Wedding dress shopping - friends and mom far away

[regalada]

Hello:

The reality of how far away I live from my loved ones is hitting me this week as I start contemplating the idea of dress shopping. I have lived in my area for less than 3 years during which my only friends are a few girls from work. My two closest girlfriends are back home, one expensive flight over the ocean away. My mom is half a country away.

I am getting sad and worried about the idea of shopping for dresses without them. Other than my fiance, my two girlfriends and mom are the ones that I trust the most to tell me what fits right or doesn''t fit. Two of my friends from work have volunteered to go with me but somehow I can''t warm up to the idea. I think it would be strange not to be doing this with my old friends or my mom and instead with people who don''t know me as well.

Should I just go with my work friends and try to make the best of it? Anybody has had this experience and care to share? I''m a bit down and feel guilty about being down when I should be ecstatic about dress shopping.

Thanks,
Regalada

 

[LollyBear]

Sorry to hear that you're feeling down. I understand how important it is to have someone you love and trust to help you decide on something as important as your dress. How far away do your friends & family live? Are any of them due for a visit? If it's not too big a journey, they might be willing to come help, no?
Otherwise, I would definitely take my co-worker up on the offer. So they may not know you as well as your family, but they are friends and wouldn't steer you wrong. You have known them for 3 years after all. I've been at my current job for 5+ yrs and I trust my friends here as much as I do the ones I've known twice as long. Maybe this can be a bonding experience.
Unless you want your FI to be surprised, you could always take him with you too.
Whatever you decide to do, try and focus on the positive.
Hope you feel better soon.

 

[saturn]

I''m in a similar situation. My family and closest friends are far away, and I only have a few friends here.
What I''ve decided to do is to go shopping here, with whoever will go with me, and try stuff on. Since I have no idea what I want, those trips will help me narrow down the choices. Then, the next time I go home, I can go with my mom and sister and make the final decision. As most everyone here will tell you, it can take a number of dress-hunting trips to finally find "The One."

So I would recommend going to look now, but think of the trip as a "scouting" mission. That might make it a little less sad for you. Hopefully you can go visit your mom or your old friends sometime soon, and then you can show them all the dresses that you have liked, and get their opinion before you have to make the final decision.

In my little dress-hunting experience, the staff at the bridal shops are often very nice and will also give you their opinions. It''s usually not that hard to tell which dresses work or don''t work for you.

 

[drk]

I went wedding dress shopping on my own too. My Mum lives 2 hours away, so she _could_ have come to have a look with me, but I went on a scouting mission on my own one day and found the dress for me. I didn''t intend to buy in the first store I went to, but I''m 6 feet tall and had a 3 month timeline to buy a dress before the wedding, so I figured my options were limited. I basically needed an off-the-rack dress that was long enough for me. I happened to find a gorgeous silk dress on sale for 25% of its original price, and decided to snap it up. Didn''t even need any alterations.

The salesladies were very helpful, and I was almost glad to be able to pick something out without anyone else trying to talk me into getting something that was more their taste. I didn''t have too much trouble seeing what worked with my body and what didn''t. I didn''t ask if I could take photos, but I managed to sneak some shots of my favourite dresses, and emailed them to my Mum and friends to see if they thought I''d made the right choice.

I managed to go shoe and underwear shopping with Mum when she came for a visit shortly before the wedding, which I really enjoyed.

I hope you manage to find an option that works for you. You definitely can''t go wrong checking out what styles are out there and which look good on you either by yourself or with your friends from work. If you find "the one" while you''re at it, snap it up and go shopping for your accessories with your Mom and friends.

Good luck!

 

[regalada]

Thanks for your replies. I decided to go with the girls from work just to see what''s out there. They are both married, one of them a year and a half ago, so they know the drill and will be helpful since I''m still clueless about all this.

Thanks!

 

[glaucomflecken]

hey!

my family lives 4 hrs away and my fiance about 8! i am all alone where i live too with a few coworkers i am close too. with my work schedule its hard to see my fam and mom a lot so I have been on my own a lot too planning my wedding. It actually bothered MOM more that she wasnt here to dress shop with me than I was. She wants to feel part of the planning since i am her first child to get married. I prefer to shop alone for things, because I get very irritated easily and I start second guessing myself when i shop with others. but I know how you feel.

