Wanting to Propose: Would a CZ be OK for now?

[CharmyPoo]

I am not sure why most people are pushing him to buy a smaller diamond and giving him advice on how to manage his money when he didn't ask for it. He has a way to get help from his parents and he has his heart set on a beautiful setting and a larger diamond. He has shopped around and knows what it cost.

To me, the surprise factor and being wowed with the ring you see .. is amazing. He seems certain and comfortable that he knows what his girlfriend wants. There is no reason to question it and from what he showed us - it is a beautiful setting that will get a round diamond (not too off base or funky). Frankly, I will still be very pleased if the ring I kept is the one my fiance chose for me - he knows exactly what I want and it is unfortunate that the ring he got didn't turn out right and it threw off his timelines. All my friends who have received "surprise" rings that have been carefully selected by their boyfriends couldn't be more thrilled. They wouldn't dream of doing the shopping together after or selecting their own rings - I find that immediately after you get engaged is when people ask to see the ring and it is your chance to "show it off".

 

[junebug17]

I am not sure why most people are pushing him to buy a smaller diamond and giving him advice on how to manage his money when he didn't ask for it. He has a way to get help from his parents and he has his heart set on a beautiful setting and a larger diamond. He has shopped around and knows what it cost.

This is a really good point Charmypoo, I think I agree with you after giving this a little more thought.

 

[jackofdiamonds]

Hi guys, I'm going to decide by tomorrow what to do. Canera has given me the option to have the ring made in gold instead of platinum which would bring the price down a bit and I could also go with a 1ct stone in which case the ring has to be custom made for a smaller stone. I'm not interested in other jewelers at this point, I was extremely impressed with the designer, and the workmanship of their pieces, they actually hand make their rings without waxes (he explained and educated me while I was there). First time I've posted here, feels a bit weird, with people trying to solicit my business.
I'm not worried about my future financial situation, it's just that I've joined the workforce only lately, but my two month salary would definitely cover things, I guess that's the calculation that everybody uses.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

I have no idea who April is talking about, but in any case, Jack, I'm glad you came back to the thread and we didn't scare you off.

It sounds like you have a good plan and I really really hope you come back and show us the ring when it's done.

 

[nbarker]

I have no idea who April is talking about, but in any case, Jack, I'm glad you came back to the thread and we didn't scare you off.

It sounds like you have a good plan and I really really hope you come back and show us the ring when it's done.

yes please come back and post pics for us!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I think that a one carat diamond in the setting of your dreams is a nice compromise. It is still a very large diamond by any standards.

 

[yssie]

Hi guys, I'm going to decide by tomorrow what to do. Canera has given me the option to have the ring made in gold instead of platinum which would bring the price down a bit and I could also go with a 1ct stone in which case the ring has to be custom made for a smaller stone. I'm not interested in other jewelers at this point, I was extremely impressed with the designer, and the workmanship of their pieces, they actually hand make their rings without waxes (he explained and educated me while I was there). First time I've posted here, feels a bit weird, with people trying to solicit my business.
I'm not worried about my future financial situation, it's just that I've joined the workforce only lately, but my two month salary would definitely cover things, I guess that's the calculation that everybody uses.

Well, this thread is going all sorts of places!

Congratulations on your decision Jack. Working with a vendor whom you trust is perhaps the most important part of this purchase. If you want assistance choosing a stone to put in your chosen setting we're here to help

 

[vespergirl]

I think that a one carat diamond in the setting of your dreams is a nice compromise. It is still a very large diamond by any standards.

Ditto Dreamer. I think that the Canera setting you posted is beautiful, and a one carat diamond is big, impressive and gorgeous. Please post hand pics when you receive the ring!

 

[tyty333]

Sounds like you have come up with a great compromise using the gold and going with a 1 carat. Please do post pictures
when you get it. I would love to see it!

Just FYI
Not sure what you meant about 1st time post and people solicting your business being "weird". We (PSers) are consumers and don't
work for any vendors. We try to help people by making suggestions and pointing out other options. Anybody on PS who does
work for a vendor has to have a Trades Person's designation and is not allowed to point out their stones or talk about other
vendor's stones. I'm pretty sure there was no vendor trying to get your business...only regular diamond enthusiast giving
their opinions. We really only want the best for our new posters.

 

[Sparklee]

....... but my two month salary would definitely cover things, I guess that's the calculation that everybody uses.

