What to do when you feel your diamond is *gasp* too large??

[Hest88]

Hm. I wear a 4.25 e-ring and a 4.5 right hand ring...I would never feel comfortable with a 3 carat stone. I took a look at your thread and it's certainly a gorgeous stone. However, I totally see what you mean. I think it overwhelms your hand.

However, I do agree you should wear it a bit to see if you get more comfortable with it. Also, it means that if you downgrade, you'll have a better sense of what size to downgrade too rather than reflexively choosing something that may end up *too* small.

ETA: OTOH, I remember Light's thread referenced above, and I don't think her ring was proportionally too large for her hand. Granted, there's a huge diff between a ~1.5 and a 3 carat ring.

 

[Lula]

I, too, think it''s the setting that''s causing it to look so large. Don''t get me wrong -- it''s a large diamond, and you have a small ring size. But you have long, slender fingers, and I think with the right setting, it will look more delicate.

Do you live in a city where this is a Tiffany''s (or can you visit Leon in person?). That way you could try on some settings with large diamonds in more delicate settings.

Also, I agree with those who suggested that you may not want to wear this ring all the time. My diamond is not large by PS standards, but my setting is ornate -- too ornate for where I work. So I have decided to just wear an eternity band on the days when I''m not comfortable wearing my ring.

Your diamond is stunning, and it may just take awhile to get used to wearing such a large piece of jewelry.

 

[CharmyPoo]

Yes - it can happen. I was feeling my diamond was too large but it is no where near as large as yours! I got used to it after a while but I wouldn''t want to go larger for a daily e-ring.

I looked at the photos of your ring and it is gorgeous. I agree that the setting may be what is making it look too big. A more delicate setting that is not as low set will change the effect. A very very thin halo would work.

 

[Dancing Fire]

it may look big now,but don''t forget a diamond will shrink 10 points per yr.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Date: 3/30/2010 1:55:11 PM
Author: brown_eyes
I''m going to go out on a limb and back your feelings up on this one.


I should first say that your stone is GORGEOUS!


For me, there is such a thing as too big. I''m not saying that I cant appreciate beautiful honkers on other peoples hands, it''s just not me. Not sure if that makes sense, but the bottom line is I know how you''re feeling.


If it were me, I would give it a little time and if you still really arent comfortable, downsize some. No shame in that.

honestly I agree with this - but not necessarily that your diamond is too big - I think it`s gorgeous it`s a personal thing and only you know what you`re comfortable with

 

[Dreamer_D]

To put diamond size into perspective, check out the amazing rocks in this thread!!

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/nyc-trip-report-upgrade-shopping-has-begun.75825/

 

[bgray]

I love your ring as is. Its big yet gracious and grounded in that pronged bezel. I think a halo would be too much on that stone but I like understated. I myself have a large stone so I am not anti large stones but I think big stones can stand on their own. I would leave it as is--

 

[that_someone_special]

Date: 3/30/2010 10:29:16 PM
Author: dreamer_d
To put diamond size into perspective, check out the amazing rocks in this thread!!

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/nyc-trip-report-upgrade-shopping-has-begun.75825/

omg

 

[lightningbug]

Date: 3/30/2010 5:27:39 PM
Author: dreamer_d
Her name was lightingbug, here is the thread: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/pictures-of-my-cushion-halo-and-a-question.136387/


FWIW, she decided to rock it.

I went on vacation, came home, and felt my ears burning. Was it the sunshine, or PS?

K+D=4, your diamond is stupendously beautiful.

It''s not just the size ~ it''s the facet pattern and the brightness of the stone -- it''s just gorgeous. Congratulations, and kudos to your FI for being so involved in this project with you. What a sweetie!

Honestly, I can''t answer your question about whether your size issue will go away after awhile, because 3 carats and 1.5 carats are in different leagues, LOL. What I can say is that for me, a ring that began as uncomfortably large has started to feel more ''normal'' after wearing it every single day. In the past, I''d put it on, go outside, start to get paranoid about people looking at my hand, then take it off and wear a band to work. I didn''t wear it enough to get used to it, so I was always startled by the contrast. Wearing it daily has inoculated me somewhat, and now I typically just wear it, admire it, and enjoy the complements. (Now, we could have a whole philosophical discussion about whether a person should have to ease herself into wearing something that makes her [perhaps legitimately] uncomfortable... but I''m not going there tonight.)

