Wedding Wants

[boysenberry]

That brings up another point - cost and who's paying is also something I haven't seriously thought about. Do people still do the traditional bride's family pays kind of thing? I find that very outdated and unnecessary. I know my parents would be willing to pay, but then I would feel more self conscious about how much I spend on everything (versus if it was my own money). In the end I would probably suggest splitting things (and perhaps with SO and/or his family as well) but the exact arrangements are not something I've considered...

 

[audball]

I'm fairly certain we'll forgo a bridal party too if we have some type of ceremony with guests.

 

[madelise]

That brings up another point - cost and who's paying is also something I haven't seriously thought about. Do people still do the traditional bride's family pays kind of thing? I find that very outdated and unnecessary. I know my parents would be willing to pay, but then I would feel more self conscious about how much I spend on everything (versus if it was my own money). In the end I would probably suggest splitting things (and perhaps with SO and/or his family as well) but the exact arrangements are not something I've considered...

Tradition schmadition. Whoever wants to pay, pays. If the family offers to pay, that's one thing. They shouldn't be obligated to, especially in such a poopy economic time. If the bride's family tradition was still upheld, we'd have no wedding here! Cus my family sure as heck has nothing to offer, and I am not about to go knocking on my grandparents' doors! haha. Can you imagine?

The trouble, though, is "whoever pays gets the final say" crap. If someone puts in 10k for the wedding, they're going to want you to consider their wants. FMIL wants to foot the bill, but also wants to invite her coworkers when you have a strict less than 100 people event? Too bad, she's paying, and she'll use that as leverage.

I've read a few times on WB and in our BWW about brides who've had scuffles between wedding planning and the parties that are paying for it. If you can afford to do it yourself with your SO, by all means, do it. That way you can plan it 100% the way you want it planned, and no one will be pulling any invisible strings. If you can't, like I can't, then be prepared to give up a few of your wedding wants.. like my booze! Hehe. If both sets of parents are paying, then expect them to possibly duke it out if they have different preferences.

These are all things to keep in mind when saying yes or no to parents offering to pay.. Make hard rules about certain absolute musts (mine is that we do not invite anyone that SO or I do not know; I don't give a rat's behind for FMIL and FFIL's distant relatives that they haven't seen for 10 years), and have soft rules that you'd be able to swallow if they want to bend (booze, colors, whatever). Graciously accept, but let them know it doesn't mean that you and your SO are their puppets because of the money. They can have some say, but they can't run the show. Create boundaries.

Who the hell has fun wedding planning? These thoughts are so damned depressing!! And here I thought wedding planning meant pinning pretty pictures to my Pinterest board




I just can't believe how flippin expensive weddings are.

 

[antiquesparkler]

Fun topic!

Luckily, SO and I are on the same page about our tiny intimate beach wedding... and by beach I mean a lake in one of our favorite towns/ camping spots.

We plan to do a small non-religious ceremony with our closest family and friends (I would guess around 30 guests) and then dinner at a cute restaurant on the water. It’s about 45 minutes from my hometown and about 2 hours from his so it seems like an okay ‘middle spot’ for people.

Then a few weeks or months later (I would like to have all the pictures from the ceremony back too!)… we will have a big BBQ at my parent’s house with closer to 80 guests to celebrate our marriage. Nothing fancy. I am picturing a tent, lots of mason jars with pretty summery flowers like peonies, simple color scheme of black, white, and light pink… We might wear our wedding attire for a while but mostly- I want us to be comfortable. I am thinking cute white sundress for me and a suit for him.

I haven’t thought about attendants… maybe just his brother and my sister just to keep it simple and keep people from feeling left out. Or maybe our mom’s could just sign the license.

Yeah, I haven’t thought about this at all…

You girls got me thinking about alcohol for the BBQ part. SO brews beer at home and likes ‘different’ kinds of beer so maybe we would buy a bunch of different bottled beer and when that runs out, too bad. I don’t like the idea of people getting wild and crazy but then again I can’t remember the last dry wedding I went to.

