Was your first e-ring what you REALLY wanted?

[stargurl78]

It was mostly what I wanted but just needed a few tweaks. I knew that I wanted a MRB and I wanted something simple. One summer my husband was in St. Louis for 6 weeks for work and I visited him there for a week. I was having a spa day one afternoon and decided to go to some of the shops and stores in the area. I had never even looked at engagement rings before but I saw a round solitaire with diamonds set in the band (like the Tiffany etoile band but not scattered) and I really liked it. So I showed it to my now DH the next day and I told him that if he ever decided to propose that I liked something simple like that with a round stone. I told him I didn't want anything too large (what was I thinking? ) because my finger was only a size 4. I told him a half carat was probably a good size but to please only get what he could afford when the time comes. I let him know that quality was more important to me than size. That was the only discussion we ever had about the ring.

Two years after that he contacted that same jeweler and had the ring re-made. He purchased the diamond from JA which is a 0.79ct GIA Excellent cut E VS2 stone with faint flouro that scores under 2 on the HCA. I love the stone and I think if I had been given his budget and told to pick a stone I would have picked that exact one. I have made a few changes to the ring though. The original ring that I saw was much thinner and the ring that DH proposed with was 4mm wide so I had the edges shaved off and its now around 2.7mm which I'm much happier with. It looks much better on my small finger and the center stone stands out more. The stone was also set in a very tall 4-prong setting which I didn't mind the look of but after knocking the stone loose a few times, I decided to have BGD change it to a lower 6-prong head with their yummy claw prongs.

The ring is now perfect and it is my forever ring unless I decide someday that I want a larger stone. And I wouldn't trade this stone in for an upgrade, I would buy a second ring, maybe an OEC in a simple antique setting (yes, I have caught the OEC bug too! )

Sorry for such a long story!

 

[GirlyGirl]

I have been married for exactly one month.

Last year, when we got engaged, I was dead set on Tiffany's Lucida or Soleste. My now husband laughed and asked if I wanted a honeymoon or not. I lurked on PS and decided that the AVC was more perfect. I adore my ring. I hope that 30 years from now I will still love it.

 

[motownmama]

Girly girl - how could you not? - it's lovely!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[lambskin]

I was 29 y.o. and had dreamed of my e-ring all my life. I wanted either an emerald or oval cut set in plat. I have large Irish hands and knuckles and a RB made my knuckles appear bigger and rounder. I toyed with an oval with side pears or an emerald cut with two side baguettes or smaller emerald cuts. Hubby gave me a price point to work with as he had no interest in jewelry shopping and knew it was very important to me as we knew friends who were unhappy with their 'surprise' engagement rings. So I searched for the center stone as the rest would fall into place. Saw a lot of overpriced, badly cut, and off color stones. I fell in love with a beautiful oval stone. It is one of the prettiest diamonds I have ever seen and I am proud to wear it anywhere. The side baguettes are not exactly identical. I have been married for 24 years and I still love the classic setting as it has never gone out of date.

 

[Enerchi]

Any chance some of you ladies would mind coming back and posting photos??? We love our pics, you know! Some of the rings you are all describing sound amazing! I'm curious....

 

[Niel]

Any chance some of you ladies would mind coming back and posting photos??? We love our pics, you know! Some of the rings you are all describing sound amazing! I'm curious....

I was just thinking the same thing

 

[mimi123]

It's probably a safe bet that your tastes will change over time. Yes, my first ring was what I wanted and we both chose together. It was a classic setting with a .75 ct solitaire. Fast forward many years and have since updated to a three stone with great finger coverage and haven't looked back.

 

[valchiria]

No. It isn't.
It was 2008. I was a reader of this forum and I knew his budget, so I find the better ring for that budget, and I said him. That would be my e-ring forever.
He preferred to listen to the seller, and so he made THE mistake.
The seller made the deal, my husband wasted his money.
I've tried to think "It's ok, It's ok", but no, it wasn't.
At the end I use the ring as a RHR...when I use it. It's many time that I don't use it because it remember me that most of the time my husband listen to the other and not me.
I tried to convince him for an upgrade, a time he said yes...but then come back and said no, no and again no.
At the end I'll buy my ring. Now I'm saving money.

