What have you done to enjoy your *pre-engagement* today?

[sunkist]

Since there have been lots of LIW eagerly waiting for the engagement and the ring to come ASAP and perhaps bugging our boyfriends about it too much (

), I thought we it would be helpful to start a support thread where we can share ways to enjoy the pre-engagement stage of our relationships! Instead of constantly thinking about proposals and talking about rings with our BF''s, we can focus on the relationship itself and our significant others and keep working towards strengthening our future marriages.

So if you have any suggestions of what has worked for you, or what you''ve done today to accomplish this, PLEASE SHARE

 

[sunkist]

Here are some things I did today.

1. I got up at 6am this morning to go workout with BF, but when I got to his house he was tired from a long night of working. So I let him sleep in.

2. I didn''t spend time on PS while he was in the room

 

[Mandarine]

Great idea Sunkist!!

Me and my BF enjoy travelling...so we spend much more time planning our next vacation and not really that much talking about engagement stuff! (that really only happens when I bring it up and I consciously try to keep it to a minimum

)

We''ve already been to awesome places together and are always on the look-out for new places to go to....or cool/adventurous things to do around here!

M~

 

[Mandarine]

on a day to day....when we are together, I never check PS...we also spend a lot of time planning what we are making for dinner (I love to cook, he loves to eat...and he''s a great chef assistant!) and of course carefully choosing the perfect bottle o red wine!! (we also joined a wine club...it''s great!!!)

M~

 

[sunkist]

Date: 4/4/2006 9:04:11 PM
Author: Mandarine
on a day to day....when we are together, I never check PS...we also spend a lot of time planning what we are making for dinner (I love to cook, he loves to eat...and he''s a great chef assistant!) and of course carefully choosing the perfect bottle o red wine!! (we also joined a wine club...it''s great!!!)


M~

Oh yes, I love cooking with C too! Except he''s the chef and I''m the sous-chef! Sometimes I like to switch it around, but since he went to chef school and know''s more than I do about cooking, sometimes its hard for him to let me be in charge of the kitchen

But the food is always great!

 

[rainbowtrout]

I give myself rewards for the length of days that go by without me asking or saying anything about the ring....

Other than that, I''m not sure. I made us dinner today ( I make dinner every day anyway though) and didn''t say anything sad about moving out.

I lost my nice string of days today though bc I took out our stone and started talking to it about how I knew it was so sad becasue it had to live in this ugly box, but that he was looking for a home for it, and soon it wouldn''t have to live in the ugly box anymore. Yes, I''m that odd

 

[sunkist]

Date: 4/4/2006 9:14:09 PM
Author: rainbowtrout
I give myself rewards for the length of days that go by without me asking or saying anything about the ring....


Other than that, I''m not sure. I made us dinner today ( I make dinner every day anyway though) and didn''t say anything sad about moving out.


I lost my nice string of days today though bc I took out our stone and started talking to it about how I knew it was so sad becasue it had to live in this ugly box, but that he was looking for a home for it, and soon it wouldn''t have to live in the ugly box anymore. Yes, I''m that odd

Heehee! That''s so funny Rainbow! By the way what is your stone?! Also , I''m just curious of what kinds of rewards you give yourself for not mentioning e-rings.

 

[rainbowtrout]

it''s a cushion cut (deep) natural sapphire, supposedly ceylon, although oldminer wasn''t sure.

rewards can just be cookies or a nap or the like...or looking at whiteflash for earrings or something. Sometimes

my reward is to point out to him that I''ve been good about it and to request a pat on the head.

 

[indecisive]

My guy and I cooked together today too! It helped but I brought up how nice it would be to have something to show off to his family on Easter... I don''t think it is going to happen before then though

 

[Angela1977]

Well, we work together, so we''ve been just talking all morning. He brought me breakfast and we''ve been making dinner plans for tonight. I always stay over there on Wednesday''s, so it''s kind of our "official mid-week date", though we usually hang out almost every night anyway. And we''ve just been making plans for the weekend.
I just don''t know HOW to make plans for the weekend. There''s an Italian festival downtown this weekend that I''d really like to go to, plus two of my friends are having birthday celebrations (probably together) this weekend. I mentioned both of them, and they''re usually things that he''d jump on, but he''s seemed a little indifferent to both. I don''t know if I shouldn''t be making any plans because HE might be making plans. This is what I''m running into right now. So I think I''m just going to play everything by ear. I''m just enjoying this time. Like I said in my original thread, I''m not sure I really want this "pre-engagement time" to end, so I''m not trying to jump the gun. I just don''t like this tenuous feeling of not knowing what I should be doing, or wearing, or planning, etc. KWIM?

