What do you do when you are hit on???

[moremoremore]

i dunno tacori...watch out for those MILF lovers at Babies R Us!
(she''s adorable btw, great new pic)

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/28/2008 7:22:53 PM
Author: thing2of2

If someone actually asks me out, I usually say ''No thanks'' or just ''No.'' I don''t say ''I can''t-I''m engaged'' or give any type of reason. I feel like I don''t need a reason to say no, and I think women are usually too nice to creeps that hit on them. So to me, if I say ''No thanks-I''m engaged'' it''s like saying ''I would if only I wasn''t engaged already.'' I''m probably weird, but that''s the way I look at it.

That is EXACTLY how I see it, thing2. I actually tried typing out a similar explanation in my earlier response but I couldn''t get it right. I totally look at it the same way.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I usually just invite the man up to my room... my hubby is about the only guy who hits on me these days!

Come to think of it, I did have a student in my undergrad class on close relationships hit on me recently. My best friend was my TA, and she noticed it too. His opening line was, "I wonder if you can tell me anything about the research showing that men are attracted to women who remind them of their mothers?"

This was accompanied by much eye contact and close talking. I am only 30, but maybe he likes the whole "dominant woman" thing... It was really funny.

Other than that I think I am in the mean girl camp and scare them away.

 

[miraclesrule]

Milf...Smilf...
Thirty is the new fifty. Fifty is the new thirty...whatever.
Bring on all the GILF''s.

Seriously though...creapy guys freak me out. So do married men. Nothing brings out the beast in me than a married man who hits on me. OMG, I can be the rudest, crudest, bring him to his knees mean when that happens.

And when I found out the guy I was dating and going on vacations with ...had a live in girlfriend....
Um, let''s just say that it was good that I was 3500 miles away. To this day, I feel sorry for his girl.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I ignore almost all guys who hit on me because ALL OF them are nearly 20 years older than I am.

Yesterday, there was a guy in the grocery store check out who kept looking back and chatting with me WHILE HIS WIFE was standing with him. I felt so bad for her. Luckily another woman behind me pointed out Lisa Marie Presley''s pregnancy photo on the front of a gossip mag, so I had an excuse to ignore that guy''s stupid comments about the slow line we were in.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/28/2008 8:03:18 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 5/28/2008 7:55:11 PM

Author: thing2of2

Date: 5/28/2008 7:46:00 PM


Author: Tacori E-ring


Well I would probably laugh hysterically and look behind me to make sure he was talking to me. Once upon a time I used to get hit on but like thing2of2 I think I gave off those negative vibes to strange men. Strangers who are women on the other hand tell me all their secrets. Kind of strange...


Take it as a compliment. I am sure 90% of them don''t mean to offend you.

Ah, another mean one-I''m not alone! And Tacori, women I don''t know at all will tell me their secrets, too! Hilarious! What is that about?!! Seriously, I''ve heard a few life stories back when I was working retail and was only ringing these women up-it''s not like I helped them with clothes for 2 hours. Ca-razy!

My SIL makes fun of me b/c she cannot believe how much women open up to me. It isn''t like I am trying. Maybe b/c I look like the girl next door

*if* we ever have a NC GTG I wonder how we would get along.

I don''t get hit on anymore but then again I don''t really leave my house much (except maybe babies R us or Target and not sure how many single guys hang out there).

That''s funny-you must have one of those faces! I will totally come to a NC GTG if it ever happens-I always wonder how I would get along with PSers if I ever meet any in person, too! I bet I''d be nervous! And apparently you would have me telling you my deepest, darkest secrets, so maybe I shouldn''t come!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/28/2008 10:36:58 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 5/28/2008 7:22:53 PM

Author: thing2of2


If someone actually asks me out, I usually say ''No thanks'' or just ''No.'' I don''t say ''I can''t-I''m engaged'' or give any type of reason. I feel like I don''t need a reason to say no, and I think women are usually too nice to creeps that hit on them. So to me, if I say ''No thanks-I''m engaged'' it''s like saying ''I would if only I wasn''t engaged already.'' I''m probably weird, but that''s the way I look at it.

That is EXACTLY how I see it, thing2. I actually tried typing out a similar explanation in my earlier response but I couldn''t get it right. I totally look at it the same way.

Yes! Most people don''t think of it like that, I don''t think. My fiance gets hit on by some bold ladies on occasion (what can I say-he''s a dreamboat!) and he always tells them he can''t go out with them because he has a girlfriend/fiance, so I always give him a hard time. I''m like "Oh-so you''d go out with them if you didn''t have the old ball and chain?!"

