What if a girl wore white to your wedding?

[allycat0303]

sweetjettagirl04: I'm totally zen this morning about it. I think because the material is still light-weight and I guess it feels like a dress you could wear to a black-tie party. I was expecting more of a a-line with crysatl beading ball gown or something, so I don't think it will overshadow my dress (although mine is pretty plain). That Alfred Angelo dress is part of the destination wedding collection actually, so it IS a wedding dress. But it could have been worst. And my fiance seemed to think it was ok, so I guess it is. I'm going to let it go.

fieryred33143: I don't think it's appropriate, but I think it could be worst. And really, I'm pretty sure she's doing it on purpose. And they've E and her have been together for about 8-9 years and she dreams of a proposal, so maybe she wants to give him ideas?? It's all good, she's not a nice person. And she's never been nice to me (really has it in for me) so why am I surprised? She's a nurse at the hospital where I did 7-8 rotations. We've been in the SAME room. I've said *HI* and she just ignored me and walked out. So no illusions there. I'm actually surprised she is even coming. I thought E would come alone, but I was wrong.

It's going to be kind of funny though. We're going to look like a 2-bride wedding! Double wedding or something. My dress is pretty plain, so only a bit fancier then that one, but I'll have the bouquet

 

[MaggieB]

I''m so confused. Originally you just THOUGHT that she was the type of person to wear white, and wondered if you should be mad about that. But now she''s wearing an ACTUAL wedding dress to your wedding? That picture is of her dress? But now you''re okay with it. No, she shouldn''t wear a real live wedding dress to your wedding.

If it were me, I''d buy a cheap veil somewhere, tell her I saw her dress and thought this would go perfect with it. Then I''d tell my fiance that if that girl proceeded to wear her own wedding dress to my wedding, she and her boyfriend would not be welcome in my home in the future.

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

Date: 5/15/2009 10:28:27 AM
Author: allycat0303
sweetjettagirl04: I''m totally zen this morning about it. I think because the material is still light-weight and I guess it feels like a dress you could wear to a black-tie party. I was expecting more of a a-line with crysatl beading ball gown or something, so I don''t think it will overshadow my dress (although mine is pretty plain). That Alfred Angelo dress is part of the destination wedding collection actually, so it IS a wedding dress. But it could have been worst. And my fiance seemed to think it was ok, so I guess it is. I''m going to let it go.

fieryred33143: I don''t think it''s appropriate, but I think it could be worst. And really, I''m pretty sure she''s doing it on purpose. And they''ve E and her have been together for about 8-9 years and she dreams of a proposal, so maybe she wants to give him ideas?? It''s all good, she''s not a nice person. And she''s never been nice to me (really has it in for me) so why am I surprised? She''s a nurse at the hospital where I did 7-8 rotations. We''ve been in the SAME room. I''ve said *HI* and she just ignored me and walked out. So no illusions there. I''m actually surprised she is even coming. I thought E would come alone, but I was wrong.

It''s going to be kind of funny though. We''re going to look like a 2-bride wedding! Double wedding or something. My dress is pretty plain, so only a bit fancier then that one, but I''ll have the bouquet

Ally, I''m in awe of how you''re handling this - you''re truly full of grace and class.

Besides, she can''t overshadow you even if she showed up in a ballgown - Nothing is going to outshine you in that AMAZING dress you have!

 

[NuggetBrain]

No. No, no, no, no. Completely unacceptable. I''m sorry, I really don''t want to come off as mean but just because your fiance thinks that its okay (remember, this is the guy who is apparently clueless on what a biznatch this woman is) doesn''t mean its okay. That looks like something I might wear to my wedding. Its from a wedding collection. The model is wearing a veil. It is completely inappropriate for her to wear this to the wedding. Your FI needs to speak to his best friend and let him know that his girlfriend is causing issues, and that you BOTH would appreciate it if she could find something more appropriate to wear to the wedding.

