This ruby I purchased may be a garnet - What would you do?

[roxta]

Has the vendor actually told you their "approved" lab yet? Maybe post it on here if / when they do, so people in the know can advise if it's actually reputable or liable to give the answer the seller wants. Unfortunately this can be a problem with disreputable labs. Obviously not GIA / AGL etc... But they would be charging a lot more than that, so...

They could always claim your jeweller mixed up the stones and it wasn't the one they sent you.

I just really doubt they are going to stand by their promise of paying the lab report and full refund if it comes back as garnet. Only do it if you don't mind writing off the whole lot.

Yes, the vendor said they contacted people they know at the GAA (Gemmological Association of Australia) for recommendations for labs. There aren't many in my city but they have sent me one lab that they feel is reliable and I have already written to ask for a quote on testing services. I should hear back next week.

I won't spend a cent until I have every detail in writing from the vendor - how they will reimburse me, who will cover return shipping if needed, etc. You seem to think that this vendor is extremely unethical and will wiggle out of their promise to reimburse me if it's not a ruby. And if they are truly that unethical, it may not even matter what I do from this point. I could return the stone without testing it, they could claim they received an empty or opened envelope and refuse to refund me anyway. A crook is a crook. Any vendor could go "rogue" but I would hope it doesn't with one of the sticky thread vendors. PSers buy and return stones from them all the time and they have been in business for many years. And at least I paid with Paypal and can open a dispute if they don't willingly send me the money I'm owed.

 

[roxta]

Do you have a long wave uv light? Take the stone into a dark room, hold it in your hand, and test it there. If it fluoresces even a little, you'll know it's not a garnet. Also, a super strong "rare earth' magnet can help in identification. This site has lots of info on it: Gemstone Magnetism.

I've had enough negative experiences with more than one jeweler and gem seller that if it mattered for peace of mind, I'd send something to an unaffiliated lab for identification. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably begrudgingly send it to an independent lab because I'd need to know if I had to find a new jeweler or a new gem supplier.

I don't have a UV light unfortunately.

Yes, besides knowing what the stone is, if it did come back as a ruby, that would put into question the results from the original lab. Someone is right and someone is wrong. It could be the machine wasn't calibrated properly or that there was an incorrect reading. Regardless, a result showing that it is a ruby would be of interest not only to myself and the vendor, but certainly my jeweller who gets many stones tested there too.

 

[Grymera]

I meant natural, like what my stone is supposed to be. I cannot justify spending the same amount of money on a lab created replacement that is the same size/weight as my $70 natural stone, whatever it may be. Even a natural garnet is worth more than the equivalent flame fusion ruby material (the cheapest option that is likely to come under budget once you include the precision cutting cost).

Honestly. No. That’s not the case. Natural does not trump artificial on the market in this case. You personally may feel very strongly about it, but for most consumers, the look of the item is more important. If one is shopping for a ruby, they won’t want to pay more for something that doesn’t resemble a ruby. A flame fusion that shows all color characteristics would be preferred. And frankly, I’ve bought costume for more because it had the best look. I recently spent $100 on CZ earrings because they were so well done.

A $70 “ruby” that looks like $25 garnet is not selling more than a prettier alternative at this price point, I’m sorry to say.

 

[roxta]

Unfortunately I don't think that's possible for a new stone. Rubies are so, so expensive. If she had had an August baby, you would be fine to do that with peridot, but not a July ruby baby.

If you think your friend would prefer a mined stone, I think the best, most beautiful budget option would be to buy something vintage from a reputable seller and have it checked out (or test it yourself). You won't find many people here a fan of the dark brownish red color of the loose stone you have. If they'd want that, they would pay less for a garnet.

For example, some vintage options on ebay (not sure what the total budget was with with gold setting, but do some looking):

$210; 18k gold, ruby

$300, 18k gold, ruby and diamonds

Thanks for your suggestions. I initially considered just purchasing her a piece of ready-made ruby jewellery in 18k gold, but then I eventually decided that I would like to give her a piece that is my own design, with the baby's name engraved. These two aspects are more important to me than the stone. I would rather give her a no-stone gold pendant where I can say "I designed this specially for you" and have her baby's name on it than give her a pretty ruby pendant that I didn't design and doesn't have space to fit the engraving. Anyone could give her something "off the shelf" like that for a birthday or some other life event.
She knows how much I love sketching jewellery designs in my spare time and I want to give her a custom piece that will remind her of me and our friendship through all her significant milestones like the arrival of her first baby. The ruby is just the final touch, to compliment the engraving, to connect the piece back to the baby's birth. I'm very sure she will cherish the pendant no matter what colour the stone is, a lime green peridot or purple amethyst or yellow citrine. I could glue on a seashell and it would still be a special keepsake to her.

