Ugliest Christmas Ornament

[crowmama]

Here''s my suggestion, and it has actually won a couple of local awards for ugliest centerpiece, so I''m scaling this down...

For ugliest centerpiece, i take the turkey bones (you know, the big breast bone on the big turkey) and gently boil the meat off. Let it dry thoroughly, and spray paint the little fella with gold metalic paint.

Since that is a little big to hang off the tree, you might want to scale down to, say, cornish hen size. You could then adorn it with a festive little bell and bow.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 12/7/2006 10:31:51 AM
Author: Pricescope
That face actually might be good on the tree next to the feast table - ''Don''t drink too much'' kind of reminder. Hangover is not a pretty thing?


We had a funny story about Christmas Decoration nightmares and how scary and irritating an innocent design may be to a particular person.

Our school was next door to a huge amusement park. Every season the management decorated the gates with 50 meters Snowflake of 8 stars.

Our crystallography professor 80 yo lady freaked out every time for several years it was up. ''Water does not form 4th symmetry!'' - she screamed.

We thought it was hilarious.

I can picture the scene, too funny!

The face does look like it should be named "The Morning After" or "The Corpse". Either way it''s hideous. And now some lucky duck gets to hang it on his or her tree.

 

[TravelingGal]

What a funny contest...I love your family''s sense of humor.

I don''t have anything to contribute, but I think so far Vegas Angel wins. That was downright scary. It''s the Lord of the Flies christmas. eek.

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 12/7/2006 10:17:28 AM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 12/7/2006 2:41:23 AM
Author: kcoursolle
Here''s a very tacky leg lamp ornament:
http://www.amazon.com/CHRISTMAS-STORY-Movie-LAMP-ORNAMENT/dp/B0006TSUC0/sr=8-2/qid=1165475921/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/105-3581621-7197221?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden

kc,

My parents actually have this leg lamp up in their family room, year round no less. I bought it for my dad for Christmas 2 years ago and he thought it was so funny he won''t take it down. He loves A Christmas Story the movie. Their house is so nicely decorated (I kid you not) and in the middle of it all stands the leg.

That''s hillarious!!!

 

[VegasAngel]

Ha, I think the alligator & lamp ornaments are stupid funny.

 

[Ann]

Date: 12/7/2006 10:23:04 AM
Author: Dee*Jay
The shrunken head listing is gone from e-bay.

OK, fess up -- which one of you bought it?!?



>>

Dee Jay,

I think the morgue reported it missing and back it went !!

 

[VegasAngel]

Hey, that ugly face is still available. I cant believe it''s $64.

It makes me think of that House Of Wax movie or even Saw.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 12/7/2006 2:23:31 PM
Author: kcoursolle

Date: 12/7/2006 10:17:28 AM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 12/7/2006 2:41:23 AM
Author: kcoursolle
Here''s a very tacky leg lamp ornament:
http://www.amazon.com/CHRISTMAS-STORY-Movie-LAMP-ORNAMENT/dp/B0006TSUC0/sr=8-2/qid=1165475921/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/105-3581621-7197221?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden

kc,

My parents actually have this leg lamp up in their family room, year round no less. I bought it for my dad for Christmas 2 years ago and he thought it was so funny he won''t take it down. He loves A Christmas Story the movie. Their house is so nicely decorated (I kid you not) and in the middle of it all stands the leg.

That''s hillarious!!!

Tell me about it. If you didn''t know the movie and came to my parents'' house you''d think they have very strange taste! Too funny.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/7/2006 1:39:43 AM
Author: diamondfan
Not being Christian is it ignorant to ask what a pig has to do with Xmas other than to be on the table with an apple in it''s mouth?

We aren''t christian either, but we still have a tree - and I don''t think we have any pigs, but we definitely have a very eclectic lot including many things that just aren''t christmasy... we have a green pickle ornament but supposedly that''s an old german tradition?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/7/2006 1:44:07 AM
Author: diamondfan

are some of these jokes, seriously? we do not celebrate Christmas but even if we did I cannot imagine having those on my tree... I would be a silver tinsel, snowflakes and white tiny lights type of girl, maybe throw in some ribbons but some of this stuff is just insane to me!

yes - some are humorous on purpose.... like someone living down in florida who loves aligators and has all sorts of aligator stuff - you could get them that one lol

I have been collecting for two trees over the years.... one tree will be colored lights with all of the bright colorful things we''ve picked over the years the other will have white lights and all of my clear, white, silver, gold ornaments plus if I feel like having a color theme I can borrow a few of a particular color from the other tree. I haven''t started having two trees yet... prob in a couple years.... well, we do have two trees but the 2nd is a small one we put in the kids room with white lights, strung popcorn, and handmade snowflakes out of paper. We don''t save those deocrations except the lights lol So I guess some day we''ll have 3 trees LOL!! For me it is more of a solstice thing than a christmas thing. I don''t do yule - but for me it is all about the passing of the earth around the sun and celebrating the coming of light!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/7/2006 2:43:40 AM
Author: kcoursolle
These are actually kind of cute, but I wouldn''t want them on my tree...perfect for a bachelor though:
http://www.amazon.com/Glass-Ornaments-Kurt-Adler-C1608/dp/B000HLJMJW/sr=8-42/qid=1165477380/ref=sr_1_42/105-3581621-7197221?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden

I like things like this but I wouldn''t do the whole set... I would just do the 8 ball... unless there was a particular number that meant something to me, but probably just the 8 ball because the others alone might be too vague LOL I do have a disco ball on my tree!! There are no two ornaments on my tree that are the same. I like that each one tells its own story.... people come over and spend an hour just looking at it LOL

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/7/2006 2:24:33 AM
Author: monarch64
Ok, DF I want to see the ugliest ornament/dreidl/whatever your religion is/symbol ever. Now. LOL!

speaking of white elephant religious symbols.... omg... when we got married one of our gifts was - and I''m not exaggerating in the least here - a gold plastic last supper with a mirrored background. No kidding! The frame and figures of the last supper were all stamped from a single piece of goldish plastic and set with the mirror behind the figures. It was about 2 feet long too! Yeah, that wasn''t going on the wall LOL Sorry if this offends anyone hanging gold plastic mirror backed last suppers on their walls!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/7/2006 10:31:51 AM
Author: Pricescope
That face actually might be good on the tree next to the feast table - ''Don''t drink too much'' kind of reminder. Hangover is not a pretty thing?


We had a funny story about Christmas Decoration nightmares and how scary and irritating an innocent design may be to a particular person.

Our school was next door to a huge amusement park. Every season the management decorated the gates with 50 meters Snowflake of 8 stars.

Our crystallography professor 80 yo lady freaked out every time for several years it was up. ''Water does not form 4th symmetry!'' - she screamed.

We thought it was hilarious.

yes - it''s supposed to be 6 and occasionally you see 8 but I STG last christmas one of the snowflakes a kid had drawn on the door for the holiday had *7* arms LOL I couldn''t figure out how they did it, but there it was!!!

 

[ephemery1]

I''m not sure it''s possible to beat THIS ...

Don''t even ask me how I stumbled upon such a treasure...

 

[AmberWaves]

Secret Santa gift? Does santa hate me? I''d love to see the gem of a person who collected that beaut!

 

[Christa]

Date: 12/8/2006 12:55:33 PM
Author: ephemery1
I''m not sure it''s possible to beat THIS ...

Don''t even ask me how I stumbled upon such a treasure...

Wow, that''s really . . . something.

 

[ephemery1]

Haha... it really is pretty awful.

But now I''m on a roll here... how about THIS?

 

[VegasAngel]

ephemery1 those are too funny. How do people come up with this stuff?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/8/2006 2:10:51 PM
Author: VegasAngel
ephemery1 those are too funny. How do people come up with this stuff?

as a joke a few years ago a friend sent me a set of drums.... they were made by cutting a roll of toilet paper in two, wrapping them in red onstruction paper, drawing black lines on them, putting a white top on them, and gluing flat toothpicks as drumsticks LOL It was actually very sweet lol

 

[Christa]

Date: 12/8/2006 1:16:29 PM
Author: ephemery1
Haha... it really is pretty awful.

But now I''m on a roll here... how about THIS?

Now that? Is just wrong.

 

[belle]

wow...no one has bid on deer scat or tampon ornaments...what a surprise!

amazing.

best of luck kimberly! i think you have some good contenders here.

 

[Gypsy]

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

I just had to say it.

From the freaky House of Horrors face ornament to Diamondfan''s serious querry about pigs and Christmas (and everyone''s discussions thereof) ....

Deer poop is just... priceless.
Tampon is frankly WRONG-- but creative.

Freaky face wins for me... although now I''m going to spend lunch trying to out do the freaky face... which for me is by FAR the uglies oranment EVER.

DF-- I''m a Christmas tree control freak. White lights only. Clear glass and crystal ornaments must be majority (cleanned and sparkly and backlit with the white lights). Silver and Gold ornaments too. Riendeer are my favorite. Oh and for color? Red. But as an accent only. Not dominating the tree. My mother got me a few green ornaments one year (not lime green mine you...Closer to hunter green) but they don''t show up against the fresh green tree... so I use them to decorate the back of the tree.

 

[AmberWaves]

Along the lines of Ephem''s find, this one is a little more um... festive? Lovely Ornament

 

[Dee*Jay]

Date: 12/8/2006 3:52:24 PM
Author: AmberWaves
Along the lines of Ephem''s find, this one is a little more um... festive? Lovely Ornament

Can''t they at least call it something like "snowman poop"?