I think when the time comes I will need to keep convincing myself to do what works for us and not care what people think.

Trash the dress pictures will take place at ceremony spot… in/near the water.

 

[antiquesparkler]

That brings up another point - cost and who's paying is also something I haven't seriously thought about. Do people still do the traditional bride's family pays kind of thing? I find that very outdated and unnecessary. I know my parents would be willing to pay, but then I would feel more self conscious about how much I spend on everything (versus if it was my own money). In the end I would probably suggest splitting things (and perhaps with SO and/or his family as well) but the exact arrangements are not something I've considered...

Tradition schmadition. Whoever wants to pay, pays. If the family offers to pay, that's one thing. They shouldn't be obligated to, especially in such a poopy economic time. If the bride's family tradition was still upheld, we'd have no wedding here! Cus my family sure as heck has nothing to offer, and I am not about to go knocking on my grandparents' doors! haha. Can you imagine?

The trouble, though, is "whoever pays gets the final say" crap. If someone puts in 10k for the wedding, they're going to want you to consider their wants. FMIL wants to foot the bill, but also wants to invite her coworkers when you have a strict less than 100 people event? Too bad, she's paying, and she'll use that as leverage.

I've read a few times on WB and in our BWW about brides who've had scuffles between wedding planning and the parties that are paying for it. If you can afford to do it yourself with your SO, by all means, do it. That way you can plan it 100% the way you want it planned, and no one will be pulling any invisible strings. If you can't, like I can't, then be prepared to give up a few of your wedding wants.. like my booze! Hehe. If both sets of parents are paying, then expect them to possibly duke it out if they have different preferences.

These are all things to keep in mind when saying yes or no to parents offering to pay.. Make hard rules about certain absolute musts (mine is that we do not invite anyone that SO or I do not know; I don't give a rat's behind for FMIL and FFIL's distant relatives that they haven't seen for 10 years), and have soft rules that you'd be able to swallow if they want to bend (booze, colors, whatever). Graciously accept, but let them know it doesn't mean that you and your SO are their puppets because of the money. They can have some say, but they can't run the show. Create boundaries.

Who the hell has fun wedding planning? These thoughts are so damned depressing!! And here I thought wedding planning meant pinning pretty pictures to my Pinterest board




I just can't believe how flippin expensive weddings are.

I know, right?!

 

[Chewbacca]

cygnet and madelise - I'm in the same club re: 'part-time friends'! SO is a bit like it, too.

Thankfully he has a sister, so there's one, and I have two friends I know will do it, but deciding on two more will be hard. Anyone else ever have this problem? I mean, I do think it would be nice to have a bridal party, but I just feel so awkward about the whole thing.

I potentially have this problem. I have no good ideas as yet! Could you just have 5/3? Do you have any male friends to add to your BM list? Compromise on 3?

That brings up another point - cost and who's paying is also something I haven't seriously thought about. Do people still do the traditional bride's family pays kind of thing? I find that very outdated and unnecessary. I know my parents would be willing to pay, but then I would feel more self conscious about how much I spend on everything (versus if it was my own money). In the end I would probably suggest splitting things (and perhaps with SO and/or his family as well) but the exact arrangements are not something I've considered...

I've known a couple bride-family-financed weddings, but most seem to be paid for by the couple, or a combination of couple/parents. I would love to pay my own way, because I want all of the POWER. Realistically though, I think it'll be a group effort, as you suggest.

Meh, the drink thing will pretty much be something I have to forgo. I choose colors, I dictate food, I pick vendors.. They pay, they host, I shut up and don't b!tch about the drink thing IRL. That's what LIW is for

Understandable, I would do the same thing. Pretty sweet deal, really.


I too am horrified at the cost of weddings!!

 

[audball]

I too am horrified at the cost of weddings!!

Ditto I'm bummed at the thought.

