Wedding Food

[AmberWaves]

I''m wondering what everyone else is doing/has done... did you serve one entree (fish, chicken, meat) or give people a choice? We''re trying to save money, and not have optons for the entree. Plus, because I don''t eat red meat, and am allergic to citrus (a lot of fish marinades and sauces have lemon or orange) that really narrows it down. So, would it be very passe if I have only one entree (chicken or fish) with several varied sides?

 

[E B]

We're having a mexican food buffet! Elegant? No. Tasty and fun? Yes! Mexican food is our absolute favorite.

Date: 2/10/2006 2:40:35 PM
Author:AmberWaves
So, would it be very passe if I have only one entree (chicken or fish) with several varied sides?

I think that's fine. You could actually have both with several varied sides. If you choose just one, go with chicken. Not everybody likes fish.

 

[selflove]

We are choosing a combo dish: flat-iron steak with shitake mushroom sauce and salmon with piccatta sauce. So they don''t get a choice, but there will be two choices on their plate. This is the same price as any of the other menu choices ($36pp)where there is just one main meat/fish. Rice pilaf and seasonal veggies will be on the side.

In your case, I would go with chicken over fish, as people seem to be more picky about fish. Can you go with chicken and a vegetarian choice?

Maybe consider serving some good appetizers also if you want to lessen the main meal variety/cost. We are having passed hors d''oevres of crab cakes, chicken satay, spanikopita and stuffed mushrooms.

 

[AmberWaves]

Selflove, I wanna go to your wedding! I lOVE stuffed mushrooms, and spanokopita (I make it with my dad). If you don''t mind me asking, where is your reception? 36pp is a lot cheaper that what I''ve heard.. EBree, I was also thinking of the mexican buffet, since we ARE mexican (I''m half). We were really thinking of a brunch type of thing... And I was also thinking of chicken, since I''m a lot less picky about chicken than I am fish. It''s so funny because I went to a wedding in Westlake, and the food was a combo dish, but it was filet minon and something else I couldn''t eat.

They did have a tomato stuffed with mashed taters.

My FSIL offered to give me her tomato, as well as my boyfriends tomato.

Funny enough, my FSIL''s husband (my BF blood) was like, "Aw, that''s tough for her" when she told him, "Amber doesn''t have anything to eat!" Nice guy.

 

[saturn]

I think it''s fine to do one main dish. We''re planning on serving everyone (except the few vegetarians) a steak and chicken combo dinner.

I think that a wedding reception dinner is the etiquette equivalent of inviting guests to your house for dinner. You do your best to serve something good that everyone can eat, but you''re not obligated provide something different for each guest. You''re a hostess, not a short-order cook!

Plus, if it makes you feel better, I heard that at Donald Trump''s wedding everyone was served the same thing. So it''s not passe, it''s trendy!

 

[selflove]

Amber--I feel your pain!!!!! I was a vegetarian for 8 years and I always had similar experiences to your''s. Like also being the last one to get a meal and sometimes it was just sliced squash, zucchini, and carrots. I even went to one wedding, where the bride was vegetarian also, and the meal was the abovementioned veggies with mashed potatoes. I kept wondering why she chose such a venue for her reception--not even a decent meal for the bride, much less 1/2 the tree-hugger-animal-rights-vegetarian guests.

Our reception is at the Bluewater Grill Restaurant. We''re only having 60 guests and they have a big room overlooking the King Harbor Marina, with it''s own bar, private bathrooms, dance floor, and it fits 100 people. The food there is really good but I''m also a huge seafood fan (I converted to a fishetarian about 4 years ago). We only found one place more reasonably priced than this.

If you have a brunch, it shoudl be cheaper in two ways: probably the per person charge is less and they probably won''t have a required minimum food/beverage bill.

 

[flopkins]

we are doing a buffet so we have two choices, tri tip and mushroom ravioli... the guests can try both if they like. I think chix alone is fine depending how many of your guests are veggies... you might want to have a few veggie plates for those ppl...

 

[E B]

Date: 2/10/2006 3:18:01 PM
Author: AmberWaves
It's so funny because I went to a wedding in Westlake, and the food was a combo dish, but it was filet minon and something else I couldn't eat.

They did have a tomato stuffed with mashed taters.

My FSIL offered to give me her tomato, as well as my boyfriends tomato.