 

[Gypsy]

Then there is this one: http://cgi.ebay.com/ANTIQUE-GERMAN-COTTON-WITCH-CHRISTMAS-ORNAMENT-CA-1900_W0QQitemZ140060615774QQihZ004QQcategoryZ33835QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Witches generally... http://cgi.ebay.com/RADKO-WITCH-HIDEOUS-LYDIA-4-5-Glass-Ornament-NEW_W0QQitemZ6287030051QQihZ010QQcategoryZ13786QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItem

My hunch that "unusual" is a synomym for ugly pays off: http://cgi.ebay.com/2-Unusual-Vintage-Blown-Glass-Clown-Christmas-Ornaments_W0QQitemZ230060081441QQihZ013QQcategoryZ48791QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

 

[Gypsy]

Other than oddly phallic... I have no IDEA what this is supposed to be. http://cgi.ebay.com/1890-GERMAN-GLASS-WIRE-CHRISTMAS-ORNAMENT-UNUSUAL_W0QQitemZ170056534135QQihZ007QQcategoryZ33835QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

The Germans are getting high marks today. http://cgi.ebay.com/1890-GERMAN-GLASS-WIRE-CHRISTMAS-ORNAMENT-UNUSUAL_W0QQitemZ170056535082QQihZ007QQcategoryZ33835QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

How about a tree topper? http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-Decor-USA-made-Mica-Tree-Topper-Angel_W0QQitemZ200054192741QQihZ010QQcategoryZ33835QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

 

[Gypsy]

Oh wow. Love Birds. http://cgi.ebay.com/OLD-VINTAGE-CHRISTMAS-ORNAMENT-LOVE-BIRDS_W0QQitemZ300055966875QQihZ020QQcategoryZ33835QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Donkey??? http://cgi.ebay.com/Unique-Rocking-Donkey-Ass-Mule-Figurine-Ornament_W0QQitemZ180058686286QQihZ008QQcategoryZ13646QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Santa as you''ve never seen him before: http://cgi.ebay.com/Unusual-Tales-From-The-Crypt-Christmas-Ornament_W0QQitemZ140060226067QQihZ004QQcategoryZ1368QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

This poor moose looks vaguely embarrased. http://cgi.ebay.com/Christopher-Radko-Christmas-Moose-Ornament-2006_W0QQitemZ110063497542QQihZ001QQcategoryZ13786QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Dog?
http://cgi.ebay.com/UNUSUAL-COMICAL-GREYHOUND-HEAD-POTTERY-DOG-ORNAMENT_W0QQitemZ180059395428QQihZ008QQcategoryZ10843QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Who would put this on a tree???? http://cgi.ebay.com/V-unusual-china-ornament-of-Satan-in-motor-car-c-1905_W0QQitemZ120061800426QQihZ002QQcategoryZ60814QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Unique is a another synonym apparently. http://cgi.ebay.com/UNIQUE-TENNIS-TENNISBALL-SANTA-CHRISTMAS-ORNAMENT-NEW_W0QQitemZ170056847368QQihZ007QQcategoryZ33864QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Not as bad as the tampon... but still ugly. http://cgi.ebay.com/UNIQUE-SANTA-CHRISTMAS-DECORATION-ORNAMENT_W0QQitemZ250056784993QQihZ015QQcategoryZ148QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

If you cross your eyes and squint it MIGHT be a cat. http://cgi.ebay.com/ANTIQUE-CAT-CHRISTMAS-ORNAMENT-BAKELITE-UNIQUE_W0QQitemZ140060640219QQihZ004QQcategoryZ33835QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

I''ve still got another 500 "unique" ornaments to go!

 

[Gypsy]

OMFG!!!!! Ugly and racist. Lovely. /cgi.ebay.com/Antique-Wax-Black-Americana-Christmas-Ornament_W0QQitemZ220055862899QQihZ012QQcategoryZ33835QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem]http://cgi.ebay.com/Antique-Wax-Black-Americana-Christmas-Ornament_W0QQitemZ220055862899QQihZ012QQcategoryZ33835QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem[/url]">

The Christmas tart ornament: /cgi.ebay.com/Sadie-Strumpet-Diva-Amy-Brown-Faery-Art-Work-Fairy_W0QQitemZ300055955118QQihZ020QQcategoryZ35875QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem]http://cgi.ebay.com/Sadie-Strumpet-Diva-Amy-Brown-Faery-Art-Work-Fairy_W0QQitemZ300055955118QQihZ020QQcategoryZ35875QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem[/url]">

 

[AmberWaves]

Gypsy, is that phallic one a uvula? YEEECH. And gotta love the racist bastards feelin'' festive.

Also, ANY ORNAMENT WITH CLOWNS SHOULD WIN. I am honestly terrified of clowns!

 

[Dee*Jay]

That donkey looks p!ssed off, LOL!

Like: Who nailed my hooves to these stupid pieces of wood?!?