I think if money were no object we'd be more interested in a (still small) traditional wedding vs. an elopement. I'm already dreading having to make arrangements and decisions. When it comes down to it, we flat out can't afford to throw a traditional wedding ourselves, our families aren't able to help, but I still worry people will be upset/sad/angry/{insert irrational feelings here} about us eloping.

 

[boysenberry]

I too am horrified at the cost of weddings!!

Ditto I'm bummed at the thought.

I think if money were no object we'd be more interested in a (still small) traditional wedding vs. an elopement. I'm already dreading having to make arrangements and decisions. When it comes down to it, we flat out can't afford to throw a traditional wedding ourselves, our families aren't able to help, but I still worry people will be upset/sad/angry/{insert irrational feelings here} about us eloping.

I just had a total reality check today when I decided to research some venues. The one I had in mind would be 50k for just the venue/catering WHAATT. I knew weddings were expensive but that is more than my idea of expensive! So I am realizing I will have to start making serious compromises in order to not blow all our money and our parents' money on one day. I can see why all this is stressful now - was it only a few days ago that I thought I would ENJOY wedding planning?

 

[star sparkle]

Yeah, wedding planning sucks. I'm less than two months out from my wedding, and I just want the planning to be done already! I'm not cut out for this sort of thing. I wish I could tell you that it gets better, but it doesn't.

 

[madelise]

Yeah.. I've read multiple places that the average wedding costs 30K, and that's averaging across all the states! I live in SoCA.. I'd say it's closer to 50k Venues all want about ~5K just to use their location, and on top of that, they have minimum total costs, fees for everything, licensing and insurances, blah blah blah. Worse, most locations force you to choose vendors from their very short lists. I have a caterer that said she can work with whatever budget I give her, as low as $15/per person, but it's hard to find a venue that allows other caterers.

So backyard it is.

 

[audball]

I just had a total reality check today when I decided to research some venues. The one I had in mind would be 50k for just the venue/catering WHAATT. I knew weddings were expensive but that is more than my idea of expensive! So I am realizing I will have to start making serious compromises in order to not blow all our money and our parents' money on one day. I can see why all this is stressful now - was it only a few days ago that I thought I would ENJOY wedding planning?

Seriously. It's crazy. I just want to get MARRIED. But it should be a special day? I don't want to just go to the courthouse and sign some documents. I want it to be special and NOT cost a fortune. I don't know why it has to be so hard

 

[audball]

Yeah.. I've read multiple places that the average wedding costs 30K, and that's averaging across all the states! I live in SoCA.. I'd say it's closer to 50k Venues all want about ~5K just to use their location, and on top of that, they have minimum total costs, fees for everything, licensing and insurances, blah blah blah. Worse, most locations force you to choose vendors from their very short lists. I have a caterer that said she can work with whatever budget I give her, as low as $15/per person, but it's hard to find a venue that allows other caterers.

So backyard it is.

Agreed! I found some places where we could swing the venue rental, but it requires so many people (we just want less than 20!), or so much in food costs, don't allow outside food/drinks. Ugh. Or little B&Bs that require you rent out the WHOLE house in order to use it? It's just so much.

 

[boysenberry]

Yeah.. I've read multiple places that the average wedding costs 30K, and that's averaging across all the states! I live in SoCA.. I'd say it's closer to 50k Venues all want about ~5K just to use their location, and on top of that, they have minimum total costs, fees for everything, licensing and insurances, blah blah blah. Worse, most locations force you to choose vendors from their very short lists. I have a caterer that said she can work with whatever budget I give her, as low as $15/per person, but it's hard to find a venue that allows other caterers.

So backyard it is.

Yea exactly, venue prices are astronomical in NYC area, and most of them have "exclusive caterers." At least you have a backyard! I do want friends and family at my wedding but when you start thinking of each of them as costing you $200+ bucks, you realize you don't need that many friends :p (Kidding, mostly, but I have realized I need to be more discerning about the guest list)

 

[star sparkle]

Agreed! I found some places where we could swing the venue rental, but it requires so many people (we just want less than 20!), or so much in food costs, don't allow outside food/drinks. Ugh. Or little B&Bs that require you rent out the WHOLE house in order to use it? It's just so much.

