ladykemma
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2006
- Messages
- 2,194
thankfully my husband *secretly* bought into the 3 month salary thing even though he really planned/hoped to get out of it for just a couple/few thou.Date: 11/15/2006 9:12:28 AM
Author: gail013
Cheap is not buying your GF the ring she wants because it''s too exspensive to you, and then buying yourself a big screen tv with 3 remotes! I also think the amount of thought and effort has something to do with it.
I remember when we got engaged twenty some years ago, and apparently the jewelry store person told my husband-two months salary was the rule. At the time my husband was in law school and not working, so according to that rule we were in trouble. But I did love my .30 carat! I pulled it out the other day and we just remembered how big we thought that was then..... lol
Ten years later my hubbie came home with an upgraded surprise, and now I''m at it again!
on this last part I vote naahhh because these same practical men (like my husband) are fairly clueless about the quality and would assume it was like finding mustard on sale at the grocery store - or even buying generic mustard when I requested french''s. What''s the big deal over the difference? Well it''s more watery and grainy for one.... doesn''t taste the same.... but hey, he saved a quarter! woohoo!!!Date: 11/15/2006 6:26:46 AM
Author: Pyramid
Good question ladykemma
I would say, in my opinion, mmmmm, I have got stuck now. I was saying in winternight''s post that I thought men didn''t understand women''s fascination with diamonds. Her fiance had previously had a lower budget but said it was okay for her to get the other more expensive stone so I would not call that cheap (this was reflecting on their income) but I was going to say in my opinion if he had the money and you wanted it and he said no, then he was being cheap. Ofcourse, if he had the money it would also depend on what other things were needed e.g. house, transport etc.
Thinking about this from your question though, I don''t really knownow. The thing is I am thinking now well if they just don''t seem to understand our fascination then how are they being cheap, they are just being men and practical.
If a man, and I don''t know if many would do this, knows his lady wants a certain diamond and has lots of money but then when she is not there goes to another shop and gets one which looks the same but for a lot less money, or gets the dealer to put a lesser quality stone in the ring, then I think I would call that cheap? Mmmm, or is that just being devious or practical in saving money? I would call that a bit cheap.
Date: 11/15/2006 11:00:22 AM
Author: Cehrabehra
on this last part I vote naahhh because these same practical men (like my husband) are fairly clueless about the quality and would assume it was like finding mustard on sale at the grocery store - or even buying generic mustard when I requested french''s. What''s the big deal over the difference? Well it''s more watery and grainy for one.... doesn''t taste the same.... but hey, he saved a quarter! woohoo!!!Date: 11/15/2006 6:26:46 AM
Author: Pyramid
Good question ladykemma
I would say, in my opinion, mmmmm, I have got stuck now. I was saying in winternight''s post that I thought men didn''t understand women''s fascination with diamonds. Her fiance had previously had a lower budget but said it was okay for her to get the other more expensive stone so I would not call that cheap (this was reflecting on their income) but I was going to say in my opinion if he had the money and you wanted it and he said no, then he was being cheap. Ofcourse, if he had the money it would also depend on what other things were needed e.g. house, transport etc.
Thinking about this from your question though, I don''t really knownow. The thing is I am thinking now well if they just don''t seem to understand our fascination then how are they being cheap, they are just being men and practical.
If a man, and I don''t know if many would do this, knows his lady wants a certain diamond and has lots of money but then when she is not there goes to another shop and gets one which looks the same but for a lot less money, or gets the dealer to put a lesser quality stone in the ring, then I think I would call that cheap? Mmmm, or is that just being devious or practical in saving money? I would call that a bit cheap.
Date: 11/15/2006 10:15:42 AM
Author: sumbride
hmmm... Well, in this case, I think cheap is more a mindset than a price point.
Cheap would be buying the least expensive ring in the case BECAUSE it is the least expensive ring, not because it''s the perfect ring or within the budget or would make her happy. There are many many occasions when spending more isn''t better, but spending the least amount possible without putting any thought into it, that''s cheap.
