To cheer us up, the memes thread

[Garnetgirl]

Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

 

[Garnetgirl]

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

 

[Garnetgirl]

What is a "free" gift?
Aren't all gifts free?

 

[Matata]

 

[sledge]

 

[sledge]

 

[sledge]

 

[Wink]

Me too. I edited my post to state it was later the same day. I had to contemplate the time line. The end of the story was humorous, but much too long to tell on a phone.

Okay, I was asked. This is a long story, feel free to skip. I have changed many of my dialogues to read (expletives deleted) so as not to be given a time out.

It was probably late November or early December of 1968 when this happened. I was TDY (Temporary Duty) from my artillery battery to man a 50 Caliber machine gun as a blocker for a push down the Ho Chi Minh trail to try to stop some of the supplies for the coming year's Tet offensive. I had an agunner and a squad of grunts for protection, which I had deployed in a semi circle behind me at about a 50 yard radius. This was real nice, as I did not have to lug all of the bullets with me, but I did carry the 50 cal and my agunner carried the tripod for it. We were perhaps 500 yards south of the DMZ, so it was more than a little dicey.

We went quietly to the position of our posting a little after sunrise and the first order I gave was to deploy the grunts with instructions to make nice foxholes. My agunner and I dug a somewhat larger one since there were two of us. About ten hundred hours, we heard movement below us and asked permission to let loose with the 50 Cal. Granted and I fired two or three hundred rounds over a short period of time, achieving a secondary explosion from something in the canyon below.

At about thirteen hundred hours, I got a radio message stating a forward observer on the far side of the canyon spotted two enemy combatants about a hundred yards below us on a small bunker. Again I requested permission to fire and was told the rounds were going over the head of the enemy combatants. (every fifth round was a tracer and easily visible.)

I was told the Forward observer wanted to call in a fire mission starting at 100 yards from my position and walk the rounds in until he got the bunker and the enemy combatants. I said I was okay with that, but was he sure he was not seeing us? He was sure. I had my agunner go back and spread the word to the grunts they needed to be in their fox holes as we were going to do a close fire mission.

When he returned a few minutes later, I informed the fire control people that we were ready and asked them to be sure to start at least 100 yards from my position and walk the rounds up only after I confirmed permission.

Less than two minutes later, the first round went off, about 15 yards from my fox hole. I kept my head down and started screaming into the phone. "Check Fire, check (expletive deleted) fire, stop shooting you (expletives deleted.) What the (expletive deleted) is wrong with you (expletives deleted?)

"This is Colonel xxxx, who is broadcasting this garbage over open channel, you are way out of line. Repeat, this is NOT proper procedure."

"This is Corporal Jones, (Expletive deleted) procedure, you (expletive deleted, expletive deleted, mother expletive deleted) are trying to kill us and I am due to rotate in a short time. Check (Expletive deleted) fire."

"Fire has been checked, there are still rounds in the air. I do not want to hear any more of your vulgarity over the air, understood, Corporal?"

"Yes Sir, Sir."

I think all of us took turns relieving ourselves, I know I did. Criminy, I wanted to get my hands on that (expletive deleted) forward observer.

About thirty minutes later we received a call that Colonel XXXX was on his way to our position and we were not to shoot him.

When he got there, he called out, "Where is Corporal Jones?"

I called out, "Here, Sir." He came down to where I was, asked what the hullabalu was all about, and when I showed him the crater where the first round had landed he nodded as if he understood why I was more than a little "out of line" in my lack of proper radio procedure. A little further into the conversation he explained where the FO was and was offended when I asked if I could call in a practice mission 100 yards in front of his position.

He was just starting to tell me he had had enough of my "coarseness and attitude when a group of rock monkeys started swinging through the trees behind us. Every man jack of us put our guns to our shoulders and the Colonel shouted, "Don't shoot men, you will compromise your position."

I laughed out loud and replied, "Begging your pardon Sir, but I think our position is well and truly compromised."

He actually laughed back and suggested I and my men come back to our landing zone for the balance of the day.

That night he earned a great deal of the respect I had not shown during the day. The Vietnamese Combatants had been taking target practice at our supply choppers all day and many of the troops did not have rations. He and several of the officers under his command went through the landing zone and gave away their personal rations rather than letting the men go unfed.

After a boring day the Colonel and I were in the back of a Cobra Gunship being transferred to another LZ from which we would be transported back to our regular commands. After half an hour or so of flight, there were suddenly green tracers flowing up towards us from the jungle below. The pilot in front of me lowered his hand to a keyboard between his seat and the copilots and typed in something then reached up to his control stick and pushed a button. Five rockets left their launcher and seconds later that whole segment of the jungle became an inferno of fire and there were no more tracers. I said in awe to the pilot, "You never looked at the keyboard." He replied, "That would have given the (expletive deleted) another couple of seconds to try to zero in on us."

I turned to the Colonel and said, "Darn Sir, I am really glad we are on this side of the war, we do not play nicely." He gave me a big grin and agreed.

The next day we rode together in a much slower and less impressive helicopter and when we got to my battery position he excused himself and said he was going to speak to my CO. I figured I was toast. I got my gear and he came back out with the CO and I saluted him as he boarded to go. As the bird was disappearing over the ridge, my Captain said the Colonel told him I was one of the finest young Marines he had ever met. (50 some years later, I am still not sure I believe this.) Ten days later I was on a bird back to the States.

 

[missy]

 

[sledge]

@Wink thank you for sharing that story. I am beyond impressed that so few expletives were used. My report would have looked like a black pen exploded if it was redacted, lol.

Anyhow, glad you made it out well. The world is a better place.

 

[sledge]

 

[sledge]

 

[sledge]

 

[sledge]

 

[sledge]

 

[sledge]

 

[Wink]

@Wink thank you for sharing that story. I am beyond impressed that so few expletives were used. My report would have looked like a black pen exploded if it was redacted, lol.

Anyhow, glad you made it out well. The world is a better place.

LOL. Literally! 1. I do not now, nor did I then, smoke. I did smoke some nasty cigars during my fraternity chapter meetings, as a response to their refusal to ban smoking during the meetings. The second meeting I attended was, if my memory serves, the last in which there was any smoking during the chapter meetings.

2. We did not have any "quality" beers, in 'Nam. maybe in the officer's bars, but not for us enlisteds. We got a daily ration of two beers that were warm and nearly undrinkable. Some way off the charts crappy beer. I am not sure I have ever even seen it in the States. You can guess at just how crappy it was because I am calling the Bud Light a quality beer...

One of the things I loved about my 7 day R&R in Sydney was the quality and variety of beers available. My favorite then was Dinner Ale, Dear Annie, as it was called by the locals. I am not sure where I would place it today, as it was mid 1968 after all, and I have indulged in a LOT of very good beers since then.

My dog choice has nearly always been a black lab, although I once had a fantastic Chessy and I have always loved the look of a fine shepherd. Resa and I even had a wonderful Belgian Tervuren that died of an infection from stepping on a thorn when he was about 18 month old.

Anyway, thank you for your kind words and especially for your picture of the tricked out shepherd.

 

[sledge]

 

[sledge]

 

[sledge]

 

[Garnetgirl]

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once but I didn't like it."

So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"

But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once but I didn't like it."

The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."

The bartender said, "Let me guess, your only son?"

 

[sledge]

Not really a meme but…..

 

[TooPatient]

 

[Matata]

 

[sledge]

 

[missy]

 

[sledge]

 

[AdaBeta27]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]