vent and some good news!

[iota15]

Well, given the new facts that have come to light, I can understand your decision better. If you haven't already, at some point, I would let the bride know that it's your fiance's birthday the night of their wedding. That way, they don't think you're skipping the ceremony in some short sighted protest; rather, there is at least a positive reason why you are not attending that night. It could help smooth over any hard feelings they may harbour.

 

[blueberrydot]

amc80- You have hit the nail on the head about how I feel.

I understand where the people calling me selfish are coming from and I do have moments where I do feel selfish and I do want to go to the wedding but I feel as though I have been invited because of the grooms parents not because of the bride. The engagement party was extremely tense for me and having my fiance there made it better for me, hence why I decided to decline as I knew it would be the same at the wedding. My mother has stated a couple of times that if she was tight for room she should invite only my parents or only my fiance and I.
I do not think that this will change our relationship with the family in the least.

Thanks for your responses.

I'm confused - do you not like the bride/does the bride does not like you? Why was the engagement party so tense? I had a post written about this subject, but then I reread the thread and saw this and was wondering if there are other factors contributing as to why you are choosing not to attend that have less to do with "etiquette" and more to do with your relationship with the bride?

 

[iota15]

amc80- You have hit the nail on the head about how I feel.

I understand where the people calling me selfish are coming from and I do have moments where I do feel selfish and I do want to go to the wedding but I feel as though I have been invited because of the grooms parents not because of the bride. The engagement party was extremely tense for me and having my fiance there made it better for me, hence why I decided to decline as I knew it would be the same at the wedding. My mother has stated a couple of times that if she was tight for room she should invite only my parents or only my fiance and I.
I do not think that this will change our relationship with the family in the least.

Thanks for your responses.

I'm confused - do you not like the bride/does the bride does not like you? Why was the engagement party so tense? I had a post written about this subject, but then I reread the thread and saw this and was wondering if there are other factors contributing as to why you are choosing not to attend that have less to do with "etiquette" and more to do with your relationship with the bride?

I admit. That post gave me pause too. It seems like the bride is getting the brunt of this joint decision - but why only her? (As it has been made clear by other posters, they are now a joint team making joint decisions. Plus, you are a "groom's side" guest - why wouldn't you suppose the groom decided it was okay for you to attend without your fiance?)