 

[Fancy605]

Oh Litchick, I feel your pain. When that sort of thing happens to me, I just never know how to react. I''m usually pretty quick on my feet except when it comes to the whole random stranger hitting on me thing. I usually just end up turning bright red and after a ridiculous amount of seconds of standing there being useless. I say, "Oh, I''m married." (and probably sound ridiculous doing so) Either that or if I see a, "so what would you say to going out with me sometime," coming on, I find a way to escape the situation before any invitations can be issued (oh sweet avoidance).

I think of all the responses I''ve ever heard, the one I prefer is the way one of my friends responds. Whenever she gets asked out by strangers she quickly replies, "I see you didn''t notice my amazing bling" (while flashing her amazing bling.) I''m not sure this is the safest way to go about it, but it is pretty entertaining to see her do it. The guys usually end up laughing about it as well, so I guess it works.

 

[LitigatorChick]

I dunno. I''m pretty self-conscious about things, so I guess it is more the attention that kind of bugs me. I was out a few weeks back in my front yard doing some gardening. It was hot, so I had a bikini top on with a skirt. I live in total suburbia (babies, dogs, and minivans), and a guy in a mini van drives by and whistles! What the hell!!!

And this morning (yes, at this ungodly hour) when I am off to get coffee with a co-worker, a man walks by us and says "nice shoes" (I was wearing my new CLs). Obviously not gay and obviously not interested in my shoes. I just said Thank you.

I don''t really like the "I''m married" thing - I always wear my wedding ring, so either they are blind or don''t care. Maybe I just stick with the "no thank you" to the invitations, and a "thank you" to the "compliments".

I kind of wonder whether I am dressing inappropriately??? Is a bikini top (I had the bottoms covered by a skirt) in my yard on a very hot day strange or too "hoochy". Are CLs at the office too much?? Please ladies, be honest!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Doesn''t make a difference. Ring or no, sweat pants or no, toddler in tow or no....

Begs the question, since when are men and women other than men and women?

cheers--Sharon

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/29/2008 9:53:44 AM
Author: LitigatorChick

I kind of wonder whether I am dressing inappropriately??? Is a bikini top (I had the bottoms covered by a skirt) in my yard on a very hot day strange or too ''hoochy''. Are CLs at the office too much?? Please ladies, be honest!

sure,i''ll be honest.....post some pictures !!!

 

[strmrdr]

What do you do when you are hit on???

Faint from shock

 

[LitigatorChick]

Date: 5/29/2008 11:32:39 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/29/2008 9:53:44 AM
Author: LitigatorChick

I kind of wonder whether I am dressing inappropriately??? Is a bikini top (I had the bottoms covered by a skirt) in my yard on a very hot day strange or too ''hoochy''. Are CLs at the office too much?? Please ladies, be honest!

sure,i''ll be honest.....post some pictures !!!

DF, you are naughty!!!! Are you attracted to my bikini or my income????

 

[ephemery1]

If I''m talking to a guy and sense he is being more flirty than friendly, I''ll usually make sure my wedding/e-ring are in plain sight and wave them around a bit. If he persists, I figure he''s kind of a jerk, and have no problem saying "sorry, I''m not interested" if the conversation results in some sort of invitation. If he''s a nice guy and just clueless, I''ll sometimes say "I''m married actually", to avoid making him feel totally rejected. So depends on the situation, I guess...

My friend and I were just talking the other day about how I get hit on 10 times more often when my hair looks nice... it is the funniest thing. When it''s pulled back in a ponytail, nothing. But when it''s long and straight and shiny, freshly blow-dryed, hanging halfway down my back, I''ll get multiple comments just on the way to work in the morning... and the impact is especially dramatic when I''m wearing black and my hair looks more blonde. Once when I was walking home from the hairdresser around rush-hour, a car actually plowed right into another car right there on the street beside me. Both guys got out of their cars and the one guy yelled, "If you hadn''t been looking at that girl, you could have been looking where you were going!!" I almost died of embarrassment on the spot.

 

[jas]

I''ll let you know when it happens to me.

We have some hot hot hotties here on PS, so I''m not surprised that you all are getting more than the lion''s share of attention.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/29/2008 11:42:05 AM
Author: strmrdr
What do you do when you are hit on???

Faint from shock

depending from which sex....shock if female

faint if male

 

[Aloros]

If it''s a simple comment, a smile and a "thank you" is my usual reply.

If the guy is striking up a conversation I find some way to mention my fiance.