And a load of hogwash it is too!! A way for DeBeers and the diamond industry to manipulate men into buying something that really has no value, and to make women believe that their worth is based on a piece of carbon. Don't fall for it........

 

[Lighthouse]

Jack, do you mind sharing how much Canera quoted you for the ring in whitegold?

 

[jackofdiamonds]

Jack, do you mind sharing how much Canera quoted you for the ring in whitegold?

Got a quote for 1950 in 18K for a 1ct round. Original ring is in platinum, made for a 2ct, they're telling me that the ring has to be made proportionally smaller to match the smaller center.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

You're in banking? My only 2 cents is that I would NOT count on a bonus. I've been in several aspects of banking and it was a rare event for somebody to be given a bonus. The only times I have seen is with small community banks such as the one I'm with now. Good luck on the ring! Another thought is to mount it with her birthstone, provided she wasn't born in April and save for a diamond.

 

[reader]

Oh, that is going to look very elegant and feminine. You know, I think that setting might be better balanced with a 1ct stone. Please do share pictures with us when its ready.

 

[LGK]

Jack, do you mind sharing how much Canera quoted you for the ring in whitegold?

Got a quote for 1950 in 18K for a 1ct round. Original ring is in platinum, made for a 2ct, they're telling me that the ring has to be made proportionally smaller to match the smaller center.

That sounds quite reasonable for a handmade designer setting, and to be honest, I am a big fan of white gold... it stays shinier than plat if there's exposed metal, IMO. And I think it will scale down nicely for a 1 ct. Good idea!

 

[starryeyed]

Jack, do you mind sharing how much Canera quoted you for the ring in whitegold?

Got a quote for 1950 in 18K for a 1ct round. Original ring is in platinum, made for a 2ct, they're telling me that the ring has to be made proportionally smaller to match the smaller center.

This sounds great jackofdiamonds!

I recently bought a pendant from WF - they have a GREAT upgrade policy. I am a satisfied customer and am not affiliated with the company. They have this diamond, a 0.923 J SI-1 ACA, for around $3600: http://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-2405186.htm

They have others that are more expensive, but this stone might be a good value for your setting. I wasn't clear - does Canera source the diamond too?

 

[amc80]

I guess I'm in the minority, but I would be fine with a CZ. I know none of my friends would ask about it (it's not like I'd be getting a 3 ct or something). I would really prefer a CZ to either having to wait forever for the real thing or getting something really small...or him going into a crazy amount of debt.

 

[nbarker]

yes definitely sounds like you found a good compromise and 1950 is not bad at all good luck...make sure to let us all know how it goes

 

[Asu]

Please don't make a debt with your parents.Just don't.My husabnd did this,and for something way more important that a diamond.Still,my inlaws aren't going to let me see the end of this never,not even after we pay off the debt,and the money weren't even for buy something for me.A diamond that size is not a priority.If it is,just wait two or three more months(as you said your salary can cover it) and save the money you need.Do you really think she would prefere you buying a diamond instead that putting money towards an home for the both of you?I know you think your parents will love to help you,and you are surely right,but she isn't going to have peace for this,at least not peace of mind,since it's not like their money are going towards something useful.Please,think long and hard before doing it.

 

[jackofdiamonds]

Ok, guys thx everybody for your thoughts. I've taken the middle way as Buddha would say... I've placed my order for the ring with Canera with a 1.5ct CZ yesterday, I ordered the ring in platinum. I'm going to propose with this ring in the next couple of weeks. Before the wedding, I'm going to have a center stone popped into it. This will give me enough time to put a few bucks together for the stone without going into debt. They've very kindly offered to have the stones swapped out for me free of charge. I've gotten another picture of the ring from them. It's going to be shipped to me tomorrow I think, that was the sample that they had in stock. So all in all I'm happy and I think my girlfriend is going to be stoked. Thanks again.

 

[Circe]

Ok, guys thx everybody for your thoughts. I've taken the middle way as Buddha would say... I've placed my order for the ring with Canera with a 1.5ct CZ yesterday, I ordered the ring in platinum. I'm going to propose with this ring in the next couple of weeks. Before the wedding, I'm going to have a center stone popped into it. This will give me enough time to put a few bucks together for the stone without going into debt. They've very kindly offered to have the stones swapped out for me free of charge. I've gotten another picture of the ring from them. It's going to be shipped to me tomorrow I think, that was the sample that they had in stock. So all in all I'm happy and I think my girlfriend is going to be stoked. Thanks again.

