Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

To all the engaged girls, or to anyone, really...

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
fisherofmengirly

fisherofmengirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 14, 2006
Messages
3,929
Sk7rJen: Have you and Matt talked about a date yet?


How long are people *allowed* to go without doing that before people start aggressively asking about it? I''m just wondering because well, I don''t know how long Paul and I have before the questions start.


Also, do you guys wear your rings in the shower? Is that bad to do? I''ve been doing it, but when I washed my hair tonight and I got it caught in my hair and I all but freaked out over hurting it and then sending the diamond down the drain. Then I worried about the water damaging the metal, or the soap, or the shampoo.


I''ve also been sleeping in it, and I know I''ve asked about it before, but I do worry that maybe I''ll damage it in the process of sleeping, too.


Hmm. So many new things to think about now. Hee hee.
 
Oi, the FIRST thing people seemed to ask when they heard I got engaged was "so have you set the date, what planning have you done". Its annoying for us because our first priority right now is saving for a house and we''ve decided to wait on the wedding plans until after we have our living situation figured out. People dont seem to understand this logic and I get all kinds of stupid comments from people. The worst is the people who say things like... long engagements predict bad marriages or divorce, or imply my fiance is trying to stall even though it was actually my choice to wait. Its almost as annoying as the "so when are you getting engaged" questions
3.gif
At first the "we''re just enjoying being engaged for a while" line worked, but now its been almost 3 months since we got engaged and people seem to be annoyed with us that we arent planning the wedding. But you know how people are, I''m sure as soon as we get married people will be bugging us about when we plan to have kids

I dont wear my ring in the shower because I hate the way it feels when it gets caught in my hair, and cleaning residue from conditioner off is a pain. I dont know how much water or the chemicals in soaps will hurt anything, but taking it off in the shower is a convient time to stick it in the cleaner and get it nice and sparkly anyhow and causes less worry
2.gif
And I always wear it to bed. The ring has hurt both me and my fiance while asleep (I scratched my cheek but good the other night) but never the other way around. I had one blanket that would get caught on the prongs so I got a different blanket
41.gif


And I dont think I got around to posting in your other thread but congrats and I can''t wait to hear the story and see pictures
36.gif
 
First of all -- Rhapsody- yes!! People WILL start asking you when you are having kids pretty much as soon as you say "i do." I kid you not!

Secondly -- Fisher -- Matt and I set our actual date a few weeks before we were officially engaged. We''ve been planning on going to Hawaii since we first started talking about this, and so to pass my time while "waiting" I started researching. April appealed to us both and is a good time to travel there (post spring break, after some Japanese holiday, before summer break and good weather!) I love the number 11, so we settled on April 11, which is perfect b/c it''s a Wednesday, and mid-week is the best time to get married on the beach. It''s funny b/c I actually was telling people at the rink *BEFORE I was engaged* my wedding date so we could plan an ice-show accordingly.
1.gif
I know Matt and I are not the norm, though.

jen
 
Well, we''d been saying for what seems like forever that we wanted October, and at this point, I know that''s not really going to happen. Now we''re debating over what month and I just would rather enjoy at least a week or two of loving the idea of being a fiancee rather than hearing about "when??" all the time. I thought there would at least be a tiny break, but I guess with all the talk of October over and over, I''m only dealing with what I created to begin with.

I noticed that my fleece blanket that I like to tuck up under my feet when I sleep *which always makes it''s way to the head of the bed every night, who knows how* has tried to get caught on my ring, too. Very upsetting. Last night I ended up chucking it to the floor. If it continues, I''ll have to retire that blanket, too.

What do you put your ring in to clean it? I''ve read that an old *soft* toothbrush is good for cleaning, but that still worries me that I''ll scratch it up.
 
