What was the most stressful part of your wedding planning?

[antiquesparkler]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

SP&BC,
I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of that drama. You mentioned like 3 times in your post how awesome and amazing your FI is and it made me smile because that is exactly why you are marrying him! As hard as it will be, try and block out the negative stuff. Politely tell your mom that you would appreciate her not questioning your marriage to FI every other time you see her. You are exactly right, this wedding is for you guys.

As far as friends and cousins inviting their +1’s… Draw the line. On their response card, fill in the name of the invited people. If you get any people that don’t get the hint, send an email/call and let them know you have limited space. That has to be my biggest pet peeve.

And if you need support…. to vent… have questions… need suggestions… advice… anything! You should come and post here! We are here for you!

Recordaras, Awesome advice!

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

Thank you guys. This thread has given me a lot of advice and perspective. I've been seeing a therapist for a few months because there have been a lot of stressors in life right now, and she really helps me stay in line too. We talk a lot about choices we make and the choices others make, and how I need to do more to focus on my own choices, and find a way to accept that I can't change those around me, just my reaction. I need to be reminded of that a lot, because as much as I love my mom and care about her (and vice versa), it's ok to have difference of opinion, and this is my life, not hers. Talking to my fiance has been wonderful because he's a daily reminder of how good our life is together, and how nice it will be to know that we are married and forever partners.

Since then, the planning has been easier to think about, and my sister has actually done a pretty good job in being proactive. She recently asked about when I would be free for the bachelorette party and bridal shower, and who I would like to have at the bachelorette. She's also been very helpful with the invitations, saving us tons of money!

We are sending out invitations in a little over a month, so I hope the family drama will have subsided by then.

And money, oh boy. We're trying so hard to keep costs under control too. It's insane how the price of weddings vary by geographic region, and how much prices go up with jus the word "wedding."

 

[ladidalola]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

The most stressful part of my wedding planning is waiting for vendors to get back to me. One week and no response yet for emails. We've already made a downpayment for these two vendors and I'm getting worried that the service that I will be getting at my wedding will be like as well. Sigh...

 

[antiquesparkler]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

The most stressful part of my wedding planning is waiting for vendors to get back to me. One week and no response yet for emails. We've already made a downpayment for these two vendors and I'm getting worried that the service that I will be getting at my wedding will be like as well. Sigh...

I totally hear you! I don't know what it is but a couple of my vendors have been amazing and the rest must check their email/voicemail on a monthly basis. I think that has become the most stressful thing for me too.

 

[ladidalola]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

Hi antiquesparkler,

I know, right?! It's so frustrating and I've sent numerous emails to this one guy and he still hasn't replied. I'm tempted to just ask for the downpayment back and look for another one

 

[antiquesparkler]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

I would try it. I would list the days you have sent emails and haven't heard back from him. Tell him you are concerned that you two arent communicating well... hahaha. What a mess! That should be the last thing you have to worry about. I'm sorry!

The worst part about my situation... I am having a tiny wedding on a resort in September. Our reception will be held at a nearby resturant that is known in the area for hosting party's and weddings. I called the lady in November and reserved our room. I wanted to send in a down payment but she said she wanted us to look at a menu and make some food choices prior to a down payment (I am assuming so that we could be sure) but she has us down for the room on our date and she would send me the updated menu. Fast forward a month... no menu and no email as promised. So I called in December, she had us down for the right date and she said she would send a menu and details at the beginning of the year. I asked if I could send a down payment as a deposit. She again said that wasnt necessary. Now its the 21st and still nothing... I AM FREAKING OUT.

Luckily we have some back up choices but I will be really bummed if anything happens... I am thinking of giving her until the 15th of February.... I am from the midwest and our destination is up north... so people tend to hibernate in the winter. I am just glad I am not one of her summer brides... She would be getting a phone call every other day. Booo.

Rant over. Thanks for listening.

 

[recordaras]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

Aw, antiquesparkler, I sure hope it all turns out well... It could be that they have had a crazy holiday season, and are only now starting to recover. Or it could be that they are just not very professional.

But in all honesty I thought it was something about me - heck, I can't even get a reply from BGD about a ring! But with vendors it's more annoying than stressful, especially when I really like somebody's work and feel that they could be a good match.
On the other hand I would much rather give my hard earned money to somebody who is capable of responding to my questions and treating them as something important, so maybe it's a blessing in disguise.

 

[antiquesparkler]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

I hope so too, Recordaras! I am thinking that she works all summer long and takes lots of time off in the winter. I am trying not to stress out too much.

I am sorry its happening to you too!

 

[TooPatient]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

Vendor responses (or lack of!!!) are awful!

I hope you're all able to get in touch and that the lack of communication is just a holiday/snow/ice glitch. Make sure your BIG vendors can be counted on (venue especially) and go from there. The "little" stuff can be sorted out or skipped or worked around.

We had a massive flake do our cake and the lady at the winery had the chef add dessert to our dinner so I didn't have to worry about what to do if the cake didn't show up. I was SOOoooo upset trying to reach her (paid in full for the cake) and getting no response. The last couple of months before the wedding she was just gone -- website down, phone connected sometimes and not others (OMG -- 2 weeks to the wedding I did NOT want to hear "The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected or is no longer in service." ), no replies, etc -- then suddenly re-appeared the day before!

