Unique, personal weddings

[leeenie]

Some people have posted in the Cookie Cutter Weddings thread about the unique things they''re having at their wedding, but I thought it might be helpful to have it in a separate thread. If you''re doing something non-traditional, post here!

We might get married in a park, possibly with a ceremony that''s just the 2 of us; then have a casual dinner at a nearby restaurant for 30-40 people (but I still plan on wearing a pretty dress). Probably won''t have attendants, professional hair/makeup or a DJ, but I do want nice photos.

The parents want big banquets to invite business acquaintances, distant relatives and friends from 20 years ago who they speak to less than once a year...but that''s another story!

 

[E B]

I guess one unique aspect of our wedding would be our choice of food: mexican! Neither of us liked the fancy wedding food idea, and mexican food is our absolute favorite. No jokes, we could eat it every day. It'll be messy, but fun, we hope.

We still haven't decided on *the* place for the ceremony/reception (though I thought we had) but we're thinking either the Arboretum, the Texas Discovery Gardens, or the Dallas World Aquarium. At the Dallas World Aquarium, they have several dining rooms showcasing the different habitats. We both agree this would be *such* a cool idea, but we're not sure of the cost (the Aquarium has tons of little add-ons). I was also worried about a possible smell, but I've have since been assured that the rooms smell like rooms, not like fish tanks. Phew!

We're foregoing a band or a DJ and doing our own music with an iPod and some speakers. Our friend will do the DJ-ing. I'm not sure if this is unique or not, but it sure is a money saver!

 

[flutterby]

We wanted ''island'' tropical food so the chef put together a fun menu of tropical food. Spicy tuna rolls, hawiian salad, macadamia crusted mahi, lychee sorbet,jerk chicken etc.....

Also, my FI loves banana flavored sweets, so we are having a bananas foster flambee station that we are really excited about.

My FMIL is insisting on doing OOT bags, since everyone is coming to vegas for the wedding. However, since we met at whole foods, she bought whole foods reusable/cancas grocery bags to use.

Ebree we are also using the ipod, which may not be terribly unique, but the music we play certainly will be!

 

[Selkie]

Not much typical about ours. It will be on a sailboat, and we won''t have much in the way of flowers, or traditional wedding rituals. No walk down the aisle to Pachelbels Canon in D or Here comes the bride, everyone will just gather around the wheel. There will probably be no dancing, except maybe a first dance to an iPod mix. A friend will be doing the ceremony, and knowing him, he''ll throw in some unexpected humor. We went over it with him, and it will take all of 5-7 minutes. Then we can go sailing, and enjoy some lobster and clam chowder! I probably will wear an ivory dress, but I''m thinking of sewing it myself, and my FI will be wearing a linen guayabera (traditional embroidered Cuban shirt). We''ll probably have some kind of literal knot-tying ceremony, too. Basically, it''s totally us.

 

[Selkie]

Date: 3/24/2006 6:42:27 PM
Author: msflutter
We wanted ''island'' tropical food so the chef put together a fun menu of tropical food. Spicy tuna rolls, hawiian salad, macadamia crusted mahi, lychee sorbet,jerk chicken etc.....

YUM! I wanna come to your wedding!

 

[firebirdgold]

Date: 3/24/2006 6:45:05 PM
Author: Selkie

Date: 3/24/2006 6:42:27 PM

Author: msflutter

We wanted ''island'' tropical food so the chef put together a fun menu of tropical food. Spicy tuna rolls, hawiian salad, macadamia crusted mahi, lychee sorbet,jerk chicken etc.....

YUM! I wanna come to your wedding!

Oooh, Lychee sorbet!

My sister is violently anti-wedding. She wants it to be a unique and personal celebration of two people legally joining together for life and exchanging vows in front of friends and family. er.. kinda thought that was a wedding.

Current plans: Villa in Tuscany, lavendar outfit called a lehenga choli from india, bare feet, no flowers, anti-pasto finger food, no music (maybe ipod background music), no special lighting (she ixnay''d our candle ideas), and no cake. Although when she said this last part mom heard a plantive voice in the background saying ''what about cupcakes?''