So ... basically what you wanted to do when you started this thread, then?

Good luck, dude. It's awesome that you love your lady so much that you want to both propose as soon as possible AND give her the best, but be prepared for her to not necessarily love the idea of the CZ, or the aspirational model it represents.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Ok, guys thx everybody for your thoughts. I've taken the middle way as Buddha would say... I've placed my order for the ring with Canera with a 1.5ct CZ yesterday, I ordered the ring in platinum. I'm going to propose with this ring in the next couple of weeks. Before the wedding, I'm going to have a center stone popped into it. This will give me enough time to put a few bucks together for the stone without going into debt. They've very kindly offered to have the stones swapped out for me free of charge. I've gotten another picture of the ring from them. It's going to be shipped to me tomorrow I think, that was the sample that they had in stock. So all in all I'm happy and I think my girlfriend is going to be stoked. Thanks again.

So ... basically what you wanted to do when you started this thread, then?

Good luck, dude. It's awesome that you love your lady so much that you want to both propose as soon as possible AND give her the best, but be prepared for her to not necessarily love the idea of the CZ, or the aspirational model it represents.

and what will her friends say when she tells them it is a CZ?

 

[amc80]

and what will her friends say when she tells them it is a CZ?

Why would her friends ask this? The assumption will be it's a real diamond. It would be pretty rude to ask whether or not it's real.

 

[Circe]

and what will her friends say when she tells them it is a CZ?

Why would her friends ask this? The assumption will be it's a real diamond. It would be pretty rude to ask whether or not it's real.

Friends do ask. Not "is it real," but I've had people say, "Oh, what a pretty stone! What color is it?" So she'll be in the position of either saying it's a CZ, or lying by omission, a la "Oh, I don't know the details." Neither one of these really promotes the happy feeling of being proud of everything having to do with your engagement.

 

[amc80]

and what will her friends say when she tells them it is a CZ?

Why would her friends ask this? The assumption will be it's a real diamond. It would be pretty rude to ask whether or not it's real.

Friends do ask. Not "is it real," but I've had people say, "Oh, what a pretty stone! What color is it?" So she'll be in the position of either saying it's a CZ, or lying by omission, a la "Oh, I don't know the details." Neither one of these really promotes the happy feeling of being proud of everything having to do with your engagement.

I know more about diamonds than any of my friends, and I never thought to ask them details about their stones. To the OP- you know your fiance and only you know how she will take it.

 

[LadyBlue]

and what will her friends say when she tells them it is a CZ?

Why would her friends ask this? The assumption will be it's a real diamond. It would be pretty rude to ask whether or not it's real.

Friends do ask. Not "is it real," but I've had people say, "Oh, what a pretty stone! What color is it?" So she'll be in the position of either saying it's a CZ, or lying by omission, a la "Oh, I don't know the details." Neither one of these really promotes the happy feeling of being proud of everything having to do with your engagement.

Cirse, I was proposed with no ring. I got the ring after almost 1 year of marriage. I was not ashamed, and when people did ask where was the ring, I said I don't have one, I will get it in the future. This situation did not make me less proud of myself and my relationship. I do not remember anybody making fun that I did not have a ring. Maybe they did and I was so happy that I did not realize that or maybe i just don't care to hear the negativity.

I don't know this girl, but maybe she just want to be engage and happy no matter what kind of ring she gets.

 

[Circe]

and what will her friends say when she tells them it is a CZ?

Why would her friends ask this? The assumption will be it's a real diamond. It would be pretty rude to ask whether or not it's real.

Friends do ask. Not "is it real," but I've had people say, "Oh, what a pretty stone! What color is it?" So she'll be in the position of either saying it's a CZ, or lying by omission, a la "Oh, I don't know the details." Neither one of these really promotes the happy feeling of being proud of everything having to do with your engagement.

Cirse, I was proposed with no ring. I got the ring after almost 1 year of marriage. I was not ashamed, and when people did ask where was the ring, I said I don't have one, I will get it in the future. This situation did not make me less proud of myself and my relationship. I do not remember anybody making fun that I did not have a ring. Maybe they did and I was so happy that I did not realize that or maybe i just don't care to hear the negativity.

I don't know this girl, but maybe she just want to be engage and happy no matter what kind of ring she gets.

Oh, I don't think there's any shame in any sort of ring (or lack thereof) - it's all about the fact that you're in love. But I do think being put in a position where you're inviting a certain set of assumptions, which you then have to explain, is awkward.