 

[Niel]

It's probably a safe bet that your tastes will change over time. Yes, my first ring was what I wanted and we both chose together. It was a classic setting with a .75 ct solitaire. Fast forward many years and have since updated to a three stone with great finger coverage and haven't looked back.

I know people say this but where I am from that not really something people do, which is why i have been trying really hard to pick a classic, less trendy ring. The consept of upgrading or changing isnt something I had even heard of before PS

 

[ericad]

My first engagement ring was a cz ring that we used in order to avoid harsh judgment, since our marriage was already quite controversial anyway (no money for a diamond ring, but people in our circle didn't know that, so we got the ring for show. Very silly.)

I wore it for awhile, then slowly phased it out and was ring less for years and years until I decided to get a ring for our 10 year wedding anniversary. That's what brought me to PS, and eventually to antique stones, and how I met Grace and embarked on our antique diamond business.

So no, my original ring wasn't what I would have chosen for myself and DH had (and continues to have) zero interest in rectifying that. So I just had to get myself the ring I really wanted. Well....several times. It's an ever moving target, lol. He doesn't stand in my way, and I've saved that little cz ring all these years and enjoy looking at it and seeing how far we've come since then.

 

[imitcan]

My e-ring is an heirloom from my father-in-law's family. The stone is a 1 carat + round solitaire. The old setting was plain enough but it was small on my finger but I didn't say anything even about that until much later in our marriage. I guess part of it was that I was thrilled to be engaged and to have such a big diamond. Most of my friends had much smaller rings, and I had done some research on my own and knew how much the price spiked when you got in the one carat range so I knew that we probably would not have afforded such a ring if we had to buy it. I am happy with my e-ring. I wear it happily everyday in a newer but still very plain setting.
I like the analogy of the e-ring being like a tatoo.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

More then I wanted. At a second hand jewelry store we asked to see an old cut diamond it Platinum that caught my eye. Love at first sight. No lab report, just a jewelers appraisal. Never have ever seen a more beautiful diamond in my life. After pricescope I learned about labs, loupes, etc,..... But still it is as beautiful as ever.

 

[Fly Girl]

No, of course not. But, what I really wanted was the man, and it was a diamond ring, even though it was only 0.17 ct.

After finding PS about 30+ years later, I wear that same ring set now with a 0.63 ct E VS2 ISEE2 diamond. Finally, it's what I really wanted this ring to look like all along. Thank you to PS and to Rhino at GOG!

ETA: The photo shows the new diamond in my original e-ring setting next to the original diamond that I used as a tiny accent stone in a custom aquamarine pendant. No, it didn't provide any finger coverage at all!

 

[junebug17]

I was happy with my ering - he picked it out and got what he could afford, a .33 round. We were young and he had just started working. I thought it was very pretty and looked nice on my hand. I didn't really care about diamond size. I lost the ring somewhere in the house but I still look for it and hope to find it someday. Aw dang, this walk down memory lane is making me feel all nostalgic and sentimental about that ring lol!

 

[Dougsgirl]

I got married when I was 20 and my hubby was 21. I was 4 months pregnant and already had a 2 year old. (Let's not open THAT can of worms!! Suffice it to say I made poor decisions, then better decisions, and had GREAT parents!! I had my 3rd child when I was 22... I am now 39... My oldest will be 21 in December, my daughter is 18 and just went off to college, my youngest is 16 and a junior in highschool... It was hard in the beginning, but AWESOME now!! And I've been married to the same man for 18.5 years!!)

ANYWAY... We designed our original wedding ring using diamonds that were given to us from both sides of the family. My mom gave us a ring from her aunt that had a .25ct center stone. My DH's grandma gave us a ring with 5 .15ct stones. We used them all, and then bought a 6th stone to match the other 5 smaller stones. We had the ring made by Ben Bridge jewelers in yellow gold, and I think we paid about $600 for the whole thing in 1994. (Again, we already had 6 of the 7 diamonds.)
I designed the ring, then they added a wedding band that I never really liked. But I wore it for years until I eventually lost one of the side stones. My DH and I had said all along that eventually we would add "a stone of our own" but our 10th anniversary came, and then our 15th and we never had the extra income for it. The ring went into a jewelry box and we bought matching platinum bands that we have been wearing for probably 8 years or so.
Finally, about 2 years ago, I decided to replace the missing diamond in my wedding band and have it resized to wear as a RH ring. I also had the wedding band removed that I had never liked. But shortly there after, the band broke down the middle (at the bottom of my finger) because the gold was weak. So back in the box it went.