In your case, that diamond is so AMAZING that I think you owe it to your future self to give yourself a chance to adjust. Personally, I think you might consider removing it from the bezel so that you can enjoy the stone from all angles, and so that you can adjust to its ''baseline'' size. You may find that you love it without any extra oomph. Basically, one of three things will happen:

a. If you can''t adjust to it on its own, then you have your answer -- you won''t be comfortable with a halo, b/c it will appear even bigger. In that case, you may consider trading for a smaller stone that makes you feel more at ease.
b. If you adjust to its baseline spread but don''t want to go larger, and if you''re still craving a halo, then get yourself a pretty halo RHR!
c. If you adjust to it and think you can handle more, then a very delicate halo might be an option.

I predict that (b) might be your outcome, but whichever route you go, have fun with it!

 

[Monnyjay]

Date: 3/30/2010 1:40:25 PM
Author: kenny
A diamond is too big only when it dislocates your shoulder.

Love this.......................

 

[K+D=4]

Good morning!

I just wanted to post quick before I head off to work that I have definitely been reading the posts from you all, thank you thank you thank you!!! I will have a longer reply when I return home today but I just wanted to say a huge thank you for giving insight and advice on this for me!!

Have a great afternoon and I will report back tonight!

 

[HVVS]

A low mount basket head and keep the stone as low as possible might help it balance better. People used to wear those is a low fishtail head with triple prongs. The head had a wide base that spread the weight and helped keep the ring from spinning. The setting you have probably perches the diamond a little high plus it adds at least 2mm to 3mm of diameter to it, guesstimating from the photos. But you''re right, it is a lot of diamond for your hand.

 

[ms.halo]

I think your diamond will seem smaller and more delicate with a micro-halo. I think Leon is an excellent option and I think you''ll be surprised at how different your diamond will seem once it''s in a delicate setting.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I''d get a $250 simple basket solitaire setting and see it is changed how I felt about the diamond.

 

[lil425]

I didn''t think there was such a thing as too big!

 

[K+D=4]

Hello, thank you ALL for your support and thank you for your kind compliments on my ring!! This community is great!

I get what most of you are saying about wearing the ring around more. Recently I have been still sporting the eternity band and unless we are going out to dinner or something I have been leaving my e-ring at home. I really do feel awkward about wearing it, I am so proud and happy that J put all the effort into finding the right stone, but it''s still hard to swallow that I''m actually wearing it!

We are in the process of purchasing our second home, so it is not out of sorts for me to have a larger diamond, besides, when J decides to make a big purchase he researches and researches and shops around before deciding to get the best price and quality. J has his sportbikes and I have some pretty jewelry, haha! J is the youngest in his family and we won''t tread there, but they have all definitely said their piece about spending such a large sum on a diamond. I overheard FSIL saying she "looked up" the price of a diamond in our size and it was "WELL" over $85k.

Regarding the setting. J designed it soley to be used as a temporary wear-it-now ring. Apparently he dislikes those 4-pronged solitaires that are usually used short-term and wanted something a bit more personal, frankly I don''t blame him, he did a pretty good job. I think I will eventually find a nice Sapphire to put in there for my daughter to wear when she is older. I agree with those who have said that the halo is a bit large and probably adds more mm size than necessary. We haven''t contacted Leon yet because I don''t want to bother him with piddly emails until we are fully ready to pull the trigger and commit to something. From my understanding, he does not like to be bothered with quote questions? I really really do *love* his thin pave halo''s....

I do like the idea of possibly removing the stone and setting it into something non-halo, perhaps that killer solitaire from Erica Grace? I will talk it over with J and get his feelings, I definitely don''t want to step on his toes at all!!

 

[cara]

Wowzers, that is one awesome stone. I love transitionals.