 

[roxta]

Yeah, it kinda sounded like a blow off to me too.

Unrelated to the above- Now I'm wondering if this actually IS a ruby, even if it does test as corundum in a reputable lab. "Ruby" is the term we use for RED corundum, correct? And then all other shades of corundum are termed "sapphire." So would brownish-red corundum be considered "ruby" or "sapphire?" Just curious.

I'm just as curious as you. The only way to know is to get it tested and see what comes back. Ruby? Sapphire? Garnet? Your guess is as good as mine.

 

[roxta]

If you can get a refractive index reading, it is very simple to separate a ruby from a garnet.
Any time you use your refractometer you should be taking 4 to 6 readings rotating the stone each time until you work your way 360 degrees around the stone. Write down each reading. You should also have a polarizing filter on your eyepiece. A garnet is single refractive and will give the same reading all all orientations, where a ruby is double refractive and you will read a high and low reading as you work your way around

I'll definitely try testing it again when I get the stone back. I just couldn't get a clear reading no matter how I rotated and repositioned the stone. Never had this issue with other stones before, there's always a distinct line so I can actually read a number to write down. I thought maybe it had something to do with how dark it was or perhaps the small size.

 

[roxta]

I would send it to the vendors approved lab - the curiosity would kill me!
Even in the (unlikely) case the stone turns out to be a ruby, I would chalk the cost up to thoroughly vetting a new vendor.
Although, based on their response I would surely proceed with caution ordering a more expensive stone from them.

Even if the stone is a ruby, I would likely return in. For something that is being worn as a birthstone (rather than just an interesting stone) I would much rather have something smaller and more indicative of the variety of stone it is.
Maybe a pendant of the baby’s first initial in gold with a tiny melee ruby set in it would be cute and sentimental? Also, easy to pass down to the baby either to be worn as a pendant, or converted into a lapel pin?
Just my $.02

Proceeding with caution is absolutely right. This is why there is no guarantee I will shop with the vendor again even if the stone turns out to be a ruby. Would the vendor provide a similar experience if it was a 4ct tanzanite? But needless to say, if the stone comes back as "not ruby", that will be the nail in the coffin.

I'm open to changing my design and incorporating a small melee stone instead. I may not even have a choice depending on how this plays out. It could be a garnet and I would have to start from scratch.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

Not sure that you're going to find a satisfactory conclusion by talking it out on here as you've gone over your options quite a few times.

I think it's best that you get the cert.
Worst case scenario it's not a ruby and the seller pays for it, or if he/she doesn't & goes back on their word I'm sure we'd all love to hear who this is.
I have a feeling that they would pay for it though if it came back anything but.

On the other hand, if it is a ruby then your confidence in the seller is restored, stays whole and everything moves along smoothly. & you've paid extra for a cert that you can give with the gift that would make it all the more stunning.

(Although, I would question that jeweler & lab for incorrectly IDing the stone & I'm not sure if I'd want to work with them on the contrary, but that's just me nitpicking. I'm a big stone ID person, & designation means something to me.)

I don't really see you losing out by getting the cert. I doubt any other option will satiate you as you keep talking about the quandary.

What are you waiting for?

 

[roxta]

Not to pile on about the color, but regarding men and preferred ruby color: my husband's birthstone is ruby and he loves vivid red stones. Just saying....

Oh absolutely, I'm not making a blanket statement about what men like (what do I know). I'm just saying that a brownish red isn't a deal breaker to me. If I received the stone and it was a more pinky red, I would set it anyway, regardless of whether the baby is a boy or girl. Do I think brownish red is maybe slightly more masculine than pinkish red? Sure. But it doesn't matter because the pendant is for BFF to wear, not her son.

Brown, pink, boy, girl..... I thought the stone looked fine. That's what I was trying to say.

