Venting

[Caribou]

So I had a great V-day...NOT!

Not that I care, V-day is a BS day anyway, IMO. I''m just annoyed that we got into a fight...over something so stupid but what really bothers me is when he (any man really) makes the comment ''I guess I can''t joke with you anymore''.

Say something funny and I''ll LAUGH!

I told the jerk that I didn''t like being on the pill because it makes me more irritable and emotional than I normally am. WHY IS HE SURPRISED BY MY REACTION!!!!!!!!!!!

I also love the fact that he was partly wrong for our argument and yet I''m the one that feels like an a*hole for it and am apologizing for it. Right now, he''s probably thinking about the sports game he''s going to watch tonight while I''m sitting here thinking about our fight! MEN!

Thanks for listening...I''m done now.

 

[GGLW]

Sorry...That sucks to have a fight on Valentine''s Day, which is supposed to be so romantic.
I laughed out loud when you said he''s probably thinking about the next sports game while you are still fuming about it. That is so true for men it seems. Girls will totally stew on something for hours and days while guys will tend to forget what you were even mad about!
Anyway, I hope he comes around with a little sensitivity. Hang in there...

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Date: 2/15/2006 12:44:20 PM
Author:Caribou
So I had a great V-day...NOT!

Not that I care, V-day is a BS day anyway, IMO. I''m just annoyed that we got into a fight...over something so stupid but what really bothers me is when he (any man really) makes the comment ''I guess I can''t joke with you anymore''.

Say something funny and I''ll LAUGH!

I told the jerk that I didn''t like being on the pill because it makes me more irritable and emotional than I normally am. WHY IS HE SURPRISED BY MY REACTION!!!!!!!!!!!

I also love the fact that he was partly wrong for our argument and yet I''m the one that feels like an a*hole for it and am apologizing for it. Right now, he''s probably thinking about the sports game he''s going to watch tonight while I''m sitting here thinking about our fight! MEN!

Thanks for listening...I''m done now.

Ha ha, I totally feel you. I had a really crappy V-day as well. I''ve never liked Valentine''s Day because it''s just a hallmark holiday and crap always went down between me and my significant other on that day. I''ve been dumped, dumped guys, and gotten into fights every year on that day.

So that goes without saying that me and the fiance also got into a fight yesterday and I ended up spending V-Day alone. It was over something stupid too. I''m beginning to think that V-Day is a curse. He wants to try and make up for it today, but it''s a little late now. Sigh....

Try not to think about it anymore and put it behind you. It''s done and it''s in the past. Men are jerks and always will be. We just tend to pick the ones that are lesser jerks than others I hope...

 

[Caribou]

Thanks GG & Aphi. He's the sweetest guy and I love him to death but he lacks in the sensitivity department at times that's for sure.

Oh well, I'll get over it.

 

[Mara]

sometimes the smallest most innocent comment on their part can blow up into a huge thing!! there have been times when greg says something and i get upset and he is like WHATTTTT???

i will say we fight more now that we are married than before! we hardly ever fought before. but we also spend way more time together since we are married and live together AND we also are together for all the good and the bad in terms of attitude and feelings, physically and mentally etc. literally the good, bad and the ugly 24/7!!

it's funny, in the past i used to get upset when we fought and be like 'what does it mean' etc...but now when we fight we BOTH learned to get over it fairly quickly, aka within an hour and to not hold a grudge, sometimes we will talk about whatever it was, and sometimes we'll both just be like 'we were both overreacting, i'm sorry' and that's it...it's really important to not stew on it when you are married and live together and be able to get past things quickly and not hold a grudge. i never understood couples who don't talk for days or something like that, i alwasy thought....how does that work when you live togther???

in my opinion you can choose to be right or choose to be HAPPY and get over things after you've said your peace. i don't like holding grudges in general anyway because as Greg says...i am too lazy.

i don't think men are jerks and women aren't...both sexes have the possibility of being just as jerky or assholish as each other in different situations. you just have to know how to move past it!

 

[Caribou]

We don''t fight that often. I think this is the 3rd one in the 1 year and 2 months we''ve been together. None of them have been serious knock down drag out fights...mostly stupid stuff. I hate fighting...really with anyone...but with him because I am still at that ''what does this mean'' stage. I''m over why we got into a fight because it really was stupid...but it''s his comment that gets me. I hate being on the pill, I told him that, I told him why... I am more irritatable (it''s like I''m PMS''ing all the time) and I''m emotional (which I am not an emotional person normally, but like right now, I feel like crying). When we decided that I go on the pill, I again ''warned'' him about what it does to me..his response was a sincere one saying something like ''I''ll try to remember that''. But since I''ve been on it he has made a couple of comments about me being more ''touchy'' and ''irritable''.

