Wedding Dress Regrets

[House Cat]

I think I may have bought my wedding dress too early! I guess I was just excited about the whole process, but now I am having some serious regrets. I had no idea that all of the bridal magazine ads would get to me like this. The other catch is that I bought my dress for a different kind of wedding. Originally, we were going to have an indoor, winter wedding. Now, we''re having an outdoor, spring wedding.

I really don''t know what to do. My wedding is a year away and I know that I am going to see many, MANY gowns during that time. Should I just wait for my gown to come in and then try and sell it if I find another? Should I try and call the bridal shop and switch my order, because one of the gowns I''m currently coveting is La Sposa, and it is the same brand as my original dress? The other two gowns I am considering are Melissa Sweet gowns, so switching my order would be irrelevant at that point.

Should I just wait a while and shop again in a few months?

Here is a photo of the dress I''ve ordered:

 

[House Cat]

Here is a photo of the dress that I want to order: (I love the jacket and the mix of vintage and modern.)

 

[vintagelover229]

Date: 5/3/2009 10:55:58 AM
Author:House Cat
I think I may have bought my wedding dress too early! I guess I was just excited about the whole process, but now I am having some serious regrets. I had no idea that all of the bridal magazine ads would get to me like this. The other catch is that I bought my dress for a different kind of wedding. Originally, we were going to have an indoor, winter wedding. Now, we''re having an outdoor, spring wedding.

I really don''t know what to do. My wedding is a year away and I know that I am going to see many, MANY gowns during that time. Should I just wait for my gown to come in and then try and sell it if I find another? Should I try and call the bridal shop and switch my order, because one of the gowns I''m currently coveting is La Sposa, and it is the same brand as my original dress? The other two gowns I am considering are Melissa Sweet gowns, so switching my order would be irrelevant at that point.

Should I just wait a while and shop again in a few months?

Here is a photo of the dress I''ve ordered:

The dress you ordered is beautiful!
Your being VERY NAUGHTY looking at other dresses, lol.

Your not supposed to do that after you''ve already placed an order for one!

I guess my question to you is...the dress you ordered...when you tried it on did you get "that" feeling? You know...the "OMG" feeling? If you did...quit looking at dresses, because there are SO MANY BEAUTIFUL ONES that you''ll ALWAYS second guess the one you ordered!

Now....if you didnt get that feeling, and you tried on any of the other ones you posted about...and got "that feeling" well, then you should probably try and change your order.

Another thing you should do though...IS STOP LOOKING AT DRESSES!

I know its SO HARD TO DO! It''s super hard! But you''ll have ordered like 5 dresses before you know it because they are all so pretty!

Its normal to second guess your dress, most brides do it!

Do you have pictures of yourself in the dresses? That would help a lot. but to be honest...you cant go wrong with either of them. If you really like the jacket look...why not find a cute little bolero to go with the dress you ordered?

Hope this helps!

 

[Izzy03]

I was warned that women tend to have regrets after they purchase their dress. That is why after I bought mine I did my best to not look at anymore pictures of dresses. I didn''t even browse through wedding magazines I had bought! But occasionally I would see a see a dress posted on PS that would make me have second thoughts anyway!

When I went in for my first fitting, my dress didn''t really fit right and I had even more regrets! But by the time the dress was fitted to the "T" and I was ready to walk down the isle, I was back in love with it!

Personally, I don''t think dresses really have "seasons". A wedding dress is a wedding dress. I think most dresses can be worn at any time of the year, any time of the day, in any type of ceremony. I got married on the outdoors, in the daytime, spring colors, and my dress was a very couture style gown. Not what some people would think was best for that type of wedding.

In the end YOU are the only one who has to love the dress, but I think your original dress is

. To me it is very romantic, and the slightly flowy thing going on with it would make it gorgeous for an outdoor spring wedding. I like it MUCH more than the second dress you posted.

If it would help, go back to the bridal shop and try on a few more, but go with the dress that makes you feel amazing. Maybe you will find your original dress really is the one. After that, STAY AWAY FROM PICTURES OF DRESSES!

