Vent/Rage of the day thread

[packrat]

My vent of the day:
DH on phone to pro shop: "I'd like to make an 11 o'clock tee time"
*hangs up phone*
DH to me/wife: "Do you mind if I golf today?"

This has been an ongoing issue for years - DH making plans and then checking to see if it's okay. It's the assumption that I'll be here to watch the kids just any old darn time he needs that's irritating. Grrrr…
Ok, I feel better. Vent over. Thanks for letting me share

Mine does that too. He doesn't even ask after the fact tho-he just says "I'm doing this" as a statement of fact. It's also just expected that I will always be around, never make plans, never go anywhere.

 

[canuk-gal]

My vent of the day:
DH on phone to pro shop: "I'd like to make an 11 o'clock tee time"
*hangs up phone*
DH to me/wife: "Do you mind if I golf today?"

This has been an ongoing issue for years - DH making plans and then checking to see if it's okay. It's the assumption that I'll be here to watch the kids just any old darn time he needs that's irritating. Grrrr…
Ok, I feel better. Vent over. Thanks for letting me share

Mine does that too. He doesn't even ask after the fact tho-he just says "I'm doing this" as a statement of fact. It's also just expected that I will always be around, never make plans, never go anywhere.

Is this universal??? AND add the assumption, that I'd he happy to change or drop my plans to be ever accommodating.

 

[Calliecake]

My vent of the day:
DH on phone to pro shop: "I'd like to make an 11 o'clock tee time"
*hangs up phone*
DH to me/wife: "Do you mind if I golf today?"

This has been an ongoing issue for years - DH making plans and then checking to see if it's okay. It's the assumption that I'll be here to watch the kids just any old darn time he needs that's irritating. Grrrr…
Ok, I feel better. Vent over. Thanks for letting me share

Mine does that too. He doesn't even ask after the fact tho-he just says "I'm doing this" as a statement of fact. It's also just expected that I will always be around, never make plans, never go anywhere.

Is this universal??? AND add the assumption, that I'd he happy to change or drop my plans to be ever accommodating.

You ladies are making me feel so much better. My husband has done this for years. He would mention it the morning he was walking out the door. Nice! He's gotten better now thank goodness. Even my father in law gave grief about it and that also seemed to help. MEN!

 

[momhappy]

I'm glad that I'm not the only one….
And for the record, my DH certainly doesn't have to ask to do things. I think that it's just common courtesy/respect issue.
This all stems from the fact that I'm a stay-at-home mom with no job, no life, etc. The expectation is that I will ALWAYS be home should he make plans. I realize that I have a wonderful life (I don't have to work, etc.), but these circumstances have created an environment where our world revolves around only his schedule and the expectation is that I shouldn't mind because I do do anything of importance (except for raising our children into decent, kind, law-abiding, successful human beings )

 

[packrat]

I'm glad that I'm not the only one….
And for the record, my DH certainly doesn't have to ask to do things. I think that it's just common courtesy/respect issue.
This all stems from the fact that I'm a stay-at-home mom with no job, no life, etc. The expectation is that I will ALWAYS be home should he make plans. I realize that I have a wonderful life (I don't have to work, etc.), but these circumstances have created an environment where our world revolves around only his schedule and the expectation is that I shouldn't mind because I do do anything of importance (except for raising our children into decent, kind, law-abiding, successful human beings )

Yep yep yep here too. Or, well, I never was able to stay home full time, but it was still just taken for granted that if I wasn't working, I would be at home w/the kids. On the rare occasions I did anything-which amounted to going to the library or maybe getting my hair cut, I took the kids w/me. And heck, I work full time during the school year now, and it's still taken as fact that I will be here to take care of things when I'm not at work-b/c I have the same schedule as the kids. And if something happens, I can take the kids to school w/me for the day-like on professional development days when there's no school but I still have to work.

It's taken for granted that regardless if I work the next morning, it will be me getting up w/the kids if they're sick. Or if they have a nightmare. It's expected that "if I want to do something or go somewhere, I'll say something". uh huh, right. Which has been tried, but it's a bit of...I need to make the plans weeks in advance so as not to possibly interfere w/any plans he may or may not have spur of the moment on any given day. And if something changes and it's the "only" time he can do something, and it juuuuust so happens I may have scheduled something to get away for an hour to myself, it's just known that I will then either cancel, or I will just take the kids. Not "oh sorry, my wife has plans so I can't" or, he'll call my mom to watch the kids instead.

