What to do with a diamond from a previous engagement?

[16ocean]

Brenden- I hear what you are saying about the need to be financially responsible during these tough economic times. Even with a stable job jewelry and travel are two luxuries that many Americans are taking a tough second look at.

I really second what the previous poster stated: “Pretend you didn't have this diamond at all. What would you do then? I know and understand your budget is tight (ours was too) but a credit towards a new diamond is better than no credit.”

If I was in your fiancee's shoes it would mean so much to me to have an engagement ring that was -ours- and the happy memories associated with it.
New life new ring.

 

[mjertl]

My boyfriend was married and divorced in the past. I have no issues with him having that past (I was in a longer relationship with a boyfriend I lived with but never married. Whatever.), but in no way would I want the same diamond or ring that he gave her! Everytime I looked at it (which would be all the time), I'd remember that it was what he bought her when he was planning forever with her. I want to see his plans for forever with ME when I look at my ring. I am not a fancy girl - not looking at rocks bigger than about a carat, not wanting to spend a billion dollars on a ring (even though BF and I both have great jobs and make good money - there are just better things to spend money on I think) - BUT I wouldn't care how much it would cost to get me a new ring and rock... I figure, if you hadn't been engaged in the past you would have had to buy "SCGF" a ring from scratch anyway, so the fact that you can apply an old ring to this purchase is just a bonus.

I have a great career…it pays my bills and I am able to enjoy life without financial stress. However, I am very modest and can’t justify spending more than $10,000 on a stone, e-ring, and wedding band. Being able to apply upgrade the stone and receive 100% of what I paid is not a bonus when you consider diamond prices have increased significantly. If diamond prices decreased that would be a bonus. The fact that I have $X amount to apply to another stone is irrelevant as my budget has not changed…I am still subject to higher diamond prices.

In the end you have to decide what is more important:
1. A ‘new’ diamond that WILL be smaller due to diamond prices
2. A diamond that is at least X ct, X color, or X clarity
3. A setting of your choosing

Pick two.

I have searched PS and was hesitant to post in this thread as I knew very few PSers would accept a ‘used’ diamond. I was merely trying to relate to the OP, so thanks for your selfish, materialistic opinion “BUT I wouldn't care how much it would cost to get me a new ring and rock”…even though I didn’t ask for it.

Um, whoa... My post was completely not directed at you or anyone else, nor was it meant to be negative. I'm sorry it was interpreted that way by you, but it really wasn't meant to be! I completely agree with you that there are more important things to spend money on than a piece of jewelry, and I agree that it's unfortunate that prices of diamonds/metal have (like everything else) have gone up. If my BF still had his ex's ring though, I would want him to apply it to a new ring for me, even if that meant I got a smaller stone - I don't really care about the size of my rock or what other people think about it as much as I would care about knowing it had been on his ex's finger and had originally been purchased for her. I don't think that makes me selfish or materialistic at all (and no one I know would say that those traits apply to me...) it just means I know my emotions. And honestly, in your situation I might feel a little different since you never actually proposed. For me, his ex wife wore the ring for years. At any rate, I wish you all the best and I'm sure you'll end up with an end product your girlfriend loves. Sorry to have offended, it was entirely unintentional and I think you took what I said the wrong way.

 

[crbl999]

My boyfriend was married and divorced in the past. I have no issues with him having that past (I was in a longer relationship with a boyfriend I lived with but never married. Whatever.), but in no way would I want the same diamond or ring that he gave her! Everytime I looked at it (which would be all the time), I'd remember that it was what he bought her when he was planning forever with her. I want to see his plans for forever with ME when I look at my ring. I am not a fancy girl - not looking at rocks bigger than about a carat, not wanting to spend a billion dollars on a ring (even though BF and I both have great jobs and make good money - there are just better things to spend money on I think) - BUT I wouldn't care how much it would cost to get me a new ring and rock... I figure, if you hadn't been engaged in the past you would have had to buy "SCGF" a ring from scratch anyway, so the fact that you can apply an old ring to this purchase is just a bonus.

I have a great career…it pays my bills and I am able to enjoy life without financial stress. However, I am very modest and can’t justify spending more than $10,000 on a stone, e-ring, and wedding band. Being able to apply upgrade the stone and receive 100% of what I paid is not a bonus when you consider diamond prices have increased significantly. If diamond prices decreased that would be a bonus. The fact that I have $X amount to apply to another stone is irrelevant as my budget has not changed…I am still subject to higher diamond prices.

In the end you have to decide what is more important:
1. A ‘new’ diamond that WILL be smaller due to diamond prices
2. A diamond that is at least X ct, X color, or X clarity
3. A setting of your choosing

Pick two.

I have searched PS and was hesitant to post in this thread as I knew very few PSers would accept a ‘used’ diamond. I was merely trying to relate to the OP, so thanks for your selfish, materialistic opinion “BUT I wouldn't care how much it would cost to get me a new ring and rock”…even though I didn’t ask for it.

Um, whoa... My post was completely not directed at you or anyone else, nor was it meant to be negative. I'm sorry it was interpreted that way by you, but it really wasn't meant to be! I completely agree with you that there are more important things to spend money on than a piece of jewelry, and I agree that it's unfortunate that prices of diamonds/metal have (like everything else) have gone up. If my BF still had his ex's ring though, I would want him to apply it to a new ring for me, even if that meant I got a smaller stone - I don't really care about the size of my rock or what other people think about it as much as I would care about knowing it had been on his ex's finger and had originally been purchased for her. I don't think that makes me selfish or materialistic at all (and no one I know would say that those traits apply to me...) it just means I know my emotions. And honestly, in your situation I might feel a little different since you never actually proposed. For me, his ex wife wore the ring for years. At any rate, I wish you all the best and I'm sure you'll end up with an end product your girlfriend loves. Sorry to have offended, it was entirely unintentional and I think you took what I said the wrong way.

I appreciate your response and I do believe your post was interpreted incorrectly. I apologize for using harsh words (selfish and materialistic) especially when you had the best intentions.