And I''ve even noticed the change in my personality.

I think the solution to all of this is not be on the pill anymore, get to my more laid back sense of humor in tack personality. Oh and I''m on the lowest dosage pill possible, at least that''s what my Doc told me.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 2/15/2006 1:26:07 PM
Author: Caribou
(it''s like I''m PMS''ing all the time) and I''m emotional (which I am not an emotional person normally, but like right now, I feel like crying). I think the solution to all of this is not be on the pill anymore, get to my more laid back sense of humor in tack personality. Oh and I''m on the lowest dosage pill possible, at least that''s what my Doc told me.

This may veer toward the "too much info" department but I can''t take the pill because of the same reasons. The first time I was on it I was fine but after going off and back on again I noticed a complete personality change that nearly destroyed my relationship at the time (and my career too!) Later I found out that people with any family history of depression (which I do) can be sensitive to the pill/and the patch/and anything that fk''s w/your hormones.

Now I use that old chestnut: the diaphram. (& sometimes "jimmies" if it''s super spontaneous) Works for me MUCH, MUCH better.

 

[moon river]

You''re not alone in feeling that way about v-day. I''d like to run down cupid with my car

 

[Caribou]

Date: 2/15/2006 1:44:00 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 2/15/2006 1:26:07 PM
Author: Caribou
(it''s like I''m PMS''ing all the time) and I''m emotional (which I am not an emotional person normally, but like right now, I feel like crying). I think the solution to all of this is not be on the pill anymore, get to my more laid back sense of humor in tack personality. Oh and I''m on the lowest dosage pill possible, at least that''s what my Doc told me.

This may veer toward the ''too much info'' department but I can''t take the pill because of the same reasons. The first time I was on it I was fine but after going off and back on again I noticed a complete personality change that nearly destroyed my relationship at the time (and my career too!) Later I found out that people with any family history of depression (which I do) can be sensitive to the pill/and the patch/and anything that fk''s w/your hormones.

Now I use that old chestnut: the diaphram. (& sometimes ''jimmies'' if it''s super spontaneous) Works for me MUCH, MUCH better.

It''s nice to know someone else out there like this. My one friends tries to understand it but really doesn''t because she had the opposite reaction to the pill, it actually helped her.

I talked to FI and told him I didn''t want to be on it anymore so I''m stopping it as of tomorrow.

Jimmies, never heard that...made me laugh.

 

[cinnabar]

To all of you who say you don''t like how the Pill affects you: have you tried experimenting with different brands?

I was on the Pill in a previous relationship and I became insane at certain times of the month. I read an article in Cosmo and it exactly described what I was going through; it said to talk to your doctor because something as simple as a brand change could fix it.

So I went to my doctor and told him about the article and my own "symptoms", and he understood exactly what I meant. He suggested trying a different hormone combo for a few months, and if that didn''t work then to go back and he''d prescribe something else until we found one that worked for me.

I was lucky, the first new one worked like a dream, no more crying for no reason, no more jealousy, no more of any of that bad stuff.

Then I moved from the UK to the US, and got a new doctor. I couldn''t get the exact same brands I''d used in Britain, and I told her I''d had problems before so she and I monitored things carefully. It was horrendous, right from the first week. I took it for a month, then googled it and found out that lots of other women had the same (in fact, much worse) problems with that brand. I went back to the doctor and changed to a generic, and am now pretty happy with what I''m on.

The brand I hated was called Yasmin, just in case any one else here is using the same one. It''s not approved in Britain; trials are still on-going there.

 

[AmberWaves]

I'm sorry Caribou, I hate fighting too, but what our problem is, I fight all the time. I start fights. I come from a broken home (as broken as it could be with two parents sleeping in the same room, who happen to hate each other) that fought constantly. I would be afraid to leave the house, for fear the cops would be called (again). So now, the only way I know to "talk it out" is to fight and silent treatment. It's horrible, and I know I'm doing it, but crazy because at the time, I usually think I'm right.

We are trying to work on our reactions to things that upset us, but what usually drives me mad was when he'd do this, "Okay Amber, whatever you say." after I'd say something. That would drive me up the wall with anger. I hated how he'd just blow off everything. It's hard to unlearn what you were shown as a kid.

So you're on the lowest dose possible? I dunno, they have a version of pills for breast-feeding mothers (but not just them), which has only one hormone, not the combo. Maybe you're on that one, but I've heard it's great. Good luck with that. I'm going 7 years on the same pill, and I guess I got lucky. My friend was on it for 3 months, and got a blood clot!!