 

[roxta]

In the second picture of the stone, the pinkish tone doesn’t look anything like almandine garnet, which can be brownish red or wine red. If it actually is that pink, it could be rhodolite garnet or it could be pink sapphire, which usually gets away with being called ruby (red corundum is ruby and pink corundum is sapphire).

I don't have the stone with me now but I remember it was little shifty. I only have these two photos of it, both in different lighting conditions.

 

[roxta]

Honestly. No. That’s not the case. Natural does not trump artificial on the market in this case. You personally may feel very strongly about it, but for most consumers, the look of the item is more important. If one is shopping for a ruby, they won’t want to pay more for something that doesn’t resemble a ruby. A flame fusion that shows all color characteristics would be preferred. And frankly, I’ve bought costume for more because it had the best look. I recently spent $100 on CZ earrings because they were so well done.

A $70 “ruby” that looks like $25 garnet is not selling more than a prettier alternative at this price point, I’m sorry to say.

I agree if you (or I) are shopping for a piece of jewellery, the look is the most important thing. Personally I would get a nice 5ct flawless lab sapphire as a cocktail ring for me to wear than a 5ct included natural. I don't have issues with lab created stones..... for me.

However in this case, being a small trinket that is gifted, not sold, to my BFF, how important is it that the stone look like a flawless pigeon red ruby (which is how good the lab created ones look)? Sure, I could get that look if I went down the lab created path, but then I would have to tell her (because I couldn't keep a secret like that from her, it would negate the whole sentiment behind the friendship pendant). I don't expect her to walk around, showing off her very expensive looking ruby to people and saying "look at the fine colour and quality of this ruby my BFF gave me". The point of the pendant isn't to showcase the ruby. It's not about giving her something that has the best resale or commercial value. This isn't an investment, I'm not "selling" anything, nor are we talking about a market here. This isn't the same this as how you or I may shop for ourselves.

It's simply a little gift from me to her so that when she looks at it (she doesn't even have to wear it if she doesn't want to), hopefully she will be reminded of me and how we've been friends through this important milestone in her life.

 

[roxta]

Not sure that you're going to find a satisfactory conclusion by talking it out on here as you've gone over your options quite a few times.

I think it's best that you get the cert.
Worst case scenario it's not a ruby and the seller pays for it, or if he/she doesn't & goes back on their word I'm sure we'd all love to hear who this is.
I have a feeling that they would pay for it though if it came back anything but.

On the other hand, if it is a ruby then your confidence in the seller is restored, stays whole and everything moves along smoothly. & you've paid extra for a cert that you can give with the gift that would make it all the more stunning.

(Although, I would question that jeweler & lab for incorrectly IDing the stone & I'm not sure if I'd want to work with them on the contrary, but that's just me nitpicking. I'm a big stone ID person, & designation means something to me.)

I don't really see you losing out by getting the cert. I doubt any other option will satiate you as you keep talking about the quandary.

What are you waiting for?

I've contacted a lab that the vendor recommended, I expect to get a quote from them next week and then I can decide how to proceed then. And if the result is contradictory to the original lab result, of course there will be questions and implications, especially for my jeweller who gets many stones IDed there.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

I've contacted a lab that the vendor recommended, I expect to get a quote from them next week and then I can decide how to proceed then. And if the result is contradictory to the original lab result, of course there will be questions and implications, especially for my jeweller who gets many stones IDed there.

I would also make sure that this "new" lab is reputable. There is no point in spending $50-130 for a cert if it comes back as a ruby and therein contraindicates the original labs assessment yet you're torn and don't know which seller or lab to trust that also won't do any good!

As in what if both sellers and labs are standing behind their assessment, who will you choose to trust? That is why it's important that you don't just send it to a lab of their choosing but one that you trust and is reputable as well.

 

[seaurchin]

Okay, I get it. It's not a huge sum of money either way and you have more personal reasons for wanting to do things a certain way with it. That's as good a reason as any imo. Please let us know how it goes.

 

[roxta]

Thanks for your replies, everyone. So I expected to get mainly tips for how to differentiate garnet and ruby, perhaps some opinions on lab testing methodology and accuracy, and questions about the vendor or the lab. Maybe people might want to know a little bit more about BFF and her jewellery tastes. Maybe people might ask to see the design I came up with.