 

[glaucomflecken]

I posted some of this in the other thread, sorry if you already read this heehee. I think a lot of the uniqueness of our wedding was partly the quirks that went wrong! LOL

Our wedding was a Scottish Italian themed wedding to start. I also threw in my love of roses, bows and ribbons and sparklie things (im such a girly girl, poor DH!)

*To start, our save the dates were Scottish tartan magnets, big hit!
*DH wore a kilt. It was a military kilt so it honored his service and his heritage. He and one of our former military GM also wore mini medals of the ones they earned in the service.
*We had a bagpiper pipe me down the aisle, march us out, he played for us during the receiving line outside church, and piped us into the reception hall.
*Our wedding colors were not common: Hunter green with accents of navy, red and gold (to match DH''s kilt). The boys wore tartan pocketfolds and the girls flowers were wrapped in tartan ribbon
*Our table cards and place cards had pictures and names of Scottish and Italian cities on them
*Favors were Italian jordan almonds with an Italian poem, plus decorated with Italian and Saltire toothpick flags
*Mom walked me down the aisle. My dad passed away, so I pinned his wedding band to my bouquet so I had a part of him walking down the aisle with me.
*Our invitations were custom made with tartan print and also pics of us as children. I got persecuted on the knot when I asked about this idea, saying what a loser I was basically. Everyone on PS helped me create them and they were a HIT (so take that mean knotties! *sticks out tongue*)
*I wore the toss away garter, which was a hello kitty one, and DH wore the keeper Hello Kitty garter in secret, so after he took mine off at the reception, he sat down and I reached under his kilt and pulled off the garter on him! The crowd went nuts! It was so funny, esp since DH is such a big typical MAN, which made it even funnier
*We played a Carpenters song for our first dance that had special meaning to us
*We used a guestbook from guestbookstore.com, and I made up funny signs with instruction for everyone, scattered markers on the tables to fill them out, everyone was scribbling like a kindergartner, having fun!
*I wrote a story in the back of our programs about our history together, which brought everyone to tears
* Not original, but we placed framed wedding and family photos on the table with our placecards for display. VERY sentimental for me since many of those people were unable to come, or have passed away.
*Used a tablecloth on the cake table that was made for us by a friend with pics of us from childhood on up.
*Played special songs for each family during the reception...very meaningful. Also revived some childhood dance moves with my sisters and childhood friends and performed for everyone...what dorks we were!!!
* Had Italian food, music, and Scotch (LOL)


WOW that was long, sorry! I wanna have another wedding

 

[nicolejrx]

I think the most original thing we are doing is getting married on a Friday the 13th! My mom and her friend are making my invitations for a nice personal touch. My mom has even taken a 3 month calligraphy class to hand do my invitations! My parents are going to have their own special dance, a rhumba because they love to ballroom dance so I want the spotlight to be on them! Just a few different things my fiance and I are doing...
Nicole

 

[peonygirl]

We're at the beginning stages of planning our wedding, but here's what we have so far:

-wedding will be at a historic landmark instead of a hotel or place of worship

-Rabbi has known my DF since he was born and she's very close to his family; we will use the wine glass she gave him on his Bar Mitzah during our ceremony

-all of the Jewish traditions that a lot of people aren't familiar with (bedekin, ketubah, breaking of the glass, hora, chuppah made with the talit of my DF, his deceased father, and grandfather)

-we will have a band and a DJ, which is somewhat rare

-the ceremony music will be all Jewish wedding songs which will be new to half of our guests (instead of traditional classical music)

-ceremony will take place in a gorgeous garden with a wishing well and reflecting pools

-no garter or bouquet toss

-I will wear a veil during both the ceremony and reception instead of just briefly during the ceremony

-both parents will be walking us down the aisle and our grandparents will also walk down the aisle per Jewish tradition

-wedding will be on a Sunday afternoon instead of the traditional Sat. night

 

[ChargerGrrl]

We're in the middle of our wedding planning (got engaged in Dec, wedding is in Sept.), and I think we're doing pretty good:
- Ceremony wil be held at a winery. This place is so "us". FI and I are huge winos.
- I will not wear a veil
- Small wedding party, only MOH and BM.
- Dinner will be Italian food (our favorite!), served family-style. FI and I are not fans of long, drawn out reception dinners
- Music will be via my iPod
- And probably the coolest thing of all... FI is a homebrewer (an awesome one at that!) Early on in the planning process, we talked about brewing a special "wedding brew" to serve at the reception. We decided on an Oktoberfest-style beer, since we're getting married during Oktoberfest. Well, we're going to begin it this weekend. He's a pro at this, but it's the first time I've "assisted". Wish me luck!