 

[appletini]

cinnabar--thats interesting about the Yasmin, I''ve been on it for several years and love it. The one I don''t like is Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 2/15/2006 2:35:58 PM
Author: cinnabar

The brand I hated was called Yasmin, just in case any one else here is using the same one. It''s not approved in Britain; trials are still on-going there.

That''s what I''m on

well starting tomorrow I''m going off it.

My best friend was on that and loved it. I actually discussed my concerns with my doc this time and she told me she had the same affect on other pills but yasmin. I give up!

I''ve been on several different pills and they have affected me all the same. I really just hate being on the pill...for awhile I thought it was the guy that I was dating at the time, but then when I wasn''t dating anyone I''d still have the same irritable feelings constantly. When I started dating my FI I wasn''t on any pill (until last month) and everything was going great, I''d still have my nomarl ''PMS'' days but they only last 1-2 days and my irritable level wasn''t the same or combined with wanting to cry. Now, I feel that way everyday (minus the crying, that''s left for special days). I swore I would never go back on the pill but (without going into too much detail) we had a little incident that freaked us both out so that''s why we decided that I go on it. I can''t do it anymore, I hate it.

I''m glad he understands and didn''t feel the need to say things like ''why?'' ''maybe it''ll get better'' or something really stupid like ''are you sure it''s not in your head''

.... he said it''s fine with him.

Which just reminds me how great he is.

Amber, I come from a broken family, also..my parents divorced when I was 2 and I grew up with my mom yelling at my dad constantly about child support and what not.

It made me bottle up my anger because I hate fighting and felt it was better to not say anything. Which, obviously, isn''t good and through my years I''ve gotten a lot better about voices my concerns about things. My mom''s side of the family are yellers....my aunt told me that when her and my uncle first got married they''d fight bad (I guess they didn''t fight awhole lot while dating) my uncle was a more controlled and calm fighter...my aunt, however, was a yeller. So it caused problems to the point where they were questioning the marriage. They went to a couples therapy and it helped them fight in a more productive manner. They''ve been married for over 25 years now, seem happy, and they''ve been doing ''date night'' (suggested by their therpist) every week for the past 25 years which I think helps a lot too.

 

[flopkins]

WEll first off FI and I got into a fight last night too... sigh. but we got over it at the end... but still, not quite what we envisioned for the Vday.

Anyhoo - my old roomie had the same probs w/BCP, and she switched brands and was much better - maybe you need to try another one?!! kinda of a pain though.

 

[AmberWaves]

Well, Caribou, at least you haven''t used the shot (I can''t remember the name of it?), you''d be stuck with the side effects for 3 months, until it wears off!

 

[aphisiglovessae]

I''m on Lo-Ovral. Anyone heard of it or any problems with it? I used to be on Ortho-Cyclen and before that Depo-Provera (DO NOT USE THIS! IT''S NOTHING BUT PROBLEMS). I''ve been on birth-control so long I don''t even know if it''s making me different or not.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

The shot is Depo-Provera. It sucks big huge donkey butt!! It makes you gain a ton of weight, causes major attitude changes and it even amplifies minor depression into major depression. I also had a problem with the possibility of Cervical cancer with it. For the entire time I was on it (about 4 years), I didn't have a normal pap. I had to endure Culpos and other painful biopsies for years because they kept thinking I might have it. As soon as I got off of the shot and it was out of my system: normal paps!! ETA: And no more depression! And I lost 40 pounds right away! I'm still fighting the last 10 to 20 though.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 2/15/2006 3:36:54 PM
Author: aphisiglovessae
I''m on Lo-Ovral. Anyone heard of it or any problems with it? I used to be on Ortho-Cyclen and before that Depo-Provera (DO NOT USE THIS! IT''S NOTHING BUT PROBLEMS). I''ve been on birth-control so long I don''t even know if it''s making me different or not.

Never been on the shot but Lo-Ovral was the first pill I was ever on..hate it....

and then I was on Ortho Tri Cyclen...

.

I''m done people DONE!

Seriously no more b/c for me...well the prescribed kind anyway.

 

[AmberWaves]

I'm on the Ortho Novum 7-7-7. Been on it for so long, I totally don't even notice changes. The other day, though, I was picking up my new pack, to take that night, and the pharmacy was closed! Luckily, I take it at 10:30pm every night, so we were up at 8, to get my prescription 10 hours late! Never done that before. Having to take two in a day made me sick.

I forgot to add: back in 1979, my boyfriend was conceived and carried to term while his mother was wearing an IUD!! (Yeah, it was TMI to me, too)

 

[Caribou]

IUD....isn''t that something they inplant in you privates or the one that goes in the arm?

I''ve known a couple girls who''ve been knocked up while on the pill. Nothing is really 100%.