Fisher, I think a date should be set within a week or two of being engaged. I tend to think that an engagement isn''t official until the date is set. About wearing your ring while washing your hair and sleeping I don''t think I''d do it. My sister has a white gold e-ring and she''s worn out prongs twice already and the jeweler said it was from rubbing against the sheets at night! So I think it''s worth it to tuck it into it''s own little bed at night. Who knows what I really end up doing when I finally receive my e-ring!
3.gif
Congrats, Fisher! I can''t wait for the official PS announcement
36.gif
 
I use the windex with ammonia to clean it. I drop it in the little jar when i get in the shower, use a soft baby toothbrush to clean it once I''m out of the shower. Makes for a safe place to keep it when I take it off in the bathroom (I really dont want to have to take apart the sink to retreive my ring) and ensures it''s nice and clean every day. I wouldnt worry about the toothbrush scratching it. If your teeth can survive it I think the ring can too.

I know how you feel about having to push the date back. We had tentatively told people May 07, but we''re just financially not going to be able to pull it off. Honestly May 08 might be out too. So we keep going back and forth between winter 08 and May 09. I''d like to keep our same anniversary in May (I''m sappy like that) but 2009 would be our 10th anniversary and the idea of waiting so long is, well, not the happiest.

I''m sure you''ll have a few weeks with people just being excited and asking to see the ring. But I''d be prepared for the questions soon after
26.gif
 
Fisher-
Do you know if you have platinum prongs or white gold prongs? I would be super careful with white gold prongs. I would also recommend getting it inspected by a local independent appraiser. I am not sure which company Paul bought the ring from, but you need to make sure those prongs are set solidly. My college roommate knocked her stone out about a week after getting the ring. She switched to platinum prongs after that. She didn't get it appraised and spent a hair-raising 15 minutes- screaming hystericalyl crawling around the bathroom until by a miracle she found it. that really freaked me out. yes, the craftsmanship could have been better, but you want that stone to be set rock solid. you also need peace of mind.

You can clean it with a toothbrush and some windex. dry with a lint free cloth. I wouldnt sleep with it or wear it in the shower. I would actually take it off whenever you do chores as well. Find a pretty box for it to rest during those times.

re: finger size... my fingers do that as well. especially when its hot, my fingers swell like little balloons. dont get it sized up just yet because as soon as it is cold, it will be falling off your finger. you just need a wedding band to keep it on. hee. ;)

28.gif
28.gif
28.gif
28.gif
 
dish soap; ammonia (Windex) tarnishes the silver in white gold. not very quickly, but just don''t soak it for a long time (it''s not like it works better the longer you leave it in, anyway.)
 
I hate the "have you set a date" question. I mean, we''re having a two year engagement and you want to know a DAY?? I gave people a three month window and a year--and that was after we had been engaged four months.


I do not wear my rind sleeping, in the shower, or to any other rough activity...it''s antiqey and has pave, plus its a sapphire. I baby the thing within an inch of its life.


That said, I wear the wedding band almost all the time if I am not wearing the ering. This won''t work for everyone. (I have to have a w-band to wear in morocco, so we agreed I would get the real one and just wear it instead of my ering for the year). It is much nicer than my ring to wear all the time because it has a tiny bezel set diamond--so I don''t worry about the diamond falling out, and I still get a little sparkle.

right now if I wear both then I wear the w-band on the right hand. I''ll switch it after the wedding.
 
Edited for silly double post.
 
People started asking us IMMEDIATELY. I was so not ready to hear "Congrats! Now WHEN AND WHERE????" We used the "give us time to enjoy this" but then I started to wonder "when and where" and now we''re actively working toward setting a date, but we''re only being general with those who ask. I still haven''t figured out where (see my location location location thread in BWW) but I''m working on it. We''re thinking September/October of next year but M has to check with his cousin to see if he would be ok missing a Chargers game to come to the wedding... he says HE can miss a Redskins game, you know, since it''s our wedding, but he''s not sure about his cousin. Really. We just had that conversation! I''m kind of laughing but I''m giving him a chance to call him, knowing his cousin will do anything to be at our wedding because we just got back from his!

Anyway...

I don''t have my ring yet but I probably will take it off at night. I don''t like to sleep in jewelry, though I do wear my studs most nights. I feel kind of clausterphobic when I sleep... won''t even wear long nightgowns because they bother me. And I''m fairly certain my hands swell while I sleep because the rings I do wear are tight in the morning but fit fine in the middle of the day. Plus I''m very accident prone and if there''s a way to poke out my or my FI''s eye, it will happen! Ask him how many times he''s accidentally elbowed me in the eye in the middle of the night!
 