 

[allycat0303]

MaggieB: Fiance mentioned her dress a few days ago and she described it to him. BUT REALLY people say all sorts of things about what they are going to wear, and then they don't. Even FMIL wanted to wear a complete ivory dress originally but changed to Lilac when I told her my dress was ivory. So I didn't really freak out about it, kind of forgot it except yesturday my mom told me my dress was too plain (we had a veil fight) and that some of the guests would be wearing nicer dresses. Have to admit I kind of went postal last night and had fiance do recon for me and that's apparently the dress based on his memory and info she gave him.
I'm ok with it now though because I don't think it's that brides-y. And I think it's a lightweight fabric so it doesn't look that much like a wedding dress to me. I think it skirts the fine line between evening-wear and bridal. So I'm not happy about it, but I don't think there's anything I can do about it either. Bridzilla moment has passed

sweetjettagirl04: You're so sweet. I don't know if it's grace or class, but I really don't think I should get upset. I don't think it would change anything, and I don't see myself saying to a guest "Oh don't wear that so I can have all the attention" I don't even LIKE attention THAT much! I told the DJ not to single me out to try and get me to dance because it would NEVER happen. And I feel like I've been so lucky lately in many respects that to get nasty about this would be wrong.

 

[House Cat]

::::::shaking head:::::

Where''s the red wine?

This is why ps''rs need to be invited to weddings. We can handle this for you.

This is still your day. I''m glad you''re feeling zen about it. That girl is going to look ridiculous at your wedding.

 

[E B]

That isn't just any white dress, it's an ACTUAL WEDDING DRESS. Unbelievable.

Kudos to you for handling this so well. I'd be steaming.

No one, especially not some petty girlfriend of your fiance's friend, should be disrespecting you at your wedding. And that's exactly what she's aiming to do by choosing a dress like that.

I think your fiance needs to visit Pricescope for a little heart-to-heart with a few of us.

 

[allycat0303]

Ebree: I do like to avoid conflict, but really this is a losing battle. I'm not going to tell my fiance to tell her boyfriend, to tell her that she can't wear the dress!! It's like playing telephone and immature. And I can't tell her directly, because I don't think she's EVER said a word to me. I've literally never said anything besides *hello* 3 times. That's just too random. And she'll have the satisfaction of knowing she got to me.

Blah. Should have stood my ground and not invited her. If E's birthday had come before the wedding invitations had gone out, at least I could have used the fact that I was left off the guestlist AGAIN as a reason to leave her at home.

. Live and learn I guess.

HouseCat: You're so fuuny. I would never do that though, can you imagine the karma for spilling wine? Although the PS girls are pretty kick-butt. I wonder if anyone would REALLY do that.

 

[MaggieB]

Ally, you are obviously a very classy person and I commend you for that. However, you will find with age that you will not always be able to respond to horrible people with acceptance. This is just the beginning for this girl, and each time you accept her behavior, you set the new boundary that she will think of more new and awful ways to push. I believe that you should very calmly explain to your fiance that it is no more acceptable for another person to show up at your wedding in a wedding dress than it is to show up in a clown suit. If he doesn''t believe you, tell him to ask ANYONE and they will say the same thing. (But he can''t just say "white dress," he needs to show the actual WEDDING dress that is is.)

I''m sure that you are making the decision that you think will best maintain the peace on your special day. I truly hope that it works out that way for you.

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/15/2009 10:20:12 AM
Author: allycat0303
My fiance saw E's girl yesturday, and as per my request he actually saw the dress. He says it's not what he would think of a wedding gown. Anyways, she told him that it was alfred angelo, so I pulled up all the pictures and he pointed to the one he thought it was. She says she bought it this year for a hospital gala. *shrug* so I guess I have to give her the benefit of the doubt (

yeah right) I do think it's less bride-y then my feverish imagination though, so I guess it passes for an afternoon wedding. But don't ask me to be happy about it. I'm still annoyed given said history with girl. And I did totally indulged in a GRR bridzilla moment. But I can't un-invite her. So I'll ask the photographer to keep her out of my pictures so I don't remember it. Thanks for listening to me vent.

ally, I am sorry, but THAT dress does not pass for an AFTERNOON wedding, unless you are black tie, IMO. She is going to be sooooo overdressed. If I had this girls address, I would go personally "take care" of this little issue for you for you.

I would most definitely tell the photog to keep her far away from you. My preference would be a dingy with a small hole, in the middle of the ocean.

Ally, you are a much better person than I am. I'm so happy for you that you are just going to move past this. Sometimes humor really is the best medicine, and it seems that you have found it.

 

[E B]

If you''re at peace with it, that''s all that matters. I just hope you don''t have to associate with her much in the future, if at all, after the big day.

 

[Lilac]

It''s one thing to wear a short white dress - that probably wouldn''t upset me. But the dress in the picture you showed? That could be an actual WEDDING DRESS. I would be very upset.

I hope she doesn''t wear the dress, but if she does, I''m sure you''ll look much more beautiful anyway. And people will be talking about how she was the tacky one who wore a wedding dress to someone else''s wedding

Ally, I''m amazed at how you''re handling this - you''re dealing with it much better than I think many of us would.

