What was/ is your most difficult decision or choice?

[Gypsy]

There are so many 'big' desicions in this wedding planning process. Which was the most momentus or hardest or most stressful decision you had to make in your opinion?


Oh, and please say why it was such a BFD, if it was.

For me the Dress is my achilles heel.
Poll won't let you choose more than one, feel free to list back ups!

 

[neatfreak]

It was the dress for me. I was a *cough* three dress bride...

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/13/2008 10:45:49 PM
Author: neatfreak
It was the dress for me. I was a *cough* three dress bride...

I''m well on my way to that honey. LMAO. First was a Christos I GAVE to my BF and who isn''t even going to WEAR the gorgeous gown to her wedding (and I can''t ask for it back to sell it, which I would totally do, right after getting cleaned, they smoke). Now it''s the Rivini. And I''m covetously eyeing Paloma Blancas as we speak.

Totally understand. I LOVED your gown on your especially with that perfect shrug. You looked beautiful!

 

[basil]

For us, I think the hardest decision was the venue. We really went back and forth between two places, but I''m happy with our decision now. After that, things sort of started falling into place.

 

[E B]

The decor was the hardest, I think. The dress wasn't such a big deal, because I took a TON of time to decide. And I KNEW the venue was it the moment we got engaged.

As for the flowers, table linens, setup, dishes, centerpieces, etc...all of that stressed me out the most.

 

[mjso]

I selected the venue, even though I''m not that far along in planning yet. (Haven''t even started looking at dresses, I''m semi-avoiding it atm)

Really it has been more of the general "when/where" then the exact venue, but I though venue worked. As I''ve mentioned before, the FI and I have lived in 4 states now, with family all over and I feel like no matter where we select I''m not going to be 100% okay with it until it is just too late to change my mind.

But I suck at all decisions, so I''m sure as I get to the next big decision I''ll have a reason why that sucks too.

 

[Harleigh]

It wasn''t a choice up there so I picked the pills to keep from killing others

, but I''d have to say "venue," meaning location as we had a really hard time deciding on Maui, then WHERE on Maui, etc... It''s been a huge pain in the rear!

After that, I''d have to say the dress...yes, I''m going to look at different ones on the 26th...and you do NOT want to know how many I''ve actually bought already on ebay.

Suffice it to say, I''m thinking of opening my own bridal shop for petite chicks one day soon!

 

[goldenstar]

I'm having serious venue issues. Everything I liked was very expensive. The ones we could easily afford didn't strike me. I want something contemporary, clean (design-wise) and elegant.

I finally found something with great potential so hopefully it works out.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I am very opinionated so I had no trouble deciding on things and my FI likes my taste enough to "let" me do most of the work.
I just cut all input from FMIL out which helps a lot.
For us, it was deciding to have a wedding at all. I REALLY wanted to elope to Barecelona and my FI wanted to have a regular wedding. Becuase I have a lot of older family members with no kids, this was the closest thing to their daughter getting married they are ever going to have so I couldn''t really just leave. I still agonize over whether I should have fought harder for what I wanted and I suspect I will have regrets doing it this way, but I didn''t have much choice.

 

[TravelingGal]

My toughest decision was played out right here on PS: Whether or not to tell TGuy that his choice of guestbook made me want to jump into a funeral casket.

 

[aljdewey]

Ok, I voted dress, but then upon reflection, I need to change that. (Sorry, can't change vote, so subtract one of the 'dress' votes)

I had most dreaded the dress thing; worried I'd not find anything I'd feel good in/love. DREADED the whole dress thing like you can't believe.

As it turned out, I found my dress fairly easily. That was a pleasant surprise.

What confounded me? The WEDDING RING! I tried on more wedding rings in six months than I thought was possible....even bought one and then realized it was a TOTAL mistake. I was fortunate the jeweler took it back! I FINALLY reached a decision about 5 weeks before the wedding (nothing like cutting it a little close!), and it was the right one.

I was perilously close to marrying with no ring! LOL

 

[mimzy]

the hardest part has been the venue. mostly because whenever i find a place that i like in our budget (VERY hard to do) it gets vetoed for one reason or another

. it''s been EXTREMELY frustrating trying to get all parties involved (FI, my parents, his parents, me) to be okay with a place. we STILL haven''t found a place, because my parents (one set at least) are being extremely picky. It''s making me really upset, actually.....

sigh.

 

[Harleigh]

Date: 1/13/2008 11:25:50 PM
Author: TravelingGal
My toughest decision was played out right here on PS: Whether or not to tell TGuy that his choice of guestbook made me want to jump into a funeral casket.

LOL! Every time this comes up, it helps put everything back into perspective for me!

Thanks again, TGal!

 

[firebirdgold]

Dress because it caused the most personal anguish and self doubt. It was not easy finding something that was flattering and wouldn''t look idiotic next to a groom wearing shorts. Mostly the flattering part, I was scared of how the photos would turn out.