 

[monarch64]

I hate to say it, but the trend now seems to be getting away from the ordinary. We went for that a few years ago (trying to make our wedding very personal, etc.) and it seems that now it is somewhat "in style" for brides and grooms to choose more "offbeat" things for their weddings. Just a thought...

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 3/25/2006 1:57:38 AM
Author: monarch64
I hate to say it, but the trend now seems to be getting away from the ordinary. We went for that a few years ago (trying to make our wedding very personal, etc.) and it seems that now it is somewhat ''in style'' for brides and grooms to choose more ''offbeat'' things for their weddings. Just a thought...

I think I know what you mean .. but "offbeat" people are always gonna be "offbeat" - trend or no trend. My friend just had a celebratory dinner five years ago & caused a stir everwhere she went by choosing "non-Wedding" invitations & a J-Lo like dress etc etc...

I selfishly wish more people would break the mold mostly ''cause I find most traditional weddings painful/un-fun.

 

[chickflick]

I think every wedding is personal as long as it''s what the bride and groom chose for themselves. The "impersonal" weddings to me are the ones where the bride and groom would have probably preferred one style of wedding but allowed family and tradition talk them into something else.

We''re getting married on a cruise ship while it''s in port on Galveston so non-sailing family and friends can attend. My mother will be my MOH and only attendant- a little unusual- and our parents plus assorted other family members will come on the honeymoon cruise with us. I think the thing that makes our wedding "us" is that it will be simple and non-fussy yet fun and not something any of our friends have done. My fiancee''s twin sister is performing our ceremony (she''s a Presbyterian minister) so there will also be a solemn, traiditonal aspect to the wedding.

 

[sunkist]

I feel like a very unique we''ll be doing for our wedding is not spending a fortune on it! I am just amazed at how people spend $10,000-20,000 and sometimes much, much more on their weddings

Perhaps it should be noted that I haven''t really started planning a wedding yet, but I recall that when my older sisters were married my parents spent $5000 or less for each of their weddings. I''m hoping mine is the same, or better - less!

Since I''m not planning a wedding yet, I wasn''t going to list any of my ideas... but! I think I''ll list a few

-reception will be at home
-my aunt is going to cater the food (yum!)
-I don''t want a receiving line or attendants, we''ll just mingle
- I really want to make my own bouquet and flower arrangements

 

[Rhapsody]

The idea of a huge wedding horrifies me, and we keep going back and forth about having a wedding at all or just eloping. But if we DO have a wedding, I have some ideas in mind, just haven''t discussed them with anyone else yet

If anyone has read Age of Innocence, there''s a description of the countess walking across a snow covered field wearing a red cape, a flame moving across the snow. It has been permanently burned into my brain and I SOO want to have an outdoor ceremony in the mountains with just the 2 of us, a photographer and possibly an officiant (not required in colorado). I want a red satin corset with a satin and tulle skirt with a handkerchief hem to echo the fire idea. For me the only thing that matters is the vows and pictures

I think I want to have a caligrapher write our vows so that we can frame them on either side of a wedding portrait.

If we have a reception, which is a big IF, I think I want to do it either at the Natural History Museum (my favourite place in the whole world) or at the butterfly pavillion. I think having pictures in the snow and then among a bunch of tropical flowers would make for a nice contrast.

We both really have minimal interest in having a reception though. We dont like parties and don''t really get along with most of our family members so it doesnt sound like much fun to me

But we definitely plan to mark our marriage with some sort of ceremony just for the two of us, I believe in the power of ritual and hate the idea of missing out on a wedding because we''re afraid of our families.

 

[lovelylulu]

our wedding is pretty much a reflection of us -- which is what i think a wedding should be

for a brief little bit of time, i entertained the idea of having a brass band -- tubas and all, new orleans style -- i love them, they are so much fun! but alas, that''s apparently not all that common up in vermont

oh well.