I'll be teaching our daughter to do things differently. Cuz once you start bending over backwards to make things better/easier for someone, you better learn how to bend back enough to touch your heels.

 

[momhappy]

^It's true - we are partly to blame for allowing the dynamic to start in the first place. I am certainly guilty of allowing it to happen (and to continue). I'm sorry that you go through that, packrat

 

[azstonie]

How much food can my DH load onto his fork??? A whole dang bunch!

Chewing thoroughly????? I guess that would hinder the inhaling in 5 minutes of a dinner that took me 90 minutes to make and clean up, not to mention leaving me with a plate 3/4 full and his empty!

 

[packrat]

I wonder if those of us who do that for our husbands, did we all grow up seeing our moms do that for our dads? I know my mom did-heck she still does. If I want to take mom and go do something, she still checks w/dad to make sure it's ok. And sometimes it's not-which irritates the crap out of me. Dad needs her to be home to cook lunch for him daily, so she can't come help me pick out new glasses, really?? It's better now that they're both retired but man.

I remember venting to mom one time about JD getting on the kids about picking up after themselves and to "quit treating mom like a slave, she's not your maid!" and I thought um....wait a minute now...you're 40 and I have to pick up your dirty socks daily from the living room floor-the kids see me doing it! So why get mad at them for doing what YOU do, when you're the adult and supposed to lead/teach by example? And mom said that's just the way it is for daddy's. That she had to explain to us when we were kids that *daddy* didn't have to bring his plate and cup to the sink, he could leave it on the floor in the living room, but *we* had to bring our own to the sink, and we also had to pick up *his* plate/cup. or whatever the case may be. And I said yeah well, that's stupid and I'm not going to tell my daughter that not only does she have to pick up after herself her entire life, she has to pick up after her dad as long as she lives at home AND her future husband until she dies. Nope no way no how.

 

[momhappy]

^I don't know where mine comes from, but it doesn't come from my mom (my parents divorced when I was very young). My mom is actually quite the opposite (she's self-centered/selfish).

 

[Calliecake]

I could not agree with you more about it being about common courtesy and respect. I've never told my husband he can't do anything either. There was 3 day weekend that my husband planned golf all 3 days because his friends wife was out of town. His friend could never do anything. His dad told him to rethink his plan or he could be left without me for a wife and his next one might be like his friends wife.

My mom sounds exactly how Packrat is describing her mom. It aggravates me when I ask my mom to do something and she has to make sure my stepfather is okay with it..... And we always have to rush home because he is incapable of making a sandwich. The sad thing about it it's my mom, not my stepfather. He thinks it's insane as well.

 

[stracci2000]

How much food can my DH load onto his fork??? A whole dang bunch!

Chewing thoroughly????? I guess that would hinder the inhaling in 5 minutes of a dinner that took me 90 minutes to make and clean up, not to mention leaving me with a plate 3/4 full and his empty!

Azstonie, My DH sometimes does this, too. When I asked him why, he said that growing up with three older brothers, if you didnt eat dinner fast enough, you would never get a second helping, 'cause there wouldnt be any left.

 

[azstonie]

Lol, I know that rationale, my DH claims that if you sit down to dine with his brother, you count your fingers before you leave the table

Since we don't have his brother eating with us, it'd be nice if hubby would conduct himself in a sane manner at dinner

I had to train DH you don't get up and leave the table just because *you* are finished!!! He never did this when we were dating!!!!

 

[momhappy]

By the way, my DH told me that I was wrong today - I was wrong for assuming that he "scheduled" golf because calling for a tee time is not a scheduled activity (because it's cancelable) Huh Oh well, I chose not to wind it up into an argument in an effort to try to enjoy what's left of the weekend.

 

[azstonie]

Sheesh, that's the kind of parsing my DH does when he is busted.

 

[autumngems]

Teenage Daughter's Ex

It's gutt-wrenching to see your daughter in pain. She had been going through some depression and I asked her boyfriend to talk to her thinking it might help.
His way of talking to her: Your mom wants me to talk to you about your depression but I don't assosciate myself with negative people, you need to get over it and when you cry it pushes me away.
I knew when I saw the text from my daughter (she's in the next room) saying "Momma, I need you" it was bad. I run in there and she is in heart-wrenching tears and tell me what he said. Trying my best not to get in my truck and find this little turd was all I could do.
The next day he texts her and tells her he needs a break, from the relationship. Again, tears and crying "Mom, what have I done to deserve this"?
She has not had the best of luck with boys, (cheating on her, stalking her, using her to get other girls, etc.) so she thinks it's all her fault.
And to add the cherry on top, he texted her and told her he needed all his Christmas presents back. Can you believe this?
What kind of children are we raising these days that boys can treat girls like this?