Instead, I think 99% of the replies were that the stone is hideous, the mystery of whether the vendor sent me the wrong stone is irrelevant because it's so ugly that I should send it back regardless, etc. Some have said send it back even if it's a ruby because it's vomit. Many people commented more about the colour, less on the fact that this reputable vendor here on PS could have sent me the wrong stone and is (not very courteously) asking me spend my own money to get it tested again because they simply don't believe the lab and jeweller.

I've said it before: I was fine with the stone colour and the price I paid for it. I would have returned it if it had a window or a chip, not because of the colour. If this surprise test result didn't happen, the stone would be getting set now, I'd get it a few weeks later and send it to BFF. This thread wouldn't exist and no one on PS would even be aware of the existence of this pendant, let alone spend any time writing about how much they despise the colour of the stone. I would be happy, BFF would be touched and vendor/jeweller would not be stressing.

I appreciate that you all have great taste in coloured gems and a great eye for quality and fine coloured rubies, and naturally, you can't help but critique the stone colour. And had I asked whether I should buy/keep/gift this particular stone based on it's colour, of course I would welcome your opinions and advice. But I came here to ask for help with this pickle because great taste aside, you collectively have lots of experience with buying gems online, dealing with vendors and labs, identifying stones, navigating tricky transactions where you may not have received what you ordered and so on.

Now I'm just feeling like if the stone is a ruby/sapphire and I go ahead with setting it, everyone here will think it's a huge mistake because what kind of person gives such a hideous gem (which I was fine with) to their BFF. Also everyone hates the colour and I don't, so I must have terrible taste. Oh, and BFF will definitely hate it too. And her baby will probably hate it...

 

[roxta]

I would also make sure that this "new" lab is reputable. There is no point in spending $50-130 for a cert if it comes back as a ruby and therein contraindicates the original labs assessment yet you're torn and don't know which seller or lab to trust that also won't do any good!

As in what if both sellers and labs are standing behind their assessment, who will you choose to trust? That is why it's important that you don't just send it to a lab of their choosing but one that you trust and is reputable as well.

From a refund point, the vendor will only trust the "new" lab. If it comes back ruby or not, I expect the vendor to keep their word because the "new" lab is recommended specifically by them. Now, if the two labs contradict each other, personally I would lean more towards the new one because I would be submitting the stone specifically for testing, I'd be paying for their services and they would be focussed on testing my stone in isolation (not as part of a batch). And I'd also have a written report. But I will try my best to determine what the stone is myself before submitting it and I'm curious to see how my results compare.

 

[roxta]

From a lab testing perspective, the Chromium has to be high enough to reach a threshold to be identified as Ruby. Different labs have different standards and some Very Vivid Hot pink sapphires can be tested as pinkish rubies or hot pink sapphires.

I've always wondered why they had to give ruby it's own name. Well, I guess it was during a time when they didn't know they were just different colours of corundum. Of course we know that now but we still can't shake the name.
At what point is a ruby a sapphire and vice versa? I'm sure it's as subjective to each lab as what is a pad and what is orange or pink.

 

[Bojambles]

The way people have said that a $70 stone shouldn't be something you bother about really rubs me. That's not the point. The point is that the vendor may potentially sent out the wrong stone knowingly (thus committing fraud), or unknowingly. And on top of that doesn't have great customer service.

My 2 cents is that there are already two independent data points that strongly suggest this stone isn't a ruby at all. The vendor has provided no datapoints to support their claims

If they are dishonest: I wouldn't put it past people to do a small con. As you so accurately mentioned, the price of checking is so disproportionate that they know most buyers likely wouldn't bother. So long as they get their big, expensive orders that they know will be tested right, they know they can ride on their supposedly honest reputation to make ill gotten gains. And it can really add up. If a garnet of that size should only cost $7 (think that was what someone quoted), then well, they are making $63 more than they should. If they sold 1000 stones like you said, that's $63k of illegal and easy gains for them.

If they are not being dishonest: I assume they get this parcel from somewhere. My impression is that there is a whole supply chain. even if they weren't dishonest, perhaps someone further up was, ie. mixing a small proportion of garnets in. Do dealers really test every single stone that they have?

All that being said, I'm sorry but I can't advise you. Is the $50 report something worth giving to your friend along with the ring if it does turn out to be ruby?