Funny enough, my FSIL's husband (my BF blood) was like, 'Aw, that's tough for her' when she told him, 'Amber doesn't have anything to eat!' Nice guy.

This is why I think it's important to have a buffet, in all honesty. With plated dishes, you'll run into situations where people aren't able or don't want to eat one/two/three of the things served, and that's a bummer. I'm one of those people, and apparently you are too (go us!

). I think it's fine to have one dish but if you want to mix it up a little, maybe you could do it two ways...you know, stuffed with cheese (chicken parmesian?) and grilled with rosemary. That might be an option.

 

[AmberWaves]

I was looking at the bluewater grill! Damn! I''m so confused..I think we''ll do one dish (chicken) and for those who don''t eat it, have some sides..

Yeah, being a "Veg" sucks sometimes. I remember, I went to Medievil Times (why can''t I spell that?) and instead of ordering the regular dinner (potato, chicken, bread, soup, and RIBS) I asked for a veggie plate. Well, it was veggies. Lukewarm barely steamed carrots, broccoli and cauliflower. With some parmesan cheese sprinkled on it. I didn''t even get the potato, bread or veggie soup!! MAN!

 

[E B]

How about chicken and a pasta dish? That way, the veggies won't feel like they're "just eating sides". But still have the sides, too.

 

[AmberWaves]

Thanks EBree, I like that idea. I think that happened to me. I was at a wedding, and they only had meat and pasta with veggies. I ended up making a pasta sandwich. It''s disgusting, I know. I had bread and noodles.. No other choice.

 

[jcrow]

this may or may not help you, but this is what we are having.

butler passed:
seafood pies
duck and tasso spring rolls
grilled portobello & chicken roulades served on baguettes

not passed:
crawfish fettucini
shrimp etouffee
seafood stuffed mushrooms
bite-sized catfish

carving station:
peppercorn encrusted grilled tenderloin served with grilled portabello mushrooms with condiments & rolls

the veggies that are attending my wedding eat seafood- which is abundant where we live, which is good.

 

[E B]

Date: 2/10/2006 4:17:55 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

OMG... Mexican food is my faaaaavorite.. Yummmmyyyy!!! We are having petite filet mingon..

Filet Mignon sounds delicious!

We''re thinking about one of Joey''s favorite mexican restaurants for the catering. Even looking at other restaurants, one thing stays the same...the price. Really, really cheap. We likes it!

 

[AmberWaves]

Gotta love that cheap food. Man, I should have my family make it- cheapest mexican food you can get- made by my aunt!!

I love the seafood idea, JCrow. And Petite Filet Mignon! I love things that are "petite"! Something at my wedding should be petite! Which brings to mind what happened yesterday: I told my mom I''m getting a corset dress, and she was like, won''t it hurt? And I told her, "Thanks to your midgety hispanic body with no hips, I''ve gotta get a corset." She said, "Yeah, that makes sense.."

 

[ivanadiamond]

We gave everyone a choice of beef tenderloin, chicken with grilled prawns or vegetarian and had everyone pick it on their RSVP card...I don''t know if it cost more doing it that way... For our cocktail hour, we kinda mixed it up, there was passed hor d''ouvres, a cheese station and a chef that made crab-cakes to order, so there was a little bit for everyone...

I am sure if you have specific food needs they can make you a special entree...then you can do whatever is most cost-effective for all your guests...

Selflove- are you talking about the Blue Water Grill in Redondo Beach? I live in Hermosa Beach if so!

 

[Jelly]

I was talking to a wedding vendor once about having 2 choices for dinner. He suggested that it is much easier on everyone (Especially YOU) to just serve one item. If you give people a choice, they often change their mind, or forget to mark one. It also adds another headache of trying to keep track of who gets what. If you know ahead of time that there are X number of vegetarians, you can set aside a separate meal for them.

They are your guests and make it easy on yourself by just serving one item. If you were inviting them over for dinner to your house, would you give them the choice of chicken or fish? No, they''d come and enjoy whatever it was you are serving.

 

[E B]

Something that might be cheaper (and more flexible) than serving just one meat with sides might be a pasta bar (with sides that go well with pasta). Different kinds of pasta, different kinds of sauce, chicken, shrimp, veggies, you name it. Skillets, olive oil, chefs behind a table preparing it in front of your guest''s eyes. People could choose what they want and have a custom pasta dish made to their tastes.

