Vent...*sigh*

[Smurfysmiles]

So my sister just got divorced...literally 3 days ago. She''s been dating this guy for a couple months now and thinks he is going to propose friday night. Great, really I am happy for her, she''s been in a bad relationship for 20 years. I said "That''s so exciting you''ll have to let us know what happens!" Then later I was mentioned she might not want to have the wedding right around November (when our wedding is) and she says "Well november is when we go hunting anyways so we won''t" to which I replied "Well that and me and fi are getting married that month and it would stink if our relatives weren''t able to make it to both of the weddings" to which she replied "oh and there''s THAT too"

Am I overreacting here? I feel just a little hurt....but I am overly sensetive...I really am happy for her. Everytime we talk it''s never about our wedding or plans or anything, it''s always about her and this guy. And I suck it up and I listen and talk to her, etc. I dunno, I''m just feeling down right now

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[honey22]

Sorry Smurfy, but I think you are overreacting.

As brides, we sometimes need to keep in mind that the world doesn''t revolved around our weddings

It''s so easy for us to get caught up in everything and be such a big focus of our world, we tend to overreact over the whole shebang. Don''t let it stress you out sweetie

 

[Smurfysmiles]

i guess you're right honey, thank you for giving it to me straight. it just seems like our family is more focused on her relationship with this guy because of the whole drama with the divorce and all. it just is depressing when nobody even asks how planning is going or anything you know? i havent done a single thing since march just because it doesn't feel like anything is really getting done aside from 4 of the 6 girls ordering their dresses. all the wedding stuff is happening in july so hopefully ill start to feel it more then :-\ *shrug*

i've tried so hard to be the bride who isnt always talking about the wedding, asking people to do things. i guess i just reached my breaking point

 

[meresal]

Smurfy, have you told your parents or friends that you don''t feel like they are excited or interested in your wedding? Maybe they don''t realize they should ask more questions.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

meresal that would be the easiest answer wouldn''t it lol
but i would feel like a jerk saying that to someone

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

I wouldn''t worry too much smurfy... she isn''t even engaged yet! I would just consider it all to be ''talk''. Maybe you could mention it to her that it would be nice if she asked you questions about your wedding etc?

Hang in there, it''s not much fun when no one seems interested in what you are doing/planning, i know. But maybe when you start doing all of the stuff in July people will start to take more of an interest?

Keep us posted!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

i think the only real solution to this problem involves a tub of ben n jerrys and a season of friends

 

[honey22]

I have to hold my tongue sometimes, when I see friends I havn''t seen for a while, I find myself thinking about the wedding and starting to talk about it again. I really try to not bore my friends to death with it all. It''s hard cos it''s such a big focus of my life at the moment.

I don''t even know what that stuff is Smurfy, but it sounds good. I am so having a choccy craving today, it''s not even lunch time yet and I am thinking about it!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

honey, ben n jerrys is ice cream of course! friends is a tv show

 

[Haven]

First, I''m sorry to hear about your sister''s divorce.

I don''t think feeling upset is overreacting at all. If you took it one step further and started crying to your sister about it, that might be overreacting, but you can''t help the way you feel so no, I don''t think you''re overreacting.

I don''t know much about divorce, but my parents have been going through one since September, which was two months after my own wedding. Since then, my mother has been unable to talk about much other than herself, her failed marriage, and my father. It seems like the period after a divorce can be a time of deep reflection for the parties involved, and as we all know, whenever we become engrossed in something (be it a wedding, a divorce, a grad school program, a new boyfriend) it can become the focus of all of our energy, and thus, all of our conversations. I imagine your sister has been doing a lot of serious reflection about her marriage and herself, and that, paired with the fact that she''s found love, seem to be the perfect recipe for blind selfishness. She probably feels like she''s neglected herself for a long time in a bad marriage, so now it''s time to be a bit selfish.

It''s terribly sad that this is making you feel disinterested in planning your own wedding, and I echo the suggestion to reach out to your family for some support. And if you aren''t comfortable doing that, we''re always here for you!

Feel better.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Hey all, just wanted to update- sister got engaged tonight.
i''m not going to dink around on here and pretend that i don''t approve because i don''t- at least not at this particular moment (although i would never tell her that, she is my sister and i want her to be happy)
i think part of the reason i was a little upset too (i''ve been thinking about this) is that i feel marriage is a very personal thing and that until you are divorced you are still part of a union and it is disrespectful (or at least this is my opinion) to marriage itself to get engaged to another while still involved in another marriage (i dunno if that even makes sense but it is what it is lol) i congratulated her and am now just taking some time to get over myself before i talk to her about it. definitely had a girls night in with one of my bridesmaids tonight...