This year my DH's company that he works for was sold and we got a stock payout. We had talked about the "new ring" for years and DH said... "If we don't do it now, we never will". SO the process began... Thanks to PS and GOG I have just recently designed the ring of my dreams (see the SMTB forum and you can see the "sneak peek" pictures!) And we are using the 6 smaller side-stones from my original wedding band to make a new band that I can hopefully wear with my new e-ring. If not, I will wear it with my current platinum band during the times that I don't want to wear the "big" ring.
I'm still not sure what I will do with my original .25ct center stone... maybe a pendant?? But I'm thinking of using the gold from my mom's ring to make a spacer band. I'd like to have all the elements from my old ring in the new one!

Soon I will have pictures of both the new e-ring, and the new wedding band. But for now... her is a photo of my original e-ring, minus the wedding band that I never liked. LOL I actually still like the design that we came up with. And it was SO sparkly!!

 

[rosetta]

Yes and yes.

Hubby wanted to get me a ring of my own. He DID listen to some things I said but not everything. I have a beautiful 1 ct F VVS2 cushion which astonishingly has the right facet pattern and no appearance of crushed ice. He even got a handmade platinum setting with pave. I can't believe he designed such a lovely ring.

But I still yearned for a bigger, lower colour stone, and definitely NOT a VVS stone. I'm a very lucky girl that my hubby let me then do my own research and then paid for another completely different 3 stone J SI2.

To the person on the street, my high colour high clarity stone couldn't be better. But the 2.58ct J SI stone has the wow factor PSers will get.

I love both my rings dearly, and they are a testament to how much my husband has done to make me happy. Gotta love him.

That doesn't mean a girl cant get yet another ring some day

 

[MustangGal]

Mine was what I thought I wanted at the time... within DH's budget. But, I was only 19 when we got engaged back in 1999. I chose yellow gold, since that's what my mother had and said "engagement ring" to me. It was tiny, .15ct marguis with lots of other little stones, and the integrated wedding band that was popular back in the 1980's. Zales still sells that same ring http://www.zales.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3210144 ! If I had actually gone and tried stuff on and looked around more, I probably would have chosen something else. I wore it several years until I developed an allergy to yellow gold. I've since had a pear and now an oval. I'm not an RB girl, at least I got that right in the begining!

 

[GirlyGirl]

Girly girl - how could you not? - it's lovely!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you!

 

[gammygam]

nielseel, is that a ruby Cavalier as your avatar? If so, tell me all about him or her! I have two of them, a ruby boy and a black and tan puppy. How I adore Cavaliers!

Secondly, sorry about the oval and half moons. I had been looking for my brother's upgrade ring for forever! He's coming up on his 10 year anniversary. When they first got married, my SIL really wanted a 1 carat but, he couldn't afford it at the time and opted to go with a higher quality half carat RB. She was hoping for a 5 year anniversary upgrade but, it wasn't meant to be. Now with the increase in diamond prices, I've been looking really hard for the past 1 1/2 years for him. It's going to be really special as the first time they will both see it will be when they fly out for my wedding!

Don't have ring envy, I'm sure your pear will be TDF! I'm totally enamored with pears myself. My story is I was engaged years ago. That's when I first found PS. I really loved square cuts and cushions and the Jubilee seemed like the perfect fit for me. We got engaged with a 1 ct in a trellis setting which after browsing PS I was really unhappy with. Anyway, the engagement didn't work out and this time, I learned from my previous mistake with the setting. Lucky for me, my FI knows how nutty I am about jewelry and knew to not even attempt to buy a ring without my approval. It took us over 6 months to find our ring! I was so lucky that it was already in a ring.

Basically, I first asked him if he'd consider a colored stone. My jeweler showed me a paraiba (previously I had only ever seen them on PS) and I was in loveee. My then bf was uncomfortable with a colored stone as the e-ring so we started looking at diamonds. The problem is, I wasted much of my time trying to love a RB or a cushion. In the end, I felt like they reminded me too much of my previous e-ring (Jubilee has the H&A of a round). It was only after I dragged him to HW that I just tried on shapes of 2-3ct diamonds that I finally knew what called to me, pears!