Just a thought. It might not be fancy enough for a wedding, but then again....I''d rather the food be good than fancy.

 

[selflove]

Jelly--good point-if it were at your house they''d eat what you serve! Duh!

Amber--where are you having the reception?

ivanadiamond--yup, that''s the place! Just down the street from you!! Howdy neighbor!

 

[ivanadiamond]

WOW another PS''er so close! We will have to have an LA-girls get-together!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Another S,Bay gal here! I hate to steal AW''s thread, but will do so for a minute. The L.A get-together has been set! It''s March 4th at Cozymels on Rosecrans. Check out the LIW board for more info!!

OK, back to the issue at hand. We''re doing something a bit different- an Italian meal served "family-style". It''s very appropriate for the winery wedding we''re having. A local Italian restaurant will be catering it. We''re gonna have an antipasto display during the cocktail reception. Salad will already be on the tables when the guests enter the tasting room area where we''re having the reception. Midway through the salad, servers will place platters of entrees on each table. I think we''re gonna have a chicken dish, ravioli, and vegetable risotto. Italian food is our favorite!

 

[AmberWaves]

I love the family style idea! As far as I know, the only veggies in the family are my dad and I. So the old man can eat chicken (he does, I''m not being a grouch!!). I really like the way Jelly said it about if it were my home they''d eat what I give them. Funny thing, I actually had a dinner with my close family (Dad, BF, Mom and Brother) and got two dishes. Yes, I bought them at Costco.

I also like the pasta bar. Self love, I am still trying to find a place. Now that we''ve changed our date to November, I want it to be indoors, where I can have a dance floor, and enough space for up to 100 people. I was looking at Tivoli Terrace/Gardens (EBree was that right? I think you corrected me once) in Laguna Beach. Then we were thinking of a boat cruise wedding (but one FSIL said, Oh, don''t have it on a boat... Yeah, easy for her to say- GD Millionaire), because a lot is all inclusive (including photog. and music), but we are doing this all on our own, so we''re trying to save money.. Which is the reason for a brunch (have I mentioned i''m not a morning person?

). We''re trying to pin it all down, while still waiting for the stone in my ring to be bought!!!

 

[ellewoods]

Hi Amber.

I am not engaged yet, so haven''t had my own wedding to share my experiences from, but I''ve attended many weddings so I thought I''d give my thoughts.

One of my good college friends got married in an extravagent, elegant, beautiful wedding at a Four Seasons on the beach in California. Everything was top notch. When it came to dinner, all of the guests were served the same thing -- an appetizer, a beautiful salad, and the same entree -- halibut. It was delicious. Done wonderfully and everyone loved it. There was no choice of entree, and I heard no complaints at all (and this was a 300 person wedding). I happen to love fish, so I was happy, but I did wonder whether there were any problems, since not everyone likes fish, and then not everyone who likes fish, likes halibut. But it worked perfectly, definitely cut down on the hassle and confusion of giving people a choice.

At another good friend''s wedding the sit down dinner included a piece of chicken (stuffed with spinach and cheese) AND a piece of filet mignon. That seemed to work perfectly as well, as it seemed most people liked both and ate both, or liked one and were able to eat one and leave the other. Of course I like chicken and beef, but my boyfriend happens to love anything that''s protein so he got most of my filet.

I believe I swiped his salad, which was amazing, and which I love.

A family friend was married in a 400 person wedding (I am not exaggerating!) in Napa Valley. It was a September wedding, done in deep reds, and really beautiful and elegant. There was a choice given in the invitations of prime rib or salmon. I usually would opt for salmon, but I thought it would be a nice chance to have prime rib since I rarely cook beef at home. The food was very good for the most part, but when I got my prime rib, it was totally charred, shriveled up, bad. I just thought I had bad luck. But others at my table got similar pieces. The salmon looked great. My boyfriend''s prime rib was great, as were a few others, but dinner seemed very hectic and confusing trying to serve everyone the different entrees. Some of the salmons were served first, then a long wait, then a couple prime ribs, then more waiting, then the last prime ribs. Seemed like a hassle for the servers.