 

[tanyak]

I selfishly wish more people would break the mold mostly ''cause I find most traditional weddings painful/un-fun.

This scares me! I posted in the cookie-cutter board that we are using several traditional elements (cake, buffet dinner) mixed with some of the newer trends (logos, pocketfold invites), but nothing really out there. I don''t want any bored guests, but I''m also not planning a theatrical production!

I''m finding it really hard to strike that balance, and with only five months to go, what we''ve got, we''re going with. I''ll be glad when it''s over. LOL

 

[MINE!!]

Date: 3/25/2006 1:57:38 AM
Author: monarch64
I hate to say it, but the trend now seems to be getting away from the ordinary. We went for that a few years ago (trying to make our wedding very personal, etc.) and it seems that now it is somewhat ''in style'' for brides and grooms to choose more ''offbeat'' things for their weddings. Just a thought...

I have to agree with you there Monarch. The style seems to be that the bride wants something different. There are some elements of my wedding that I want that are tradtional, other I am not having cause I am but older and some cause I think they are silly and exspensive. I have been to a few ''original'' and ''unique'' weddings in the past few years and I must say my favorite and most refreshing one to attend was the tradional one.

 

[E B]

Date: 3/25/2006 1:57:38 AM
Author: monarch64
I hate to say it, but the trend now seems to be getting away from the ordinary. We went for that a few years ago (trying to make our wedding very personal, etc.) and it seems that now it is somewhat 'in style' for brides and grooms to choose more 'offbeat' things for their weddings. Just a thought...

I don't know if I agree with this. Have you been on theknot.com? Bio after bio contains the same thing in a different color than the last. I rarely stumble upon an offbeat profile, and I've never once been to an actual offbeat wedding. I guess it's personal, but I'd prefer offbeat wedding after offbeat wedding because at least people would be "mixing it up" a little. Different ideas. Unexpected events.

Religious ceremony, cocktail hour, reception with "wedding food", speeches, garter toss, bouquet toss, being assaulted with pink...it's all nice, but why does it all have to be the exact same? I don't know, tradition or not, essentially having the same wedding as your parents/sister/friend kind of takes the meaning out of a wedding for me. It's just an orchestrated party...like Deco so wonderfully described it, a bad play revived over and over again.

 

[DonaBella]

I am not a bride but rather I am the mom of a groom to be. Their wedding will have elements of traditional and also some unique traits. My son and his FI created their own announcements and came up with the wording. I like it because it is so them, not the usual. They are having a DJ, a reception, but the pics will be taken at the beach rather than by where they are getting married.

My FDIL is definitely going against what is considered ''the norm'' with her dress. She is wearing a spun gold colored strapless dress that is full from the waist down but in tiers, if that makes any sense. Sorry, I couldn''t find a picture to illustrate this. Her shoes are going to be leather or silk booties that she has had dyed to be the blue she wanted to wear for her ''something blue.'' The wedding colors are unique in a sense...rich chocolate brown, vintage gold, bronze, cream and taupe with the guys in black tuxes.

I think sometimes the more a bride tries to make her wedding so unique, it becomes less so. The fact that so much of the details are decided by the future bride and her groom make it personal and it stands out for those reasons alone.

We have been to some really boring weddings and receptions and we have also been to some weddings where elements of what is considered traditional are thrown in along with some unusal fun things and it keeps the guests thrilled to have come to the event and reassures the couple that it is truly there own...

 

[monarch64]

Date: 3/25/2006 4:47:27 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 3/25/2006 1:57:38 AM
Author: monarch64
I hate to say it, but the trend now seems to be getting away from the ordinary. We went for that a few years ago (trying to make our wedding very personal, etc.) and it seems that now it is somewhat ''in style'' for brides and grooms to choose more ''offbeat'' things for their weddings. Just a thought...

I don''t know if I agree with this. Have you been on theknot.com? Bio after bio contains the same thing in a different color than the last. I rarely stumble upon an offbeat profile, and I''ve never once been to an actual offbeat wedding. I guess it''s personal, but I''d prefer offbeat wedding after offbeat wedding because at least people would be ''mixing it up'' a little. Different ideas. Unexpected events.