 

[TooPatient]

How much food can my DH load onto his fork??? A whole dang bunch!

Chewing thoroughly????? I guess that would hinder the inhaling in 5 minutes of a dinner that took me 90 minutes to make and clean up, not to mention leaving me with a plate 3/4 full and his empty!

Yes!!!!

I've tried giving him a small fork....that didn't help because he managed to load it up the handle.

Tried asking "How's the food?" and other such questions.

We're both trying to lose weight so I have been measuring. If there is "extra" (you know like for lunches the next day...) he'll go get that to eat too. He's even pulled it out of the refrigerator where I stashed it in hopes of it actually being there for lunch.

This is an every meal thing. Then he sits and watches me! Even on the rare occasion we go out!
Hamburgers are even worse because he'll finish all of his food and then eat all of my sides!

His excuse is that he was in the Navy for 4 years and had to eat quick or miss out on sleep (or have his food taken) and before that his father would take his plate and not let him eat.
Okay, fine.... But I have never taken his plate and there is always plenty!

 

[momhappy]

Teenage Daughter's Ex

It's gutt-wrenching to see your daughter in pain. She had been going through some depression and I asked her boyfriend to talk to her thinking it might help.
His way of talking to her: Your mom wants me to talk to you about your depression but I don't assosciate myself with negative people, you need to get over it and when you cry it pushes me away.
I knew when I saw the text from my daughter (she's in the next room) saying "Momma, I need you" it was bad. I run in there and she is in heart-wrenching tears and tell me what he said. Trying my best not to get in my truck and find this little turd was all I could do.
The next day he texts her and tells her he needs a break, from the relationship. Again, tears and crying "Mom, what have I done to deserve this"?
She has not had the best of luck with boys, (cheating on her, stalking her, using her to get other girls, etc.) so she thinks it's all her fault.
And to add the cherry on top, he texted her and told her he needed all his Christmas presents back. Can you believe this?
What kind of children are we raising these days that boys can treat girls like this?

Sorry to hear this.
If she's experiencing some depression, have you gotten her any professional help?

 

[missy]

Teenage Daughter's Ex

It's gutt-wrenching to see your daughter in pain. She had been going through some depression and I asked her boyfriend to talk to her thinking it might help.
His way of talking to her: Your mom wants me to talk to you about your depression but I don't assosciate myself with negative people, you need to get over it and when you cry it pushes me away.
I knew when I saw the text from my daughter (she's in the next room) saying "Momma, I need you" it was bad. I run in there and she is in heart-wrenching tears and tell me what he said. Trying my best not to get in my truck and find this little turd was all I could do.
The next day he texts her and tells her he needs a break, from the relationship. Again, tears and crying "Mom, what have I done to deserve this"?
She has not had the best of luck with boys, (cheating on her, stalking her, using her to get other girls, etc.) so she thinks it's all her fault.
And to add the cherry on top, he texted her and told her he needed all his Christmas presents back. Can you believe this?
What kind of children are we raising these days that boys can treat girls like this?

Ugh that's awful. I am sorry about this but tell your dd that this boy is a piece of work and she is better off without him for sure. She deserves a boy who will treat her with respect and love. And umm no returning of the gifts IMO. A gift is a gift no matter what so he needs to learn the lesson. If she wants let her donate the gifts to children in need but under no circumstances would I want her to return them to that creep. It's a GIFT. He should start learning about the way life works and this is a good place to start.

I hope your daughter starts feeling better soon and perhaps momhappy's suggestion is something worth looking into if this is an ongoing problem for your daughter. ((Hugs)) to you and your daughter.

 

[Mayk]

Teenage Daughter's Ex

It's gutt-wrenching to see your daughter in pain. She had been going through some depression and I asked her boyfriend to talk to her thinking it might help.
His way of talking to her: Your mom wants me to talk to you about your depression but I don't assosciate myself with negative people, you need to get over it and when you cry it pushes me away.
I knew when I saw the text from my daughter (she's in the next room) saying "Momma, I need you" it was bad. I run in there and she is in heart-wrenching tears and tell me what he said. Trying my best not to get in my truck and find this little turd was all I could do.
The next day he texts her and tells her he needs a break, from the relationship. Again, tears and crying "Mom, what have I done to deserve this"?
She has not had the best of luck with boys, (cheating on her, stalking her, using her to get other girls, etc.) so she thinks it's all her fault.
And to add the cherry on top, he texted her and told her he needed all his Christmas presents back. Can you believe this?
What kind of children are we raising these days that boys can treat girls like this?

this makes me so sad... I'm so sorry. I have a teenage daughter and boys are the "toughest" subject not to mention adding on the other stresses they face.