But now that I think about it, the groom''s attire was a pretty close second! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a shorts based outfit that works for a wedding?? (Thank you Tommy Bahamas! However an unshaven dh in that outfit looked disturbingly like a drug dealer from Panama.)

Oddly, New Mexico was strangely lacking in tropical dressy yet casual attire in January. Go figure. There was also the drama of internet shopping and shipping with the lost wedding shirt.

But in the end, he looked great (freshly shaved) and I looked great, and I actually enjoy looking at our photos! So it was all worth it.


Btw, Thank you PSers for your support over my dress drama last year!

 

[lucy.lucy.80]

Dress and venue were pretty easy....our biggest issue is guest list! FI and I want a small wedding of about 100 people (our venue holds 125 max) and I have a pretty big family so it makes it kind of difficult.

 

[april diamonds]

I was going to say venue because at first I was having a hard time finding any place that was in our budget, in our area, and something we actually LIKED. But on a whim, we stumbled upon a great place that was in our budget, wasn''t too far from where we live and we loved!

However, now the serious problem is decor. I am having a realllly hard time trying to decide what I want the feel of the wedding to be. How I want it to look and whenever I come up with ideas I have problesm figuring out if it''s in the budget and if it can be even done. So right now it''s becoming a major headache.

Also, for the "Others" category I''d also have to say LOGISTICS! Figuring out how to move our 16 people bridal party and families around and timing for photos, tea ceremony, hair/makeup is jsut driving me insane!!!

 

[sumbride]

I said venue, but what I really meant was "Location!" because we had to decide between my home town, another town in my home state, where we are living now, areas around where we live now, and a complete destination wedding. Once we picked my home town, everything else pretty much fell into place, but it was an agonizing time trying to decide, and nobody would really tell me anything beyond "whatever you want". Of course, the people that were lobbying for it to be somewhere other than where we live now then spent lots of time complaining about how much it cost to get to where we had it. Ah well, figures.

 

[sap483]

I went with venue. It took us 6 months to decide where to get married (both general location and specific venue). After that was decided, I have felt like the rest has come more easily.

 

[swimmer]

I put invite list because it has been difficult. With a wedding where most people have to travel I feel sometimes like those invited either have pressure to travel there (no direct flights, it is a spendy pain), or like we are asking for gifts... Friends say that this is not the case, but I still feel angst about who to invite.

My cousin got married at our venue, and it was the only place I considered after my father said that his boat yard was really too covered in goose poop for people to hang out there in dresses. Also, I just can''t find a wedding band that fits with an EC sapphire. I do want to wear the bands together...can''t figure out what to do with that... So my brainspace has been occupied with the guestlist and the wedding band.

 

[jcrow]

the dress was hands down the hardest desicion i made regarding the wedding. i just couldn''t decide! and it was extremely frustrating.
i couldn''t find what i wanted anywhere. i wanted plain, strapless, silk satin, dropped waist, long train. what did i end up with?! a freakin'' reem. farthest from plain. yes i loved it. but it was so hard to pick a dress especially since i couldn''t find what i pictured in my head.
and every dress i found that i somewhat liked i analized it to DEATH! i wanted to stop, but i couldn''t. haha.

there were sooo many gorgeous dresses out there and too much pressure to pick THE ONE perfect dress. one which will forever be your wedding dress. it''s in every picture and what all the guests remember - or at least that''s how i saw it in my head. so darn stressful!

anyway, it was down to the wire and i had at 3-5 dresses to decide from. i had dreams about them. they were all i could think about. i just didn''t know how i was going to decide. and it totally stressed me out. until finally somehow one dress appeared in my head right before i dosed off to sleep. it was screaming "i''m the one." hahaha. i went to sleep thinking if i wake up and i still feel the same way, i''m ordering it RIGHT away. and i did.

 

[dani13]

Date: 1/14/2008 9:55:46 AM
Author: sap483
I went with venue. It took us 6 months to decide where to get married (both general location and specific venue). After that was decided, I have felt like the rest has come more easily.

Just like sap483, it was the venue for us....We must have looked at about 10-12 different venues before we picked the place where we inevitably held our wedding. We just couldnt decide what kind of venue we wanted....we looked at beach locations, old hotels, lofts in NYC, old banks/museums...you name it!!
It was getting ridiculous. But once we saw at the place we actually ended up chosing, we both knew it was "the one." It just felt right to have our wedding there.

Once the location was chosen, it was much easier to visualize the actual wedding and pick everything else out. But boy, was deciding on a place a pain in the butt!!!

 

[misysu2]

The dress. I bought my first dress on a whim while I was home for the summer and regretted it immediately, and of course, no returns allowed. My Dad paid for it and I felt really guilty for wanting another one. It really made me sick with guilt. Probably an irrational amount. I still feel sick about it if I think about it too much.

