What was/ is your most difficult decision or choice?

[ringster]

For me it is photography. We found our venue pretty quickly as well as worked out the music stuff early on. I have some dress options and I'm ok with them. But the photog - this has been a very difficult decision. Everything is costing more than I expected but with the photog I really have had a difficult decision on whether to go mid or high end.

I think I'm a bit more concerned about this because I have a bunch of relatives who we have been out of contact with and it will be sort of a family reunion for us all. Also, one of my siblings passed away about a year and I really feel the importance of capturing the moments you have with your loved ones. I was so grateful that I caught my brother in a video clip before he passed away. It was kind of a miracle because he was out of it most of the time in the months leading to his passing and I just happened to capture him in one of his most lucid moments - he was almost himself again. That video means so much to me.

ETA : I totally agree with you ZoeB and Gypsy. Things have turned out unexpectedly for me. I had a set idea but things started to form organically. The nice thing is some of the unexpected things will bring an even more personal feel to the wedding.

 

[Sabine]

I picked flowers and decorations. Flowers weren''t a big deal to me, but all of the little decorative things are driving me batty! I think it''s because there are just sooo many choices. Plus, the decorations aren''t things we really need. Like chair covers with bow sashes. So I go back and forth about whether to spend the money on these little things or just save the money for something more useful, like an extra outing on the honeymoon. I can''t believe I''m so torn and conflicted over CHAIR COVERS. Honestly, it''s $2 for them to put the covers on and tie the sashes, take them off, and return them. Seems reasonable to me for the uniform look of the room. But then I think, multiply that by 180 chairs, and that''s a nice chunk of change that could actually buy something of use! I still have no idea what I''m going to do...

 

[bee*]

So far my biggest headache has been the photographer. The venue we already knew before we got married and we decided on food, drink and a band pretty quickly, but the photographer thing is the one that we''re analyzing over. I think we might have found our guy and we''re going to meet him mid-february. Have to ring the priest tomorrow to book the church also. I''ll let you know tomorrow if that''s going to be a big headache.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/14/2008 5:48:18 PM
Author: Sabine
I picked flowers and decorations. Flowers weren't a big deal to me, but all of the little decorative things are driving me batty! I think it's because there are just sooo many choices. Plus, the decorations aren't things we really need. Like chair covers with bow sashes. So I go back and forth about whether to spend the money on these little things or just save the money for something more useful, like an extra outing on the honeymoon. I can't believe I'm so torn and conflicted over CHAIR COVERS. Honestly, it's $2 for them to put the covers on and tie the sashes, take them off, and return them. Seems reasonable to me for the uniform look of the room. But then I think, multiply that by 180 chairs, and that's a nice chunk of change that could actually buy something of use! I still have no idea what I'm going to do...

Don't dress the chairs. They're fine naked. Save the money.

See? That was easy.

*snort*

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 1/14/2008 4:37:39 PM
Author: Gypsy
Zoe, I can totally identifiy with that, and I think many brides can. You have a vision in your head, and then it meets reality and POW, all of the sudden you look back, don''t know how you got where you are exactly but your looking at a different wedding than you thought.

Just in ONE WEEK, we''ve gone from a 45-60 person brunch no frills (no dancing nothing) wedding at a small restaurant somewhere to a vineyard wedding (though I''m still working on that, the cost of alcohol is killing me) with a 90 person guest list where I''m PRAYING only 75 people show up. With DANCING! And a DJ (thanks to FI!).

I''m glad I''m not the only one who thinks that way. For me, the thing is, my parents are paying for our reception (my FI''s parents and my FI and I are contributing certain amounts to other things). It''s not a secret to my family or friends that we like things low key and don''t like to attract attention, but it''s kind of hard to NOT have that at a wedding. You know? So while adding people I barely know to the guest list may have been my parents'' idea, I''m sure I contributed to the snowball effect I mentioned earlier in some way as well. If I had put my foot down and refused certain elements, yeah, sure, I could have a wedding that felt more like ME (and FI) but that''s not my style either. Does that make sense?