HUGS!! Keep your chin up!

You know my vision was/is the same as yours, and I struggled with the exact same issues. Look into the wedding off-season, you might find some great deals. The venue we ended up choosing charges EIGHT TIMES more than what we're paying just as a venue fee during the summer wedding months. Places may also offer you something different if you explain your desire for an intimate event, but you have to ask.

My venue's website only lists stuff for 100+ people, but had a tiny footnote that said "Contact us for parties of 25 or less." So we did, and voila! It's a place I never thought we'd be able to afford, but turns out we can because our event is so small.

 

[audball]

Agreed! I found some places where we could swing the venue rental, but it requires so many people (we just want less than 20!), or so much in food costs, don't allow outside food/drinks. Ugh. Or little B&Bs that require you rent out the WHOLE house in order to use it? It's just so much.

HUGS!! Keep your chin up!

You know my vision was/is the same as yours, and I struggled with the exact same issues. Look into the wedding off-season, you might find some great deals. The venue we ended up choosing charges EIGHT TIMES more than what we're paying just as a venue fee during the summer wedding months. Places may also offer you something different if you explain your desire for an intimate event, but you have to ask.

My venue's website only lists stuff for 100+ people, but had a tiny footnote that said "Contact us for parties of 25 or less." So we did, and voila! It's a place I never thought we'd be able to afford, but turns out we can because our event is so small.

Thanks. Your wedding is what I'd love to be able to pull off, it's just so dang frustrating. Most of the places I've been able to find that will accomodate a small group are very NOT us (ie: beachy, or outdoor). Weather in FL is too unpredictable 99% of the year that I don't think I'd be willing to chance it. Beautiful, intimate, indoor venues that we can afford have (so far) not been found

I hate that we're not even engaged yet and I'm already incredibly stressed out about what the wedding itself will entail.

 

[Chewbacca]

The one I had in mind would be 50k for just the venue/catering.

Yeah.. I've read multiple places that the average wedding costs 30K, and that's averaging across all the states! I live in SoCA.. I'd say it's closer to 50k.

 

[madelise]

The one I had in mind would be 50k for just the venue/catering.

Yeah.. I've read multiple places that the average wedding costs 30K, and that's averaging across all the states! I live in SoCA.. I'd say it's closer to 50k.

Yeah, tell me about it. But cost of living here is just up the @$$ high.

 

[Chewbacca]

The one I had in mind would be 50k for just the venue/catering.

Yeah.. I've read multiple places that the average wedding costs 30K, and that's averaging across all the states! I live in SoCA.. I'd say it's closer to 50k.

Yeah, tell me about it. But cost of living here is just up the @$$ high.

I about fell off my chair re: 50k venue/catering! Whats in the food, GOLD?! Insane. Pardon my asking, but what are home rental prices like in these towns?

 

[pandabee]

I just had a total reality check today when I decided to research some venues. The one I had in mind would be 50k for just the venue/catering WHAATT. I knew weddings were expensive but that is more than my idea of expensive! So I am realizing I will have to start making serious compromises in order to not blow all our money and our parents' money on one day. I can see why all this is stressful now - was it only a few days ago that I thought I would ENJOY wedding planning?

Seriously. It's crazy. I just want to get MARRIED. But it should be a special day? I don't want to just go to the courthouse and sign some documents. I want it to be special and NOT cost a fortune. I don't know why it has to be so hard

These are my exact thoughts!!!! I want it to be pretty and memorable. But I do *NOT* want to be spending a lot of money on a one-day event...just not worth it for me! (Or for SO )

 

[madelise]

The one I had in mind would be 50k for just the venue/catering.

Yeah.. I've read multiple places that the average wedding costs 30K, and that's averaging across all the states! I live in SoCA.. I'd say it's closer to 50k.