 

[allycat0303]

Meresal: well we''re not having black tie, but my BM dresses are floor length. A lot (if not ALL) of my friends are wearing floor-length dresses, so I think she will blend. Or not

. Fiance uses the excuse that she''s *not the sharpest tool in the shed and doesn''t realize it''s inappropriate* I''m more with the *she''s doing it on purpose* school of thought, but I get that E is one of his BEST friends and he doesn''t want to insult E''s girlfriend.

Ebree: Thanks sweetie! I don''t deal with her often. Once a year the birthday thing will probably will come up. Along with some *she hit on my fiance* annoyances. I see her about 4-5 per year. And I used to see her at the hospital, but now that I''m at Mcgill, NEVER AGAIN! (That''s worth it all in it''s own).

 

[princesss]

HouseCat: You''re so fuuny. I would never do that though, can you imagine the karma for spilling wine? Although the PS girls are pretty kick-butt. I wonder if anyone would REALLY do that.

Yes. Yes I would. It''s not nice at all, but if somebody disrespected me the way this girl consistantly disrespects you, yes, I would pour red wine all over her. I''m loud and I talk with my hands and sometimes I forget that there''s wine still in my very full glass. And sometimes I can''t walk in heels and I trip and the glass goes flying out of my hand. But generally BF removes people like that from my general area before I get a chance to even get the urge to do that.

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/15/2009 11:26:15 AM
Author: allycat0303
Meresal: well we're not having black tie, but my BM dresses are floor length. A lot (if not ALL) of my friends are wearing floor-length dresses, so I think she will blend. Or not

. Fiance uses the excuse that she's *not the sharpest tool in the shed and doesn't realize it's inappropriate* I'm more with the *she's doing it on purpose* school of thought, but I get that E is one of his BEST friends and he doesn't want to insult E's girlfriend.

Ebree: Thanks sweetie! I don't deal with her often. Once a year the birthday thing will probably will come up. Along with some *she hit on my fiance* annoyances. I see her about 4-5 per year. And I used to see her at the hospital, but now that I'm at Mcgill, NEVER AGAIN! (That's worth it all in it's own).

If that is the case, then I think you will be fine. Just let her make a complete A$$ of herself, and laugh in the background with every other guest.

If she keeps pushing the envelope further and further, she will become apparent to E at some point and it will all be ohh so clear. What sucks is that it might be so bad that it could really effect his and his buddies friendship to let it get to such a place.

I wish you the best with all of this!! I think just telling the photog ahead of time is a great idea... maybe you should also send a pic of your dress for him to study, so he doesn't get confused at the reception.

 

[Bia]

I wouldn''t care. That''s small potatoes when you think about all the things that COULD go wrong on your wedding day. But that''s only because I don''t care about stuff like that.


Plus, there is no way "she" could look better than me on my wedding day

lol

 

[NuggetBrain]

Wait, she hit on your fiance too? Did I miss that part earlier? WTF, she really sounds like a piece of work. Like I said, I would have my fiance talk to the best friend (because she refuses to speak to you) - I don''t think its immature, I think it would just make me feel better. Especially when your fiance says she doesn''t realize its inappropriate - then someone needs to tell her. But you are handling it the best way for you and that''s exactly what you should be doing. I hope she looks like a complete and utter fool in that dress on your wedding day.

 

[sunnyd]

This girl belongs in a mental institution...

Even if she's the dumbest person on earth, HOW could she think it would be okay to wear a wedding dress to someone else's wedding?!?!?! I would've dumped my FI a long time ago for continually putting this girl's feelings before mine, however, so we wouldn't even be in this situation. I just really hope this is the only stupid thing she plans to do on your day.

 

[kama_s]

OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE I can't friggin believe she's wearing a bloody wedding dress to your wedding. HOW can someone do that without full intention?!!!! Seriously, I know your fiance thinks it's okay, but you need loud-mouthed friends to put this b*tch in place.

I'm totally like doodle, that would've been my response to her as well. I've got a damn big mouth sometimes, and it sure sucks to be at the receiving end of it.

 

[iheartscience]

Oh my GOD. That is 100% a wedding gown. I''m not usually an advocate of such nasty behavior, but that girl needs a GIANT glass of red wine spilled on her the moment your reception starts. If I was a guest at your wedding I would gladly do it for you.

