Unusual e-ring - Need advice, please!

[dbgaap]

awww, selma, you really have a good head on your shoulders!
You are NOT being silly - you are dealing with the reality: the ring is not your ideal engagement ring and your FH did sorta miss the boat on this one. He sounds like he is being very level-headed, too, if he is encourageing you to get wht you want down the road.

If it were me, I could live with this situation. Just knowing that my hubby is on my side and willing to make concessions to please me is good enough.

It will make the eventual solution even more gratifying.
You''ll have time to consider what you really want and you can include him in the shopping & selection.
Not an ideal way to start out the engagement but it sounds like you are making the best of it.

What''s really THE BEST is the way you & DH are working it out together. THAT''s waht matter most.
All the best to you!!!

 

[FireGoddess]

I am glad to hear things are more in perspective, you''ve taken time to process your feelings and things, and that you''re thinking of moving forward. I do think the ring is not quite right for your ering but I''m glad you''re deciding to keep it as a RHR - I think it is a beautiful design and you''re right, if you try to sell or consign you won''t get nearly what it''s worth. I hope things go smoothly this time around!!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Selma, good for you for taking such a reasonable approach to this whole thing (we on PS tend to get WAY more involved in the diamond/jewelry thing that most mortals would even consider!). It''s nice too that you have options in terms of getting another ring if you want. Keep us posted!

 

[KristyDarling]

Selam, you sound like the nicest, sweetest person!! Don''t feel bad about the "drama," as you call it. What woman doesn''t dream of the beautiful engagement ring that she''ll one day receive from her true love? So of course you felt disappointed and at times, consumed by how the ring just wasn''t right. Please don''t feel guilty about having those feelings! I do think it was mature of you to decide to accept his gift as a RHR and cherish it forever for what it represents. Even though he was sorta, well, misguided about your tastes, he did his personal best and it''s great that you recognize that. (some guys REALLY get into the e-ring shopping experience and dedicate a lot of time to it, but I think they are the exception to the rule.) I''m glad your FH was understanding enough to offer a new e-ring down the line....then you can get exactly what you want. Yay! As for what to get married in, how about a gorgeous eternity band?

They''re classic and can either stand alone, or be worn beautifully next to a solitaire (if that''s in your future!). Thanks for checking back in. Please stick around!!

 

[diamondfan]

Selma, this is repetitive BUT I agree with most of the posters here. Yes, the main thing is your love for you FI and being together. Of course this is a given. But, you will be wearing this daily and should love it wholeheartedly. WHile the ring may only be a symbol on a certain level, why should you not have what makes you happy? He might be hurt but I think, since he loves you, that he would also want you to be happy! (jmho). It is also a good lesson about surprises and not knowing totally what someone is dreaming of or hoping for...I always want to have the recipient be thilled, it is about them, not me. I lived with a ring I did not love for 10 years. trust me, there are worse things in this world to deal with, but you should be thrilled. I agree it is a bit masculine and not as "engagement ring" looking as it could be, but it is really cool. But, if it is not YOUR style, that is what matters. Please do not be tough on yourself, you have your priorities straight but are just being honest! Good luck and welcome to PS!

 

[Julian]

Maybe down the road (because I think your setting is quite lovely) you could put a different stone in your e-ring setting. And you could use your diamond in the setting of your choice!

 

[selma]

I will definitely stick around - you are all so wonderful! - thanks again for helping me out!

 

[togal]

Hi Selma,

I''m glad to read that you were able to take a "vacation" from the ring thing....and gain some perspective. Contrary to popular belief, and though most women would love to have their big dream ring from the get-go.....it''s not the be-all and end-all. My engagement ring was a $700 saphire and diamond cluster ring....hardly my dream ring

. I compensated by choosing a half diamond eternity band for my wedding ring. I wore both rings proudly for a couple of years, until my husband bought me a pretty diamond cluster ring....wore that for a couple more years and finally got a diamond soliaire, we then added a matching diamond eternity band to go on the other side -- wore that for a few more years.....until now, when I recently got my "over-a-carat" diamond solitaire ring that I always wanted....and will likely change that over the next few years.....so you see, you''re just starting out, and have many years to purchase new pieces of jewellery, some you''ll love and wear often, and some you''ll get tired of and put away. As I said, the ring is not the be-all and end-all....and certainly not as important as the relationship that it represents.