 

[CNOS128]

I really like the dress you bought!! And it seems appropriately springy to me. If you''re sure that you''re really unhappy with it, you can call the shop and ask what your options are -- but you should also remember that you bought it for a reason (I assume you loved it at the time!). Is there a way you can try on your dress again to remind yourself why you chose it in the first place?

I can completely relate, as I thought I had wedding dress regrets, too (thread is here), after having purchased my dress and then gone a few months without seeing it. But then I had my fitting a couple weeks ago (I had that thread taken down) and fell in love all over again with the dress I had chosen.

Certainly, I see other dresses here and in magazines that I think I would love just as much (or perhaps even more). But perhaps there is no one, perfect dress out there for some of us - perhaps there are a few wonderful dresses that would all be fabulous, and it kind of stinks that we each need to choose just one.

Sorry you''re feeling regretful; no matter what, I''m sure you''ll look gorgeous on your wedding day.

 

[JerseyGrl81]

I love the dress you bought! I think it will fit the feel of an outside Spring wedding. I also think that is very common to have regrets about your dress as you wait for it to come in. Try giving the dress shop a call and see what they say.

 

[galvana]

im sorry you are feeling this way housecat. i think we all have felt it at one point, i know i have.
BUT its only normal, there are thousands of amazing dresses out there, THOUSANDS, so of course you may see one that you may think is better than your own, but there will ALWAYS be a better one out there.
This is what i think anyway. i know if i changed my dress, that in time,,,,,,i would find another one i like even better.

The bottom line is, did you love your dress when you ordered it? if yes than keep it. Dont worry = i think you''ll love it again.

 

[blackpolkadot]

Date: 5/3/2009 8:57:59 PM
Author: iloveprincesscuts

The bottom line is, did you love your dress when you ordered it? if yes than keep it. Dont worry = i think you'll love it again.

I agree.


I felt the same way after I bought mine. I was scared when I went to my first fitting, but every time I go back, I

it more! I say just wait until it comes in because you will probably love it once you put it on again.

 

[Dannielle]

I agree with Izzy that dresses don''t really have a season, especially the one you have picked.

I think the dress that you ordered is really lovely, wait until it comes in, try it on and then see how you feel

 

[marchswallowbird]

First, find out if your bridal shop will even let you switch your order at this point. Then, consider that selling your wedding dress can be very, very difficult. A lot of girls can''t sell their dress at all (even if new) and if you do, you usually have to give a deep discount on it.

Once you know your options, you''ll be in a better position to make a decision. One factor will be whether the $$$ involved will be worth it to get a different dress.

I bought my dress 13 months before my wedding (which is this Sept). and I continued to look at tons of bridal magazines and pics of other dresses. I found others I loved, but reminded myself that 1) I couldn''t afford to change my mind at that point 2) a lot of the dresses I loved in magazines looked horrible on me and 3) my dress was perfect for the type of wedding I''m having (daytime outdoor wedding at the end of summer).

I had my final fitting several weeks ago and I LOVE my dress. Glad I didn''t go thru all the trauma of getting a second one and then having to figure out what to do with the first.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I think the one you ordered is gorgeous!

 

[musey]

Date: 5/3/2009 10:19:42 PM
Author: Dannielle
I agree with Izzy that dresses don't really have a season, especially the one you have picked.

I think the dress that you ordered is really lovely, wait until it comes in, try it on and then see how you feel

Ditto.

For what it's worth, I also had big time dress regret. I think it's quite common. You will very likely forget all of that when you try it on again

In the end, please try to remember: it's just a dress. Yes, it's your wedding dress, with all the pressure and importance that that entails... but it's still just a dress. It's okay to let it be less than the 100%-perfect-in-every-way-dream-dress.

 

[bee*]

I''d go back and try on the sample of the dress that you''ve ordered and see how you feel when you put it on again. Also try and remember how you felt when you ordered it. I think that all of us who''ve ordered our dress has seen another nice dress from time to time and that''s normal as there are lots of beautiful dresses. Just remember why the one you ordered called out to you.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/4/2009 5:28:11 AM
Author: bee*
I''d go back and try on the sample of the dress that you''ve ordered and see how you feel when you put it on again. Also try and remember how you felt when you ordered it. I think that all of us who''ve ordered our dress has seen another nice dress from time to time and that''s normal as there are lots of beautiful dresses. Just remember why the one you ordered called out to you.

