two receptions

[Gwyn]

Okay, heres a little background.

My fiance and I reccently moved to the west coast where all of his family is. My family, however, is all on the east coast. I want to be able to plan my main wedding and such and feel it would be too difficult to do so if I had it on the east coast. Not to mention, the west coast has some lovely spots.

The only problem with this is that practically noone from my side of the family will be able to attend. Just immediate family, grand and god parents and some of my friends. It wont make for too unbalanced of a party because my finace has a very small family and circle of friends. So we are looking at maybe 16 from my side and 20 - 30 from his.

The problem is I have about 50 more close relatives (we are a pretty big family) that would not be able to make it out and my mother really wants to have something on the east coast.

I know that people who have destination weddings often have events in their home town areas as well and I was just kind of looking for some insight as to what they do.

My fiance and I are thinking of having a short vow exchange near the beginning of our reception (after pics) and then the main reception (thats really all)

When people have a second gathering do they have just a reception, do they redo the whole thing, do people just have maybe a cocktail kind of party, in which case would the bride and groom still wear bridal attire. I admit it might be nice to get a second use out of my dress (if it holds up to the first use LOL) but woudl doing that seem odd if we were just having a large dinner at a place with some dancing.

I am just wondering how others who got married far away or maybe in the same spot we are with half of one persons family being on one side and the other''s family on the other side of the country/planet worked their weddings.

 

[neatfreak]

Our game plan is:

1. Get married in San Francisco in October with 40 people there. Close friends and close family only.

2. In December, we'll go to the East Coast where my family is and they will have a party for us. Casual, my parents will make a lot of food and everyone will bring kids, etc. At their home.

3. In January we will visit FI's family in San Diego and have another reception there, probably the same deal as the one on the East Coast, but probably a BBQ or something.

Both won't have formal invites or anything, more of a casual get together. No vows except in October.

Hope that helps!


ETA: Just an FYI, I don't know what your situation is, but when we decided to have it in SF we figured we would get 20 people tops. Turns out EVERYONE we invited wants to come! So just be aware of that possible situation...we weren't!

 

[Independent Gal]

I've been wondering about this too (even though it's jumping the gun). Our families are spread across three countries and two continents. And none of them are in the country we actually LIVE in. Getting the picture? Multiple parties / receptions seems to be the solution, but I also wondered about bridal attire.

Also, do guests feel bummed if they don't get to see you exchange vows?

 

[zoebartlett]

My friend got married in Ireland, where her husband is from. Several of my friends' other friends and co-workers either couldn't make the trip overseas or they had not been invited to the wedding. About a month after their honeymoon, my friend and her husband held another reception for anyone who wasn't at the wedding but who they wanted to celebrate with. It was great! We went to both and the wedding in Ireland was amazing! The wedding was in a church and reception was at a country club. The second reception was a catered BBQ at a park nearby where they now live in the US. That was fun too. The second one was definitely less formal and more laidback, and my friend and her husband were so glad that they could have everyone there to celebrate, whether it was overseas or here.

ETA: I forgot to add that since the second reception was more like a big party, everyone, including the bride and groom, wore casual clothes (sun dresses, shorts, etc.).

 

[repartee]

I''m getting married in five weeks (*gulp*) on my fiance''s family farm/weekend place in Wisconsin. For a variety of reasons (e.g. size of shelter in case of tornado haha), it will be a very intimate gathering of about 60 close family and friends. Two weeks after the wedding, my mom and dad are throwing us a Chinese banquet/reception at a restaurant in my hometown of San Antonio. That will have about 150 people there. Only dinner as far as I know...my dad may say a few words, but no dancing. We may make some sort of "entrance". I would LOVE to wear my dress again, but alas, it may be a tad too formal.

Good luck!
Grace