Good luck with your wedding plans....and all the best.

 

[LizzieC]

I''m so glad that you''re doing well Selma!

You''re handling everything perfectly... focus on that wonderful wedding and your special man! (BTW, I vote for a diamond eternity wedding band, or a 5 stone

)

 

[sydneycasandra]

Selma,

Glad to see you''re back! I was wondering what happened...

What about a colored stone set in your ''ideal'' setting for now, with diamond replacement in a couple years? Just an idea.

Good luck!

 

[windowshopper]

Selma: Glad to hear from you.................you know as i was reading your update I couldnt help thinking that while your fiance perhaps didnt handle the ring thing so well from the beginning he was probably also embarassed and you talking about it made him feel even worse for disappointing you. SO sounds like you are headed on the right track together which is the most important thing afterall

 

[diamondfan]

Selma, I think you know he meant well, even if he did not do his homework. You have to love it, you wear it daily. Since he loves you, once he accepts that you are not thrilled, I am sure he will want you to be happy with it!

 

[MiniMouse]

Selma, I''m so pleased you thought to come back and gave us an update. My heart went out to you when you first posted. I''ve been away in the States for 5 weeks and only just returned 10 days ago. Ever since you originally posted, I''ve tapped in the name ''Selma'' in the search function, hoping there''d be an update to your upsetting story.

You have a wise head on young shoulders and it''s wonderful to hear you''ve decided to focus on your relationship and future wedding, rather than on your engagement ring disaster. I agree with the other posters who recommend you get a beautiful eternity band as your wedding ring, it will look beautiful on it''s own and if you eventually do get your dream engagement ring, then they will compliment each other perfectly.

So glad to hear back from you and so pleased that your life with your fiance is working out so well. Relationships are more important than rings!

BEST OF LUCK!!!

 

[selma]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and for following my story. I just placed an order from Facets for a diamond eternity band to wear as my wedding ring and I am more excited about this beautiful band that I can even express – I can’t wait to wear it!! I’ll be sure to post pictures when it arrives.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Selma, that's such good news! Sounds like things are working out well, and we definitely need pics of that great new band!

 

[widget]

Great, Selma!!!!!

Can''t wait to see pics!

widget

 

[mrssalvo]

yay selma, a sparkly wedding band from facets sounds like a wonderful plan. I can''t wait to see pictures.

 

[sanfranciscoellen]

Date: 5/17/2006 1:46:28 PM
Author: selma
Thank you everyone for your kind words and for following my story. I just placed an order from Facets for a diamond eternity band to wear as my wedding ring and I am more excited about this beautiful band that I can even express – I can’t wait to wear it!! I’ll be sure to post pictures when it arrives.

Can you give us a hint about which one you ordered? I''ve been snooping around for a band too.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

That is great news Selma! We are really wanting a happy ending to your story!

 

[selma]

Date: 5/17/2006 5:39:32 PM
Author: wallermama

Date: 5/17/2006 1:46:28 PM
Author: selma




Thank you everyone for your kind words and for following my story. I just placed an order from Facets for a diamond eternity band to wear as my wedding ring and I am more excited about this beautiful band that I can even express – I can’t wait to wear it!! I’ll be sure to post pictures when it arrives.

Can you give us a hint about which one you ordered? I''ve been snooping around for a band too.

I ordered a shared prong band, 19 round cut diamonds, 1.9 total weight, in a size 4.75. It was hard to choose - I wanted it to be substantial and beautiful on its own, so hopefully I made a good choice!

 

[Dee*Jay]

The band sounds lovely! Can''t wait to see it!

 

[BrightSpot]

Selma, I''ve been following your story & am so happy to hear of the positive resolution!

What a fabulous idea to keep your original e-ring & wear it as a right hand ring & get a beautiful eternity ring for your left hand! Those Facets bands are stunning--can''t wait to see yours!

 

[VRBeauty]

Selma: Congratulations on handling this whole thing so well! Someday the story behind Momma/Grandma/Aunt Selma''s right hand ring will be a part of family lore (and used as a cautionary tale for the young men and women of a certiain age)!

I like the symbolism and elegance of wearing a wedding band solo (heracy, I know

!).