Yeah, tell me about it. But cost of living here is just up the @$$ high.

I about fell off my chair re: 50k venue/catering! Whats in the food, GOLD?! Insane. Pardon my asking, but what are home rental prices like in these towns?

The last place SO and I stayed at was $1000 for a studio with no kitchen (one big room + bathroom), or $1700 for a one bedroom apartment with a kitchen. I paid $100/mo extra for my dog. There are cheaper ones available in the same city, but in less safe/clean areas.

SO and I were looking into properties last year, and houses seem to start at 700K for dinky small ones.

 

[pandabee]

geezy petes! 700k can get you a MANSION here!! Or a house next to the golf course!

 

[madelise]

geezy petes! 700k can get you a MANSION here!! Or a house next to the golf course!

SRS. Occasionally, yahoo front page news will have an article about "What $850K will buy you" or insert another X$.
In some areas of the states, it buys you a mansion with a huge chunk of land,
and in other areas, it gets you a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house.
I live in the latter area.



It's so crowded here that front yards and backyards are disappearing. People keep building huge @$$ houses that take up every square inch of the lot. I have seen plenty of areas where there aren't any driveways.

 

[boysenberry]

The one I had in mind would be 50k for just the venue/catering.

Yeah.. I've read multiple places that the average wedding costs 30K, and that's averaging across all the states! I live in SoCA.. I'd say it's closer to 50k.

Yeah, tell me about it. But cost of living here is just up the @$$ high.

I about fell off my chair re: 50k venue/catering! Whats in the food, GOLD?! Insane. Pardon my asking, but what are home rental prices like in these towns?

Depends on the type of apartment. Crappier old buildings with no elevator are around $2,500 to $3,000 for a one bedroom. Doorman buildings are $3,000 for a studio, $4,000 for one bedroom. Obviously depends a lot on neighborhood and size but yea it's astronomical. The rental market is insane- even when you've bitten the bullet and decide to go for the tiny apt for 3k, other people are applying for it too and the landlord may not give you the apt and now you're out $300 for application fees.

ETA: that's why most people need to have roommates. a typical thing people do is put up a temp wall and convert the living room into a bedroom. I'm glad I live with SO bc I would never be able to afford a place on my own.

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

Wow those prices are so insane re: home and apts!!!!! In my area, I live in one of the more "expensive" apts. it's 1100 sq. feet for $1090, heat and climate controlled parking garage incl for 2 cars. I already complain about how much we pay bc there are so many apts cheaper...but I think I won't complain anymore.

Naturally in these areas, you must make a lot more money?

 

[audball]

I just had a total reality check today when I decided to research some venues. The one I had in mind would be 50k for just the venue/catering WHAATT. I knew weddings were expensive but that is more than my idea of expensive! So I am realizing I will have to start making serious compromises in order to not blow all our money and our parents' money on one day. I can see why all this is stressful now - was it only a few days ago that I thought I would ENJOY wedding planning?

Seriously. It's crazy. I just want to get MARRIED. But it should be a special day? I don't want to just go to the courthouse and sign some documents. I want it to be special and NOT cost a fortune. I don't know why it has to be so hard

These are my exact thoughts!!!! I want it to be pretty and memorable. But I do *NOT* want to be spending a lot of money on a one-day event...just not worth it for me! (Or for SO )

Ditto. I have a hard time believing that I would be okay with spending that much one not just on one day, but a few hours of a single day, even if we had it to spend. There are so many other things that longer (liquid savings, house downpayment, reliable newer cars...). I honestly can't even picture wanting to spend 10k. That isn't an insignificant percentage of my total annual salary. The party just isn't important to me.

But finding the balance is going to be harder than I thought. Where's the line between running off alone and the huge party? We'd like to just invite immediately family and a few close friends (under 40 people), but it has still be next to impossible to find a place that can/will accommodate us over a larger group that is going to pay more money. And it just adds up so quickly piecing it all together separately. Attire, flowers/decor (even if minimal), photography, venue, food, ugh! How does anyone really afford it?!