However, I would say that nothing in the implied contract between yourself and the vendor forces you to use their lab. I strongly suggest that you use your jeweler's lab. They have no incentive as you make it clear that the project will be cancelled and they get nothing.

Scandals pop out everywhere, don't they. If the vendor has some relationship with the lab they recommended, who's to say they won't collaborate to save their reputation.

Vaguely recall a post on PS about ?GIA? / some other well known lab in North America having some ex-employees sent to jail for frauding certs.

If it comes back as a garnet and they try to say they won't refund because of the lab, I'd just take it to Paypal and post their name here.

EDIT: too many typos / grammatical mistakes

 

[JewelledEscalators]

In the second picture of the stone, the pinkish tone doesn’t look anything like almandine garnet, which can be brownish red or wine red. If it actually is that pink, it could be rhodolite garnet or it could be pink sapphire, which usually gets away with being called ruby (red corundum is ruby and pink corundum is sapphire).

I was thinking the same, but wondered if it was just my monitor.

 

[JewelledEscalators]

Thanks for your replies, everyone. So I expected to get mainly tips for how to differentiate garnet and ruby, perhaps some opinions on lab testing methodology and accuracy, and questions about the vendor or the lab. Maybe people might want to know a little bit more about BFF and her jewellery tastes. Maybe people might ask to see the design I came up with.

Instead, I think 99% of the replies were that the stone is hideous, the mystery of whether the vendor sent me the wrong stone is irrelevant because it's so ugly that I should send it back regardless, etc. Some have said send it back even if it's a ruby because it's vomit. Many people commented more about the colour, less on the fact that this reputable vendor here on PS could have sent me the wrong stone and is (not very courteously) asking me spend my own money to get it tested again because they simply don't believe the lab and jeweller.

I've said it before: I was fine with the stone colour and the price I paid for it. I would have returned it if it had a window or a chip, not because of the colour. If this surprise test result didn't happen, the stone would be getting set now, I'd get it a few weeks later and send it to BFF. This thread wouldn't exist and no one on PS would even be aware of the existence of this pendant, let alone spend any time writing about how much they despise the colour of the stone. I would be happy, BFF would be touched and vendor/jeweller would not be stressing.

I appreciate that you all have great taste in coloured gems and a great eye for quality and fine coloured rubies, and naturally, you can't help but critique the stone colour. And had I asked whether I should buy/keep/gift this particular stone based on it's colour, of course I would welcome your opinions and advice. But I came here to ask for help with this pickle because great taste aside, you collectively have lots of experience with buying gems online, dealing with vendors and labs, identifying stones, navigating tricky transactions where you may not have received what you ordered and so on.

Now I'm just feeling like if the stone is a ruby/sapphire and I go ahead with setting it, everyone here will think it's a huge mistake because what kind of person gives such a hideous gem (which I was fine with) to their BFF. Also everyone hates the colour and I don't, so I must have terrible taste. Oh, and BFF will definitely hate it too. And her baby will probably hate it...

Whatever people say about colour, I'm sure everybody here would agree that the most important thing about colour is that YOU like it. And you do. That should be good enough.

Besides, nobody could say the stone is hideous because the colour in the 2 photos you posted varies so much, it's not completely clear what it looks like in real life.

 

[Rfisher]

Thanks for your replies, everyone. So I expected to get mainly tips for how to differentiate garnet and ruby

Instead, I think 99% of the replies were that the stone is hideous,

this seems to be happening more often here lately.
sometimes you’ll see reply posts starting off “I haven’t read everything yet, but here’s what I think”
maybe that happens more? It doesn’t seem the OP’s preferences /wishes / parameters are taken into account sometimes for giving answers /opinions.

maybe there should be a sub section for CS ( like the unspoken rule of how to respond difference between RT vs SMTB) for “truly tear this colored stone apart/compare to trade ideal ” vs “I like x for what it is / my budget / my preferences but I do have questions/ concerns/ what am I missing “ type discussion.

There’s plenty of room inbetween bashing someones preferences vs blowing smoke false praise.

You are in a pickle, OP, between two vendors and knowing one will be proven wrong or there will be no concrete resolution with lingering unfounded doubt.
hope all works out for you and your project, in the end.