My jeweler who is totally awesome and isn't open to the public said that he thought he knew the perfect ring for me, but I had issues with it. Was on the small side of what I was looking for at 2.01 and had an SI2 clarity and is completely halo'd out, but it had paraiba sidestones. I agreed to at least take a look. Well when I saw it, I was blown away. Loved the paraiba sidestones and the 2 ct actually faces up like a 2.7-3ct pear because the depth of my stone is 51% plus it's a D color. All the inclusions are on the table as well and black carbon, but I swear its completely eyeclean irl. So, technically, this isn't my first e-ring, it is my first and forever e-ring in my relationship now

 

[distracts]

Gammygam, somehow I had missed your ring before - !! It's incredible - I love paraibas but they are soooooo out of my budget. And pears are one of my favorite shapes! I hope you know that when you die I will be there to pry that sucker off your finger. I think you should update its thread with many more pictures.

 

[Niel]

gammygam: yes he is a ruby cavalier his name is Mortimer. Funny story with him
I was looking for puppies to get as a university graduation present. I wasnt particularly sure what I had wanted my my grandpa had told me about this Amish farm 30 minutes north from where we lived. He had helped them build something or another, and while up there he noticed they bred caveliers (outdoors in a pen poor babies ) anywho so we drove up there to see if they had a litter (couldnt call, theywere Amish and all). We got up there and found out they did not have a litter. They were, however, willing to sell me a ruby stud they had because he was "too big" and they wanted to breed smaller cavs. I wasnt sure I wanted to get a dog that was already an adult, but while I was considering it he just sat at the edge of the pen staring at me with his big old eyes. I had to take him home. Poor baby was all dirty and matted from being outside. Funny thing is though he was living outside for 5 years in that barn and the second he got into my house he went right for the sofa. I think he was making up for lost time. Now he lives in the lap of luxury (comparatively )


As for the oval 3 stone, i am over it. I love that shape and was just so sad to see it for sale as soon as I made a decision to go a different way. But Im sure I made the right choice. No one has pears where I live and its going to have such finger coverage for my budget! Oh and of course I love the design. Just hard when I dont have a finished product yet to see a ready made ring that i ALSO love was within reach. Good thing you bought it and took that option away from me or who knows what I would have done (two engagement rings probably!!!)


Im glad everyone is sharing I love to hear all the stories. Especially you ladies that started off with modest rings and have such showstoppers now. It gives a gal like me hope.

 

[gammygam]

nielseel, Mortimer (what a great name!) looks like a doll. Sorry for the threadjack, but I'd love for you to start a thread maybe in Hangout with more pics of the guy! My ruby guy was about a year old when I first got him as well. You saved that poor angel from an outdoor life. Cavs are supposed to live in the lap of luxury!

I can't wait to see your pear! Pears are a really uncommon shape where I live too (and I see some big honkers around here!). However, the pears I always see aren't very well cut so I always drool when I see a new pear posted on PS. When will it be finished? And you know, there's always room on your right hand...

 

[Niel]

My ring should be done next week. Im more worried about what you PSers will think of it that what I will. I think the diamond was great but what if I made the wrong choice


I will start a hang out thread for our cavs but in the mean time more stories about first engagement rings please?? I love to hear them.

 

[gammygam]

Nielseel, I'm sure your ring will be just gorgeous! Pears and fancies are tricky, they are not by the numbers at all. My pear for example falls into the 1C category based on the GIA numbers, but you know what? Its the most beautiful one I've seen. So my point is, trust your eyes.

 

[Enerchi]

My ring should be done next week. Im more worried about what you PSers will think of it that what I will. I think the diamond was great but what if I made the wrong choice


I will start a hang out thread for our cavs but in the mean time more stories about first engagement rings please?? I love to hear them.

While I can understand what you mean, what we or anyone else on the planet thinks of it, is not important. Your engagement ring is all about YOU YOU YOU (well, and your FI, of course) but its what you want, not what will please others!!

Very excited to share your joy when you post your ring next week - its going to be gorgeous and look amazing, don't worry!!!

 

[wordie89]

I've enjoyed reading your stories. Gammygam, beautiful pear. Those paraibas make it pop. Dougsgirl, enjoyed the background on your special ring...it was a family affair!