Religious ceremony, cocktail hour, reception with ''wedding food'', speeches, garter toss, bouquet toss, being assaulted with pink...it''s all nice, but why does it all have to be the exact same? I don''t know, tradition or not, essentially having the same wedding as your parents/sister/friend kind of takes the meaning out of a wedding for me. It''s just an orchestrated party...like Deco so wonderfully described it, a bad play revived over and over again.

No, I haven''t been on theknot.com...the point I was trying to make was more related to PS and what I have read (and enjoyed) in the last 7-8 months since I joined. The recent threads "cookie cutter weddings" and this one just made me think that it does seem like there is somewhat of a backlash against the traditional church-ceremony-pink BM dresses-strapless wedding gown-fun classic car limo-thing. But, as Deco pointed out, there will always be leaders and followers. Those of us (including moi) who think we are trend-setters, or original, really aren''t--there are always those of us who are "offbeat" and those among us who are most content with following tradition or incorporating the trend of the day into their weddings. I don''t think either is better or worse than the other, I just fall into the category of "offbeat," and that''s my personal preference.

As long as a bride and groom end up happy with their wedding style that''s all that matters. Cookie-cutter wasn''t our style, but I''d never say it was the wrong choice for someone to make if it pleases them. The little catty part of me sometimes wants to roll its eyes when I attend a wedding that lacks character and is strictly by the book, but the little halo angel on the other shoulder keeps me from commenting on it, lol!

 

[DonaBella]

Date: 3/25/2006 7:40:08 PM
Author: DeannaBana
I am not a bride but rather I am the mom of a groom to be. Their wedding will have elements of traditional and also some unique traits. My son and his FI created their own announcements and came up with the wording. I like it because it is so them, not the usual. They are having a DJ, a reception, but the pics will be taken at the beach rather than by where they are getting married.

My FDIL is definitely going against what is considered ''the norm'' with her dress. She is wearing a spun gold colored strapless dress that is full from the waist down but in tiers, if that makes any sense. Sorry, I couldn''t find a picture to illustrate this. Her shoes are going to be leather or silk booties that she has had dyed to be the blue she wanted to wear for her ''something blue.'' The wedding colors are unique in a sense...rich chocolate brown, vintage gold, bronze, cream and taupe with the guys in black tuxes.

I think sometimes the more a bride tries to make her wedding so unique, it becomes less so. The fact that so much of the details are decided by the future bride and her groom make it personal and it stands out for those reasons alone.

We have been to some really boring weddings and receptions and we have also been to some weddings where elements of what is considered traditional are thrown in along with some unusal fun things and it keeps the guests thrilled to have come to the event and reassures the couple that it is truly there own...

I forgot to mention...their wedding will be on a Monday. They are getting married on Memorial Day since she--my FDIL--is a substitute teacher and her mom is a kindergarten teacher, they both will be off work...also, for the place they wanted it was $20 less per person for a Monday than a Thursday or Friday. I thought that was unique and frugal. Most folks will off for Memorial Day as well from their place of work.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 3/25/2006 3:42:41 PM
Author: tanyak

I selfishly wish more people would break the mold mostly ''cause I find most traditional weddings painful/un-fun.

This scares me! I posted in the cookie-cutter board that we are using several traditional elements (cake, buffet dinner) mixed with some of the newer trends (logos, pocketfold invites), but nothing really out there. I don''t want any bored guests, but I''m also not planning a theatrical production!

Don''t worry Tanyak ... I''m sure I''m in the minority! The most important thing is that you please yourselves! (It''s impossible to please every single other person - as we''re all so different!)

Also ... I can be a drama queen

..."painful/unfun" is probably too harsh. It''s what I dread the traditional wedding will be like, but 99% of the time I end up having a nice time despite myself because of the people and the joy of the event itself (not the colors/favors/cocktails/menus/obnoxious DJ/chicken dance etc) Didn''t mean to be a downer!

 

[DonaBella]

Hate...hate...HATE the chicken dance...omg! Gag!

 

[selflove]

My favorite thing we''re doing to personalize the wedding is to name the tables after places FI and I have traveled to and then putting a picture of us in that locale on the table. I have a feeling that one or two guests might think we''re "bragging" but travelling is really us, it''s what we do!