 

[sumbride]

What a good idea for a thread!!! We had a bridal shower at the office yesterday for a coworker eloping in Lake Tahoe next week. It was so great to see them together, but then the questioning of me started... "So, Sum, when is your wedding??? When are you getting married???" If I knew, don''t they think I''d tell them??? We get parties at our office!

but then another coworker asked me if it was making me crazy and I said "Honestly, it''s kind of cool knowing he''s going to do it but not when... it''s sort of a sweet anticipation... but yeah, sometimes it does indeed send me over the edge."

Last night I had water aerobics so we didn''t go to the gym together like we usually do, but when he got there, he walked toward the pool and waved at me just so I would know he was there... it was really sweet. When I first started taking the class he wouldn''t wave because he "didn''t want to embarrass me"... I told him GUYS would be embarrassed, but not girls.

I made dinner last night and he opened our bottle of red wine... I love that he''s gotten into wine... it''s hard to enjoy if you''re the only one... a bottle serves 4! Then we watched the end of The Godfather on DVD, all snuggled up together. It was sweet. He teased me about writing in my diary, like he does every night, then I teased him about my telecommuting today which means I didn''t have to get up until 8:30 this morning! He''s called me twice this morning just to check in since I don''t email much when I''m home.

So being "pre-engaged" is really sweet... I just have to remember that when I get all loopy.

 

[caligal]

Love this thread Sunkist! I bought him a very fun book for V-day- 101 Great Romantic Nights. It has sealed pages with dates- you switch off each week with one person planning the date per the sealed page. This week was lingerie fashion show- so we had some fun at Fredrick''s! It is a great book- recommend for all... as all of the dates are different and fun!

 

[sunkist]

Oh what sweet posts Angela, Sum, and Cali! Sum your post made me all warm and fuzzy inside! You two sound like you''re so cute together!

Last night C and I went for a drive. I was sooo tired, but I layed on his shoulder while he drove. We drove along the Pacific Coast Hwy and looked at all the beautiful rain clouds and city lights. Then before he dropped me off at home we went exploring in some neighborhoods we''d never been through before. I was getting extremely tired though and asked if we could go home. He said yes, but that he was just scouting out places for us to live someday!

(Ya right though, those houses are crazy expensive! I said we could live in the park!)

This morning on the way back from our rowing workout we were joking about some funny stuff and I told him how much I love that he makes me laugh everyday. I really do love him! I was thinking this week that we''re going to be married in probably less than 6 months!!!! I can''t believe it!!!! And we''re still not engaged... That part doesn''t worry me though. The plan is to be engaged in 2 months and married 3 months later. I am not going to bring up this to him though, I don''t want it to sound like pressure

Enjoy your day ladies!

 

[firebirdgold]

What a lovely idea for a thread! A nice change from grumbling.

Last night we had dinner at the olive garden (always a fav since that''s where we first saw each other), followed by an hour of cuddling on the couch and playing monkeyball on the DS together. I actually beat him a few times, which is bound to be good for the relationship!

We finished the evening with a late showing of Ice Age 2, which is laugh-out-loud funny! (Highly recommend) We spent the entire movie either holding hands or leaning against the other''s shoulder... except for the bits where I was clutching my stomach and laughing!

Tonight we are going to Ten thousand waves for a long hot tub under the stars. I''m also planning on making him his favorite dinner.

And of course, I will not be bringing up anything related to jewelry, engagements, or weddings!

 

[amyg]

I love this thread too...

It seems like there are sever LIW''s that are in the same boat I am, with trying not to bring up anything related to proposals or weddings...bf wants it to be a surprise and is convinced that it can''t be a surprise if i am constantly talking about it...so anyway...we had a great weekend with absolutely nothing wedding or proposal related, we have a great park in the dowtown area of our city with an awesome suspension bridge over a small river...it''s truly beautiful, and we spent a lot of time there in the beginnig of our relationship, so it''s special to us, and we went twice this weekend, once alone at night...very sweet and romantic, and we did a lot of reminiscing...it was wonderful, and then we went back on Sunday afternoon and took our puppy (a 6 month old Chihuahua) and had an awesome time...everyone wanted to stop and pet him and tell us there great dog stories!!! He even loved meeting the other dogs and they were all for the most part very friendly...it was a good weekend, and not thinking about the propsal 24/7 has really made me a more relaxed and happy person...

 

[Angela1977]

I can't bring up anything about jewelry! He thinks he's being sneaky...he's so cute. We had a huge hail storm on Sunday night, and his car got about 9 huge dents in it and he was waiting on the body shop to give him a call. Well, his cell phone rang (while we were here at work). I was on the phone but I heard the conversation and it was the jeweler and the ring was ready and he was going at lunch to pick it up. Then while I was still on the phone, HE called the body shop and set up an appt for lunch today. When we both got off the phone, he said "that was the body shop...I'm taking my car down there at lunch, so I'll probably take a long lunch today because that will take a while." I said, "well, it's a good thing they finally called you!" Hehehe. I still think it'll be a while before he "does it", so I'm just not saying anything at all about it. He's kind of bummed that it wasn't a complete suprise, so I'm just pretending like I didn't hear anything. I love him so much...