I had a little bit of difficulty adjusting to my mere 1 ct stone, and yours is definitely a looker and quite a bit bigger, so I totally understand your feelings!

But I have to agree that it is **so** beautiful that I hope you put it in a more appropriate setting and wear it comfortably. It may not be an every every day ring, but hopefully you can get used to it and wear it more frequently than just for special occasions as well.

While I am loathe to counsel anyone away from LM for style reasons, you may consider browsing the single stone website or leaning towards something with a vintage feel. For some reason I feel that a plain solitaire (or even your modern-looking temp setting) is not quite right for that wonderful stone. LM can certainly do something in that style, but it might help to give you ideas about what you want.

 

[K+D=4]

Sizzle, Lurchie, Momof3, ceclily, yssie, EB, swingirl, Hest88, bgray, I think you''re right, time may be what I need!

swedishbean, every time I see your SN I think of swedish fish! Yum! haha! I didn''t even think about the possiblity of losing $ on downsizing, good point!

brown_eyes, mominvera, Raikai, thank you for the advice and the lovely compliments! I can drool and drool on PS over stones and rings I love but it would be a completely different story to be able to rock those babies! It may just be a mindset for me right now, but I''m glad you can feel for me, thank you!

Black Jade, 60 and 32 carats?! Holy smokes! I wonder if shrinkage ever set in for them?

caribqueen, I think we are planning a Tiffany trip this wknd do do just that, try on some halo''s! Great suggestion!

iluvcarats, BOTH of your settings (the Michael B and the original setting) I LOVE!! They are both bookmarked in my favorite pages for my own referance! I kid you not. I am glad you are happy with your set, both are stunning, but I love the look of the Michael B''s!

Dreamer_D, thank you for the links, I read her posts and they have been helpful! The ROCKS in that other thread....Wowsa! AMAZING!! Ps, love the pups in your avatar!

Amethyste, thank you for your kind words. Lemony is a beauty, and your story behind her is even more heartwarming!! I can the points made that it may just be the setting that is giving me this awkward feeling.

gardengloves, thank you for your compliments and congratulations on your own upgrade!!

I have yet to experience any diamond growing or shrinking, but am glad that yours is growing! OT, I love hydrangeas but seem to turn them a blah green, yours in your avatar are beautiful!

wsblue, your ring is stunning, I saw your tiffany setting before you reset it, both were gorgeous! I love how low the stone sat in both!

Kittybean, I am hoping, if all the stars align and the temperature and humidity are correct that we will use Leon for our ring! I hope to have the same feeling you have about your ring!

Waterlily, thank you for the lovely words! My stone is prong set with a bezelish halo? I have described it so many different ways! haha! I love your set btw!

LaurenthePartier and Charmypoo, you have such a gorgeous collection of jewels! Yes, I am hoping that whatever Leon advises will be the thinnest, most delicate halo ever. I don''t even know what minimal size melee is acceptable in a diamond halo?

tyty333, your post made me laugh! I love it! ANd I''m sure J will love that advice too!!

Carey, I love the advice you put about wearing it and feeling the love that gave it to me! That is going to be my quote now if you don''t mind!!

Sarahp, was it Wink that did your setting? you have a gorgeous ring!

Lightningbug, thank you for chiming into my thread! Your ring is STUNNING, I am glad you decided to stick with it! The side view is gorgeous! Every point you made in your post here is how I have felt, I am greatful that I am not the only one who has gone through this with my ring. Thank you for your helpful and kind words.

To all that I missed, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I am glad there is a diamond community out there for people like me to come to whether its for advice, to drool, or to laugh....you guys are all great!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I looked at your original thread again and really think before you do anything drastic you should try setting it in a more unobtrusive setting -- I love the setting you have, don''t get me wrong, but it easily adds 4-5mm in diameter to the diamond! That is like wearing a 10ct rock

Or just wear it and let DSS set in I suppose.

 

[softly softly]

I''m late to the discussion, but I just wanted to add that your ring is absolutely my all time favourite here on P.S. While I can understand your discomfort, I think you have a one of a kind killer rock. I also adore your current setting, but I hope things work out and you get the Leon setting of your dreams.