Ultimately I keep coming back to the reality that we will likely elope, just the two of us because I honestly don't know if we'll ever find the middle ground at a price we can comfortably (both actually and emotionally) afford.

 

[boysenberry]

Wow those prices are so insane re: home and apts!!!!! In my area, I live in one of the more "expensive" apts. it's 1100 sq. feet for $1090, heat and climate controlled parking garage incl for 2 cars. I already complain about how much we pay bc there are so many apts cheaper...but I think I won't complain anymore.

Naturally in these areas, you must make a lot more money?

Hahaha I wish! It's more, but not proportionally more... I think it's quite normal to see people spend 50% or more of their take home income on rent. It was a point of contention at one of my jobs because we had various offices around the country, but people in the same position got paid the same. Granted other offices were in cities too but Boston and Chicago are a lot cheaper than NYC rent-wise. We complained, but they just said too bad, being able to live in NYC is a benefit in itself But yea despite the high costs, millions of people live here, so I guess it's just supply and demand!

 

[audball]

Wow, rent is cheap here in Tampa compared to your cities. We pay $690/month for an 800 square foot 1 bedroom 1 and a half bathroom condo. It's got private laundry and a reserved parking space. Water/trash/sewer are included in the rent.

 

[gem_anemone]

What we wanted out of our wedding day was to have an elegant, budget-friendly exchange of meaningful vows in front of our closest friends and family and afterwards celebrate the nuptials with a reception. We had about 150 guests although 190 were invited. We wanted a secular ceremony, in the summer, outside, preferably by water with a live musician and decorated seating and aisles. We wanted smaller sized wedding party, but after including siblings we ended up with 4 BM & 5 GM. We wanted to look our best (renting tuxes, professional makeup, hair etc). I apparently wanted an obnoxiously fabulous princess dress since that's what I discovered my heart was set on! The reception had a lot of delicious appetizers, food, great drinks (open bar), decent decorations, an inexpensive cake, budget-friendly nice looking flowers, DJ, dancing and a little entertainment. We played a cute wedding video my DH made, the MOH, BM, and FOB gave speeches and we had other cute/meaningful things for people to see there (interesting centerpieces, cake topper, favors and pictures of DH and I). We wanted professional pictures to look back on and help remember the day. Then after the wedding we wanted to go on some sort of honeymoon that would give us a few days to decompress and connect as a newly married couple that would not cost that much money and would not take too much vacation time as DH only had 5 vacation days to spare around the wedding. We learned a lot about our wants and "not-wants" and "meh's" during the planning process. We did a lot of discussing and comparing. We did not get the wedding of our dreams for our original budget, however, we feel that we did not waste too much extra money making the wedding day what it was. We were happy with everything in the end. I was a budget bride, so if any LIW or newly engaged would like any advice I would be happy to help!

 

[madelise]

Wow those prices are so insane re: home and apts!!!!! In my area, I live in one of the more "expensive" apts. it's 1100 sq. feet for $1090, heat and climate controlled parking garage incl for 2 cars. I already complain about how much we pay bc there are so many apts cheaper...but I think I won't complain anymore.

Naturally in these areas, you must make a lot more money?

Hahaha I wish! It's more, but not proportionally more... I think it's quite normal to see people spend 50% or more of their take home income on rent. It was a point of contention at one of my jobs because we had various offices around the country, but people in the same position got paid the same. Granted other offices were in cities too but Boston and Chicago are a lot cheaper than NYC rent-wise. We complained, but they just said too bad, being able to live in NYC is a benefit in itself But yea despite the high costs, millions of people live here, so I guess it's just supply and demand!

haha, NYC makes me appreciate LA prices!!