So tonight, we're just going to have a festive dinner, and then watch a little South Park (my guilty pleasure....) snuggled up on the couch. I love this pre-engagement time...I don't want it to end. He's getting so antsy to tell people though...I really wouldn't have wanted to miss seeing him this excited and proud. I'm GLAD it's not a total suprise. I'll never forget all of this.

ETA: Oh, and this is really a great thread. I'm loving all of this support during this time instead of the "I wish it would hurry up and just happen!" This is much more fun, because once you have the ring, you have the ring! Granted a new phase starts, and it's great too, but this is really a special time and it's cool we can all be happy about it together...
Man, I'm cheesy sometimes...

 

[sunkist]

Date: 4/5/2006 2:16:15 PM
Author: Angela1977
I can''t bring up anything about jewelry! He thinks he''s being sneaky...he''s so cute. We had a huge hail storm on Sunday night, and his car got about 9 huge dents in it and he was waiting on the body shop to give him a call. Well, his cell phone rang (while we were here at work). I was on the phone but I heard the conversation and it was the jeweler and the ring was ready and he was going at lunch to pick it up. Then while I was still on the phone, HE called the body shop and set up an appt for lunch today. When we both got off the phone, he said ''that was the body shop...I''m taking my car down there at lunch, so I''ll probably take a long lunch today because that will take a while.'' I said, ''well, it''s a good thing they finally called you!'' Hehehe. I still think it''ll be a while before he ''does it'', so I''m just not saying anything at all about it. He''s kind of bummed that it wasn''t a complete suprise, so I''m just pretending like I didn''t hear anything. I love him so much...

Heehee, Angela that is soo cute of your BF to be sneaky like that!!! And how good of you to play along

That really shows that you love him!

 

[Angela1977]

To be honest, this is the first time HE hasn''t cracked. I''ve given him some opportunities to be sneaky, but he''s always wanted to talk about it. But since this was the final "thing" to do, I was really playing stupid. He always wants to talk about what''s going on...he says "This is something you want to discuss with your best friend, to get their opinion and imput, and you''re my best friend, and that''s a problem in this situation!"

Oh, and Caligal, you are brave for your lingerie fashion show! That''s a GREAT idea, just wish I had the nerve...

 

[sunkist]

NOOOoooo! The stone that I''ve had my eye on for weeks is gone!!!

I''m so sad. I''m in shock. My last bout of e-ring talk with the BF was trying to get him to get the stone shipped to us to see if we liked it. I guess someone else liked it too

The reason he didn''t want to put money on it then is cause he''s not ready yet. So I guess if he''s not ready, then that''s just not meant to be our stone. But I really wanted to see it! It''s going to be so hard for me not to tell my BF it''s gone!

 

[lilmaria]

I have enjoyed the long stares at one another like the game we are each playig w/eachother. he said it is really soon, but i was hoping it was yesterday. he is really sweet lately (which i love) and he is playing coy which is great. i think it might happen really soon though im keeping my mouth shut b/c i dont want to ruin whatever surpise he may/may not be planning. I also refrain from asking him when. We''ll see, though it might not be that far off...i hope it isn''t, atleast.

 

[Angela1977]

Sunkist, I am so, so sorry.
Look at it like this, and I know it''s tough, and it sounds trite, but you''re going to find one. And it''s going to be YOURS. YOU''RE going to wear it everyday for the rest of your life. This one wasn''t it. You liked it, but you''re also going to LOVE the one you end up getting. You''re not going to get a CZ from Wal-mart. What you get is going to be beautiful and special and again...YOURS. I know it''s hard not tell him, but he loves you and he''s going to get you something beautiful that you love. Be patient and the ONE that you''re supposed to have will pop up, he''ll buy it, and you''ll forget all about this one.
It sucks. I vote for some Ben and Jerry''s.

 

[anchor31]

Oh, I'm sorry Sunkist... It happened to me too... twice. I'm really hoping it won't happen again, 'cause this one, I'm not letting it go.

J sent me a sweet e-mail to give me a bit of news at lunch time. He's been doing this much more often than he used to since I left after Spring Break a month ago, and it's really great. In the last few weeks I'd replied and talked about ring stuff a few times, probably because I take a bit of time to get on PS and look and diamond at lunch time, but today I didn't say anything about diamonds.

I'm very proud of myself...

But he mentions it almost as much as I do, so I hardly feel guilty about talking about it.

I can't go home fore Easter Break because term is over a week and a half later and there's just no way I can leave for four days with all the exams and projects to hand out in the following ten days.