I''ve been to 1 buffet wedding that was done very nice, as well as some others, but I won''t go into more detail. From my experiences, I''ve decided that I will definitely be serving only 1 entree -- and I would consider fish for sure, after seeing the halibut go over so well. I would like to also do an appetizer of some sort and a salad, have various side dishes, provide bread if it goes with the meal, etc. I just think things seem to go smoother when everyone is served the same thing. If there are any family members or guests who have serious dietary concerns that I need to adjust for, then I would do something like have a vegetarian pasta dish ready for those people if absolutely necessary. But I don''t want to provide a zillion options for guests just because somebody "doesn''t like fish" or "is really picky about their beef" or "is on a diet."

I don''t intend to be insensitive to the guest''s needs, and I certainly don''t want any vegetarians to go hungry, but I strongly agree with the idea that a wedding reception is akin to inviting people to your home for dinner, and it is entirely appropriate to serve just 1 choice of entree.

If I have a destination wedding, which I would prefer for myself, a buffet style dinner may be more appropriate in any case.

Another good college friend of mine did a destination wedding in Mexico....there were about 180 people there. It was amazing, the best food ever, and I would love to do something similar. For dinner, there were light hors d''oeuvres and cocktails before dinner, a served salad, and then a wedding feast -- done buffet style -- and the food was just incredible, roasted meats, roast chicken, tons of grilled fresh seafood (fish, shrimp, lobster), several vegetable dishes, 1 or 2 traditional mexican dishes like tamales....all with mexican accents and spices. It was perfect for the location and festive atmosphere. It was still a semi-formal wedding, and everything was done elegantly but with a relaxed vibe. I will remember that wedding forever!

With all of that being said, I definitely believe that a wedding is about the couple and them starting their lives together. I am honored to attend a wedding when I am invited, and I will be a gracious guest and appreciate all of the time and effort and expense they spend on whatever meal, drinks, etc. are given. So if your heart is set on 1 entree, or 2 entrees side by side, or giving guests a choice of entrees, or a buffet style, or a vegetarian-only meal, or a fish entree, or a beef entree......well do what you want the most, its your wedding.

Most guests will be appreciative with whatever you serve and be happy to share in your day.

 

[MelissaSue]

We are having a combo plate of chicken and filet mignon, because the caterer doesn''t "Recommend" that we do a choice of entree and its also cheaper..
But honestly.. if you just had some sort of chicken dish.. pretty much everyone would be happy with it.

 

[monarch64]

Elle, you have the most insightful, sweet posts! I love reading your thoughts.

I have been to so many completely different styles of weddings in the past 2 years that I feel I have been exposed to as many different styles that exist! Standouts in my mind have been, from bad to good:

Sit down dinner with bland chicken (300 guests), to intimate, small tables of 4 (200 guests) with petite filets and chicken (even though I''m veg the veggies, salad, and breads were outstanding), to in between--southern style fried buffet consisting of crab rangoons, chicken fingers, onion rings, hush puppies, etc. My only complaint with the southern style was that it wasn''t a sit down meal at any point--we had to fight for a seat, period, with or without a tall table!

Just another one of my .02''s.

 

[Faerievert]

I went for a buffet, and I highly recommend that route. My menu (for about $16/person plus $300ish for the chocolate fountain and $75 for a bartender, but it''s in Kentucky):

We will have a delicious buffet of roast pork loin with mashed potatoes and gravy, meat lasagna, mixed vegetables, spinach salad with a variety of dressings, and dinner rolls. Chicken fingers and Mac ''n Cheese will be available in the adjacent children''s room in case of picky eaters (please let us know how many children you have who would be interested in this). Dessert will include a variety of dessert bars and a chocolate fountain with delectable dippers (angelfood cake, oreos, rice krispie treats, pretzels, and stawberries).
A cash bar and free champaign punch will be available for guests of legal age after the ceremony. All are welcome to enjoy the complimentary Coke products and coffee.