 

[tyty333]

Teenage Daughter's Ex

It's gutt-wrenching to see your daughter in pain. She had been going through some depression and I asked her boyfriend to talk to her thinking it might help.
His way of talking to her: Your mom wants me to talk to you about your depression but I don't assosciate myself with negative people, you need to get over it and when you cry it pushes me away.
I knew when I saw the text from my daughter (she's in the next room) saying "Momma, I need you" it was bad. I run in there and she is in heart-wrenching tears and tell me what he said. Trying my best not to get in my truck and find this little turd was all I could do.
The next day he texts her and tells her he needs a break, from the relationship. Again, tears and crying "Mom, what have I done to deserve this"?
She has not had the best of luck with boys, (cheating on her, stalking her, using her to get other girls, etc.) so she thinks it's all her fault.
And to add the cherry on top, he texted her and told her he needed all his Christmas presents back. Can you believe this?
What kind of children are we raising these days that boys can treat girls like this?

Ugh that's awful. I am sorry about this but tell your dd that this boy is a piece of work and she is better off without him for sure. She deserves a boy who will treat her with respect and love. And umm no returning of the gifts IMO. A gift is a gift no matter what so he needs to learn the lesson. If she wants let her donate the gifts to children in need but under no circumstances would I want her to return them to that creep. It's a GIFT. He should start learning about the way life works and this is a good place to start.

I hope your daughter starts feeling better soon and perhaps momhappy's suggestion is something worth looking into if this is an ongoing problem for your daughter. ((Hugs)) to you and your daughter.

I really second missy and momhappy. Do not return the gifts and let the jerk know that they are being donated. He needs to learn
the definition of a gift. I also think that maybe your daughter could use a little extra support right now. Try to find someone she
can click with. I found a guy straight out of school (with his PHD). He was great with my son because he was still young and could
relate but also gave him real things to do that healthy kids that age would/should be doing...like working out, going out with friends.
Helped pull my son out of the dull-drums and put things into perspective.

 

[Calliecake]

Teenage Daughter's Ex

It's gutt-wrenching to see your daughter in pain. She had been going through some depression and I asked her boyfriend to talk to her thinking it might help.
His way of talking to her: Your mom wants me to talk to you about your depression but I don't assosciate myself with negative people, you need to get over it and when you cry it pushes me away.
I knew when I saw the text from my daughter (she's in the next room) saying "Momma, I need you" it was bad. I run in there and she is in heart-wrenching tears and tell me what he said. Trying my best not to get in my truck and find this little turd was all I could do.
The next day he texts her and tells her he needs a break, from the relationship. Again, tears and crying "Mom, what have I done to deserve this"?
She has not had the best of luck with boys, (cheating on her, stalking her, using her to get other girls, etc.) so she thinks it's all her fault.
And to add the cherry on top, he texted her and told her he needed all his Christmas presents back. Can you believe this?
What kind of children are we raising these days that boys can treat girls like this?

Was this kid raised by wolves? It really makes you wonder what his parents are like. I can only imagine how he will treat women when he gets older if he finds this acceptable now. WOW!

 

[autumngems]

Thanks for the support.

My daughter is seeing someone about her depression now.

I expected her to give one present back as it was his mother's (she ok'd him to give it to her) and I felt it should be returned. But the other gifts I was just speechless about.
He said he was bringing her gifts to him back. She explained she did not want them as they were GIFTS and given for a reason. She neither expected or wanted them back, keep them or toss them, she didn't care.
She had given him some stuffed animals that she had, to give his little sister (daughter didn't want them anymore). He was going to take these back from his sister and give them back to my daughter. Of course she said no to that as well.

I sat my daughter down and explained that he was in for a rude awakening if he thought he would find a girl that didn't occasionally cry, feel bad or experience depression at some time. His remark that he did not associate himself with negative people only contradicted that belief as he himself was pushing her away because she was depressed and needed support, how is that not the epitomy of negativity.