With all the other "evidence" you''ve put forward ... I''d say that''s more than "cheap" ... SOCIOPATHIC, perhaps!Date: 11/15/2006 12:40:44 PM
Author: divergrrl
He went out and spent 60k CASH on a new Corvette for himself, but about 1k on her wedding set.
Date: 11/15/2006 1:48:16 PM
Author: decodelighted
Date: 11/15/2006 12:40:44 PM
Author: divergrrl
He went out and spent 60k CASH on a new Corvette for himself, but about 1k on her wedding set.
With all the other ''evidence'' you''ve put forward ... I''d say that''s more than ''cheap'' ... SOCIOPATHIC, perhaps!
Date: 11/15/2006 2:39:53 PM
Author: divergrrl
Why.....this guy....none of us know. One friend told her what she thought & she was so hurt, she said ''I chose him, he''s my husband, and if I love him, then my friends should respect my decision''. She has a point, but I get tired of watching him hurt her and destroy her life, and I get tired of watching her allow it.
DG
Date: 11/15/2006 3:00:15 PM
Author: Julian
Cheap is when he can well afford to buy A+, but chooses to buy D- because he wants to buy himself a Porsche.
I don''t hear of many men who say later, ''Boy, I REALLY REGRET splurging on her e-ring!''
What I usually hear is, ''Boy, seeing now how much joy she gets out of it... That ring more than paid for itself! SOOO WORTH IT.'' That''s what DH says every time he sees me admiring my sparklies.The joy she gets from it is priceless.
I have always LOVED that story!Date: 11/15/2006 3:00:15 PM
Author: Julian
Cheap is when he can well afford to buy A+, but chooses to buy D- because he wants to buy himself a Porsche.
Ever read The Gift of the Magi? They didn''t have to do what they did, but their selfless love for each other led her to sell her hair and him to sell his heirloom watch.
I''m not saying blow it all, baby. I''m just saying that this is probably not the best time or occasion to be overly tight.
Other times when cutting corners or being cheap can hurt more than help:
Surgery/healthcare, education for the kids & helping family. I''m sure there are tons more that I can''t think of right now!
I don''t hear of many men who say later, ''Boy, I REALLY REGRET splurging on her e-ring!''
What I usually hear is, ''Boy, seeing now how much joy she gets out of it... That ring more than paid for itself! SOOO WORTH IT.'' That''s what DH says every time he sees me admiring my sparklies.The joy she gets from it is priceless.
OMG! Is your friend''s husband my FFIL?Date: 11/15/2006 12:40:44 PM
Author: divergrrl
My best friend from college got the ''cheap'' ring from her now DH. He went out and spent 60k CASH on a new Corvette for himself, but about 1k on her wedding set. Thank God it was a pretty little set, but you had to squint to see the diamond.
For his bachelor party, he took 5 buddies on an all expenses paid trip to Cabo. She didn''t get to do anything like that (but oh I threw her a fun party & all the girls cabbed downtown & danced all night, so there!)
He is on his 4th Corvette. In the meantime, they''ve gone broke and had to downsize their home, etc. Personally, I can''t believe she puts up with this, but hey, she loves him. But I find him incredibly selfish. I mean, c''mon....its not like he was a starving student or something. He had plenty of cash (when Enron was hot...''nuff said) but chose to do the bare minimum for her while being incredibly extravagant for himself.
He also took his friends to that Richard Petty driving experience a few times...that think is like 5k per person.
She told me she loved her setting (and I do like it to, its very delicate and vintage looking, totally her) but she always wanted a 1 carat diamond. Well last year (she''s been married 5) her dad finally gave her a spare 1 carat, I2,diamond he had. It has a big black spot in it, and I''m going to take her back to the jeweler with it and have them reset it with claw prongs (it''s close to the edge) so she can flash her hand proudly. (why the jeweler didn''t cover that dang inclusion with a prong is beyond me, its totally doable!)
Anyway, that is cheap IMO.
DG