I don''t know if it''s white or platinum. I didn''t really look at any of the papers much. I was too excited to make any sense out of any of it, anyway. I wonder if they make a tulip in platinum. I wonder if Paul knew to ask what metal was used. I''d not have known.
 
Oh, and I''m a firm believer in NOT wearing rings in the shower... besides the hair thing, it''s too easy for them to get soaped up and fall off and you not to notice. I almost lost one of my diamond studs in the shower a couple of years ago... luckily it only came out when I was towel drying my hair and it was on the floor and not down the drain! But believe me, I was this close to taking apart the drain!!! and this was in my now FI''s apartment!!! He was out and I was panicking... luckily I found it before he got home!
 
Yep, ''when'' was the first thing we got asked too! The we''re giddy and happy line worked for about two weeks. Then I said that we were still in negotiations. That''s worked very well so far. Although we do have a tentative date of March 10-11. I know this is pretty obvious, but when figuring out the date don''t forget certain biological constraints.
2.gif
It''s amazing how much that limited our weekend choices when combined with other considerations.
It really is the first thing you have to decide. After that people do stop pestering you.

As for my ring, it doesn''t come off... ever. Oddly I''ve never had trouble with it catching in my hair during a shower, or scratching anyone at night. I guess it''s one of the benefits of an antique ring, it''s already been broken it!
9.gif


I wash my ring very very carefully with an old soft toothbrush and a mixture of warm O''r water, dish detergent, and white (or apple cider) vinegar. Looks really sparkly!
30.gif
 
I think my engagement will just be less than a year. FF wants a real honeymoon and the only time off as a teacher is in the summer and winter and spring breaks. So maybe we can pull it off by next summer. I am not getting any younger :) I wouldn''t mind December but nobody seems to keen on the idea.
 
When you're dating for a long time people always ask "How long have you been dating? When are you going to get engaged?"

When you get engaged people always ask "Have you set a date yet?" and comment "Wow, that must be expensive!" if you mention the hunt for anything (rings, dress, cake, hall, etc).

When you get married people always ask "How's married life?" and "Any children planned for the future?"

The questions never stop. There's never a time to set back and enjoy the dating, the engagement, or the marriage.

Set a date when you feel comfortable. I don't wear my rings in the shower, in bed, washing dishes, working out, or any other time that it has a higher chance of getting caught on something and lost.
 
Well I''ve been engaged since Septemeber 2005 so that''s about 11 months. I''m 26, and we''ve been dating for 10 years!!! I haven''t set a date yet. When we first got engaged we talked about it for a few minutes....but I''m just NOT READY. We''re kind of eyeing June 2008. So we will have had a 2+ year (almost 3 year) engagement. There''s still a lot of stuff I want to do before I get married, so we aren''t rushing anything.

People ask me all the time, but it doesn''t bother me at all. Afterall, it''s only me that''s going to have to walk down the aisle, so I''m waiting for the timing to feel right. At this moment I''m full into school mode, so it''s not practical yet.

Oh. And I don''t wear my ring in the shower, sleeping, cooking, cleaning...and not to school either. Mine gets a lot of storage time in the box
2.gif
 
People started asking right away about the date. When I got to work the next morning (mid-week proposal) everyone was asking, and I reminded them that between the hours of 7pm and 7am I would not have been able to plan an entire wedding. Also since it was right before the holidays, we just told people that we wanted to enjoy the holidays and being engaged and not feel rushed to do anything. We also told co-workers etc that we wanted something small, so people wouldn''t expect an invite. We actually starting talking about dates a week later, but since we had a short (5 month) engagement we couldn''t wait too long.

I don''t wear my rings while sleeping, showering, or exercising.
 
I''ve only been engaged 5 days and I can''t count the number of times I''ve been asked "When''s the date?"... I should have expected it and I guess that''s the normal thing to ask when someone gets engaged.

I''m still trying to fathom the fact that I''m engaged!!! There''s NO way I can think about a date right now!! I''ve just been saying, "I don''t know, we''re just getting married on the beach, so we have to pick a location first"

I just want to enjoy this part of my "engaged" life!! I waited long enough for it!!
 