Good advice! As others have said, you could also wait for your dress, but depending on how long that might be and how strongly you are feeling that this really *isn''t* the dress for you, it might be too late to do anything about it then. I think trying on a sample of the one you ordered will give you a great idea of how you feel about it now.

For what it''s worth, I am absolutely in LOVE with the dress you ordered. It is just gorgeous!

 

[merrymunky]

I think the dress you ordered is just stunning.

I ordered my dress on the first trip and I remember just how gorgeous I felt in it. I got slightly teary, which must be a good sign. Yet when I look at pictures of it on the model I think it is just pretty. When I start to doubt it I just think back to my feelings when I was desperate to NOT take the dress off!!

But at the end of the day, only you know what is absolutely right for you.
I hope you make the best decision.

 

[Rhea]

Date: 5/4/2009 5:28:11 AM
Author: bee*
I''d go back and try on the sample of the dress that you''ve ordered and see how you feel when you put it on again. Also try and remember how you felt when you ordered it. I think that all of us who''ve ordered our dress has seen another nice dress from time to time and that''s normal as there are lots of beautiful dresses. Just remember why the one you ordered called out to you.

I agree, try the dress on again! I think most of us have doubted our dresses. Your''s is a seasonless dress and if you put it on again you''ll probably remember why you chose it.

 

[blackbetty]

if it makes you feel any better, i tried that dress on, and it can be very unflattering if you aren''t leggy or are a little hippy (as i am) due to where some of the fullness on the bottom comes in. i think the dress you ordered is beautiful & i''m sure you''ll feel like the most beautiful girl ever when you put it on.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

The dress you ordered is beautiful. Stop looking at other dresses!

Also, in most cases, once you order the dress, it''s yours. They are all considered custom orders so I doubt that even if you used the same designer, the bridal store would probably not be able to switch.

 

[Patchee]

Same thing happend to me ... I now have a beautiful dress that I am not wearing and am taken the loss of ($$ wise) because I found another dress... DO NOT look at any others and keep the one you have. I am looking to give mine away now, brand new with tags because a wedding dress seems to be unsellable!

 

[icekid]

Date: 5/4/2009 3:10:58 PM
Author: Patchee
Same thing happend to me ... I now have a beautiful dress that I am not wearing and am taken the loss of ($$ wise) because I found another dress... DO NOT look at any others and keep the one you have. I am looking to give mine away now, brand new with tags because a wedding dress seems to be unsellable!

I agree here- once you buy a dress, STOP LOOKING! (Unless you have the money to blow on another dress, that is.) You''ll keep finding others that are lovely in different ways. I think it you step away from looking at all of the dresses you cannot have, you''ll fall back in love with the one you chose.

 

[tyty333]

I guess I''m no help but I have to say I love the dress you ordered (better than the other one - but I know its not
for me!)

 

[House Cat]

I know that all of you are right when you say that I shouldn''t be looking at any more dresses. I really have been naughty. In my defense, I wasn''t really looking, I was reading a bridal magazine, and there she was...

But all of you are right. I bought that dress for a reason. I did feel like it was the most beautiful dress that I tried on and I tried on A LOT of dresses! I do think I will go down to the bridal shop and try on my dress again, just for reassurance. They will probably think I''m strange, but I need to remember my dress and take in more of the detail so that I will no longer feel the need to stray.

I do think that once the dress is in my size I will love it so much more too. I hate that we have to try on these expensive gowns in the wrong size and that we only have an idea of what our gowns will look like on our wedding day!

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. You ladies have the best perspective! (my FI thanks you too. I''m driving him nuts with this dress stuff.)

 

[Rhea]

I found it was impossible to stop looking. When you walk into the bridal shop for fitting - dresses. When you go with your bridesmaids to look at their dresses - dresses! When you flip through your photographer''s portfolio - Dresses!! When you visit florist, reception sites, florists their portfolio all have brides with - DRESSES!!

It''s a conspiracy.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Acutally, the dress you bought would be quite lovely for an outdoor spring wedding if you ask me!