My friend actually, her mom was on the pill and drank up until she found out she was pregnant with my friend...6 MONTHS LATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 2/15/2006 3:51:24 PM
Author: AmberWaves
back in 1979, my boyfriend was conceived and carried to term while his mother was wearing an IUD!! (Yeah, it was TMI to me, too)

Hee hee ... I think the gals in my family are subject to super fertility. I''m the oldest of SIX and my mom was on different types of birth control for FOUR of those pregnancies. She got preggers on the IUD, jimmies, rhythm, & the ol'' pull & pray! Both of my sisters got knocked up on the FIRST month they tried. I''m just hoping the ''phram keeps ME hormonally-balanced & kid-free.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

I think it's the T-shaped implant that they insert into the uterus. It's caused a lot of problems for women because the body forms scar tissue around it and sometimes causes infection. The one that goes into your arm is called Norplant. They are tubes of Progestin.

 

[Mara]

Depo is the worst....it made my sister gain like 20 lbs and she was always a total rail before that, suddenly she looked pregnant almost...alot of the weight was in the belly. Also it has really odd side effects, I tried it too way back when and I was really not happy on it either.

Unfortunately not all methods work the same for every gal, you gotta keep trying things til you find something that works out for you.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

I was so skinny before Depo that people thought I might have been sick or something. When I got on depo, I gained 50 pounds! My cousin gained like 60 or 70!

 

[Caribou]

Date: 2/15/2006 4:09:29 PM
Author: aphisiglovessae
I think it''s the T-shaped implant that they insert into the uterus. It''s caused a lot of problems for women because the body forms scar tissue around it and sometimes causes infection. The one that goes into your arm is called Norplant. They are tubes of Progestin.

Ahhh yes....I hear that IUD falls our very easily.

I don''t hear about Norplant anymore. Do people still use it?

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Date: 2/15/2006 4:16:51 PM
Author: Caribou

Date: 2/15/2006 4:09:29 PM
Author: aphisiglovessae
I think it''s the T-shaped implant that they insert into the uterus. It''s caused a lot of problems for women because the body forms scar tissue around it and sometimes causes infection. The one that goes into your arm is called Norplant. They are tubes of Progestin.

Ahhh yes....I hear that IUD falls our very easily.

I don''t hear about Norplant anymore. Do people still use it?

Probably not since it costs between 500 and 1000 dollars to put them in and about another 100-300 dollars to take them out. If they are used, the women who get them are probably women that are established in life and don''t want children for a long time (it works for like 5 years or until they come out or something). That''s a lot of money for a young girl just starting birth control. They can also be easily visible in the arm, which I''m sure you''ll agree can be very unattractive.

 

[E B]

I''m on Yasmin and I love it. I tried Ortho Tri-Cyclen before and gained 15 lbs. Yuck.

 

[AmberWaves]

I knew a girl in HIGH SCHOOl on Norplant. Yikes. I have hear good/bad things about Depo-, you don''t really know if you''re pregnant or not because of the lack of period. The one thing I love about the pill, it''s so easy to plan around.. I know my schedule exactly, and this is coming from a girl who never knew what was happening, even with a calendar!

 

[E B]

My cousin was on Depo and gained 40lbs. The month she went off it, the weight fell off of her.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Caribou - I''m so sorry you didn''t have a great V Day.

But today is a new day!

Date: 2/15/2006 4:10:14 PM
Author: Mara
Depo is the worst....it made my sister gain like 20 lbs and she was always a total rail before that, suddenly she looked pregnant almost...alot of the weight was in the belly. Also it has really odd side effects, I tried it too way back when and I was really not happy on it either.

Unfortunately not all methods work the same for every gal, you gotta keep trying things til you find something that works out for you.

I agree, I have a friend who gets her Depo shots like clockwork . . . for some reason her doctor neglected to pee test her before her last shot in December, and it turned out a couple of weeks later she had been almost 4 months pregnant at the appointment, nearly 5 months when she realized she was! Obviously there were major issues with the pregnancy and she had to have it terminated.

Needless to say, I will never be a Depo subscriber.

I''m a Yasmin user now, and I don''t have any problems aside from weight gain, but that could have happened because I turned 30 this year and my metabalism finally caught up with me. I''ve always been ultra sensitive as an adult, and I''m actually anxious to go off the pill to see if I might actually NOT cry at commercials and A Wedding Story. I don''t remember what I was like NOT being on BC.

The good news is that FI and I rarely fight. I think we had about 3 or 4 major arguments over the past 4 years, and what we had been fighting about every 6 months was the fact that we weren''t getting engaged! Now that''s over with, so I wonder what my next "sensitivity topic" will be.