I am glad that you decided to go with some friends, at least browse the racks and things like that to get ideas. One thing that helps my mom feel included and I feel my family is part of my wedding prep is I always try to find pictures of things i like online, flowers, shoes, etc, and then email to everyone as a group discussion as to their opinions on things.

best of luck and have fun!

 

[qtiekiki]

My mom and sisters are 4 hrs away too. My first dress shopping trip was with my FI. The second time was with my mom, sister, dad and FI when I went home. The final time was with my FI and BM. Everyone have different favorites and in the end I went with the one I loved. I guess I am trying to say that it''s great to have someone there for support, but you will probably get different opinions (due to everyone''s different styles) that can be confusing to you.

I agree with the above post that you should take pictures of things and ask for opinions through emails. It''s working great for me and everyone feel included.

I hope you feel better. I know it''s hard to not have your closest family and friends around during planning, but we have to make the best of it and us pricescope girls are always here to listen and give opinions if you need.

 

[regalada]

Qtiekiki, so you went with your fiance? Mine has been asking to go with me but I have been refusing. I was hoping to keep the dress a surprise but given my situation, I have been contemplating giving in to his begging and letting him come with me at least to the initial rounds. We have already thrown tradition out the window for other things so it would not be out of character

...

 

[aosyp613]

I was totally in the same situation with all of my family living 12 hours away, and only a few friends from work that I might consider asking to go dress shopping. Pathetic as it was, I had my fiance take me and pick me up when I was done (it was an hour and a half away) and I still had a blast. It wasn''t the same as when I finally made it home to go shopping with my mom and MOH, but I just had to get it out of my system. It''s fun to see what looks good on you and what style you prefer. It forced me to really think about what I like, as opposed to hearing just what my loved ones think. Good luck!

 

[flopkins]

regalada- my FI also went w/me to go dress shopping, bc he was feeling so sad about being left out. my mom was 7 hrs away, she came up once, i went home once to try on dresses w/her after I had already made some preliminary trips w/my bm...

like qtekiki said, sometimes having just a few ppl go w/you is better, bc everyone opinion will be diferent. it ended up my FI liked one dress, my mom liked the more expensive one, i ended up going w/the one my mom liked, mainly bc I like that one better too, but also bc my mom said she''d pay the difference for the more expensive one!

so for me, FI kinda threw a wrench in the whole thing, but in the end, he was like, whatever, just do what you want!

 

[rms]

I totally understand how you feel. I live on the opposite coast as my family, and my mom passed away a few years ago. So here I was last year totally nervous about going dress shopping and I really felt like I had no one to go with. I have several good friends around me but I just didn't feel good about asking them to go shopping with me for dresses (for various reasons). I KNOW that if I had asked some of them that they would have been helpful and more than happy to go, but even so something about it just didn't give the same feeling as if it had been my mom or aunts or childhood friends. Heck, I would even have loved to go with my dad, since he works in the clothing business.....hehe

Anyway, so I shopped a lot online to see what I liked, then made appointments at the bridal shops and headed out solo. The sales lady at the very first shop was awesome and she gave great opinions and in fact it was because of her that I found the dress that I loved, a dress I never would have bought from the model pic. I tried about 40 dresses on at a few other shops and still went back to the first one in the end. Ultimately it was a lot of fun even though I was on my own.

So going with your co-workers sounds great, I am sure you will enjoy it. If you have to go back, whether with local friends again, on your own, with family who visits you later, or whatever the case may be, just have fun. And make sure you keep us posted on what dress you pick and send pictures!!! Good luck.

 

[regalada]

Thank you all, it''s good to hear about your similar experiences.

I think I''ll take my FI at least on one of the shopping trips. He is feeling left out like Flopkin''s fiance and, since we won''t be making any other major arrangements for a while, it will be something to get him excited about planning.

Again, thanks all for sharing