The only ones that make me really uncomfortable are rude cat calls, men who insist they''re not trying to hit on me (but we both know they are, because it is followed by a big BUT...), men who insist on giving me things/buying something for me, and men who keep persisting after I make it plain that I am taken! Creepy!

I was stuck on a bus with a guy once who kept trying to get me to come over to his place to "listen to music" even after I made it clear that I was taken, I wasn''t very into music, I didn''t have the time...etc. I kept coming up with excuses, and he kept countering them. Take a hint already!

On the subject of strangers...I worked in a clothing store once, and a woman once dumped her baby in my arms while she looked at clothes. Nothing but "Will you hold him for a sec?" No wait for a reply.

There I was, baby in my arms, totally shell-shocked. I guess I give off a trustworthy vibe...?

 

[isaku5]

Oh, let''s see....if he''s not carrying a white cane, I thank my lucky stars for good makeup

Seriously, though, if I''m with my DH, he smiles approvingly. Is he nuts??

or just very secure??

 

[appletini]

there is co-worker that seems to think the ladies at work are a great dating pool, so me and my co-worker would always have our hands positioned on our water cups so he could see our rings, kind of like a shield/force field. However another co-worker wasn''t so lucky and had to make up an imaginary boyfriend, complete with picture on the desk to get him to leave her alone.

Some guys are just clueless though and don''t think to look for the ring.

 

[curlygirl]

This is a great topic! I get hit on a lot--I''m in a male dominated business (aren''t they all?!) so it kinda goes with the territory and I usually just end up saying some version of "thanks but no thanks" and laughing it off. I''m also maybe a bit too friendly like Diver. I was just recently at a big work function and a guy that I''ve known for years commented about how hot I was looking. Did I mention that I''m 5 months pregnant and have a one year old at home?!?!

Honestly, I think it''s funny and flattering but I''m pretty laid back about this kind of stuff. I don''t think I''ve ever let someone''s "flirtation" get to the point of being creepy. I would just cut them off immediately if that happened.

In a little bit of reverse "hitting", I was walking down the street the other day sans stroller and with my belly well covered when a GORGEOUS guy walked past me. Ok, I''m human, I stared at him. He stared right back. I walked past him and willed myself to not turn around but my curiosity got the best of me. I turned and looked and he was turned around looking at me and gave me the thumbs up. I literally laughed out loud but I have to admit, it kinda made me feel good!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/28/2008 1:46:43 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

Happens to me all the time. I usually just laugh. Except when a man at a party recently asked ''if I was with him'' (pointing to my DH) to which I answered curtly, ''yes, for over 2 decades''

.....

cheers--Sharon

hey Sharon
my wife did that one time (pointed to me). the guy replied by saying....i feel sorry for you.

 

[mom2twogirls]

Date: 5/29/2008 2:59:13 PM
Author: curlygirl
This is a great topic! I get hit on a lot--I''m in a male dominated business (aren''t they all?!) so it kinda goes with the territory and I usually just end up saying some version of ''thanks but no thanks'' and laughing it off. I''m also maybe a bit too friendly like Diver. I was just recently at a big work function and a guy that I''ve known for years commented about how hot I was looking. Did I mention that I''m 5 months pregnant and have a one year old at home?!?!

Honestly, I think it''s funny and flattering but I''m pretty laid back about this kind of stuff. I don''t think I''ve ever let someone''s ''flirtation'' get to the point of being creepy. I would just cut them off immediately if that happened.

In a little bit of reverse ''hitting'', I was walking down the street the other day sans stroller and with my belly well covered when a GORGEOUS guy walked past me. Ok, I''m human, I stared at him. He stared right back. I walked past him and willed myself to not turn around but my curiosity got the best of me. I turned and looked and he was turned around looking at me and gave me the thumbs up. I literally laughed out loud but I have to admit, it kinda made me feel good!

Ditto. I''m married, in my 30s with two kids, so I think it''s funny and flattering, too. I am very friendly, too. DH and I were at a Christmas party and I was flirting (I''m sure the 10 pomogranate martinis may have had something to do with this

) with a surfer guy from CA (we live on the east coast). I was so flattered when he said that my DH was a lucky guy ... made me feel good! But yeah, if anyone started getting "creepy", I would cut them off immediately, too.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Honestly (since you asked) ANYONE wearing a bikini top is fair game. Sorry, I understand if it was hot but don''t understand why you are surprised you got noticed

If it bothers you cover up.