Also, I don''t wear my ring to bed or in the shower and I won''t wear it exercising or cleaning. I''m going to baby it!

I haven''t cleaned it yet, I was afraid to because I didn''t know how! Everyone''s cleaning tips are appreciated...
28.gif
 
Aquarius: A lot of people on PS us the ultrasonic cleaner. Mine is a pave ring, and Leon said I wasn''t allowed to use the ultrasonic cleaner or it would loosen the stones and they could fall out (I''ve already lost 2 stones on my ring WITHOUT using ultra sonic, so I can only imagine)

I use (believe it or not) diluted windex with a soft bristle brush. It works well. But when I get my next ring, I''m going to make sure that it''s sturdy enough for an ultrasonic.
 
People asked us right away what our date was when we got engaged. Thing is, we settled on a date beforehand, so once it was official we could start planning (since we only had 8 months) Most people we know weren''t suprised when we told them Halloween.

As for my ring- some nights I go to bed with it on, other times I remember to take it off. It doesn''t get caught on the sheets. Haven''t poked him or myself with it. I haven''t bent my prongs or anything like that. Most of the time I have it on, but fiance will b*tch at me if I forget to take it off before working on my car. I don''t wear any of my rings when I wash my hair, too many tangles. But I leave it on when I wash my hands, do dishes... Water shouldn''t affect it at all. The two opal rings in yellow gold settings I have on my pinky have endured it all since age 15 and they are fine.

I have found a GREAT way to clean it. My last trip to the dentist I was given a bunch of those tiny little brushes to get between your teeth. Since they do nothing for my teeth, I started to use it to clean the ring! They are small, the bristles are really soft and it can fit the tiny space between the stone and the prongs. I dab a bit Windex or soap and water, brush for a couple of minutes and viola!
 
Fisher, I take off my rings before bed and put them on after I take a shower and put on make-up in the morning. I think that helps preserve the ring. No point in putting it through needless wear and tear. You can also get a red jar of jewelry cleaner from Walmart that has a little basket where you can dip your ring and then brush it with the little brush and then rinse it.

Also, it should say inside your ring shank 14k or 18k if it is white gold and something like plat950 in a platinum ring.
 
Date: 8/10/2006 11:54:24 AM
Author: nytemist

I have found a GREAT way to clean it. My last trip to the dentist I was given a bunch of those tiny little brushes to get between your teeth. Since they do nothing for my teeth, I started to use it to clean the ring! They are small, the bristles are really soft and it can fit the tiny space between the stone and the prongs. I dab a bit Windex or soap and water, brush for a couple of minutes and viola!
Click to expand...
Mara used to use the same thing - those little dental brushes - to clean her first stone until she found out the metal from the brush was leaving deposits on her diamond that looked like scratches.

The stone had to be bathed in an acid bath to remove them!

I know this thread occurred before many of you found PS, so linking the thread below.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/scratches-on-diamond-experts.10235/page-2
 
We set our date about 4 weeks after we got engaged. We knew we were going to have a short engagement, plus we had an excuse, in that my brother got married about 3 weeks after we got engaged, so we put everyone off by saying we were waiting to get through his wedding before setting our own date.

As for the ring wearing, I never take mine off. Only to clean it. I wear it in the shower, out boating on the river, to the gym, sleeping. What''s the point of having a beautiful ring if you can''t wear it all the time? Plus, if I was constantly taking it on and off then I would be more prone to lose it anyways (as the old saying goes... if my head wasn''t attached....) As my FI says, "it''s insured." Don''t get me wrong, I totally love my ring and want to take good care of it, but the meaning behind the ring is just as important.
 
Date: 8/10/2006 1:20:06 PM
Author: lulutheleo
What''s the point of having a beautiful ring if you can''t wear it all the time? Plus, if I was constantly taking it on and off then I would be more prone to lose it anyways (as the old saying goes... if my head wasn''t attached....) As my FI says, ''it''s insured.'' Don''t get me wrong, I totally love my ring and want to take good care of it, but the meaning behind the ring is just as important.
Click to expand...