I know you stated earlier it wouldn’t be fair to post the facts after all is done - but really in the end, knowing what a vendor does when mistakes happen, is more important than the mistake - for many PS’ers.

 

[Tourmaline]

I’m surprised no one has mentioned fluorescence. Get a UV flashlight. A ruby will glow and a garnet will not.

 

[roxta]

The way people have said that a $70 stone shouldn't be something you bother about really rubs me. That's not the point. The point is that the vendor may potentially sent out the wrong stone knowingly (thus committing fraud), or unknowingly. And on top of that doesn't have great customer service.

My 2 cents is that there are already two independent data points that strongly suggest this stone isn't a ruby at all. The vendor has provided no datapoints to support their claims

If they are dishonest: I wouldn't put it past people to do a small con. As you so accurately mentioned, the price of checking is so disproportionate that they know most buyers likely wouldn't bother. So long as they get their big, expensive orders that they know will be tested right, they know they can ride on their supposedly honest reputation to make ill gotten gains. And it can really add up. If a garnet of that size should only cost $7 (think that was what someone quoted), then well, they are making $63 more than they should. If they sold 1000 stones like you said, that's $63k of illegal and easy gains for them.

If they are not being dishonest: I assume they get this parcel from somewhere. My impression is that there is a whole supply chain. even if they weren't dishonest, perhaps someone further up was, ie. mixing a small proportion of garnets in. Do dealers really test every single stone that they have?

All that being said, I'm sorry but I can't advise you. Is the $50 report something worth giving to your friend along with the ring if it does turn out to be ruby?

However, I would say that nothing in the implied contract between yourself and the vendor forces you to use their lab. I strongly suggest that you use your jeweler's lab. They have no incentive as you make it clear that the project will be cancelled and they get nothing.

Scandals pop out everywhere, don't they. If the vendor has some relationship with the lab they recommended, who's to say they won't collaborate to save their reputation.

Vaguely recall a post on PS about ?GIA? / some other well known lab in North America having some ex-employees sent to jail for frauding certs.

If it comes back as a garnet and they try to say they won't refund because of the lab, I'd just take it to Paypal and post their name here.

EDIT: too many typos / grammatical mistakes

I don't know how aware the vendor may have been about a (possible) switch. As you said, it could have occurred somewhere further up the supply chain. But this is precisely why it's disappointing to be met with the responses I got when I told them what the lab found. $70 may not be much to many customers and perhaps not even the vendor, but if I were the vendor, I would show a little more concern, if that's the right term. Unless they personally tested the stone themselves, they are assuming that their stock hasn't been compromised in some way.
I would see this incident as a red flag to dig deeper and find out if my suppliers/wholesalers may have been ripping me off my mixing cheaper stones in with parcels. It might uncover a hidden issue that is much, much bigger than just $70. Instead, I was told that it's a ruby that looks like a garnet - Duh. That's how it's supposed to look and they've sold thousands so that guarantees that I got what I paid for. I can't even tell if this is suspicious or just some "treat em mean, keep em keen" form of customer service.

 

[roxta]

Whatever people say about colour, I'm sure everybody here would agree that the most important thing about colour is that YOU like it. And you do. That should be good enough.

Besides, nobody could say the stone is hideous because the colour in the 2 photos you posted varies so much, it's not completely clear what it looks like in real life.

I'm not going to lie and say I like it, but I wouldn't like any of the rubies recommended to me here either because I'm not into red stones. If I HAD to wear red, I would wear oxblood or burgundy or as unsaturated a red as possible. I would wear this brownish red stone over any fine, vivid ruby, that's for sure.
Ironically, this experience is probably increasing my aversion to red stones and rubies in particular because I can't believe how expensive these buggers are! I've been browsing again in case the stone is a garnet and I need to buy a replacement. I swear, for the price of a teeny tiny red (ugh) ruby, I could get a much nicer/bigger sapphire, emerald, spinel, tanzanite, tourmaline..... Really wish they had chosen two birthstones for July!!

 

[roxta]

this seems to be happening more often here lately.
sometimes you’ll see reply posts starting off “I haven’t read everything yet, but here’s what I think”
maybe that happens more? It doesn’t seem the OP’s preferences /wishes / parameters are taken into account sometimes for giving answers /opinions.

maybe there should be a sub section for CS ( like the unspoken rule of how to respond difference between RT vs SMTB) for “truly tear this colored stone apart/compare to trade ideal ” vs “I like x for what it is / my budget / my preferences but I do have questions/ concerns/ what am I missing “ type discussion.