And I can''t say whether I made the right decision getting another one because dress #2 hasn''t arrived yet!

 

[tenfour]

the only tough thing was telling most of my family/friends that they aren''t invited. we wanted things super small. 10 people. i honestly don''t have much planning to do, which is exactly how i wanted it. no stress, all fun, good wine, good food.

 

[tberube]

I knew/know what I want in just about every detail - I have a particular dress style, I already knew vendors, loved the first venue I looked at, designed my own invites (which was way easier than I thought it would be) - but when you start talking to me about the centerpieces and decorations at the place, my hands get clammy and I start to get a serious cold sweat. I know I''ll figure it all out when the time is right, but gosh - I''m so stuck when it comes to that stuff!!

 

[Pandora II]

Music and entertainment has been my biggest headache.

FI wanted one thing, I wanted another.

Music is not a huge thing for us, so I don't really want to blow the budget on it - my parents vetoed the ipod - and there is next to nothing for under $4k over here.

I am hoping I have solved the entertainment bit, but I'm still working on music. I have the prelude (Elgar's Enigma Variations 'Nimrod'), the processional (Ennio Morricone's 'Playing Love' from The Legend of 1900) and the recessional (Mozart's Overture to Marriage of Figaro), but am still stuck on the 2 pieces for the Signing of the Register.

I have found an organist, who is an old family friend and the music teacher at my venue - it's a school most of the year, and the English Heritage have it in the summer. My mother told me that she thinks the organ may well need tuning, so now I need to find an organ tuner...

I've been lucky on most things - I knew the venue I wanted years ago, I haven't tried on any dresses - just designed my own. Photographer, Food, Flowers, BM's, Stationery has all been super-easy.

The guest-list has been a slight trauma, but I'm getting there!

Above all, after reading other threads here, I am so grateful that I have the most amazing parents and in-laws who have let me have 100% control, have been nothing but supportive and helpful - and offered to pay. I am very blessed (in an atheist kind of way...

)

 

[decodelighted]

For us it was VENUE!! We went from Italian Villa to Fijian elopement to Country Barn, repeat 2x ... and then, when we finally found a barn we liked it was a hard decision to take it or not because we really felt like it was a "rip off". They could charge what they wanted because it''s a one-of-a-kind location ... it was 50% of what we *wanted* to spend on the whole wedding (LOCATION ALONE, no food!) but, ultimately, it set the tone for everything else. It was avail. the weekend we wanted in prime fall season for this area, and we did it. TOUGH FREAKIN PILL TO SWALLOW when you *know* its "wasted" $$$. That it *shouldn''t* be anywhere near that amount ... but you don''t really have a choice if you want *that* wedding vibe.

Over a year later, still glad we did it though. Out of all of our ideas it was the most "us" ... and we couldn''t have had the particular day we had without that darn venue.

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 1/13/2008 10:45:49 PM
Author: neatfreak
It was the dress for me. I was a *cough* three dress bride...

For me it was the dress too. And if I had been able to afford it at that point in time, I would have been a 3 dress bride too!

 

[Independent Gal]

For me the hardest thing so far has been trying to keep myself from voicing - never mind acting on - any of the extremely childish thoughts I''ve had about ways to keep Crazy Aunt F from coming to my wedding. I don''t think I ever realized exactly what a mean b!t@h I can be until I found myself quietly smiling about the possibilities inherent in horse tranquilizers. I''m pretty shocked at myself!

Oh! The shame! The shame!

 

[zoebartlett]

I voted ''other.'' I''m not the quickest decision maker in the world, so everything we''ve planned so far has had me hemming and hawing. Overall, I can''t complain too much because we haven''t had too much drama but many of the decisions we''ve had to make were difficult.

I just wrote out a really long post describing what I found difficult and when I read over it, it sounded pretty negative. Then I realized why. Decision making isn''t my greatest strength, and that''s what wedding planning is all about. If I had to choose ONE thing though, it would be that the wedding has turned into something completely different than what I had wanted. Or thought I wanted. I don''t know. I didn''t want a traditional wedding gown. I now have one. I didn''t want more than 80 people. We have roughly twice that (minus maybe 20). We didn''t think we wanted a bridal party. We now have a MOH and best man. It somehow snowballed from a simple celebration to a pretty traditional affair (for a lot of things anyway). It''s funny how that worked out. I''m excited but it''s just different.

 

[Gypsy]

Zoe, I can totally identifiy with that, and I think many brides can. You have a vision in your head, and then it meets reality and POW, all of the sudden you look back, don''t know how you got where you are exactly but your looking at a different wedding than you thought.

Just in ONE WEEK, we''ve gone from a 45-60 person brunch no frills (no dancing nothing) wedding at a small restaurant somewhere to a vineyard wedding (though I''m still working on that, the cost of alcohol is killing me) with a 90 person guest list where I''m PRAYING only 75 people show up. With DANCING! And a DJ (thanks to FI!).