When do shower invites normally go out?

[Morgie44]

How far in advance did your shower invitations go out?

I am curious because FIL''s are throwing us a shower August 1st. Earlier, they asked who from my side I would want included and I said just my mom and aunt. I haven''t heard anything about it since (not to ask for addresses etc) and it is now a month away! Shouldn''t the invites be going out SOON? Also, FSIL is pregnant with the first grandbaby on that side and due any day (EDD is July 5th). Once the baby comes, our shower is going to be the last thing on any of their minds (not that I would expect that our shower would take precedent over a new baby, I am just saying that things are about to get really hectic for them).

I still had the invite for FSIL''s baby shower that was on May 23rd and it was postmarked April 7th with an RSVP date two weeks before the event. Ours is being hosted at the same place, so I would expect the RSVP timeline to be the same too, but that is 2 weeks away and our invitations aren''t even in the works! I know that a shower is not a requirement it is a gift and I should be happy that they offered at all to throw one, but I can''t help feeling sad that they spent months preparing for FSIL''s shower and now ours is kind of forgotten, or at least heavily procrastinated...

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I''m not sure what you should do but I have to say I feel for ya! My shower is supposedly 2 WEEKS from today and I still haven''t heard about anyone getting an invitation! GAH!!!!

 

[tlh]

It was my thought that if people had to travel... 4-6 weeks.

 

[meresal]

Though I don''t prefer it, or like it at all, I''ve gotten invites to showers and bachelorette parties only 2 weeks away from the event. However, if this shower is for you, then I would call and see if everything is still on. Baby or not, I think you are allowed to inquire about timelines.

My question... is there any reason your only wanted your Mom and your Aunt there? Is it only family? I wonder if maybe they think the event is more lax, becuase you didn''t invite many people?

 

[wannaBMrsH]

My shower is July 18th and the invites haven''t gone out yet either. But honestly, I am not worried, we have a page for events on our wedding website and it''s listed there and I know my family that is making travel arrangements have already booked flights.

I''m sorry that you feel like an afterthought, but I am sure that is not their intention. Sometimes it''s hard when there are multiple joyous occassions going on all at once.

Hope you feel better soon!

 

[Morgie44]

Smurfy - While I am sure it doesn''t make you feel better I have a feeling I''ll be in your shoes in two weeks!

TLH - Thanks, that is the timeline I am used to in my family, and the timeline for the events that I have been to for FI''s family too (including his sis''s shower a few weeks ago)

Meresal - Did the short-notice showers you have attended in the past require RSVP''s? I guess the biggest reason I am concerned is bc I know that the location they are hosting it at requires a minimum of a week notice for a head count, so given a week to contact stragglers, that puts the RSVP deadline at a week and a half to two weeks before, I would think that they would need to be out at LEAST a week before that right?

Also, FIL''s are hosting a shower for their family and my aunts hosted a shower for my mom''s side of the family because combined, our guest list would have been 85 or so people. The families are also about 1.5 hours apart. FMIL and my two FSILs were invited to my family''s shower and I asked that my aunt be included with my mom, because I have no sisters, and she wouldn''t have known anyone else. I don''t think that they would think it is any more or less formal than the FSIL''s baby shower, it will be the same exact guest list (save for 2 or 3 friends at FSIL''s shower) My Fiance has a huuuge family!

WannaBmrsH - Thanks! I think I am in a kind of self-pitying mood so it does make me feel better that others'' shower invites are on a similar (slow) timeline. It all was spurred by FI''s cousin asking me yesterday whether we were still having a shower, bc she hadn''t gotten an invite yet. It kind of put me in an awkward situation because I was like "Well I think we are, I haven''t heard anything different" but it did kind of start the wheels turning in my head that why aren''t the invites out yet? Since FSIL''s were sent out so much earlier!