I'm going to guess that you and your then-fiance made the decision to get engaged and hold off on a ring together, yes? If Jack ran this by his GF and she said that she loved CZs and wanted a fancy setting, I'd be cheering. But I think that having something like that unilaterally sprung on you is a recipe for disaster.

 

[LadyBlue]

and what will her friends say when she tells them it is a CZ?

Why would her friends ask this? The assumption will be it's a real diamond. It would be pretty rude to ask whether or not it's real.

Friends do ask. Not "is it real," but I've had people say, "Oh, what a pretty stone! What color is it?" So she'll be in the position of either saying it's a CZ, or lying by omission, a la "Oh, I don't know the details." Neither one of these really promotes the happy feeling of being proud of everything having to do with your engagement.

Cirse, I was proposed with no ring. I got the ring after almost 1 year of marriage. I was not ashamed, and when people did ask where was the ring, I said I don't have one, I will get it in the future. This situation did not make me less proud of myself and my relationship. I do not remember anybody making fun that I did not have a ring. Maybe they did and I was so happy that I did not realize that or maybe i just don't care to hear the negativity.

I don't know this girl, but maybe she just want to be engage and happy no matter what kind of ring she gets.

Oh, I don't think there's any shame in any sort of ring (or lack thereof) - it's all about the fact that you're in love. But I do think being put in a position where you're inviting a certain set of assumptions, which you then have to explain, is awkward.

I'm going to guess that you and your then-fiance made the decision to get engaged and hold off on a ring together, yes? If Jack ran this by his GF and she said that she loved CZs and wanted a fancy setting, I'd be cheering. But I think that having something like that unilaterally sprung on you is a recipe for disaster.

Actually I had no idea he was going to proposed, one day he felt it was the perfect time and he did it, after that he said we would have to wait so he could buy the ring he really wanted to get me. I suggest buying one cheap from Sam's but he told me how much he wanted to buy me a nice ring but we will have to wait for that and I accepted. Probably he did it because he knew me, and he knew that what I cared the most was about the idea of becoming a family and not about the ring.

Everybody is different and I'm not saying that to care about the ring is a bad thing, what I'm saying is that maybe she is the type of girl that would be ok with a CZ. I just have a friend that got proposed with one and in the future they are going to get the real deal and she is happy with that.

 

[Circe]

Actually I had no idea he was going to proposed, one day he felt it was the perfect time and he did it, after that he said we would have to wait so he could buy the ring he really wanted to get me. I suggest buying one cheap from Sam's but he told me how much he wanted to buy me a nice ring but we will have to wait for that and I accepted. Probably he did it because he knew me, and he knew that what I cared the most was about the idea of becoming a family and not about the ring.

Everybody is different and I'm not saying that to care about the ring is a bad thing, what I'm saying is that maybe she is the type of girl that would be ok with a CZ. I just have a friend that got proposed with one and in the future they are going to get the real deal and she is happy with that.

It's the "maybe" that makes me uncomfortable. I really do think it's a good idea to talk to one's partner before giving them a big, beautiful, shiny ring ... that might turn out to have some conditions attached (like, say, the situation Vesper discussed upthread, or the possibility of having to explain your ring instead of just celebrating it). Why borrow trouble? I just don't see how the "surprise" of the proposal balances out against the "surprise!" of "it's not what you think."

 

[Dreamer_D]

Gaby your situation is totally different in my opinion. To me, no ring while waiting is far far different that a fake diamond while waiting, since no ring is honest. No ring is preferrable to a fake in my book. But then I do not like to pretend to something I cannot afford. Lots of women out there apparently feel different. I do have one friend who would gladly wear a CZ with pride, but she thinks diamonds are a silly waste of money and would prodly declare her ring to be fake for all to hear! But I suspect she is a rare bird.

And to those who think no one will ask about the ring, I say C'mon! A 1.5ct D color diamond (that's what CZ's are) in a very ornate and fancy setting? You think no one will commment when she is newly engaged? Not to ask if it is real, perhaps, but certainly to talk about it and ask about it, like Circe says, and then she will either have to tell the truth or lie, and she may not be comfortable with either. And I suspect they will talk about how much it probably cost behind her back, since a real ring of those specs would cost about $30k, which is a lot for a very young couple, and hopefully this will not make her uncomfortable either.

To the OP: Good luck! I truly hope she loves it.