 

[gardengloves]

Thanks for the sweet comments about my hydrangeas. They are coming in bigger and better than ever after a long snowy rainy northeast winter.

Sorry about the remarks from FSIL about price. How uncomfortable that must make you feel. My ex SIL used to price everything too, so I can relate to the discomfort, but don't let it rain on your happiness. - Just don't wear the ring to gatherings where you know people will make remarks that make you uncomfortable. " Oh I forgot, I left it in the steam cleaner", or whatever.

J may be the youngest, but he's a big boy and sure knows his mind- he picked a stone for his girl, and did a good job. So glad you are seriously considering Leon Mege for ultimate setting. That stone deserves the very best, and I hope you will enjoy years of happiness with it.

 

[tigerhearted]

Wow what a stone!! OECs are my fav, the new stone for my e-ring is an OEC.

But I'm in agreement with you and Brown Eyes. I would personally not want to go any higher than my original 1.09 stone, and I'm actually down-sizing from that after wearing it for a year. ~.75 is my preferred size. I'd feel completely ridiculous wearing a 3ct and I'm a size 6. Large stones don't suite me or my style (I'm a subtle less-is-more type, and don't like feeling conspicuous), not to mention being totally impractical for my lifestyle. Heck I don't even wear my 1.3ct oval sapphire unless I'm dressing up because it feels like too much! For me a 3ct is something to admire and appreciate on other people or in a jewelry store, but would never choose to wear myself. My area might have something to do with it too..we're a down-to-earth small community -- my 2 local bridesmaids (we went to high school here together) think that my 50-person $15k budget wedding is extravagant, but I don't care lol. >.>

BUT it's all a matter of personal preference! My FSIL has a HUGE rock...it's a 3-stone emerald cut, and the center stone looks like 4ct, no joke...and all she ever wears daily are yoga pants and tshirts lol! But she has a super strong and bold personality, and very expensive taste, so it totally works for her. She is also in a small down-to-earth community and has a very active lifestyle (hard-core athlete). I'm not sure how she can stand wearing such a huge ring given her lifestyle and raising 3 kids, but there you have it. XD

(FWIW, your FSIL's estimate may not be far off...there's a 3.01 G VS1 at oldworlddiamonds.com up for $80k

http://www.oldworlddiamonds.com/inv.php?SHAPE=EU&PAGE=42&SORT=WEIGHT Of course, there are similar stones up for ~$25k so who knows XD)

 

[jan can]

I totally understand that, because you don''t like being the center of attention, you feel different when wearing your beautiful ring. Your fSIL sounds jealous and knows she can upset you. Her looking up the price out of curiousity is one thing; telling you she did it is bad manners. Your family and friends may be overwhelmed by your amazing ring and feel they can make whatever comments they want to you. If you don''t react, eventually they''ll forget about discussing this.

J put a great deal of effort and love into this and his feelings are more important than outspoken family members. Work with him on a new setting. Wear your ring with pride knowing that it is a symbol of J''s feelings for you.

 

[Lula]

Thanks for the compliment on my ring, K+D=4. Yes, Wink did the setting; it was great working with him. He''s set a number of large OEC''s for clients over the years, and he works with Ocean Pearlman, who did Gypsy''s ring. It might be worth an e-mail or phone call to him, to see what he suggests.

I also like your idea -- I think it was your idea -- of considering one of the new JBEG settings. They seem to be designed to flatter large, lovely old cut diamonds.

Your diamond is so wonderful, and how nice that J put all the work and research into it. I''m with the others who say just ignore those who have a problem with cost or size of the diamond. There''s nothing more personal than a diamond given in love from one person to another -- everybody else should just butt out of it! After some time has passed the ring will cease to be novel, and the wags will move on to something else. (Can you tell I''ve had experience in this area?

)

 

[Gypsy]

Have you seen the Julia by Jewels by Erica Grace? It has a pave donut just under the crown and 8 prongs and is one of the most beautiful settings I have seen a long time. I think it would be a great way to get the pave you want without increasing the stone''s appearance.