Yes. First e ring was what I wanted. We chose it together at Kimballs Jewelers in Knoxville. It was an 18k yg orange blossom tapered band with pierced work on either side of a little blank space. No stone. I wore it on my right hand during engagement and switched it to my left on wedding day. Wore it daily but at night I put it on a tray, except when he was on deployment when I wore it all the time.

Don't know how but around 16th anniversary, I lost it in the house. At first I thought oao was having it engraved as we'd recently been discussing the blank space and I mentioned how part of the piercing was broken. Nope. We looked all over. I've looked into replacing it but OB went out of business. Then a Canadian company purchased the name and old dies.... I pored over their old catalogs but didn't find the band.....I think mine was originally supposed to have a prong head inserted in the blank space. Ah well.

Close to 17th anniversary we found a beautiful estate ring around but I didn't want to spend the money. Negotiations were fruitless, the jeweler, in a b&m at the mall said he had no wiggle room. I walked away. However, oao returned and purchased it. So, it wasn't my first e ring but it's the first with diamonds. I still look for my orange blossom band.

platinum with approximately .98 vs1 center and 8 rounds totaling .40 cts and 4 baguette emeralds. Size 6.5 which is a bit tight these days.

 

[brellymom]

Nope. My first e-ring was chosen when I was 19 and didn't know a thing about diamonds, much less my own taste! It was a sweet .2 carat YG RB. I was SO proud of it! We were so poor! At our 10th anniv we upgraded to a 1 carat, ungraded (dumb I know, but I was still stupid about diamonds, but knew i wanted bigger!). He picked out two .25 sidestones and I loved the 3-ring look for a few years, then I upgraded the side stones to .5's on my own. I wore that until our 25th when I went for a larger stone - got a 1.8 RB solitaire. Then found PS. Sigh. So I traded it for a 2.4 and eventually a 2.9. I'm sort of finished My DH isn't into rings or spending money, so this is all my thing, but he's okay with it as long as we can afford it!

 

[TracyBear]

We're in the process of constructing our Ering and I've learned so much about myself and our relationship as a result.

Lesson #1: Who's happiness matters? I picked out our diamond, then had second thoughts about it's size. DSS on the 2nd day of owning that diamond. Can you believe it? I wanted to exchanged it for a larger stone, compromising on a lower clarity. Cut and color were unaffected. If I can't see the inclusions, why not go bigger? He's a quality/rarity type of guy so he was uncomfortable with my thought process. In the end, I kept our diamond and became appreciative of it mainly because it makes my man so happy/proud to give me something that he thought was best. My chubby-soon-to-be-hubby's eyes lights up when he talks of our small diamond, "It's so shiny that it looks FAKE!" He cracks me up with his comments. While we're looking at settings through PS...(his exact words), "Man, that is one HUGE good looking diamond....BUT it ain't INTERNALLY FLAWLESS!"

Lesson #2: Future upgrades. I didn't have the finger coverage that I wanted. I thought, "No big deal,I'll just upgrade it in the future." As I'm going through the time consuming setting designs, pouring through multiple forums, soliciting different venders like a crack addict, neglecting sleep and other aspects of my life to get this ring, I realized that I've become foolishly obsessive. My sweet man, "Honey, I want to do something too. You do everything." My exact words, "You ARE doing something love, you're paying for it." Terrible, I know. My man's hard work, the money/time we've spent, and the fact that I'm turning into a Ering Nazi is confirming my decision to not upgrade in the future.

I wanted a simple solitaire with good finger coverage. Come to realize that I love the halo pave ring design! It wasn't originally what I wanted, BUT in return, we got financial stability and a beautiful ring. Who's to say that if I got that big rock, I wouldn't want something even BIGGER? It's exhausting to always chase after the next "big thing". Sometimes, I have to remind myself to step back and reevaluate why I needed that feeling of gratification from an object. Am I seeking a temporary high/ easy fix for an issue in my life that's more difficult for me to resolve? Personally, true satisfaction came for me when I got to the root of why I wanted the ring in the first place. We're in a long distance relationship and I wanted him "prove" his commitment. After seeing that my supportive man stuck by me through all these years and even when I'm being irrational and crazy through this whole diamond search, it finally clicked. He didn't really have to prove anything, he existence in my life says it all. Now I'm truly excited about my ring and can't wait to until he proposes!!!