My photographer helped me undress.
The lady doing the wine tasting for our group arranged my flowers.
The winery event coordinator set the cake up (it did show up after all that!), took care of cutting, and boxed the rest for us to get when we left. She also did all of our "favors" -- baskets with a bottle of wine, wine glasses, a corkscrew, and chocolate truffles. (talk about communication! This woman returned my e-mails promptly no matter what time of the day or night (I'm not that demanding! I would have happily waited a day or two even!) and even called me on holiday weekends to chat about changes.)

Anyway,
Sorry for the ramble. I'm exhausted and headed for bed. Just wanted to pass on in case it was helpful to anyone. I really don't know what I would have done without the one super reliable vendor. Take chances on some but have at least one or two that you KNOW will be there for you!


oh -- the cake was absolutely delicious! It looked gorgeous. Just exactly what we'd wanted. So awful communication but worth the risk! (and we had dessert with dinner since I felt bad changing the menu on chef the day before so we got to have a spectacular dessert one day and cake the next )

 

[ladidalola]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

I would try it. I would list the days you have sent emails and haven't heard back from him. Tell him you are concerned that you two arent communicating well... hahaha. What a mess! That should be the last thing you have to worry about. I'm sorry!

The worst part about my situation... I am having a tiny wedding on a resort in September. Our reception will be held at a nearby resturant that is known in the area for hosting party's and weddings. I called the lady in November and reserved our room. I wanted to send in a down payment but she said she wanted us to look at a menu and make some food choices prior to a down payment (I am assuming so that we could be sure) but she has us down for the room on our date and she would send me the updated menu. Fast forward a month... no menu and no email as promised. So I called in December, she had us down for the right date and she said she would send a menu and details at the beginning of the year. I asked if I could send a down payment as a deposit. She again said that wasnt necessary. Now its the 21st and still nothing... I AM FREAKING OUT.

Luckily we have some back up choices but I will be really bummed if anything happens... I am thinking of giving her until the 15th of February.... I am from the midwest and our destination is up north... so people tend to hibernate in the winter. I am just glad I am not one of her summer brides... She would be getting a phone call every other day. Booo.

Rant over. Thanks for listening.

Oh my gosh I would totally freak out if I were you. I'm glad you have some back-up choices. Have you reached out to any of them already? I'm hoping for the best!

 

[doc dogg]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

I am having a freak out at the moment. Our wedding is planned for the 19th September so we had to get in quick and put down payments and purchase stuff before it was all booked out. So as far as the wedding is going, it has been relatively painless. The problem is that I was told yesterday that the new government has decided to wind up the department I work in, so I am being made redundant. I'll have a job until 30th June, but after that I'll need to find another job in the increasingly tight job market.

Now thanks to some prudent saving over the past 7 years we have enough money for the wedding, but the stress and anxiety of having to find a job with my specific skill set is keeping me up at night. There are opportunities in other parts of the country for me to work, but not for both of us at the current level we are now. No matter what one of us is going to have to accept a significantly lower paid job unless she stays here and I go live where I can find work.

We will have to make some sacrifices, but I'm sure we will be fine in the end. It is just this intermediate period of anxiety and stress that we will both have to deal with.

 

[recordaras]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

I am so sorry about this, doc dogg... What a terrible situation to be in. I would like to wish you the best of luck - while the opportunities may seem slim right now, there is still so much time till the end of June and *hopefully* you will be able to find something that you will enjoy and that won't end up being too much of a pay cut.

 

[doc dogg]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

Thanks!

After a good night sleep I've been able to feel a lot more positive about the future. As I said, we have saved up enough money to cover all the wedding expenses and for a nice honeymoon. We will scale things back a bit to save some money and my workplace will provide counselling and financial planning to get us over the initial hump. My department was a fee-for-service property valuation service for all levels of government. The existing contracts will need to be taken over by private companies now, so hopefully that will create some additional jobs in those firms.

My co-workers have also said they will assist in as many DIY things for the wedding as they can to help us out.

 

[lalitv74]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

Dont know about anyone else but as much as I enjoyed the planning and wish I could do it all again id say pretty much all of it was stressful! I think we try so hard to make it all perfect not just for ourselves but our guests also. I would say tho looking back now none of it matters on the day itself. I had stress right up to the minute I walked down the aisle and even problems when I got to the reception (Not to mention it tipped down!) but I took a deep breath and enjoyed it. I think my guests would agree they were just happy to be fed and watered and past that as long as me and Shane were happy thats all that mattered to them.

 

[hippi_pixi]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

I didn't need a wedding diet as i lost heaps of weight from stress. looking back my only regret was not booking a makeup lady earlier. the one i ended up with was sh!t

 

[recordaras]

Re: What was the most stressful part of your wedding plannin

We finally decided to hire a day of coordinator (who is actually so much more than that) just so I can kick back and relax on the day of. It's quite a splurge considering our modest budget, but we figured the price of having a miserable, stressed out bride trying to micromanage every step was much higher. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people who can just let go!
She has been absolutely lovely so far - helping find vendors, getting special rates, dealing with all the details and helping me create a theme/vision. Best of all, she is as Type A as I am, and I know for a fact that if I tell her I want the napkins and favors arranged in a certain manner, she will do it *exactly* the way I asked.