I think it''s great that you''re being so calm about it, but I have to agree with maggie-at some point accepting bad behavior crosses the line into being a doormat. Considering that this girl treats you terribly and has HIT ON YOUR FIANCE I think that you even allowing her to come to your wedding is borderline doormat behavior.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 5/15/2009 10:28:27 AM
Author: allycat0303


fieryred33143: I don''t think it''s appropriate, but I think it could be worst. And really, I''m pretty sure she''s doing it on purpose. And they''ve E and her have been together for about 8-9 years and she dreams of a proposal, so maybe she wants to give him ideas?? It''s all good, she''s not a nice person. And she''s never been nice to me (really has it in for me) so why am I surprised? She''s a nurse at the hospital where I did 7-8 rotations. We''ve been in the SAME room. I''ve said *HI* and she just ignored me and walked out. So no illusions there. I''m actually surprised she is even coming. I thought E would come alone, but I was wrong.

It''s going to be kind of funny though. We''re going to look like a 2-bride wedding! Double wedding or something. My dress is pretty plain, so only a bit fancier then that one, but I''ll have the bouquet

And you''ll also have the man that actually wants to marry you

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Haha, if someone intentionally wore an actual wedding dress to my wedding, they would spend the entire night getting made fun of by my more outgoing friends. I think she''s just hurting herself by wearing something so OBVIOUSLY inappropriate. It''s like if she showed up in skin tight leather lingerie, they both say the same thing about her: No class.

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/15/2009 12:18:52 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 5/15/2009 10:28:27 AM
Author: allycat0303


fieryred33143: I don''t think it''s appropriate, but I think it could be worst. And really, I''m pretty sure she''s doing it on purpose. And they''ve E and her have been together for about 8-9 years and she dreams of a proposal, so maybe she wants to give him ideas?? It''s all good, she''s not a nice person. And she''s never been nice to me (really has it in for me) so why am I surprised? She''s a nurse at the hospital where I did 7-8 rotations. We''ve been in the SAME room. I''ve said *HI* and she just ignored me and walked out. So no illusions there. I''m actually surprised she is even coming. I thought E would come alone, but I was wrong.

It''s going to be kind of funny though. We''re going to look like a 2-bride wedding! Double wedding or something. My dress is pretty plain, so only a bit fancier then that one, but I''ll have the bouquet

And you''ll also have the man that actually wants to marry you

OHHH BURN!!!!!

 

[Bia]

Date: 5/15/2009 12:21:49 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
Haha, if someone intentionally wore an actual wedding dress to my wedding, they would spend the entire night getting made fun of by my more outgoing friends. I think she's just hurting herself by wearing something so OBVIOUSLY inappropriate. It's like if she showed up in skin tight leather lingerie, they both say the same thing about her: No class.

This would probably happen at my wedding too. My group is no holds barred!

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 5/15/2009 12:26:42 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 5/15/2009 12:18:52 PM

Author: fieryred33143
And you''ll also have the man that actually wants to marry you

OHHH BURN!!!!!

*snort*
Had to log in to ditto these two hilarious girls.

 

[Rhea]

I''d be upset, of course I would, but there''s not much you can actually do. I had an informal wedding and saw what was basically a shorter version on my wedding dress on a person I knew just a few weeks before the wedding. My heart stopped. Had she worn it to the wedding I would have been upset, but nothing can be done.

 

[doodle]

OH HOLY SHITAKE MUSHROOMS, THAT HEIFER IS NOT SERIOUSLY WEARING AN ACTUAL WEDDING DRESS TO YOUR WEDDING!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!?! I take back everything I said earlier. If she showed up dressed like that at my wedding after having hit on my FI before, too, you can bet your FAT AUNT FANNIE that she'd leave with a chafing dish full of green beans on top of her head!!!!!!

I'm usually one to try to take the route of "kill her with kindness" but sweetie, in this case, I say just kill her. Nice. Simple. You can have her buried in the wedding dress--it'll be the only occasion she ever gets to wear one because nobody in his right mind would marry a woman that heinous!!!!!!! I'd kill her.

 

[sunnyd]

LMAO doodle, that''s awesome.

 

[mayachel]

I stand by initial comment to just ignore the situation, but after seeing the dress-Holy Batman! THAT IS A WEDDING DRESS! This girl is totally smoking crack if she thinks it is appropriate. From your history with her, it is clearly not the right intention.

I''m up for katamari''s idea...anyone on PS near you to volunteer as a "driver"?

 

[bee*]

Oh my gosh, she''s wearing a wedding gown to your wedding

I have no words.