What has/can turn you into a Bridezilla?

[redfaerythinker]

Being called a bridezilla when my opinion differs from someone else''s. I HATE that.

When my bridesmaid stopped talking to me, I hadn''t had any contact from her in a year when I had to ask her to step down... the only way I could get ahold of her to do that was to send an email... she never responded.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Date: 4/7/2010 1:12:29 PM
Author: jaylex


Ditto! My FMIL is driving me crazy...

To my fiance:

''Since you guys probably already have sex, what color wedding dress is Jaylex planning on wearing?''

his response:

''red

''

ha ha. i love him.

Your fiance is awesome! I love his response.. my mother made a similar crack about me.. I just smiled and ignored her

 

[ArtistJess]

two things... money and my mother

 

[jaylex]

Date: 4/7/2010 2:38:51 PM
Author: Nov2109
jaylex....They got the chocolate out! I wasn't really that mad that she got something on it, she wouldnt listen to me when I asked her not to touch my dress and her mother was actually praising her telling her she was doing a good job as I just kept repeating sixteen hundred dollars of satin and lace please put my dress down. I finally raised my voice and told her to get her hands off my dress, and then there it was, a chocolate stain from her grubby kid hands! I was more mad an 8 year old wouldn't listen to an adult! Brat! And yes, the child was a relative of mine.

I too have dealt with the FILs not wanting us to live together before the wedding...they got over it, we have a house now too and they keep asking us what they can help with. Parents are funny people. Good Luck!

AHH! Don't you just hate mothers of young brats? They are completely oblivious.
Ha ha. I love that you said the child "was" a relative of yours! I know it's just a grammar thing, but I loved the fact that earlier you said you "almost killed her", and now she "was" a relative of yours.
Gosh I need sleep lol.



And Thanks, Maevie! I thought it was pretty funny of him since he usually wouldn't say something like that.

It's just so funny to me because our mothers are on their second marriages, in no way had their vcards when they got married the first time, and surely did not abstain after the ending of their first marriages. And they lived with their then-bfs before they were married or even engaged.

Meanwhile, FI and I are the only "partner" each other has ever had... and I'm some sort of a Harlot for moving in with my fiance!

"Do as I say, not as I do" comes to mind here lol.

 

[ts44]

Jaylex have you given it time to sink in with your mom? My father was pulling the same stuff on me, but I started a year out telling him "BF and I are probably going to move in together once my sister moves out." Sure he was all cranky and against it for a bit, but I''d just casually mention it once every few months or so, and then by the time we actually did move in together, he thought it was the greatest idea ever and offered help with our move and everything. Just needs time to filter through all the walls they put up.

I haven''t bridezilla''d about anything yet, but I think when my moment comes it will be related to my mother somehow. She''s great normally, but she''s a forceful, direct person when she wants something, and I know she''s going to say something rude to one of my bridesmaids, vendors, or guests at some point and I''m going to go ape. We''ve already gotten borderline in meetings with my venue''s event coordinator, lol.

 

[jaylex]

Date: 4/8/2010 6:10:10 PM
Author: ts44
Jaylex have you given it time to sink in with your mom? My father was pulling the same stuff on me, but I started a year out telling him 'BF and I are probably going to move in together once my sister moves out.' Sure he was all cranky and against it for a bit, but I'd just casually mention it once every few months or so, and then by the time we actually did move in together, he thought it was the greatest idea ever and offered help with our move and everything. Just needs time to filter through all the walls they put up.

I haven't bridezilla'd about anything yet, but I think when my moment comes it will be related to my mother somehow. She's great normally, but she's a forceful, direct person when she wants something, and I know she's going to say something rude to one of my bridesmaids, vendors, or guests at some point and I'm going to go ape. We've already gotten borderline in meetings with my venue's event coordinator, lol.

Yeah, it's been a couple of weeks since I told her. On Easter morning we were making a turkey and she said "this is the last holiday you will be having under our roof. But I think she thinks I'm just blowing smoke up her "hind quarters" and that when the end of May (and June... and July... and August... and September... all the way to our wedding date) comes, I'll still be living under her roof.
And I'd like to think that she'll come around, but I don't think she'll be ok with it until we are married with children.
Like I said, she did everything for my step sister and her fiance... short of crawling into bed with them and reading them a bedtime story before leaving that night. She was obviously supportive of them. idk why she's different with me.
Oh well...