 

[marchswallowbird]

I think your dress will be beautiful for a spring wedding also. And so what if the bridal store thinks you are "strange" for wanting to try the dress again? First of all, I bet they won''t think that at all. Second of all, they probably have brides coming in to do it all the time. Third, you are spending a SIGNIFICANT amount of $$ on this dress, and if they are customer service oriented AT ALL they won''t mind you doing it at all. Bottom line: YOU are the customer, they should cater to your needs.

 

[violet3]

Date: 5/3/2009 10:55:58 AM
Author:House Cat
I think I may have bought my wedding dress too early! I guess I was just excited about the whole process, but now I am having some serious regrets. I had no idea that all of the bridal magazine ads would get to me like this. The other catch is that I bought my dress for a different kind of wedding. Originally, we were going to have an indoor, winter wedding. Now, we''re having an outdoor, spring wedding.

I really don''t know what to do. My wedding is a year away and I know that I am going to see many, MANY gowns during that time. Should I just wait for my gown to come in and then try and sell it if I find another? Should I try and call the bridal shop and switch my order, because one of the gowns I''m currently coveting is La Sposa, and it is the same brand as my original dress? The other two gowns I am considering are Melissa Sweet gowns, so switching my order would be irrelevant at that point.

Should I just wait a while and shop again in a few months?

Here is a photo of the dress I''ve ordered:

Housecat, i replied earlier but it ate my post - i really love the dress you bought, and while i agree that dresses don''t really have "seasons," i would actually lean toward a more springy outdoorsy wedding with your first dress choice than with the second. It''s a beautiful dress - really!

 

[House Cat]

They WILL think I'm strange because, well, they already do! Long story short...I was there four times before I ordered this dress. They're a small shop, but they have the largest Pronovias/La Sposa/San Patrick Selection in town. I really had to try on a lot of dresses to make sure I was happy. I'm sure they thought I would never decide on just one. I guess I would be fulfilling the role if I called to change my order.

The only thing I worry about with my dress is the fact that I will be outdoors and the train is rather long. I'm not sure I would have chosen this dress with this train length if I knew I would be walking around outside on gravel and in the dirt (there's a vineyard,) and on grass. I also ordered it hollow to hem so that I can wear really high heels, and now, knowing this different environment, I'm feeling that is a mistake too!

Ahh well, other brides have outdoor weddings, while wearing long trains and high heels, right?

ETA: Thank you EVERYONE for the compliments on my dress. This has helped immensely!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 5/4/2009 5:32:59 PM
Author: House Cat
They WILL think I''m strange because, well, they already do! Long story short...I was there four times before I ordered this dress. They''re a small shop, but they have the largest Pronovias/La Sposa/San Patrick Selection in town. I really had to try on a lot of dresses to make sure I was happy. I''m sure they thought I would never decide on just one. I guess I would be fulfilling the role if I called to change my order.

The only thing I worry about with my dress is the fact that I will be outdoors and the train is rather long. I''m not sure I would have chosen this dress with this train length if I knew I would be walking around outside on gravel and in the dirt (there''s a vineyard,) and on grass. I also ordered it hollow to hem so that I can wear really high heels, and now, knowing this different environment, I''m feeling that is a mistake too!


Ahh well, other brides have outdoor weddings, while wearing long trains and high heels, right?


ETA: Thank you EVERYONE for the compliments on my dress. This has helped immensely!

Sweetie, breath. That''s what a seamstress is for. She will be able to help with the length and/or put in a bustle to shorten the train. It''s really a stunning dress and I actually prefer it to the other one. It''s so soft and romantic, I think it will be perfect for your day.

 

[Rhea]

Yes, we have done for train, outside, and heels. Worse comes to worse, you bustle or make a wrist loop for the train, and laugh if your heel sinks into something. Laughing makes for great photos. Just practice ahead of time with the walking in heels!

 

[redfaerythinker]

I agree with everyone else. Your dress is gorgeous. It actually looks very spring like to me. I would also go back and try it on again. I think it will help convince you that it''s perfect. Also... whenever I have doubts about my dress, I just sit and think a moment. I try to remind myself just what it was about my dress that I fell in love with. Then I pick apart the other dress and find flaws in it, so that my perfect dress wins in the end. Hey, works for me!