While I understand the sentiment behind this I would have to disagree. Rings can be dangerous during construction projects/hard labor and the prongs are just not made to stand up to 24/7 use. Although it may be insured, I personally would rather not deal with costly repairs or going through trying to replace it. Not to mention the headache and premiums going up. I think that is the point of a wedding band- to wear it (almost) all the time. Except for construction projects or hard work with your hands, of course. I think those that have white gold prongs need to be especially careful.
 
The kind of little brushes I have are plastic in the center. I would never dream of using the ones that have metal in them. I''d be nervous that the metal tip would scratch the stone.

Even though my ring is not from Tiffany, I went in to the store one day to ask if they could check my prongs. I asked about wearing it, linen wearing down the prongs and all that. The jeweler there said that a ring with good craftmanship would stand up to daily wear, as long as you aren''t banging it constantly, and water doesn''t affect the metal as much as people think. Also, that it would take a very long time, probably longer than the length of the marriage (his words, jokingly) before sheets could wear down prongs when sleeping. I wear mine pretty much all the time and he said mine looks great.

Though he did kind of have my view of the shank maybe being too thin for my hand, since I have big man hands.
 
Date: 8/10/2006 1:30:17 PM
Author: pinkflamingo

While I understand the sentiment behind this I would have to disagree. Rings can be dangerous during construction projects/hard labor and the prongs are just not made to stand up to 24/7 use. Although it may be insured, I personally would rather not deal with costly repairs or going through trying to replace it. Not to mention the headache and premiums going up. I think that is the point of a wedding band- to wear it (almost) all the time. Except for construction projects or hard work with your hands, of course. I think those that have white gold prongs need to be especially careful.
Click to expand...

pinkflamingo, and you are absolutely right, and I respect your point of view. Of course if I was operating heavy machinery every day, I might have a different story. However, I have an office job, so I''m not too worried about it. Also, my mother and my grandmother both have worn their wedding rings all the time and never take them off. Plus, my FI believes in using something until it wears out, so... ya know... if I ever want an upgrade.....
 
Date: 8/10/2006 2:48:17 PM
Author: lulutheleo
Date: 8/10/2006 1:30:17 PM

Author: pinkflamingo


While I understand the sentiment behind this I would have to disagree. Rings can be dangerous during construction projects/hard labor and the prongs are just not made to stand up to 24/7 use. Although it may be insured, I personally would rather not deal with costly repairs or going through trying to replace it. Not to mention the headache and premiums going up. I think that is the point of a wedding band- to wear it (almost) all the time. Except for construction projects or hard work with your hands, of course. I think those that have white gold prongs need to be especially careful.
Click to expand...


pinkflamingo, and you are absolutely right, and I respect your point of view. Of course if I was operating heavy machinery every day, I might have a different story. However, I have an office job, so I''m not too worried about it. Also, my mother and my grandmother both have worn their wedding rings all the time and never take them off. Plus, my FI believes in using something until it wears out, so... ya know... if I ever want an upgrade.....
Click to expand...


Oh, I am so with you on that point. Puts ring on and wears it 24/7 now. upgrade, here i come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Fisher, everyone asked us if we''d set the date as soon as we announced our engagement. I guess that''s what people do.

Here was our plan. Before we got engaged, FI & I decided that we would tell everyone we were taking the summer off to just enjoy our engagement & share this special time with each other before wedding planning craziness set in. We told them we would start thinking about the wedding details in the fall & would let them know when we had a plan. (We got engaged in July.) We wanted to make sure we were 100% certain what we wanted to do before everyone else jumped in with their suggestions.
27.gif


When we told people this, they respected our choice & didn''t bug us with a million wedding-related questions. In the meantime, we had plenty of time to figure out what we wanted to do, so by September we were ready to share the wedding plans with our nearest & dearest & move forward & confirm a date. We got married on April 29th, after a 9 month engagement.

I think giving people a firm timeline as to when we would discuss the wedding plans helped a lot.

As for the ring, I take mine off at night & put it on again before I leave in the morning. I would be nervous to shower or sleep in my ring.

So, any ETA on when we get to see pics of your sparkler?
31.gif
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top