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/16/2008 6:13:27 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett

Date: 1/14/2008 4:37:39 PM
Author: Gypsy
Zoe, I can totally identifiy with that, and I think many brides can. You have a vision in your head, and then it meets reality and POW, all of the sudden you look back, don''t know how you got where you are exactly but your looking at a different wedding than you thought.

Just in ONE WEEK, we''ve gone from a 45-60 person brunch no frills (no dancing nothing) wedding at a small restaurant somewhere to a vineyard wedding (though I''m still working on that, the cost of alcohol is killing me) with a 90 person guest list where I''m PRAYING only 75 people show up. With DANCING! And a DJ (thanks to FI!).

I''m glad I''m not the only one who thinks that way. For me, the thing is, my parents are paying for our reception (my FI''s parents and my FI and I are contributing certain amounts to other things). It''s not a secret to my family or friends that we like things low key and don''t like to attract attention, but it''s kind of hard to NOT have that at a wedding. You know? So while adding people I barely know to the guest list may have been my parents'' idea, I''m sure I contributed to the snowball effect I mentioned earlier in some way as well. If I had put my foot down and refused certain elements, yeah, sure, I could have a wedding that felt more like ME (and FI) but that''s not my style either. Does that make sense?

Yeah, it makes sense. My mother added like 16 people, at her expense, to our list. And I just figure I have to pick my battles, and that wasn''t one that was important enough to me. It is hard to stop it from snowballing. I''ve had to stop it in all aspects. I wanted $2 a peice invites. I fell for 3.00 each invites. I''ve got time, so I''m looking for less expensive options, but I really want those $3 ones. LOL. The DJ is another. John feels strongly that it adds enough value to have one. I don''t feel strongly enough about it to argue.

Now, there are things I DO feel strongly enough about, so when those come up... I''ll go to bat for them. But in the meantime... that showball is getting bigger and bigger. LOL.

 

[Sabine]

Date: 1/14/2008 5:58:27 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 1/14/2008 5:48:18 PM
Author: Sabine
I picked flowers and decorations. Flowers weren''t a big deal to me, but all of the little decorative things are driving me batty! I think it''s because there are just sooo many choices. Plus, the decorations aren''t things we really need. Like chair covers with bow sashes. So I go back and forth about whether to spend the money on these little things or just save the money for something more useful, like an extra outing on the honeymoon. I can''t believe I''m so torn and conflicted over CHAIR COVERS. Honestly, it''s $2 for them to put the covers on and tie the sashes, take them off, and return them. Seems reasonable to me for the uniform look of the room. But then I think, multiply that by 180 chairs, and that''s a nice chunk of change that could actually buy something of use! I still have no idea what I''m going to do...

Don''t dress the chairs. They''re fine naked. Save the money.

See? That was easy.

*snort*

But the chairs are just SO UGLY!!! They are wooden, painted white, and the white paint is chipping very badly. Also, the seat cushions are a dark green floral. The chair covers themselves are actually free because our wedding coordinator had hoped to have purchased new chairs by now, but it''s the sashes and the installation we''d be paying for. So I guess we could just do chair covers with no sashes, but to me that would just look like a sea of ivory.

 

[Gypsy]

If your gonna stick them in the dress, give it a waistline with a sash. I agree with that. And 360 bucks isn't obscene a lot for this-- but I would bargain set up fee away and ask for a $250 flat fee for all of the sashes, especially since she had told you she was going to get new chairs. Plus, you seem to REALLY hate the chairs. So, think of this as an exercise in decision making. With my me making an arbitrary decision, your true feelings came to light.

 

[AmyBride]

I picked the dress. I probably drove 2000 miles in search of one...and ended up finally settling on a second-hand Casablanca dress that I picked up for $200. And there are still days when I wonder if I really like it.