The caterer just asked us what we wanted, so we picked our favorites (the mixed veggies will include those cute little chinese baby corn cobs, cuz FH just loves them!). We even had our pick of salad dressings (ranch, thousand island, and french or raspberry vinegarette- I forget which we went for now!). The caterer is in-house for the zoo, so he gives a better rate than outsiders who have to pay the zoo an extra fee, but that $16 includes the dessert bars, champaign punch, and gratuity! Getting a caterer who so literally will cater to your needs is wonderful. No matter what your needs are, you can get them covered. I don''t think we have any vegetarians coming (none in his family, none in mine, can''t think of any friends coming who are), but if we''d had people who would care I would have gone for veggie lasagna instead. I still might make that switch just because I like it

 

[cpster]

I think it's absolutely okay to serve one entree type at your reception. It sounds like you have a good idea of any special needs (you are your dad being vegetarians). If you wind up booking a place the is normally a restraunt, please, please, please order you and your dad something yummy off of the normal menu. It's your wedding and you should have a memorable meal!

I personally love buffets and food stations. For a wedding your size it's a great idea. I don't like buffets for weddings over 100 people because some guests have to wait forever to get to the food. Stations work great since they are spread around the room. Guests can go to whatever station they want. Buffets and food stations keep things interesting too since people are moving around.

Whatever you do, I'm sure it will be beautiful. Just promise that you will actually sit long enough to eat your meal! I've actually worked in the wedding industry as a photographer and I've seen brides and grooms take literally just a few bites of their meals before making the rounds going from table to table. After seeing this so many times, I started encouraging my couples to plan for time to enjoy their meal.

We did a buffet at our small wedding and it worked out great. BTW, is you fur baby a Shih Tzu? Very cute.

Good luck!

 

[AmberWaves]

Thanks for your help everyone! I''m deciding on chicken (but who knows, maybe next week it''ll be salmon!!) for right now. It''s funny, I''m actually the pickiest person in the family (his and mine) including the children.

This is going to be so hard to choose!!

 

[sydneycasandra]

Although I realize we are all grateful to be celebrating with the newlyweds on their special day and we''re not coming just to eat...

it''s REALLY hard when you go to a wedding or other special event and there is absolutely nothing to eat. You''re there for several hours, starving to death, and it is first of all a bit awkward when people ask you "how come you''re not eating", and a bit impolite to bring your own snacks! Some vegetarians do not eat meals that have been prepared on the same plate as meat (also, something rings a bell about there being some kosher etiquette questions on here a couple days ago...) and basically are stuck with rolls in front of them. It''s really difficult all around, and while I agree you shouldn''t cater to your guests every whim, it seems the gracious thing to do to have a reasonable option for vegetarians.

Also, you may want to clear with your caterer what you mean by "vegetarian"- from my experience, many people think this just means "no beef" and I have actually been given chicken salad before as my "vegetarian" choice.

Good luck!

 

[cinnabar]

Date: 2/13/2006 1:46:56 PM
Author: sydneycasandra

Also, you may want to clear with your caterer what you mean by ''vegetarian''- from my experience, many people think this just means ''no beef'' and I have actually been given chicken salad before as my ''vegetarian'' choice.

Reminds me of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, where the bride tells her family that her fiance is a vegetarian, and one of the Greek women says "Oh, that''s OK, I''ll do lamb then."


As a non-meat eater myself, I sympathise with anyone who''s ever been to a meat fest wedding and starved. There''s a notion in a lot of people''s minds that "everyone eats chicken", and maybe they did 30 years ago but it''s not true today.

There are only three things I really don''t like: meat, celery and bell peppers. Even if I can get a meal with no meat, the chances of it containing one of the other things makes eating at a "one-meat-entree-plus-vegetarian-alternative" venue something I don''t look forward to.

I don''t think it is like being invited to eat at someone''s house and having to accept whatever they serve you; I always ask dinner guests if they have any preferences or allergies or whatever, and the last time we had a girl who just didn''t like mushrooms so I made sure I cooked something with no mushrooms. Catering for six or eight isn''t the same as catering for 100, you can be more accommodating in your own home.

 

[AmberWaves]

Thank you for your suggestions, and after not eating meat since I was born that the "same plate as meat" is absolutely not an option. I''ve been in instances where there was only pepperoni pizza, and they told me to "pick off the pepperoni, it''s fine". No it is NOT fine. I know that even though I eat chicken now, I''m still not having any meats touching, or plated. It''s disgusting to me. I wouldn''t have something at my wedding that I wouldn''t want to see or eat. Which is why I''m thinking chicken, and a veggie pasta dish. I am 99.99% positive the only non-red meat eaters are my father and I, and my cousin, who will only eat fish or pasta. So, that''s slightly comforting.