or he becomes Mr. Mom for a bit. Anything''s possible. I guess a lot depends on how soon you want to start that family.

The issues just keep on after you expand the family. For us, it was all about moving closer to the schools we liked, which means dh commutes A LOT more than we do. That way we are home sooner to do homework, snack, sports, and all that goes with life, and dh can do what he is trained for. Either way, someone has to do the behind the scenes running around and it is usually me (I''m more detail orientated, type A, etc etc). It just evolved that way for us. Form follows function.

You sound like an extremely intelligent, resourceful person. I bet you''ll get one of those eureka moments and know what to do, before long.