 

[DMBsGirl]

I''m stressing about invites and entertainment the most right now. Fi''s mom and my mom keep harping about the importance of the first impression with the invites. only thing is that the "wow" first impressions seem to cost an arm and a leg! I''m also stressing about the dj, a sucky dj would ruin the whole night

 

[DMBsGirl]

Date: 1/14/2008 5:48:18 PM
Author: Sabine
I picked flowers and decorations. Flowers weren''t a big deal to me, but all of the little decorative things are driving me batty! I think it''s because there are just sooo many choices. Plus, the decorations aren''t things we really need. Like chair covers with bow sashes. So I go back and forth about whether to spend the money on these little things or just save the money for something more useful, like an extra outing on the honeymoon. I can''t believe I''m so torn and conflicted over CHAIR COVERS. Honestly, it''s $2 for them to put the covers on and tie the sashes, take them off, and return them. Seems reasonable to me for the uniform look of the room. But then I think, multiply that by 180 chairs, and that''s a nice chunk of change that could actually buy something of use! I still have no idea what I''m going to do...

Sabine, you are getting a bargain! My hall charges $5 per chair for covers

 

[Neveah]

Ummmmm.... well you asked.

Paranoid Schizophrenic Alcoholic FBIL, who is a GM who I am totally stressed out about not just about being IN the wedding, but being AT the wedding. And I still have almost 4 months until the big day.

Seriously not a joke.

 

[anchor31]

The dress. I changed my mind 4 times! Thankfully I only bought the last one, and then forced myself to stop looking.

 

[CrownJewel]

Guest list was the most difficult part of wedding planning (so far). FMIL wanted no wedding...just a nice dinner with immediate family. My parents wanted a big wedding. Neither sets of parents had much money to contribute, so FI and I are paying for the wedding. Therefore it is up to us, which of my 5 bajillion relatives to invite. FI only has 1 aunt and a few distant relatives. We went through about 10 versions of our guest list. We went from 40, to 180, to 60...Finally, we decided that we can afford to have a nice wedding for about 80-100 people. That still means a lot of friends and family won''t be invited. <-----That''s the worst part.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/16/2008 9:19:13 PM
Author: Neveah
Ummmmm.... well you asked.

Paranoid Schizophrenic Alcoholic FBIL, who is a GM who I am totally stressed out about not just about being IN the wedding, but being AT the wedding. And I still have almost 4 months until the big day.

Seriously not a joke.

Yeah. That would do it. STRESS. Best of luck.

 

[julabean]

I think the venue was the hardest part for us. FI and I really wanted to have a *nice* wedding in Las Vegas because that''s where we fell in love and have taken several great trips there. We were scheduled to go out to Vegas with my parents to look around at a few of the hotels. The week before, my mother almost drove me batty by calling me all the time wanting information about having the wedding in Seattle. I wasn''t opposed to Seattle, but I didn''t want to start thinking about it until after we had crossed Vegas firmly off our list. Thankfully, we didn''t cross Vegas off of our list, and we''re getting married at the Paris in ... less than 3 months! Oh my god, where did the time go!?

 

[winston26]

Date: 1/13/2008 11:32:43 PM
Author: mimzy
the hardest part has been the venue. mostly because whenever i find a place that i like in our budget (VERY hard to do) it gets vetoed for one reason or another

. it''s been EXTREMELY frustrating trying to get all parties involved (FI, my parents, his parents, me) to be okay with a place. we STILL haven''t found a place, because my parents (one set at least) are being extremely picky. It''s making me really upset, actually.....

sigh.

Boy am I with you mimzy! I am in hell over the venue! Part of it is me being indecisive but when I do make a decision it gets vetoed. I was soooo excited this morning that everyone liked the last location I suggested and then mom sent an email saying it''s too expensive (she''s footing the bill). It''s the same or less amount of money she would have spent on other options but fewer people would attend and she''s looking at price per head. I am 10 seconds away from responding "we will elope then". AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHH I''m very upset also!!