LLC: I believe there's a shift in salary here, but not enough to be proportional to the cost of living. Minimum wage here is $8, as of 2007, as an effort to get it to match the inflation.. but other salaries didn't change. I made $10/hour at my previous job that I was at for 6 years, and roughly $17 (there are pay scale differentials for different shifts, and I'm per diem) an hour at my current, but that's without any benefits or guaranteed hours at all. I think I get paid one of the most out of my friends, even some post-graduation. One of my coworkers has his bachelors and masters degrees in mathematics from USC. Starting pay at some financial firms was less than the pay at our company, so he stayed. At the job where I did hiring, most people were bachelors graduates, and they were fighting for me to hire them at a $9/hour job.

It's why there are so many multidimensional family homes here, and why most of the areas are now predominantly asian or hispanic. The caucasians have mostly moved out of my city. Asian and hispanic families usually stick in multidimensional households culturally, so they can "afford" (ugh, I can't even call it that!) to live here. The middle class white families moved away, and the rich white families never were in my "ghetto" city anyway; they live in the old money area, where the smallest houses are at least $1 mil. I'm sure I've shared this somewhere on PS before, but I live in an apartment condo building thing. Each apartment is separately owned. They are all identical: 3 bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms. Oh crap! I just checked Zillow right now, and the pricing has dropped! They're now estimated to be worth ~400K each. About a year ago, after the housing bubble already crashed, one of the apartments owners passed, and they had it up for sale. It was going for $640-something thousand. At the height of the housing bubble, I've seen it at over $800k. Anyway, sorry, I just got excited from Zillow dork. Anyway! I think we're one of the few families that actually has 4 or less people living in the 3 bed room. My neighbor on the right has 2 30 year old brothers, and their 1 25 year old + 1 18?19? year old cousins, plus two sets of parents. The apartment across from me has a young husband and wife, the husband's mother and both grandparents, and they rent the house out with random partitions everywhere. I think they have over 10 people living in their 3 bedroom. It's almost disgusting. Cross out almost, it is disgusting. It just SUCKS that people have to live like that, but they do.

It's probably a small % of reason why I was able to get such a large e-ring stone. Everyone else across America thinks, "Oh that'd be a great downpayment for a house though!", but it's a joke in our area. People buy cars, purses and jewelry, and they indulge on vacations and eating at fancy restaurants. It's no longer normal to buy homes.

So yeah. I buy myself a bunch of random sh!t to make myself feel better about our crappy lives, but it doesn't mean I'm going anywhere. None of us are.

 

[audball]

What we wanted out of our wedding day was to have an elegant, budget-friendly exchange of meaningful vows in front of our closest friends and family and afterwards celebrate the nuptials with a reception. We had about 150 guests although 190 were invited. We wanted a secular ceremony, in the summer, outside, preferably by water with a live musician and decorated seating and aisles. We wanted smaller sized wedding party, but after including siblings we ended up with 4 BM & 5 GM. We wanted to look our best (renting tuxes, professional makeup, hair etc). I apparently wanted an obnoxiously fabulous princess dress since that's what I discovered my heart was set on! The reception had a lot of delicious appetizers, food, great drinks (open bar), decent decorations, an inexpensive cake, budget-friendly nice looking flowers, DJ, dancing and a little entertainment. We played a cute wedding video my DH made, the MOH, BM, and FOB gave speeches and we had other cute/meaningful things for people to see there (interesting centerpieces, cake topper, favors and pictures of DH and I). We wanted professional pictures to look back on and help remember the day. Then after the wedding we wanted to go on some sort of honeymoon that would give us a few days to decompress and connect as a newly married couple that would not cost that much money and would not take too much vacation time as DH only had 5 vacation days to spare around the wedding. We learned a lot about our wants and "not-wants" and "meh's" during the planning process. We did a lot of discussing and comparing. We did not get the wedding of our dreams for our original budget, however, we feel that we did not waste too much extra money making the wedding day what it was. We were happy with everything in the end. I was a budget bride, so if any LIW or newly engaged would like any advice I would be happy to help!

I promise to take you up on advice on the BWW side once the ring is on my finger!