The other unique thing I want to do is when I do the bouquet toss, I want to have 3 small bouquets in my hands so that when I toss, they will separate and 3 of the single gals will get to catch a bouquet. I also was thinking about attaching a Sephora gift card to each of the bouquets, to incent the girls to go out there, but I haven''t decided for sure--I know how I''ve been at weddings when I was un-engaged, I didn''t want to go out there and make a spectacle of myself! Any opinions on the Sephora card idea?

 

[tanyak]

Date: 3/26/2006 2:32:14 AM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 3/25/2006 3:42:41 PM
Author: tanyak

I selfishly wish more people would break the mold mostly ''cause I find most traditional weddings painful/un-fun.

This scares me! I posted in the cookie-cutter board that we are using several traditional elements (cake, buffet dinner) mixed with some of the newer trends (logos, pocketfold invites), but nothing really out there. I don''t want any bored guests, but I''m also not planning a theatrical production!

Don''t worry Tanyak ... I''m sure I''m in the minority! The most important thing is that you please yourselves! (It''s impossible to please every single other person - as we''re all so different!)

Also ... I can be a drama queen

...''painful/unfun'' is probably too harsh. It''s what I dread the traditional wedding will be like, but 99% of the time I end up having a nice time despite myself because of the people and the joy of the event itself (not the colors/favors/cocktails/menus/obnoxious DJ/chicken dance etc) Didn''t mean to be a downer!

Oh no, you''re not a downer at all! It''s all good. I think I''m so worried about doing things "right," I get shaken when people poo-poo ideas I''m having. I just don''t want my guests to hate my wedding! But as people have said, you can never please everyone.

 

[MINE!!]

Don;t worry, you should know your guests most of all. You are going to plan a wedding based on how you think that your personality is best showcased. It is good to get everyone opinion... but you know what they say about opinions.....

I love the traditional wedding. I think the traditional tradtional wedding is just gorgeous and to through out tradition does not ness. make something unique. However, I will say that I cannot stand this "new traditional" type of wedding... Maybe that it what Ebree is talking about... to be honest, I never go to the knot or look at the message boards, so I am not sure.

 

[Caribou]

So over the weekend I went to my friends wedding. It was really nice, the food was really good, the cake...not to quote Rachel Ray but YUM-OH!!!!

She had 12 attendants on each side......12 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That seems excessive but that''s just my opinion. Anywho, so I was thinking how my wedding isn''t going to be like here''s....
I''m not doing the following ''traditional'' wedding things:
- My dad isn''t walking my down the aisle.
- I''m not doing the garter or bouquet toss thing (I always hated when the single people were singled out).
- Not having favors.
- this weekend fiance and I decided not to do bouts....I really wanted something that was simple not, something that was out there that was the first thing you noticed but something super subtle which I haven''t found any. I was happy when he said that he was okay without them..so we are two 2 bouquets (me and MOH) and 4 crousages (SP) for the mom''s and grandma''s. It''ll also save us money.....or give me more money to spend on my flowers.

- we aren''t having our ''first'' dance.
- we are having the cake cutting thing but I kind of think that''s silly too.

I just want to get married, have a few cocktails after....I''m not the type of person who needs to be fussed over. The reception is mostly being done for the mom''s and grandma''s.....but our reception should be pretty boring. Oh well...whose going to remember our boring reception next year!?!?

 

[sosst7]

I am glad that the offbeat non-traditional weddings are becoming in-style because my FI and I cannot afford to have the traditional wedding with all the trimmings

Since we are getting married in Hawaii and our friends and family are from the east coast, it will be a simple beach wedding ceremony with just the two of us. Afterwards, we are going to go to a luau for dinner!

 

[nytemist]

Well, it is known that our ceremony will be on Halloween (and my mom is still kind of thinking it''s a joke). iPod for music, no tossing of anything. Just found these great Halloween STD magnets, although I know I loved the other ones I posted a pic of. My crafty BM just showed me the beaded wire, handmade bouquets that I wanted to have. Also, she said she just bought a gorgeous black chiffon dress with a hankerchief hem. She then asked if could wear her beautiful pair of black feathered angel wings. I said why not?