But! He told me yesterday that his mother is coming to visit her family with his father (they are close by) and he'll be coming along to spend the long week-end with me!

I'll have tons of work and studying to do, but he said he'll be good and let me do what I have to do. I'm so happy to get to spend a few days with him soon!

We might talk about rings a bit because I'd like to know how he feels about buying online, we'll see.

 

[sunkist]

Thanks Angela and Anchor

I''m still a little sad, but I feel better. I just spent a wonderful afternoon with C! He was very giddy and excited and I pretended to myself that it was because he bought the stone

But I''m sure it''s not! He''s excited cause he found a great deal on a purchase and he''s going to turn it around and make some money [$$)] But still if he''s happy, I''m happy. So it was a wonderful afternoon

I didn''t mention the stone to him though, and I won''t. Unless it''s totally appropriate!

Anchor how exciting that your BF is going to visit you

That is great news. And good luck on upcoming exams!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 4/5/2006 9:09:20 PM
Author: sunkist
Anchor how exciting that your BF is going to visit you

That is great news. And good luck on upcoming exams!

Thanks! I think I'm going to need it...

ETA: I have a completely OT question, but I've been wondering... Those of you who have cute little characters in your avatar (Amyg, Sumbride, ect.), where did you get them? I want one!

 

[Mandarine]

Ok...so today I had no time to think about anything else other than work!!!...first tough day at work and then a BUNCH of house work

Then my ex called (we''ve been broken up for over 5 years, but still keep in touch). Then we started asking me when my BF was taking the plunge....so that''s the only time I did think about it!

. My ex actually lives with his GF and doesn''t want to ever get married...weird because when we were together he was so for it!!. It reminds me of that book about the guy not being so much into you. He did like the idea of marriage, but doesn''t like it with his current GF...hmmmm. Nothing to do with me...we are way over, it''s just funny how easily his mind changed!

Anchor: The avatars came from Yahoo! (you can set one up if you have an account with them)

M~

 

[sunkist]

Well I have to report that I had a good day today! My BF and I were talking and I told him how I can''t wait to be married to him, he feels the same way too. But I''m so proud of myself that I did not mention rings or engagement! I didn''t even tell him about my stone that is gone/sold. I was actually very busy at school today so I haven''t thought about rings all day (until now on PS!)

 

[Mimikins24]

I love this thread --- nice to keep us LIWs grounded!!!

Today I am letting the BF sleep in even though I have been up for hours (early morning meeting). We are going to cook some late breakfast together and then head to our last classes of the year (yeah!!! --- now I just have to make it through the exams). Tonight we are going to watch a SATC marathon that is on every Friday on Bravo!!! He has even started to like watching them with me.

My Grandpa passed away last Thursday. Everytime we saw Grandpa he would tell my BF to look after me. My BF said to me that he was going to look after me for the rest of his life last night just like my Grandpa always asked him to do. OK --- enough of that --- I made myself cry!

Hope all the ladies have a wonderful pre-engagement day! Sometime when I think about it I am disappointed that they will end --- especially because my BF promised that we will be engaged by the time we return to school in the fall. Now that the end is in sight, I am getting nervous about the change!

I know why my BF says I can be hard to please --- I am always changing my mind! Can anyone else relate?

 

[caligal]

Sunkist- WAY to take it in stride!! And Mimikins- I can totally relate! Our timeline will be either this summer or more likely next fall when we get engaged and yesterday I was having one of those little freak-out days too. I''m in the midst of job searching and have a final and 3rd interview next week- so I was starting to get nervous about a new job, moving, marriage, kids.... you name it! I asked him... what if we start to get boring once we are married and have no fun? That is a worry, very small, but he was quite reassuring about everything.

 

[Blenheim]

This has been a very self-centered week, in a much needed way. After holing myself up on campus and in my room and taking exams, I spent three days at my other top-choice grad program. It really showed me where I want to be. Each has its advantages, but something about the first place I visited made my heart sing and I didn''t feel that there. After 2 days, I was already ready to leave, whereas I was practically crying that I had to leave after 4 at the first place I visited. They looked so similar on paper, that I''m surprised (and kind of happy) that visiting made my choice that clear. Luckily, though, at the place I''m 99% sure I''m going to choose it looks like my BF would better job choices. (Since it''s a major decision, I''m going to spend another 1-2 days thinking it through.) And now, I''m about to head to a conference, where I''m going to give my first professional talk ever. I''ve just been so busy thinking about this aspect of my future that it''s been easier not to be focused on the ring and proposal and all.

Mimikins, there''s a SATC marathon on tonight!? Oohhh! I think I got my boyfriend mildly hooked, although I don''t think he''d ever actually admit it.

 

[Angela1977]

Blenheim,
Good for you on getting clarity....
It''s a big decision. Sounds like you know exactly where you need/want to be.
Congratulations!