There’s plenty of room inbetween bashing someones preferences vs blowing smoke false praise.

You are in a pickle, OP, between two vendors and knowing one will be proven wrong or there will be no concrete resolution with lingering unfounded doubt.
hope all works out for you and your project, in the end.

I know you stated earlier it wouldn’t be fair to post the facts after all is done - but really in the end, knowing what a vendor does when mistakes happen, is more important than the mistake - for many PS’ers.

I really do appreciate every single person taking the time to type out a response here. I'm sure they all have better things to do than give advice to a stranger on the internet. But yes, I think we all got distracted by the colour of the stone and veered off the main point of the thread. I think when you read the first post and see the options (test or return without testing), a person automatically puts themselves in the position of the OP. I mentioned I was fine with the colour of the stone and already proceeded to setting it, but many based their advice/suggestions on the fact that they personally hate the colour. And if you hate the colour, of course you wouldn't spend any more time/money on this situation. You would eat the return shipping cost and get the darn thing out of your life ASAP. Or if you must test it for curiosity's sake, send it back straight after. This is the consensus.

There were really helpful and insightful posts too though. Thank you again, everyone.

As for sharing more details about the vendor, let's give this a little more time. Hopefully there will be no dramas and we can get the issue resolved to satisfaction. In the end I'm sure I will get a good lesson from it and know whether this vendor is worth my business in the future, and perhaps the rest of you will too.

 

[JewelledEscalators]

I'm not going to lie and say I like it, but I wouldn't like any of the rubies recommended to me here either because I'm not into red stones. If I HAD to wear red, I would wear oxblood or burgundy or as unsaturated a red as possible. I would wear this brownish red stone over any fine, vivid ruby, that's for sure.
Ironically, this experience is probably increasing my aversion to red stones and rubies in particular because I can't believe how expensive these buggers are! I've been browsing again in case the stone is a garnet and I need to buy a replacement. I swear, for the price of a teeny tiny red (ugh) ruby, I could get a much nicer/bigger sapphire, emerald, spinel, tanzanite, tourmaline..... Really wish they had chosen two birthstones for July!!

Ha, well I love red stones and I know what you mean.

If you go by the day of the week the baby was born, or their zodiac sign, you have different options. I bet most people don't even know the day of the week they were born - I thought I was born on a Tuesday but turns out it was Saturday

Birthstone - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[roxta]

I’m surprised no one has mentioned fluorescence. Get a UV flashlight. A ruby will glow and a garnet will not.

@MissSarah did. I have ordered one today. Hopefully it will be delivered soon but if not, I figure it will come in handy in the future anyway.

 

[roxta]

Ha, well I love red stones and I know what you mean.

If you go by the day of the week the baby was born, or their zodiac sign, you have different options. I bet most people don't even know the day of the week they were born - I thought I was born on a Tuesday but turns out it was Saturday

Birthstone - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

You know what, THANK YOU for this. If I have to get a replacement stone, I'm definitely going to consider the zodiac or birth-day options. Baby was born on a Monday - that's pearl. I like pearls and I know for sure that BFF does too. And $70 can buy me a decent one that may not be met with as much disdain here on PS as my poor brownish red stone.

 

[Ionysis]

I have to say I’m now fully invested in this thread and desperate to know what it actually is. Despite my earlier posts I now really want you to send it to the lab or the “never knowing” will drive me nuts

 

[JewelledEscalators]

I think I may know which seller it is - if so, I can understand the OP's dilemma. They have a really good selection of stones at very affordable prices. I have them in mind for future purchaeses too.

Who knows, maybe it is a ruby. A ruby that looks to the eye a lot like garnet - maybe the lab the jeweller used was going by the way it looked, and didn't necessarily carry out the whole set of tests you might get with a printed cert (I'm assuming it was just a verbal since the jeweller wasn't charged).

Completely and utterly speculating here, so I could be totally wrong

Like @Ionysis said, there's a number of us now invested in this story, so perhaps the cert to identify the stone should be crowd-funded...only joking