We had a girls weekend this past weekend, I had her best friend come over and did the movies, nails and etc. That helped a lot but she does see him every day God help her.

 

[Calliecake]

I'm so glad you are taking her depression seriously Autumngems. Kids are under so much pressure today and depression can easily snowball. She is quickly finding out what she doesn't want in a boyfriend. I just find it so hard to believe that his actions would be considered acceptable behavior to his mother.

 

[autumngems]

Calliecake,
I have a feeling his mother has no idea why they broke up or if he is telling her a different story. I am just glad it ended when it did before anything more transpired.

 

[azstonie]

autumn gems, how awful, he is INDEED a turd. I'm so sorry your daughter has to endure postbreakup crappy behavior. Once you've had the breakup, that should be all the BS you have to endure from your ex!!!

I'm with everyone else here, a gift is a gift and once the breakup happens, she is under no 'obligation' to even take a phone call from him, much less go through some kind of ridiculous negotiations.

I think this is a kind of bullying exercise, he knows he has no leg to stand on but he's doing it anyway because he CAN.

The nerve.

 

[TooPatient]

I really HATE people who park so close that you can't get in/out of your own car.

 

[MisterMadelise]

Thanks for the support.

My daughter is seeing someone about her depression now.

I expected her to give one present back as it was his mother's (she ok'd him to give it to her) and I felt it should be returned. But the other gifts I was just speechless about.
He said he was bringing her gifts to him back. She explained she did not want them as they were GIFTS and given for a reason. She neither expected or wanted them back, keep them or toss them, she didn't care.
She had given him some stuffed animals that she had, to give his little sister (daughter didn't want them anymore). He was going to take these back from his sister and give them back to my daughter. Of course she said no to that as well.

I sat my daughter down and explained that he was in for a rude awakening if he thought he would find a girl that didn't occasionally cry, feel bad or experience depression at some time. His remark that he did not associate himself with negative people only contradicted that belief as he himself was pushing her away because she was depressed and needed support, how is that not the epitomy of negativity.

We had a girls weekend this past weekend, I had her best friend come over and did the movies, nails and etc. That helped a lot but she does see him every day God help her.

Oh my god, that sounds horrible. How old is your daughter and this exboyfriend? This back-and-forth about the gifts sounds very manipulative. What does he want with his old gifts back anyway? Give it to the next girlfriend? I'm sorry. He sounds like an ass.

 

[MisterMadelise]

I really HATE people who park so close that you can't get in/out of your own car.

Those jerks deserve to get their doors dinged.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

My unrealistic expectations inform my vent: I would like to buy-- reasonably priced-- 38T suits off the rack (son is very tall and slender).

Shopping is an exercise in futility, cuz it's not gonna happen, outside of made to measure. Really?

cheers--Sharon

yes, My son needs this, too. Lots of sizes for big, tall and fat. But tall and slim is not available.

Yes. Still no further ahead. Seems, now my son is in between sizes...39 T. 40T might work with alterations. But the push seems for MTM. Really--my husband doesn't even have MTM suits--and he is just as tall and lanky! eyeyiyi

cheers--Sharon

 

[Matata]

So I woke up feeling kinda good about turning 60 today. Going out for a nice dinner with DH tonight. Sun was out early this a.m.
I opened the fridge door to feed the cats and found that a package of thawing meat had leaked blood all over and under the bottom glass shelf. This is the largest shelf in the fridge, fits into a plastic piece that holds the crisper drawers.

Took it out to clean it. Sprayed it with some Windex, and BOOM, it exploded. Not shattered, exploded with a boom sound. Glass flew all over the place -- into 2 hallways, the powder room, sun room, living room. Darn open concept house. Initially the cats were affixed to the ceiling from fright but soon became curious about the mess. So there I was at 7:30 a.m. trying to herd them into the laundry room before they walked on the glass. Then swept, vacuumed and cleaned up glass for about 40 min. Had to pick some tiny shards out of my arms.
Feeling very lucky that neither me or the cats wound up with glass in our eyes. In spite of the fact that it's tempered glass, the shards and pieces had sharp edges.

Spent 1.5 hours on the phone with Samsung ordering a replacement. Usual deal -- talk to someone in the parts replacement section who takes all the information and gives it to customer service whereby you have to repeat all the info 3 more times. Apparently the glass was a dud containing micro fractures from the manufacturing process so they are replacing for free. Fridge has been out of warranty for a year.

The day can only get better from here right?