Sorry to threadjack!

Speaking of bridezillas, does anyone know if any of the ones from TV ever found their way on to PS? That would be pretty funny.

 

[blueroses]

She was obviously supportive of them. idk why she''s different with me.

I''m quoting Jaylex completely out of context, but this is what''s made me a ''zilla, though I really haven''t gone zilla on anyone but my own psyche.

It''s my parents.

And to be clear, almost none of this is wedding-related....we have planned the WHOLE thing (another topic; they planned my sister''s WHOLE thing.)

They have been (on and off, mind you) simply miserable through this process. I''m almost 36 and this is my first marriage. My 3-years older sister was married 11 years ago at 28. Her husband is an ivy-league button-down business guy. My fiance is a working musician who is currently unemployed (day-job wise...Wow, he must be the only one in the country. ''Cause the economy is like, THRIVING.) We make ends meet just fine. He is an incredible, loving, supportive man who adores me. He''s an intelligent, passionate, kick-ass cancer survivor. He is paid to sing and play guitar and works several days a week with several different groups. In their eyes, this "work" doesn''t count. Just like my paid acting work is "little gigs." I don''t do theatre for free and he doesn''t sing for free. But he''s a "very nice person." And they "love him." But they can neither accept nor honor the choices of an almost 36-year old woman and her 30-year old fiance. FI has a very different ADULT relationship with his parents and is so bewildered by the way they treat me. It''s been so painful for us. I guess I''m used to it. He isn''t.

I truly feel like they would be happier if I were with a lawyer or doctor or CPA who beat me or made me miserable. That''s where I am with this.

Yeah. My parents have made this entire wedding about WHO I''m marrying, the reservations they have about the relationship, and SOMEHOW....this is all ok. Somehow all relevant. All out of great love and compassion for me, for us, out of wanting us to be ok and secure and solvent. (How about being happy that I am FINALLY happy??! What about that?!)

Great. We can appreciate the concern. But....wouldn''t one or two conversations be enough? Not a never-ending conversation that is never resolved, blurs boundaries, devastates me emotionally and makes me want to walk up the aisle alone rather than with the two of them because I don''t want anyone to PRETEND to celebrate my happiness?

So yeah. That''s where I am with being a ''zilla. We have three weeks to go, and the only silver lining is that there will so many people around us who are genuinely thrilled for us. I hope they come around. But I am trying so hard to grieve the relationship I wish I could have with my parents, and recognizing that I will never be what they wish I were (and they''ll never admit that). It sucks.

Side note from this: We''ve done a lot of premarital counseling with our priest who is AWESOME, and my parents like and respect him. He offered ages ago to sit down with all of us and at the time it didn''t seem serious enough. Now it does. On Sunday we''re supposed to, and my Dad is going to with the priest and me, but apparently my Mom won''t come--in my Dad''s e-mail about it it was so undermining, that he''d "cover for her" (she''s too busy, her last day of spring break) and hopefully we could just "smooth over" any issues or just "eliminate them entirely." They don''t take me/us seriously. And it hurts.

 

[les12]

I''ve been super laid back about everything (maybe too much..) but one thing really got me worked up, and that was postage! Not the amount, but the fact that the stupid postal workers tried to tell my poor mom that my invitation needed a .61 cent stamp when it actually needed 3 .44 cent stamps. Luckily I knew this was incorrect when my mom called me, so we got the right thing, but can you imagine if I didn''t know and had mailed them all out, with inadequate postage and they were ALL sent back to me?!?!!?!! Probably with some awful stamp that says "undeliverable" or something. What a nightmare that would have been!
Another thing that made me mad was the fact that we had them hand-cancelled, but then they were ALSO cancelled by machine and some of them were done upside down so the cancelling squiggly lines were overlapping the addresses

It would not have been such a big deal, but all of my envelopes were hand written in this gorgeous calligraphy but some of them were just ruined!

oh well, I guess things could be worse (see everyone else''s comments above

) Just kidding! Hang in there girls!