 

[Kay]

Date: 5/29/2008 12:23:27 PM
Author: ephemery1
If I''m talking to a guy and sense he is being more flirty than friendly, I''ll usually make sure my wedding/e-ring are in plain sight and wave them around a bit. If he persists, I figure he''s kind of a jerk, and have no problem saying ''sorry, I''m not interested'' if the conversation results in some sort of invitation. If he''s a nice guy and just clueless, I''ll sometimes say ''I''m married actually'', to avoid making him feel totally rejected. So depends on the situation, I guess...

My friend and I were just talking the other day about how I get hit on 10 times more often when my hair looks nice... it is the funniest thing. When it''s pulled back in a ponytail, nothing. But when it''s long and straight and shiny, freshly blow-dryed, hanging halfway down my back, I''ll get multiple comments just on the way to work in the morning... and the impact is especially dramatic when I''m wearing black and my hair looks more blonde. Once when I was walking home from the hairdresser around rush-hour, a car actually plowed right into another car right there on the street beside me. Both guys got out of their cars and the one guy yelled, ''If you hadn''t been looking at that girl, you could have been looking where you were going!!'' I almost died of embarrassment on the spot.

That''s pretty much my approach. Now that I''m pregnant, my internal reaction is a mix of shocked and flattered. I got my hair cut and styled the Saturday before last and it was looking pretty good. It was a gorgeous sunny day and I was walking back to my car smiling and happy (instead of my usual eyes-forward, don''t F with me expression I cultivated for walking around alone in big cities). A guy I passed on the street said "wow, you''re gorgeous." I just kept smiling and walking. My husband was amused when I told him later (he thinks I''m glowing now, but then again he kind of has to).

 

[partgypsy]

The strangest time I got hit on was during my last pregnancy. It''s late spring, I''n in my second trimester, wearing a pretty outfit but with wedding band and all, when this young guy in a suit (actually kind of good looking) appears to run to catch up with me at the intersection and starts a conversation, he is in town for the weekend for a conference, and so on. He follows me across the street and starts telling me what hotel he is staying at, and at that point I end up turning a different direction and keep walking without answering his question. He actually really wasn''t creepy, just bizarre, as I''m thinking Doesn''t he notice I''m *#$ing pregnant!!!

I told my husband about it when I got home and he thought maybe the fellow just thought I was very curvy...

 

[LitigatorChick]

Date: 5/29/2008 3:40:02 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Honestly (since you asked) ANYONE wearing a bikini top is fair game. Sorry, I understand if it was hot but don''t understand why you are surprised you got noticed

If it bothers you cover up.

I guess I figure if I am in the mall with a bikini top, then that is too hoochy. But I''m in my yard gardening. Do you think it is inappropriate or strange?

I guess I understand that people may notice, but I don''t really get the whistling in suburbia.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 5/29/2008 3:57:08 PM
Author: LitigatorChick

Date: 5/29/2008 3:40:02 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

Honestly (since you asked) ANYONE wearing a bikini top is fair game. Sorry, I understand if it was hot but don''t understand why you are surprised you got noticed

If it bothers you cover up.

I guess I figure if I am in the mall with a bikini top, then that is too hoochy. But I''m in my yard gardening. Do you think it is inappropriate or strange?


I guess I understand that people may notice, but I don''t really get the whistling in suburbia.

I am not saying it is inappropriate (well I guess if it is a string I would think so) but you *HAVE* to expect guys staring/leering/thinking inappropriate thoughts. That is how guys are. I used to run our neighborhood in high school. I NEVER wore anything I would consider inappropriate (running pants, tanks, that kind of stuff) and guys would honk at me all the time. Annoying...yes. To be expected...yes.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Since you asked, I do think it is almost asking for attention if you are wearing a bikini top in your front yard. Usually people may have more privacy in the back yard, but I have never seen a neighbor wear a bikini top in my neighborhood, even when the average age was much younger. If my teeenage daughter wanted to lay out to get a tan, it was always on the back deck.

 

[LitigatorChick]

Oh no, I''m a hoochy!!!!

I guess I am so comfortable in swimwear since I lifeguarded for a long time. Where is this okay? In the backyard? At the waterpark with Miller?

 

[Miranda]

I don''t think you are a hoochy! It depends where you live. I live in So Ca by the beach. It is not strange to be in a bikini in the front yard...Or at the grocery store...Or anyplace for that matter. When we first moved here, running into the kids'' teachers at the beach while I was in a bikini did make me feel a little weird, but, the culture here is different than someplace more inland. You get used to it. I''d guess cities with large bodies of water (lakes) would be similar. Hmmmm...Maybe I''m a hoochy, though, because when I get a whistle I just shake my tush! Heehee! Just kidding. OK, well, there was only one time I was serenaded by the pier and I did curtsey and blow a kiss to the young fellow.